I got my first one [vent]

CrazyCatLady3

We got about 2/3 of our RSVPs without any uninvited write-ins, but I just got one where the [invited] couple wrote in their [uninvited] baby on the RSVP. I'm irritated that now I have to send them the awkward "we're sorry we can't accommodate [speshul snowflake]; we hope you can still make it." 

I'm worried that if they decide to come anyway they will be smiling and nice on the outside but just thinking "OMG YOU EVIL BABY-HATING WITCH" the whole time on the inside.

HisGirlFriday13

Ugh. I'm sorry. How old is the baby? If it's young, they might decline because they don't want to leave it at home.

Not that that excludes their rudeness, because it doesn't. At all.

CrazyCatLady3

The baby is 6 months.  If they had to decline, I wouldn't be offended.  I'm just annoyed that they assumed they could bring the baby and it puts me in an awkward position.  We are having a small wedding at a small (non-child friendly) venue, so I'm really not inclined to just let this one slide.

HisGirlFriday13

That makes sense. And of course you don't have to let any of this slide, because they are being rude.

People and babies just always amuse me. We had two couples who had babies one week apart, two months before our wedding. Couple A (my college BFF and her husband) were OVER THE MOON excited we said, 'please bring your infant daughter.'

Couple B, DH's friend and his wife, were like, 'Yeah, about that...we really want an adults-only weekend, so is it OK if we don't bring the kid?' when we told them their infant son was more than welcome if they wanted to bring him.

In both cases, we wanted the parents there enough to be willing to accommodate the kids (and it didn't cost us anything either way; our venue didn't charge for babies under 1 year).

We also had other kids (all family) at the wedding and had a fairly kid-friendly wedding, which fit with our personalities and our families.

But NO ONE just 'assumed' their kids were invited. That would have irritated me, because, well, just because I invited some kids doesn't mean I invited all kids.

I invited some of my second cousins; not all of them. Same idea.

CrazyCatLady3

I'm feeling a little bad b/c I think she's probably still BFing.  To the moms out there, if you are still exclusively BFing, it is a big deal to pump enough in advance to put in a bottle for your baby who stays with a sitter while you go to a 5 hour event?

grumbledore

I would think that at 6 months this should be pretty manageable. If the baby was a few months younger I would just let the mother bring the baby if she was breast feeding, but that's just me.

a13049

CrazyCatLady3 said:

I'm feeling a little bad b/c I think she's probably still BFing.  To the moms out there, if you are still exclusively BFing, it is a big deal to pump enough in advance to put in a bottle for your baby who stays with a sitter while you go to a 5 hour event?

Well it depends in the women. To me, I loved exclusively bfing but I loathed the pump. I had to be hooked up to the pump much longer than it would take dd to nurse. My pump made me sore. Also, the big deal isn't usually about just pumping enough to feed while baby is away but keeping your body on schedule. I couldn't skip a pumping/nursing session without leaking everywhere. So feeding the LO is way easier than packing a pump, cooler and holing up somewhere, most likely a bathroom. I would consider how well I knew you before I would leave my LO behind. Also, at 6 months my dd was just introduced to a bottle. Some moms have no problem pumping and babies transition back and forth better.

misshart00

a13049 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

I'm feeling a little bad b/c I think she's probably still BFing.  To the moms out there, if you are still exclusively BFing, it is a big deal to pump enough in advance to put in a bottle for your baby who stays with a sitter while you go to a 5 hour event?

Well it depends in the women. To me, I loved exclusively bfing but I loathed the pump. I had to be hooked up to the pump much longer than it would take dd to nurse. My pump made me sore. Also, the big deal isn't usually about just pumping enough to feed while baby is away but keeping your body on schedule. I couldn't skip a pumping/nursing session without leaking everywhere. So feeding the LO is way easier than packing a pump, cooler and holing up somewhere, most likely a bathroom. I would consider how well I knew you before I would leave my LO behind. Also, at 6 months my dd was just introduced to a bottle. Some moms have no problem pumping and babies transition back and forth better.

All of this. Except, I have no problem pumping. But it could throw off my schedule or baby might need something special. Mine is 6 months and just got out of the hospital so I wouldn't be comfortable passing her off to someone else for the evening.

singinchick13

DS is almost 7 months and is exclusively formula fed. We have only ever left him alone for maybe 2 or 3 hours max with one of our parents, and I can count the number of times we've done this on one hand. This is mostly because of his comfort with people - or lack thereof. He is great for us but if we're not around he loses interest in feeding and sleeping and gets very fussy. At the end of the day, we are his parents and are responsible for him eating enough and if that means staying home with him and missing a friend's wedding because he was not invited, then so be it. 

I wouldn't "assume" he was invited, but with a baby this young the couple may think you just forgot that they have a new addition and intended to include their whole household. It could be an honest mistake, and I'm sure it happens all the time.

CrazyCatLady3

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

thisismynickname2

The guest might be clueless, rude, or think you made a mistake, but depending on how the rest of the responses come in, I might let that slide. I'd rather have friends at the wedding with a lap baby I don't have to buy a meal for than not have them there at all.

singinchick13

Formula if needed can be a personal choice, can be added for additional nutrition, but for us it was medically necessary because he had surgery at 10 days old and was on a ventilator for almost a month so he couldn't feed orally for a long time. Many mothers choose to breastfeed only because it is the optimal nutrition for the baby, and formula is very expensive. By 6 months they can be on solids (purees/cereals) in addition to formula or breastmilk. 

I honestly doubt she would breastfeed at the table. Especially at a wedding, but I guess you never know. If she really wants her baby to come she will figure it out, and I'm sure, be modest and appropriate enough when she feeds LO.

huskypuppy14

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

I am not a parent, but my friends that breast feed do not give their children formula. Now, I believe at  6 months old, children can start on solid foods, and many women go back to work around this time or earlier.  

Also, it's not your concern where she breast feeds her child. If she is comfortable to do it at the table, so be it.  Most likely she'll go into another room, but she really shouldn't be asked to do it somewhere else.  Women have the right to breastfeed their children in public, it's a law (at least in my state.)

a13049

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

A baby can have formula at any age, but that is a parenting choice and many EBFers, like myself, would much prefer to skip an event instead of giving their baby formula. If the parent is indeed EBFing, it takes commitment and sometimes sacrifice. We do it, because we believe we are doing what's best for our child. Some moms choose to supplement, but again, this can cause issues with supply, how much depends on each individual women. As to your second question, yes there is a big debate surrounding women breastfeeding in public, and what is considered decent. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable nursing in public, but I would never judge a mom who does. Dd never liked being under a cover or blanket, so maybe if she allowed that I would be more adventurous. Idk. You need to decide how much you want this specific guest at your wedding, because it's very likely if you tell her you don't want her LO there she won't come either. Lots of people make exceptions for babies, but it's your call.

CrazyCatLady3

laurynm84 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

I am not a parent, but my friends that breast feed do not give their children formula. Now, I believe at  6 months old, children can start on solid foods, and many women go back to work around this time or earlier.  

Also, it's not your concern where she breast feeds her child. If she is comfortable to do it at the table, so be it.  Most likely she'll go into another room, but she really shouldn't be asked to do it somewhere else.  Women have the right to breastfeed their children in public, it's a law (at least in my state.)

I appreciate the info, but I disagree with this point. This is not in public; it's a private event.  If I walked into a Starbucks and someone was BFing in the open I wouldn't say or do anything about it and could just leave, but I would have a problem if it was at my event and it was making my other guests uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for all the info everyone.  I am going to think it over and may stick to my guns and risk the decline because there are other people coming without their LOs who might be annoyed about the exception.  And in general I am just uncomfortable around babies and don't want to be thinking about it at the wedding.

lyndausvi

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

Sorry to be blunt, but it's really not your concern if they can or can not. Regardless if they can or can't  it doesn't matter.   Every parent parent's differently.

  I know BFF'ers who will leave their kid for a few hours with no problem.  I know a formula parents who haven't left their kids side in 4 years (not kidding, the mom has NEVER left her child with anyone at anytime).    Most people fall somewhere in the middle, but even then it's based the the individual kid. 

 I know one mom whose first 2 kids were really mellow, they mostly BF, but would take a bottle of formula from a babysitter with no issue.  Their 3rd kid.  HELL-TO-THE-NO, this kid would only eat from mom's boob, PERIOD.  

As far as BF'ing at the table.  It's her choice on where to BF, not yours.

The only thing you need to decide is if you would be really upset at them not attending if their child can't.  Only you can decide.  

I had 2 people with infants (6 mons and 8 months).  I stuck to no kids other than my nieces and nephews.   Wedding was OOT.  Both couples came.  One left their child with grandparents for the night (it was their 3rd kid and they seemed to be pasted the nervous stage).  The other brought a babysitter to watch the child back at the hotel (1st kid).      

Had either one said they could not come because the baby wasn't invited I would be said "sorry to hear you can't make it" then left it at that.

Rebl90

Not a mom,but my FI watched his nephews when they were 4 mos old when FSIL & FBIL went to a wedding and were exited for a baby-free evening. 

I just wanted to say that I feel like you are over-thinking it. They made the assumption that their baby is invited when baby was clearly not.  You have two options: 1) Extend invite to baby and stop worrying about what she will do with it while she is there.  She may BF, she may let it fuss during the ceremony, or she may not do any of those things. Yes, it is your wedding, but it is not your baby. 2) Contact the parents and give them the spiel, and if they decline, that's on them. 

There doesn't need to be a discussion about BF v. formula or if the baby is old enough to be without mom for 5 hours.  Deal with this as you would with any other write-in. 

mysticl

CrazyCatLady3 said:

I'm feeling a little bad b/c I think she's probably still BFing.  To the moms out there, if you are still exclusively BFing, it is a big deal to pump enough in advance to put in a bottle for your baby who stays with a sitter while you go to a 5 hour event?

For me absolutely yes.  First I do not respond well to the pump.  Second my son would not take a bottle.  So, obviously I would not have left him for that long of a period of time when he was that age.  

mysticl

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

Well, they can if the child will take it.  If a child has only gotten breastmilk from the "source" for their entire life and you all of a sudden try to give formula in a bottle there is a good chance the child will refuse it.  

When I took my son to a wedding I did leave the room to breastfeed.  Not for the comfort of any of the guests but for the comfort of my son because he gets distracted by other people.  She does not have to leave the room to breastfeed.  The wording in several states is that a woman has the right to breastfeed in any public or private location that she has the legal right to be.  So by extending her an invitation she has the legal right to be there and the legal right to breastfeed.  

melbenso

I had the same thing happen a week or two ago.  It made me irrationally angry at first.  But in the end, I opted to just ignore it.  The couple is coming in from out of state and bringing their infant (who doesn't eat solid foods yet, so no extra plates to order for me).  It's very important to FI that they be there. So, I'll make sure there is an extra chair at their table for them to set the baby carrier on, but won't be doing anything else.  We are having family kids at our wedding, so I doubt one baby is going to ruin my day.

banana468

CrazyCatLady3 said:

laurynm84 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

I am not a parent, but my friends that breast feed do not give their children formula. Now, I believe at  6 months old, children can start on solid foods, and many women go back to work around this time or earlier.  

Also, it's not your concern where she breast feeds her child. If she is comfortable to do it at the table, so be it.  Most likely she'll go into another room, but she really shouldn't be asked to do it somewhere else.  Women have the right to breastfeed their children in public, it's a law (at least in my state.)

I appreciate the info, but I disagree with this point. This is not in public; it's a private event.  If I walked into a Starbucks and someone was BFing in the open I wouldn't say or do anything about it and could just leave, but I would have a problem if it was at my event and it was making my other guests uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for all the info everyone.  I am going to think it over and may stick to my guns and risk the decline because there are other people coming without their LOs who might be annoyed about the exception.  And in general I am just uncomfortable around babies and don't want to be thinking about it at the wedding.

If you allow a breastfeeding child (you certainly don't have to) you don't get to tell the parent where to do it. If you welcomed me to your event and the told me to go to another room because you didn't want to see that I would lose a massive amount of respect for you and you would lose my wedding gift to you.

If you want a adult only wedding with no babies then knock yourself out. I'll be the first one to support that. But don't tell nursing mothers where they can feed their kids.

CrazyCatLady3

Yup, I have decided to stick to the no babies rule.

a13049

banana468 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

laurynm84 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

I am not a parent, but my friends that breast feed do not give their children formula. Now, I believe at  6 months old, children can start on solid foods, and many women go back to work around this time or earlier.  

Also, it's not your concern where she breast feeds her child. If she is comfortable to do it at the table, so be it.  Most likely she'll go into another room, but she really shouldn't be asked to do it somewhere else.  Women have the right to breastfeed their children in public, it's a law (at least in my state.)

I appreciate the info, but I disagree with this point. This is not in public; it's a private event.  If I walked into a Starbucks and someone was BFing in the open I wouldn't say or do anything about it and could just leave, but I would have a problem if it was at my event and it was making my other guests uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for all the info everyone.  I am going to think it over and may stick to my guns and risk the decline because there are other people coming without their LOs who might be annoyed about the exception.  And in general I am just uncomfortable around babies and don't want to be thinking about it at the wedding.

If you allow a breastfeeding child (you certainly don't have to) you don't get to tell the parent where to do it. If you welcomed me to your event and the told me to go to another room because you didn't want to see that I would lose a massive amount of respect for you and you would lose my wedding gift to you.

If you want a adult only wedding with no babies then knock yourself out. I'll be the first one to support that. But don't tell nursing mothers where they can feed their kids.

I


I agree, if you decide to invite her as a bf mother with her baby, don't be rude and tell her where she can and can not bf. if you invite her and you aren't comfortable with her feeding at the table, very politely offer another accomodation. Don't force it on her and definetly don't ban her to bf in the bathroom. Your comment comes off very rude and judge of BF mothers IMO

You comment about this isn't public is MY event, is just another way of sayings " but it my day/wedding/party" so you can control everyone. You have a choice, allow her to bring her baby and let her bf as she chooses or tell her politely that your event is adults only and she can not bring her baby. In nicer words of course. As for your other guests getting mad, well most parent understand the difference in bringing their baby and then bringing an older child.

PrettyGirlLost

CrazyCatLady3 said:

The baby is 6 months.  If they had to decline, I wouldn't be offended.  I'm just annoyed that they assumed they could bring the baby and it puts me in an awkward position.  We are having a small wedding at a small (non-child friendly) venue, so I'm really not inclined to just let this one slide.

This is the risk you take when having a child free event and inviting people who have infants.  Maybe this couple honestly doesn't know the etiquette of invitations or haven't been to a child free wedding?  Were they rude to write in their child?  I guess, but it's not really a huge deal, right? 

Don't be annoyed, just make the phone call!

And I'm not saying that you are wrong in any way for having a child free event.  Not at all.

MuppetOverlord

You are within your etiquette rights to decline the baby.

I think it's rude that the guest made the assumption on the reply card rather than calling to ask but she may be oblivious.

I wouldn't decline the baby, personally, but that's me.

My cousin wasn't allowed to bring her baby to a wedding in our family, so she boycotted and we still hear about it 10 years later, though. It came up while I was planning my wedding.

CrazyCatLady3

a13049 said:

laurynm84 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

I am not a parent, but my friends that breast feed do not give their children formula. Now, I believe at  6 months old, children can start on solid foods, and many women go back to work around this time or earlier.  

Also, it's not your concern where she breast feeds her child. If she is comfortable to do it at the table, so be it.  Most likely she'll go into another room, but she really shouldn't be asked to do it somewhere else.  Women have the right to breastfeed their children in public, it's a law (at least in my state.)

I appreciate the info, but I disagree with this point. This is not in public; it's a private event.  If I walked into a Starbucks and someone was BFing in the open I wouldn't say or do anything about it and could just leave, but I would have a problem if it was at my event and it was making my other guests uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for all the info everyone.  I am going to think it over and may stick to my guns and risk the decline because there are other people coming without their LOs who might be annoyed about the exception.  And in general I am just uncomfortable around babies and don't want to be thinking about it at the wedding.

If you allow a breastfeeding child (you certainly don't have to) you don't get to tell the parent where to do it. If you welcomed me to your event and the told me to go to another room because you didn't want to see that I would lose a massive amount of respect for you and you would lose my wedding gift to you. If you want a adult only wedding with no babies then knock yourself out. I'll be the first one to support that. But don't tell nursing mothers where they can feed their kids. I

I agree, if you decide to invite her as a bf mother with her baby, don't be rude and tell her where she can and can not bf. if you invite her and you aren't comfortable with her feeding at the table, very politely offer another accomodation. Don't force it on her and definetly don't ban her to bf in the bathroom. Your comment comes off very rude and judge of BF mothers IMO You comment about this isn't public is MY event, is just another way of sayings " but it my day/wedding/party" so you can control everyone. You have a choice, allow her to bring her baby and let her bf as she chooses or tell her politely that your event is adults only and she can not bring her baby. In nicer words of course. As for your other guests getting mad, well most parent understand the difference in bringing their baby and then bringing an older child.

Yes, gauging from the reactions here I decided to keep to the no baby rule. [And I wouldn't "ban her to the bathroom;" I would offer the bridal suite] but in general this is just another issue I don't want to have to deal with.  

Feel free to flame me, but I don't think it's polite to BF at the dinner table at an event where you don't know every guest at the table and their level of comfort with that.  [Yes I realize that this may be an unpopular opinion, but I feel that courtesy and respect concerning BFing needs to go both ways.]  So if there's the possibility that she would be super-offended by that, I'd rather have her be less offended by merely telling her we are not having babies at the event.  

PrettyGirlLost

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Yes, gauging from the reactions here I decided to keep to the no baby rule. [And I wouldn't "ban her to the bathroom;" I would offer the bridal suite] but in general this is just another issue I don't want to have to deal with.  

Feel free to flame me, but I don't think it's polite to BF at the dinner table at an event where you don't know every guest at the table and their level of comfort with that.  [Yes I realize that this may be an unpopular opinion, but I feel that courtesy and respect concerning BFing needs to go both ways.]  So if there's the possibility that she would be super-offended by that, I'd rather have her be less offended by merely telling her we are not having babies at the event.  

I think that would be a very nice thing to offer.

Jen4948

If you don't want to invite the baby, you are not required to do so.  My own opinion is that if you really don't want her to breastfeed her baby in the presence of your guests, just don't invite the baby.  But be prepared for them to decline the invitation.

CrazyCatLady3

PrettyGirlLost said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Yes, gauging from the reactions here I decided to keep to the no baby rule. [And I wouldn't "ban her to the bathroom;" I would offer the bridal suite] but in general this is just another issue I don't want to have to deal with.  

Feel free to flame me, but I don't think it's polite to BF at the dinner table at an event where you don't know every guest at the table and their level of comfort with that.  [Yes I realize that this may be an unpopular opinion, but I feel that courtesy and respect concerning BFing needs to go both ways.]  So if there's the possibility that she would be super-offended by that, I'd rather have her be less offended by merely telling her we are not having babies at the event.  

I think that would be a very nice thing to offer.

It appears that some would be offended by such an offer because it would be telling them not to BF where they want.  

banana468

CrazyCatLady3 said:

a13049 said:

banana468 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

laurynm84 said:

CrazyCatLady3 said:

Can 6 month olds also be given formula from time to time without it being a big deal?

I wonder if I let her come with the baby if she would BF at the table or go to another room to do it?  I would think she would know to go to another room but aren't there major social media wars started when a woman starts BFing at a table in the restaurant, someone complains, and the woman gets defensive that she shouldn't be asked to feed her baby somewhere else.

I am not a parent, but my friends that breast feed do not give their children formula. Now, I believe at  6 months old, children can start on solid foods, and many women go back to work around this time or earlier.  

Also, it's not your concern where she breast feeds her child. If she is comfortable to do it at the table, so be it.  Most likely she'll go into another room, but she really shouldn't be asked to do it somewhere else.  Women have the right to breastfeed their children in public, it's a law (at least in my state.)

I appreciate the info, but I disagree with this point. This is not in public; it's a private event.  If I walked into a Starbucks and someone was BFing in the open I wouldn't say or do anything about it and could just leave, but I would have a problem if it was at my event and it was making my other guests uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for all the info everyone.  I am going to think it over and may stick to my guns and risk the decline because there are other people coming without their LOs who might be annoyed about the exception.  And in general I am just uncomfortable around babies and don't want to be thinking about it at the wedding.

If you allow a breastfeeding child (you certainly don't have to) you don't get to tell the parent where to do it. If you welcomed me to your event and the told me to go to another room because you didn't want to see that I would lose a massive amount of respect for you and you would lose my wedding gift to you.

If you want a adult only wedding with no babies then knock yourself out. I'll be the first one to support that. But don't tell nursing mothers where they can feed their kids.

I

I agree, if you decide to invite her as a bf mother with her baby, don't be rude and tell her where she can and can not bf. if you invite her and you aren't comfortable with her feeding at the table, very politely offer another accomodation. Don't force it on her and definetly don't ban her to bf in the bathroom. Your comment comes off very rude and judge of BF mothers IMO

You comment about this isn't public is MY event, is just another way of sayings " but it my day/wedding/party" so you can control everyone. You have a choice, allow her to bring her baby and let her bf as she chooses or tell her politely that your event is adults only and she can not bring her baby. In nicer words of course. As for your other guests getting mad, well most parent understand the difference in bringing their baby and then bringing an older child.





Yes, gauging from the reactions here I decided to keep to the no baby rule. [And I wouldn't "ban her to the bathroom;" I would offer the bridal suite] but in general this is just another issue I don't want to have to deal with.  

Feel free to flame me, but I don't think it's polite to BF at the dinner table at an event where you don't know every guest at the table and their level of comfort with that.  [Yes I realize that this may be an unpopular opinion, but I feel that courtesy and respect concerning BFing needs to go both ways.]  So if there's the possibility that she would be super-offended by that, I'd rather have her be less offended by merely telling her we are not having babies at the event.  

It is fine too offer the suite. It's not fine to force it. DH and I were at his family's for Easter and there were 3 breastfeeding babies there. Not once did I see any portion of mom.

I "get" your opinion but frankly unless the mom is just sitting there with nips exposed, you'll need to get over it. That's just a part of life and moms should not be asked to go to a different room because others can't handle it. That's an issue that the other people have and THEY should be the ones to remove themselves.

That said, having no babies at all is more than fine and the parents need to accept that.

Maggie0829

I agree with Banana.  Offering the suite would be fine.  "Hey Sue if you would feel more comfortable please feel free to use the bridal suite when you need to feed Little Johnny."  But you can't force it.  it is up to the Mom what she feels most comfortable with.  Not you.  But offering, in no way, is rude.