Destination Weddings Discussions

"We'll just vacation simultaneously at the same resort, you don't have to invite us to the wedding"

This has been said to us now more than once by friends. One of whom we didn't believe had the means to actually follow through so we sort of blew it off with a very non-committal "oh, okay, sounds great." Then a couple we are quite close to but unable to invite due to budget said this as well and I almost fell out of my chair. What do you say to someone who says something like that?! Obviously the resort is a public place and we can't dictate when or where our friends (or anyone else) vacations but this has left me feeling really uncomfortable. If they do actually make the trip to Mexico I would feel compelled to invite them. But that strains our budget and doesn't leave us in the best position financially to add to our guest list. I've heard of self-inviters before but we figured a DW out of the country would sort of help eliminate that type of issue. What to do!?

Re: "We'll just vacation simultaneously at the same resort, you don't have to invite us to the wedding"

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    Tell them you are already married and that they are not missing anything.  Problem solved. 
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    What?! I would be kinda pissed if our friends did that! I would just be honest. Tell them you would feel bad if they spent the money to go down there because you can't afford to add anyone else to the guest list. Hopefully they will get the hint and not be persistent about it. 
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    That's one of the strangest things I have ever heard! Who would vacation with your friends and family when they are clearly not invited to the wedding? I would not even know how to respond to that. I suppose you just let them know that you would feel bad having them come to Mexico but not be invited to any of the wedding activities because unfortunately it's just not in your budget, but you would be happy to celebrate with them when you get back. Good luck!!
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    Hmm @mobkaz, that might just work if they weren't already aware and couldn't care less about the particulars. Maybe I should mention the satan worshipping and live newborn sacrifice instead?


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    Seriously though........

    I'm hoping our lack of providing any additional details of the resort, exacts dates/times will help and they will not follow through. 

    Maybe they realized what they were proposing and figured out it was a wonky idea? 

    We have dinner plans this week so I guess we'll find out!
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        Our wedding is going to be at Disneyland. Coincidentally, FI's cousins happen to be vacationing there on the same week! Now I know this was not deliberate on either of our parts. We didn't get our first date choice and Fi's cousins booked their trip a while ago. We never even talked to them about our wedding (beyond the fact we were engaged) or when it was going to be as we decided early on to have only immediate family. I am certainly not going to tell them they can't vacation there at that time, especially because they booked their trip before we booked our wedding. 

        As it is, we actually could fit them in. Our package is for 20 and we are at 17. It's a flat rate so I pay for 20 meals whether I have 2 or 20. I have met and like them so I have no problem with them being there, and we will certainly spend time before and after in the parks with them. Fi's family is just more concerned about what other relatives will say if they find out they were included after we said immediate family only. My side won't care one way or another. We are going to wait a little bit and think about it before deciding. 
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