Wedding Etiquette Forum

Introducing divorced parents for reception

So I've found many discussions on this topic but none really answer my problem.  So my parents are divorced, but my mom kept my dads last name.  How do I properly announce them?

Re: Introducing divorced parents for reception

  • Depending on how formal your wedding is, could you just use their first names? "And here are the parents of the bride, Jane and John"? Another option is not announcing them by name and just saying they are your parents. 
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  • So I've found many discussions on this topic but none really answer my problem.  So my parents are divorced, but my mom kept my dads last name.  How do I properly announce them?
    It depends. Is your dad re-married? 

    If he's not, you could just have them introduced as, 'And now, the parents of the bride, Mr. Dad Surname and Ms. Mom Surname.' (Or Mom first, then Dad).

    The separate surnames (should) alert people that they're no longer married.

    If your dad is re-married, I'd do it, 'And now, the parents of the bride, Ms. Mom Surname and Mr. Dad Surname, accompanied by his wife, Mrs. StepMom Surname.'

    Fundamentally, the introductions aren't to say who is married to whom, but merely who begat whom -- whether they're still married or not, they're still your parents, you know?
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Do you need to introduce your parents? Can't you skip it if its going to create a potentially awkward situation?
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  • Or just don't announce them at all if it's going to be difficult.
  • I am in the exact same situation. My parents divorced, Mom never changed her last name, Dad remarried.

    I still have over a year to go, but I'm dreading the invites. I plan to just state "together with their families" since we are paying for about 50%, my Mom 25%, Dad 25%. Grooms parents are not contributing. I feel that it will be a sticky situation because I know my parents will make an issue about not being included on the invitation since they are partially hosting. I hope they just drop it so I don't have to include 3 lines of names on my invite. Did you have any invite issues?

    To answer your question, I agree with HisGirlFriday.

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  • phiraphira member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Another vote for "Don't announce them." Lots of wedding traditions only really work within the context of the "perfect nuclear family." Given that so many of us have families that don't fit into that framework (i.e. two happily married parents, maybe siblings, and everyone gets along), many traditions just are too much work and not worth it.

    If you do feel the need to announce your parents, announce them one set at a time (e.g. one parent + partner/escort, then other parents + partner/escort). Announce your parents using first and last names, and don't have your mother referred to as Mrs Hislast (she's not "Mr's," so she's Ms Hislast).
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    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • I would just announce them by their first names only. 
  • We are not planning on announcing anyone. In fact, FI and I will already be in the reception room when everyone arrives. That way there is no awkward putting people on the spot.
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    eyeroll
  • I've actually never seen parents of the bride and groom announced...presumably people figured out who they were by watching them get seated during the procession before the ceremony.

     

    But I also HATE introductions.  FI and I will be introduced at our reception because there's not really a way around that, but our families and wedding party will not be announced.  The wedding party is listed in the cermeony program, and it's pretty obvious who they are given that they're all wearing similar outfits and were the ones standing next to us during the ceremony, so it doesn't seem necessary. 

     

    I'd vote to just not do it if that's an option for you.

  • I should add, btw, that only DH and I were introduced into our reception. Everyone else -- BMs, GMs, my parents -- just went into the reception area during the cocktail hour. 

    We didn't want to introduce EVERYONE in the WP because that's just long and tedious, and also most of our WP members would have felt uncomfortable about that.

    My parents, who hosted the reception, did give a short welcome toast, and my mother introduced them, basically saying, 'Hello, everyone, for those of you who don't know us, we're Dad and Mom HisGirl, and we're so thankful you could all join us today as we welcome DH into the family, blah, blah, blah.' (I actually don't remember what my mom said -- isn't that terrible?)

    Not introducing your parents is totally do-able.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • We did announce everyone in the bridal party and we thought it was long and fun. Parents were introduced first.... and then the bridal party did fun things with golf carts as they were introduced... I'd do it again..

     For his divorced parents - we did them one at at a time by couple. "The mother of the groom Firstname Lastname"  and then after, the "Father and Step-Mother of the Groom  Firstname and Firstname  Last name"

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  • ashleyepashleyep member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    If you want to announce them, do it separately. That gets the point across that they're not married. My FI's parents are divorced, so for the program, I'm putting them on separate lines:

    Parents of the Bride:
    Bob and Sally Brown

    Parents of the Groom:
    Jane Doe
    John and Janet Doe

    I'll do similary with introduction Probably something like @muppetoverlord put:

    "Mother of the groom, Jane Doe, escorted by Her BF's Name" and
    "Father and step-mother of the groom, John and Janet Doe"

    That's how it was done at one of FI's step-siblings weddings anyway. Step-mom and her ex were announced separately.

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  • I have not seen the parents being announced at a reception.  This is what receiving lines are for.
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  • All the weddings I've been to have had the parents introduced. I agree with PP, if a set of parents is divorced, you introduce them separately. 
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  • Why do they need to be announced or "introduced" ?

    But if you're going to do this, you make the announcements or introductions separately.
  • Announce them separately.
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  • bpeeples928bpeeples928 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
    TilaT25 said:

    I am in the exact same situation. My parents divorced, Mom never changed her last name, Dad remarried.

    I still have over a year to go, but I'm dreading the invites. I plan to just state "together with their families" since we are paying for about 50%, my Mom 25%, Dad 25%. Grooms parents are not contributing. I feel that it will be a sticky situation because I know my parents will make an issue about not being included on the invitation since they are partially hosting. I hope they just drop it so I don't have to include 3 lines of names on my invite. Did you have any invite issues?

    To answer your question, I agree with HisGirlFriday.

    On my invites we didn't specify names, we simply said "Brandy and Michael along with their parents..."
  • Thank you everyone for the input.  I think we are going to go with using first names only.
  • I was at a wedding this weekend where they announced "The parents of the bride: Ms Jane Smith, and Mr John Smith and Mrs Jackie Smith." It was clear who was whom and nobody got offended.
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  • My fiance's parents are divorced and I'm not planning on having parents introduced at all. Of course I also planning on saying "together with their parents" on the invitation and my mother got really upset so I added the names in.

  • We're not planning on introducing ANYONE into the reception, us included. We're planning to be able to attend about half of the cocktail hour (after pictures are done), and then will make our way into the reception with the rest of the guests. We're planning to kick it off immediately with 1 or 2 toasts; we'll make sure the people giving the toast introduce themselves. (We'll do our first dance after dinner is over, as a way to kick off the dancing.)
  • We didn't announce parents at our reception.
    My parents are divorced (my mom kept his last name because it was still my last name), and my dad remarried.

    Invitations were:

    Mrs. Mom'sFirstName Mom'sMaidenName Mom'sMarriedName
    Mr. Dad'sFirstName Dad's LastName & Mrs. StepMom'sFirstName Stepmom'sMarriedName

    So like:

    Mrs. Jane Doe Smith
    Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Sally Smith

    Request the honor of your presence...

    The grooms parents didn't need to be on their since they weren't hosting.


    We did have all the parents in the program, as they all processed before the wedding party. Next to their name I just had "Mother of the Bride" "Step-mother of the Bride" etc.
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