Justic of the Peace wedding with Reception

texas1805

My Friend is have a JP wedding and then having a family/friend lunch reception about 2 weeks later. What is the etiquette on this style of reception?? Does she register for gifts? Send out formal invitations? Or is it more of just come hang out.....

Maggie0829

texas1805 said:

My Friend is have a JP wedding and then having a family/friend lunch reception about 2 weeks later. What is the etiquette on this style of reception?? Does she register for gifts? Send out formal invitations? Or is it more of just come hang out.....

This party she is having 2 weeks later has nothing to do with her wedding because that is already over with, but rather a celebration of her new marriage.  No wedding type things at all.

I think formal invitations are nice especially if she is inviting a lot of people.  But if it is something super casual with a handful of people then an e-vite would be fine as well.

As for the registry, I wouldn't register if I was her.  Just doesn't seem appropriate.

lyndausvi

It depends on what they want and where the reception is going to be held. 

At a restaurant/venue  or using a caterer - I would say formal invites, as you would need to know counts.     Backyard BBQ  that they are self-catering, their choice if they want invites or word of mouth.

I think they can registry, but not make it a public announcement by say putting them in the invites.

grumbledore

texas1805 said:

My Friend is have a JP wedding and then having a family/friend lunch reception about 2 weeks later. What is the etiquette on this style of reception?? Does she register for gifts? Send out formal invitations? Or is it more of just come hang out.....

Why?  She should just do both the same day.  That's weird.  And I wouldn't register unless I was inviting people to the actual ceremony.

Then again, I wouldn't do this, because it makes no sense.  It saves no money, just creates problems.

Inkdancer

I have two questions:

1. Why the two week gap? Wedding ceremonies do not cost much. All she needs to do is have a JP show up at the venue she's planned for the reception to do the exchange of vows, and voila they are happening all at the same time.

2. The most appropriate way to host a reception for a wedding like this one is to keep it very informal. A gift registry and formal invitations would be very out of place. It may be better for her to mail out casual invitations or call people to invite them to a marriage celebration--note that I do not say wedding reception, since their wedding would have been two weeks prior.

It is perfectly fine to have a private ceremony and a later casual party for friends to come and spend time with the happy couple. But if your friend is doing that, why not just have all those things on the same day and have a very casual wedding?

KatWAG

texas1805 said:

My Friend is have a JP wedding and then having a family/friend lunch reception about 2 weeks later. What is the etiquette on this style of reception?? Does she register for gifts? Send out formal invitations? Or is it more of just come hang out.....

The day she has her JOP is the day of her wedding. If she wants to have a lunch 2 weeks later, thats fine. It just cant have any of the bells and whistles that a wedding reception would have since she will already be married. NO grand entrance, bridal party, spotlight dances, cake cutiing gareter toss etc.

She can send out invites if she wants to, it just needs to be clear that its just a lunch.

And no, she should not register.

It is worth mentioning that since she is having a JOP, it would be in poor taste to have a bridal shower or bach party.

lyndausvi

See the reason I think it's okay to have a registry is because if I'm invited to a party a few weeks after a wedding I'm going to bring a gift.  I don't HAVE to, but I will.  I'm sure I'm not alone.

Some people like to buy off registries.   As long it's not in the invites or publicly announced, in your face I see no problem with someone registering.  Those who want to buy off of them can look them up or ask.  If no one does, NBD the couple still can get the close-out discount.

I also would not have a b-party or shower.

texas1805

Thanks everyone!
Marriage celebration, are just the words I was looking for. I think she is having the "party" at a school gym because it's free...friends cooking....nothing fancy. I'll let her know that email or word of mouth invites are best. This wedding is NOT a big deal to her. She has been engaged over a year and is just now thinking about this wedding.

huskypuppy14

KatWAG said:

texas1805 said:

My Friend is have a JP wedding and then having a family/friend lunch reception about 2 weeks later. What is the etiquette on this style of reception?? Does she register for gifts? Send out formal invitations? Or is it more of just come hang out.....

The day she has her JOP is the day of her wedding. If she wants to have a lunch 2 weeks later, thats fine. It just cant have any of the bells and whistles that a wedding reception would have since she will already be married. NO grand entrance, bridal party, spotlight dances, cake cutiing gareter toss etc.

She can send out invites if she wants to, it just needs to be clear that its just a lunch.

And no, she should not register.

It is worth mentioning that since she is having a JOP, it would be in poor taste to have a bridal shower or bach party.

I just want to clarify, that just because you are having a JOP officiating your wedding, that has no bearing on whether you can have a bridal shower or anything.

 I'm having a JOP officiating my wedding, because I'm not religious and did not want a religious ceremony. However, I'm having a regular wedding with the ceremony and reception on the same day, at the same venue with the same guests. 

I'm assuming you meant a private courthouse wedding. Or having a private ceremony.

crunchymamaof2

@laurynm84 yes! Jop and a courthouse wedding aren't the same thing. We had a jop officiate for us as well.

fourtsixand2

I think if she *wants* to register for gifts, there should be nothing wrong with that.  There *are* going to be people who want to purchase gifts and having a registry to reference would be helpful.

It's just my opinion, but getting married at the JP vs an actual 'ceremony' could be finance related/preference, etc ... I don't believe getting married at the JP is reason to not offer a celebratory gift.

CMGragain

People are free to give gifts at any time, for any reason.  What is rude is to expect gifts.  A bride who is being married privately with no wedding reception should not register for gifts.

Maggie0829

Just a FYI, many times on here when we say a JOP wedding, we are talking about a courthouse wedding, not a wedding that was officiated by a JOP but still had all the trappings of a "traditional" wedding.