Cash Bar?

aleighc3

DaisyMaeMommy said:

aleighc3 said:

Maggie0829 said:

aleighc3 said:

Maggie0829 said:

AddieCake said:

From her other post, the soda thing is that they claim they have no way to keep it cold.

@Serena569 - It is called coolers and ice.  You can find them at your local Walmart.

walmart is a horrible company! No one should shop there...unless they want junk from people who treat their employees like crap....

@aleighc3 - FFS that is the first place that popped into my head (probably because I work across the street from one), who knew that I was going to get bashed for putting down a random store name. Home Depot, Target, CVS, Walgreens, Dicks, grocery stores all carry that shit as well.  Do those suit you better?  

Anyways, this isn't about a fucking store, this is about the fact that a simple solution of purchasing a cooler (or coolers) and bags of ice will help keep all drinks cold.

I never bashed you...just walmart. I don't know why you are so upset.

Out of everything they've been talking about, all you mention is them saying they can pick up coolers at Wal-Mart, really?

You have too much time on your hands.

No, too much time on my hands would be going back and forth on a subject a million times. Everything I would have said, was already said, except for what I said about walmart.

Inkdancer

Marzipan13

PDKH said:

@succulentobsession serious question - if I know 90-95% of my guest list is vegetarian, but realize that the remaining 5-10% may enjoy a meat dish, is it ok if I offer a vegetarian meal at no cost, but charge any guests wanting meal for their meal?

THISSSSS.

PrettyGirlLost

aleighc3 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

aleighc3 said:

Maggie0829 said:

AddieCake said:

From her other post, the soda thing is that they claim they have no way to keep it cold.

@Serena569 - It is called coolers and ice.  You can find them at your local Walmart.

walmart is a horrible company! No one should shop there...unless they want junk from people who treat their employees like crap....

OK, or Target.  Better?

Do we have to preach about ppl's shopping choices. . . really?  If you don't want to shop there, then don't.

I was just saying...chill

So was I.

aleighc3

PrettyGirlLost said:

aleighc3 said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

aleighc3 said:

Maggie0829 said:

AddieCake said:

From her other post, the soda thing is that they claim they have no way to keep it cold.

@Serena569 - It is called coolers and ice.  You can find them at your local Walmart.

walmart is a horrible company! No one should shop there...unless they want junk from people who treat their employees like crap....

OK, or Target.  Better?

Do we have to preach about ppl's shopping choices. . . really?  If you don't want to shop there, then don't.

I was just saying...chill

So was I.

Ok, glad we cleared that up...

grumbledore

theyllcallmemrsmorris said:

succulentobsession said:

There is nothing wrong with having a cash bar...as long as you're supplying the soda/water/etc and the alcohol or sparkling cider for toasts. I grew up around dry weddings and my family is mostly made up of non-drinkers. Having a cash bar as an option is a good idea if only a handful of people going to your wedding are big on alcohol. You should make a note of it in your wedding website, so no one is caught off guard. However, if people are going to gripe because they feel the need to be drunk for free to enjoy your wedding, then you don't deserve the added stress. Bottom line: judge based on the people who will be there. If the vast majority do not feel the need to drink on top of whatever is supplied for toasts, then don't waste your money. If the vast majority are in the school of thought that celebrating means getting drunk, then shell out for the full shebang.

You must be new.

I'm just being realistic. The wedding is about the couple and the guests. Every guest list is different, so every wedding should be tailored to fit that guest list.

Every wedding should be held in the most gracious way possible.  This means hosting all of the things that are offered to your guests.

PrincessOfHavoc

I do shop at Wal-Mart. Seeing as they remain the only local pharmacy who can keep my needed medication on hand, it's not a debate. Now, if local private pharmacy would bother to keep said medication on hand, I might go back. But, not stocking a basic drug because you have issues with treatment for PTSD and anxiety isn't good business either.

I'm still not having a cash bar. Or any alcohol.

serena569

Wow!  So my other post has been referenced but nobody mentioned that we're also offering coffee, milk and iced tea.  And since that post have added lime cherry water.  There are plenty of alcoholic and non alcoholic options and arrangements have been made to keep them cold.  But we simply do not have the ability to cool enough soda for 250 guests.  (This would be something like 750 cans for the day.) 

I'm sorry many of you find this offensive.  I don't wake up each morning looking for ways that people shoud accommodate me.  As a wedding guest, I choose to be grateful that I have invited rather than to be offended by what is being served. 

I was raised to accept things with gratitude because nobody owes me anything.  My FI was raised the same way.  And our guests are the people who raised us or were raised with us so they all have the same attitudes.

southerngirl2011

The responses about OP's age and intellectual capacity are unnecessarily rude. Yes, there are countless threads on this topic. Yes, they can be found by a search. But to be disgusting towards a child, or any human being for that matter, is downright distasteful. Most of you all possibly live miserable lives and get off on posting the most sarcastic, snarky, b****y thing you can come up with. Yet, you teach your children that they shouldn't bully others. 

wrigleyville

southerngirl2011 said:

The responses about OP's age and intellectual capacity are unnecessarily rude. Yes, there are countless threads on this topic. Yes, they can be found by a search. But to be disgusting towards a child, or any human being for that matter, is downright distasteful. Most of you all possibly live miserable lives and get off on posting the most sarcastic, snarky, b****y thing you can come up with. Yet, you teach your children that they shouldn't bully others. 

I'm so glad you resurrected a four-month old thread just to call people out. Kudos to you.

southernbelle0915

southerngirl2011 said:

The responses about OP's age and intellectual capacity are unnecessarily rude. Yes, there are countless threads on this topic. Yes, they can be found by a search. But to be disgusting towards a child, or any human being for that matter, is downright distasteful. Most of you all possibly live miserable lives and get off on posting the most sarcastic, snarky, b****y thing you can come up with. Yet, you teach your children that they shouldn't bully others. 

Welcome to the Snarky Brides board. You do realize that's where you are, right?

About your post, wtf is this nonsense? You bring up a 4 month old thread to scold people, say they live miserable lives and make assumptions about their parenting philosophy? 

southerngirl2011

While I have had an account for quite some time, I am VERY new to the Community part of the site. As in this week "new". So, as I search or come across things and read them and the comments, it is new to me. If this bothers you, perhaps you should ask the site administrators to remove od threads to avoid this. 

I do realize this is the "snarky brides" board. Snark and sarcasm I get. Disrespect if just one thing that deeply offends me.  Furthermore, I'm not here with the sole purpose to "scold" however "scolding" seems to be more of the general idea in the community that "advice."

Disrespect is not my cup of tea, therefore I will no longer participate. I can appreciate constructive criticism (I believe you commented on a post of mine with an alternative point of view and I found no issue with your words) but it is hard to receive the message when the delivery is made with disgust. 

ohannabelle

southerngirl2011 said:

The responses about OP's age and intellectual capacity are unnecessarily rude. Yes, there are countless threads on this topic. Yes, they can be found by a search. But to be disgusting towards a child, or any human being for that matter, is downright distasteful. Most of you all possibly live miserable lives and get off on posting the most sarcastic, snarky, b****y thing you can come up with. Yet, you teach your children that they shouldn't bully others. 

A: What utter, poorly reasoned horseshit. (to the bolded)

B: The responses about the OP's age and intellectual ability are valid, based on her previous posts. (Which I doubt that you read.)  Adolescents do not have the same reasoning or intellectual skills as adults. A good dose of truth doesn't hurt them. Nothing was said that would even vaguely qualify as "disgusting."

C: If you're that hypersensitive, the internet is probably a bad place for you. Avoid message boards labeled "Beware. Snarky. Leave your sensitivity at the door, etc."

I'll treat your opinions with all the respect they deserve. Let me add up the total score of fucks I give. Yep. Zero. 

southerngirl2011

I'm sure I feel the same about my comment as you do yours. I won't go as far as to give your response a play by play with my opinion, but I just don't see how any grown woman can take pride in poking fun at a child.

I've said my piece, and you yours. Best of luck on your upcoming or recent nuptials.

Simply Fated

southerngirl2011 said:

While I have had an account for quite some time, I am VERY new to the Community part of the site. As in this week "new". So, as I search or come across things and read them and the comments, it is new to me. If this bothers you, perhaps you should ask the site administrators to remove od threads to avoid this. 

I do realize this is the "snarky brides" board. Snark and sarcasm I get. Disrespect if just one thing that deeply offends me.  Furthermore, I'm not here with the sole purpose to "scold" however "scolding" seems to be more of the general idea in the community that "advice."

Disrespect is not my cup of tea, therefore I will no longer participate. I can appreciate constructive criticism (I believe you commented on a post of mine with an alternative point of view and I found no issue with your words) but it is hard to receive the message when the delivery is made with disgust. 

To the bold portion of your post: We did. They offered to lock them for us, instead.

@southerngirl2011 this has nothing to do with you being new to these forums, but perhaps you are new to all forums, not just The Knot forums? It is basic forum courtesy not to "resurrect" dead threads. You can very easily tell if a thread is dead. One of the easiest ways to tell if a thread is dead is if it hasn't been posted in for over a month. In this case, it's been several months.

If you are very much interested in discussing cash bars, there is a thread that has been stickied over at the Etiquette board.

southerngirl2011

@Simply Fated As a matter of fact i am new to all wedding forums in general. I joined The Knot when i was a MOH in a friends wedding but decided to make use of my account and the community after my recent engagement. I appreciate your approach, I honestly do. I assume that if i have the ability to read and comment on any thread, article, message board by the site administrator, then the user's frustration in me doing so is a bit misplaced. But now that you have explained that its against common forum courtesy- thanks, lesson learned. Perhaps another email to the site administrators about actually locking or disabling the comments option? A grown woman "tearing into" another doesn't simply make the box disappear...

ohannabelle

It's also common forum courtesy not to enter a community (just like any other place) and tell people they're "disgusting" and "have miserable lives."  Since you're so concerned with other people's behavior, you may want to check your own.

beethery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae8l2q3Kwfg

This man profits in huge amounts from the wedding industry, but even HE doesn't think anyone should have a cash bar. Dude did the math for you, and lord knows he's a reputable source on wedding knowledge.

jakeiaf

My sister had a dry wedding last night. But it wasn't her fault. Due to circumstances out of her control she had to change her venue and basically replan her whole wedding in seven days. It was still very beautiful. The reception hall didn't serve alcohol but you could basically b.y.o.b. In replanning her wedding she forgot about alcohol. She had a lot of older people there who weren't worried about alcohol anyway. However those that were worried about it had it in their bag (they already knew it would be dry) and the venue wasn't upset because they knew her circumstances, or didn't care. So it was dry but not really dry. Does that even make sense? Lol. 

southernbelle0915

southerngirl2011 said:

While I have had an account for quite some time, I am VERY new to the Community part of the site. As in this week "new". So, as I search or come across things and read them and the comments, it is new to me. If this bothers you, perhaps you should ask the site administrators to remove od threads to avoid this. 

I do realize this is the "snarky brides" board. Snark and sarcasm I get. Disrespect if just one thing that deeply offends me.  Furthermore, I'm not here with the sole purpose to "scold" however "scolding" seems to be more of the general idea in the community that "advice."

Disrespect is not my cup of tea, therefore I will no longer participate. I can appreciate constructive criticism (I believe you commented on a post of mine with an alternative point of view and I found no issue with your words) but it is hard to receive the message when the delivery is made with disgust. 

So you're all about respect and constructive criticism but you say the people on here are disgusting, lead miserable lives and have bad parenting skills...

You, my dear, get the slow clap for utter hypocrisy. Congratulations!!

beethery

southerngirl2011 said:

While I have had an account for quite some time, I am VERY new to the Community part of the site. As in this week "new". So, as I search or come across things and read them and the comments, it is new to me. If this bothers you, perhaps you should ask the site administrators to remove od threads to avoid this. 

I do realize this is the "snarky brides" board. Snark and sarcasm I get. Disrespect if just one thing that deeply offends me.  Furthermore, I'm not here with the sole purpose to "scold" however "scolding" seems to be more of the general idea in the community that "advice."

Disrespect is not my cup of tea, therefore I will no longer participate. I can appreciate constructive criticism (I believe you commented on a post of mine with an alternative point of view and I found no issue with your words) but it is hard to receive the message when the delivery is made with disgust. 

Well, damn! I know I'm sure going to change my ways.

southerngirl2011

Yes, It's no different that telling another member her behavior is rude and selfish. The notion is that she is a grown adult who should be able to accept an opinion different than her own, correct? As I've said before, the remarks were made to a child. So yes, that was a disgusting thing to say. And I honestly don't care that you may not agree.  And again, best wishes to you all. 

southernbelle0915

southerngirl2011 said:

Yes, It's no different that telling another member her behavior is rude and selfish. The notion is that she is a grown adult who should be able to accept an opinion different than her own, correct? As I've said before, the remarks were made to a child. So yes, that was a disgusting thing to say. And I honestly don't care that you may not agree.  And again, best wishes to you all. 

Annnnnddddd you still don't get it. 

It's not about whether we agree. It's about you saying that you're all about respect and constructive criticism and then doing exactly the opposite. You're being called out for being hypocritical, not for disagreeing.

ohannabelle

southerngirl2011 said:

Yes, It's no different that telling another member her behavior is rude and selfish. The notion is that she is a grown adult who should be able to accept an opinion different than her own, correct? As I've said before, the remarks were made to a child. So yes, that was a disgusting thing to say. And I honestly don't care that you may not agree.  And again, best wishes to you all. 

Saying "best wishes" doesn't make you any less rude or hypocritical. 

lurkergirl

I made my first post today. I lurked for literally months first. Hell, it took me more than a week just to read back in the threads, and then I stalked the current threads for a while to learn the ropes. I highly recommend you do the same. Everyone here is just trying to help, and they have some fabulous advice if you are willing to take it.

ohannabelle

southerngirl2011 said:

Yes, It's no different that telling another member her behavior is rude and selfish. The notion is that she is a grown adult who should be able to accept an opinion different than her own, correct? As I've said before, the remarks were made to a child. So yes, that was a disgusting thing to say. And I honestly don't care that you may not agree.  And again, best wishes to you all. 

Aaaaand, another thought. I'll address this.

You keep repeating, she's a "child" and referencing  "disgusting" remarks.

There is nothing on this thread that qualifies as "disgusting," in any sense of the word. 

Nobody was offering twerking lessons to a six year old, or swearing at an eight year old. That would qualify as "disgusting." 

There is really nothing on this thread that should not be said to a seventeen, almost eighteen year old, and not a damned thing that a normal person would qualify as "disgusting."

I'm going to guess you have limited experience, or ineffective experience in dealing with seventeen year olds. The fact is, blunt honesty doesn't hurt them. In fact, when children are constantly mollycoddled and protected from the consequences of their various stupidities (and they often have them) it only encourages them in thinking that they are indeed the smartest and most special little snowflakes in the world, and that the rules of common sense don't apply to them.

What this little snowflake received were nothing more than the consequences of her actions. She was publicly behaving like a dumbass, and was told so, in no uncertain terms. Consequences have actions. At seventeen, if you haven't learned that at home, you go out into the world and guess what? You learn it the hard way. If a seventeen year old wants to enter an adult situation, and pretend adult behavior, and tell adults she's sooooo much wiser than they could know, and get snotty with her elders, she's in for negative feedback. That's how the world works.

Nobody was cruel, nobody was "disgusting." Maybe she learned something that she obviously hadn't learned at home. Her parents should be ashamed. Not the members of this forum. Stop saying "disgusting" at people who don't deserve it.

southerngirl2011

I'm going to say this and be done-

The very thing that you all are "calling me out on" is the very thing most of you do here every day. You tell a child, albeit a 17 year old child, that she is a dumbass who basically has no business being on this site and are able to justify it by saying she asked a dumb question, should know better, wasn't raised right... etc. You lace very negative comments with claims that you are just giving honest and blunt opinions on etiquette and wedding plans. But when I say that I find your actions towards the OP distasteful and off-putting and yes, disgusting, then I get a lashing for being hypocritical? When I add "best wishes," I get told it doesn't make the comment any less rude? Than what?! Calling someone a dumbass? Most of the posters here are queens of hypocrisy. And trust, I've lurked long enough to get the hang of who gives genuine advice and who just takes the opportunity to drag perfectly fine advice through nastiness and disrespectful sarcasm so save that one. I usually do very well with picking my battles but this was one I could not resist. As I stated before, I won't apologize for seeing things differently but I think we could all stand to mind our manners.

southernbelle0915

southerngirl2011 said:

I'm going to say this and be done- The very thing that you all are "calling me out on" is the very thing most of you do here every day. You tell a child, albeit a 17 year old child, that she is a dumbass who basically has no business being on this site and are able to justify it by saying she asked a dumb question, should know better, wasn't raised right... etc. You lace very negative comments with claims that you are just giving honest and blunt opinions on etiquette and wedding plans. But when I say that I find your actions towards the OP distasteful and off-putting and yes, disgusting, then I get a lashing for being hypocritical? When I add "best wishes," I get told it doesn't make the comment any less rude? Than what?! Calling someone a dumbass? Most of the posters here are queens of hypocrisy. And trust, I've lurked long enough to get the hang of who gives genuine advice and who just takes the opportunity to drag perfectly fine advice through nastiness and disrespectful sarcasm so save that one. I usually do very well with picking my battles but this was one I could not resist. As I stated before, I won't apologize for seeing things differently but I think we could all stand to mind our manners.

I can't tell if you are putting us on or if you seriously do not understand the definition of hypocrisy.

You said you're all about "respect" and "constructive criticism". THEN you turn around and call people "digusting", say we "lead miserable lives" and make digs at their parenting skills. Those are pretty disrespectful things to say and not very constructive. THAT is what's hypocritical. Get it now?

You can't insult people and then turn around and try to be the nice guy and say "we could all stand to mind our manners". Please...

ohannabelle

I'm glad you've finished, because you've made no valid points. A lot of tedious incorrect assumptions and aspersions, but skirted around the facts.

Q: Where were the "disgusting" comments?

A: Nowhere.

Q: Who is or was being hypocritical?  (A pretense of higher standards or morals than one practices)

A: Not I. The answer "most of the posters here" is assumptive on your part. Yes, you can feel however you choose, but a feeling is not a fact. 

Q:"You tell a child, albeit a 17 year old child, that she is a dumbass who basically has no business being on this site and are able to justify it by saying she asked a dumb question, should know better, wasn't raised right... etc." Uhm. Where did this happen?

A: Nowhere. 

I didn't "tell a child" she was a dumbass. I said a seventeen year old who is no longer here was behaving like a dumbass. Nobody ever used the word dumbass to her. Nice dramatic spin on your part, but not true. Even if it had been true, the word dumbass is neither obscene or cruel, and I have never met a seventeen year old who would think so. 

Yes, you're being called out on your remarks. That's what happens on the internet, which is a forum for opinions. Did you think you were somehow different than everyone else, and calling people out on their remarks was your special privilege? 

You read one small chapter of a long story, made assumptions about people, invented disingenuous drama, twisted a few statements, threw a few stones, and whined because you didn't like the responses. Almost like an overly dramatic seventeen year old. 

So yes, agreed. You should be done. 

Cookie Pusher

If someone is "mature" enough to get married (and OP kept claiming she was), then she's mature enough to handle hearing the blunt, honest truth.