Children in support of PPDs

MobKaz

nebullama said:

I will never understand how couples can go through with this, and I would be really curious to know how they feel about it when it is all over. I mean they get married, a solemn, joyous, life changing event, and convince themselves it means nothing. Then they put on a grand play, doing things that have already been done, promising things that have already been promised, coming out the other side exactly as they were before, all the while telling themselves and everyone else that this is what means something. How do you do all that without feeling like you have cheapened and degraded your own union? I don't think I'd be able to get over feeling like I had cheated myself out of something beautiful.

If they are so adept at lying to those they love, I would assume they are equally skilled at kidding themselves as well.

a13049

CMGragain said:

Not your fault.  We go through this on the Knot every few month when newbies come in and don't understand.  We have to review it every so often.  It doesn't help that the wedding industry and TV shows think it's just precious!  Of course, it is a way for them to make more money $$$$.

I'm so glad you were able to educate us "newbies". That's totally why this constantly comes up.

iloveotters2014

I have only ever seen so called "PPD's" on television. No one I have ever met would ever spend a ton of money on a "fake" wedding. It's all over these forums though, so how is this possibly occurring so much to warrant this much discussion?!?

Now i have been to vow renewals before. Which I think are very romantic and sweet. and I hope my guy will want to say his vows to me again 10-20 years down the road

CMGragain

It tends to happen more often with military brides, but others try it, too.   There is always an excuse attached.  Since most of the ladies in my family were married in private ceremonies, the idea that it wasn't good enough is offensive.  Some of them were military, too.
A real wedding is a bride, a groom, an officiant, a license and legal witnesses.
I also think vow renewals are sweet.  No problem with them at all.

Gerbertmcway

PPDs don't affect anyone except the bride and groom unless they are lying to their guests. In that case, the problem is the lying, not the PPD. Saying you think it's a waste of money is silly because you can argue that most weddings are a waste of money. People waste money on all sorts of things. I just don't understand why many people get so worked up over what others do. It literally does not affect your life in any way for someone to have a second wedding.

CMGragain

If you consider a marriage ceremony to be a sacred thing, a fake ceremony is very insulting, even sacrilegious. 
If you think a marriage ceremony is all about the white dress, bridesmaids and a big reception, then  why not have a PPD every year?  It isn't that special!
I am insulted by PPDs.  Not by proper vow renewals, though.  It's all about the big dress, isn't it?

PS.  My grandmother had a second wedding - of course, she was widowed before she had it.  Second weddings are only possible if you either divorce your husband, or he passes away.

photokitty

CMGragain said:

I got bashed for telling a bride not to wear her wedding dress for her celebration party, over on invitations last week.  Lots of newbies told the married lady to go ahead and wear her wedding dress for her celebration party.  Where were you guys when I needed you?

I'm anti ppd, but you want to have a well hosted celebration of your marriage and wear the dress you got married in...go for it. It's just a dress and quite frankly I'd like to see it. If guests shouldn't be told what to wear...well...

To me, the wife wearing her dress is a victimless crime if everyone knows she's a wife and is there celebrate the existing marriage.

Gerbertmcway

CMGragain said:

If you consider a marriage ceremony to be a sacred thing, a fake ceremony is very insulting, even sacrilegious. 
If you think a marriage ceremony is all about the white dress, bridesmaids and a big reception, then  why not have a PPD every year?  It isn't that special!
I am insulted by PPDs.  Not by proper vow renewals, though.  It's all about the big dress, isn't it?

PS.  My grandmother had a second wedding - of course, she was widowed before she had it.  Second weddings are only possible if you either divorce your husband, or he passes away.

How do you feel about a "PPD" that does not include a ceremony?

crunchymamaof2

The key words here being "if everyone knows they're already married." If it's truly that important or necessary to get married right then and there then it should be important enough to tell your loved ones. Not telling them says you just want the attention and presents. Seriously, if saying your vows in front of family and friends, or in a church, or whatever, wherever is super important to you as a couple , than it shouldn't matter what others think. Tell them the truth, if it's truly about the moment people knowing shouldn't lessen that. At least then you'll know everyone is there out of love towards you and their own free will versus risking losing their respect when they find out the lie.

crunchymamaof2

Oh and if getting your marriage blessed by your church is that important than it's safe to assume you're a religious couple. So by not telling everyone you're starting your marriage off on a lie, which is pretty damn hypocritical especially of someone who is that religious.

saacjw

photokitty said:

I got bashed for telling a bride not to wear her wedding dress for her celebration party, over on invitations last week.  Lots of newbies told the married lady to go ahead and wear her wedding dress for her celebration party.  Where were you guys when I needed you?

I'm anti ppd, but you want to have a well hosted celebration of your marriage and wear the dress you got married in...go for it. It's just a dress and quite frankly I'd like to see it. If guests shouldn't be told what to wear...well... To me, the wife wearing her dress is a victimless crime if everyone knows she's a wife and is there celebrate the existing marriage.

That's how I feel. My best friend and her fiance are planning a small courthouse thing with their immediate family and then a big party sometime later. If she decides to wear the same dress to the party, I won't think twice about it, because why not reuse a dress? They aren't doing any wedding reception things, no first dance, no cake cutting (probably no cake even, she's never been a fan), etc, but I just don't see the problem wearing the dress again. 

larrygaga

wrigleyville said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

Too bad nobody did that with you.

mrs4everhart

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far. 

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about. 

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live. 

mrs4everhart

nebullama said:

I will never understand how couples can go through with this, and I would be really curious to know how they feel about it when it is all over. I mean they get married, a solemn, joyous, life changing event, and convince themselves it means nothing. Then they put on a grand play, doing things that have already been done, promising things that have already been promised, coming out the other side exactly as they were before, all the while telling themselves and everyone else that this is what means something. How do you do all that without feeling like you have cheapened and degraded your own union? I don't think I'd be able to get over feeling like I had cheated myself out of something beautiful.

Tell you what, I'll inform you all about how wonderful it was when I get back from Mexico! I don't see separating the legal and ceremonial aspects as cheapening or degrading a darned thing. It's going to be joyous, beautiful, heartfelt, and all the other adjectives one would use to describe their wedding. Because you wouldn't find doing it that way as meaningful certainly doesn't mean others wouldn't. I can't imagine accepting Jesus Christ as my savior but it doesn't mean I can't comprehend how others have a true and emotional attachment to the sentiment. What's true and meaningful to one can be laughable and useless to another. 

DaisyMaeMommy

A lot of people I know think PPDs are a great idea, and everyone should have one, blah blah blah.

I'll still claim them as my family, but the instant they claim I need to have a PPD to save some money, I'm disowning them.

pinkshorts27

A PPD I heard of that I was okay with was my friend's parents. They were married in the courthouse to escape a country that was persecuting them. Then, after they were able to escape, they held a traditional Vietnamese "wedding" (basically all the wedding stuff minus the legal) to celebrate their marriage and celebrate living through that and surviving. 

Everyone knew they were married. They didn't lie.  People may disagree with me and I'm okay with that. But it wasn't because it was too inconvenient to wait or do things properly. The mother would have died if she didn't get out of her country. 

Sugargirl1019

My hairstylist is on her PPD right now. Her situation just really bothers me. She was legally wed in the courthouse back in August. She changed her name on Facebook to his last name, but continued to post about how excited she is to have the wedding of her dreams, to be married to the man of her dreams, so excited to be a bride..

I am just so judgmental about it all. You were married back in August! Shut up! You are a wife, not a bride! He is your husband for the past 8 months!! Her posts really got to me.

jdluvr06

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far. 

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about. 

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live. 

This is a bit off topic but another thing that pisses me off is when people assume their DW is going to be an awesome vacation for their guests. I hate DWs simply because I hate having to use vacation days from work to go to a place that someone else has selected.

SP29

@Gertbertmcway I would argue that isn't a PPD, UNLESS the married couple is announced for the first time, has a first dance, feeds each other cake, or registers for wedding gifts.

PPD= re-enacting your wedding (which is in fact the ceremony. Wedding= bride + groom + officiant + witnesses, not white dress, flowers, cake, dancing). PPD= not cool. 

In fact, it is quite insulting to those who had small private weddings. My grandparents were very poor when they got married. They got married at city hall. My grandfather wore a suit of sorts and my grandmother wore a blush pink skirt and jacket (very office secretary like- no big white dress). They exchanged simple bands- my grandmother did not have a flashy diamond engagement ring. I don't think there were many people there, and I have seen 1 photo from the event. 

However, my grandparents have been married for 54 years! 

Don't get me wrong, I love weddings, and I like nice things. But by saying that a small ceremony (if that is all the couple can do at the time because they want or need to get married NOW) is insulting. My grandparents had a wedding and since then have had a marriage, no hoopla needed. 

However...

Throwing an awesome party for your friends and family at a later date in celebration of your marriage= Rock on! 

At such an event, the hosts can and should greet their guests upon entry, and even introduce guests to each other (a receiving line of sorts). The hosts of the party can open the dance floor (but this would not be the bride and groom's first dance), and they can also cut the cake (but would not feed it to each other as this represents the first meal- and hosts serve their guests first before themselves). One could have all the food, drinking, dancing and dessert they want- because that is not what makes a wedding a wedding, that's a party. Invite me anytime!

I really don't care if a woman wears her wedding dress again, but some might, as it is associated with a wedding. I doubt I would wear my dress somewhere again because I would feel out of place, unless a bunch of other women showed up in their wedding dresses, but I do think that it is just a dress and one might as well get some use from it! 

crunchymamaof2

STBMrsEverhart said:

nebullama said:

I will never understand how couples can go through with this, and I would be really curious to know how they feel about it when it is all over. I mean they get married, a solemn, joyous, life changing event, and convince themselves it means nothing. Then they put on a grand play, doing things that have already been done, promising things that have already been promised, coming out the other side exactly as they were before, all the while telling themselves and everyone else that this is what means something. How do you do all that without feeling like you have cheapened and degraded your own union? I don't think I'd be able to get over feeling like I had cheated myself out of something beautiful.

Tell you what, I'll inform you all about how wonderful it was when I get back from Mexico! I don't see separating the legal and ceremonial aspects as cheapening or degrading a darned thing. It's going to be joyous, beautiful, heartfelt, and all the other adjectives one would use to describe their wedding. Because you wouldn't find doing it that way as meaningful certainly doesn't mean others wouldn't. I can't imagine accepting Jesus Christ as my savior but it doesn't mean I can't comprehend how others have a true and emotional attachment to the sentiment. What's true and meaningful to one can be laughable and useless to another. 

If that were truly what you were doing (separating the civil and religious ceremonies) then there again would be no need to lie. There would be nothing wrong with saying "please join us for our spiritual/religious ceremony. We want to share our vows with all of you guys," plus, as you've said, you DGAF what people think or say, so at least by telling them the truth they really can choose to come based on the actual circumstances, not the ones you've made up. I'd bet many would still come if they knew the truth, ( otherwise I'm sure many would be upset once finding out your lie )

MobKaz

STBMrsEverhart said:

nebullama said:

I will never understand how couples can go through with this, and I would be really curious to know how they feel about it when it is all over. I mean they get married, a solemn, joyous, life changing event, and convince themselves it means nothing. Then they put on a grand play, doing things that have already been done, promising things that have already been promised, coming out the other side exactly as they were before, all the while telling themselves and everyone else that this is what means something. How do you do all that without feeling like you have cheapened and degraded your own union? I don't think I'd be able to get over feeling like I had cheated myself out of something beautiful.

Tell you what, I'll inform you all about how wonderful it was when I get back from Mexico! I don't see separating the legal and ceremonial aspects as cheapening or degrading a darned thing. It's going to be joyous, beautiful, heartfelt, and all the other adjectives one would use to describe their wedding. Because you wouldn't find doing it that way as meaningful certainly doesn't mean others wouldn't. I can't imagine accepting Jesus Christ as my savior but it doesn't mean I can't comprehend how others have a true and emotional attachment to the sentiment. What's true and meaningful to one can be laughable and useless to another. 

Sounds like your wedding theme.

Simply Fated

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats.

I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far. 

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about. 

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live. 

If that last sentence was true, then you'd tell people the truth so they can decide whether or not to attend your wedding reenactment in Mexico.

rsbloom

Both my FI's uncles did this.  Exact reasons, they are both military and wanted the benefits earlier!

The first brother lives on the opposite coast, and the whole family flew out for this "wedding. " He even had my FI's dad SIGN A FAKE MARRIAGE LICENSE at the "ceremony" to make it seem legit.  Then, his wife let it slip at the reception that they had gotten married MONTHS ago.  They then tried to explain to the pissed off family members that they did it for tax benefits.  

Despite seeing how pissed off his family was, the younger brother thought it was a great idea and secretly married his wife right after he proposed and then started planning the big PPD. Again, they lied about it, and everyone was pissed when the beans were spilled. 

I don't mind vow renewals or receptions later if there is a time constraint, like a military member being deployed or family illness, but most people do it because they want the gifts and money.

mrs4everhart

jdluvr06 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far. 

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about. 

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live. 

This is a bit off topic but another thing that pisses me off is when people assume their DW is going to be an awesome vacation for their guests. I hate DWs simply because I hate having to use vacation days from work to go to a place that someone else has selected.

Why would you "have" to? Do you view an invitation as a summons? If anyone invited doesn't want to go for whatever reason, that's what the decline line on the RSVP card is for. I can't imagine begrudgingly going anywhere for a wedding. But, in our case anyway, if we were to stay home for our wedding, it would be a destination for most of our VIP's anyway. We live in CO. Much of our families live on the east coast. And the feedback we've received about the destination has been positive or more than positive, bordering on downright giddy. So I think this a "know your crowd" type thing more than making false assumptions about what people consider fun. 

mrs4everhart

mobkaz said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

nebullama said:

I will never understand how couples can go through with this, and I would be really curious to know how they feel about it when it is all over. I mean they get married, a solemn, joyous, life changing event, and convince themselves it means nothing. Then they put on a grand play, doing things that have already been done, promising things that have already been promised, coming out the other side exactly as they were before, all the while telling themselves and everyone else that this is what means something. How do you do all that without feeling like you have cheapened and degraded your own union? I don't think I'd be able to get over feeling like I had cheated myself out of something beautiful.

Tell you what, I'll inform you all about how wonderful it was when I get back from Mexico! I don't see separating the legal and ceremonial aspects as cheapening or degrading a darned thing. It's going to be joyous, beautiful, heartfelt, and all the other adjectives one would use to describe their wedding. Because you wouldn't find doing it that way as meaningful certainly doesn't mean others wouldn't. I can't imagine accepting Jesus Christ as my savior but it doesn't mean I can't comprehend how others have a true and emotional attachment to the sentiment. What's true and meaningful to one can be laughable and useless to another. 

Sounds like your wedding theme.

Themes are for children's birthday parties. Since we choose to remain happily child free, I guess I'll never have the opportunity to pull off Jr's "Lies & Deception Cake Filled Extravaganza." Dammit, that sounds like fun! Little 007-type favors, spies, mystery, intrigue!!!! 

*Stuck in this damn box. And I don't like it!

mrs4everhart

Simply Fated said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far. 

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about. 

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live. 

If that last sentence was true, then you'd tell people the truth so they can decide whether or not to attend your wedding reenactment in Mexico.

That's great you have this theory you seem to have, but somewhere above I reiterated the simple fact, this is about information control, not other people's opinions. It's super easy to comprehend. Some may not agree, and others would choose to do things differently, but I don't see how controlling information is a hard concept to follow.

I'll make a comparison or two: If a woman finds out she's pregnant and then wants to wait to roll out the news in a certain way, or wants to wait until she's a certain amount of time along before announcing she has information she's controlling for some specific reason. Can people actually be butthurt that she had the audacity to walk around pregnant without informing them since the moment she peed on the stick? No, of course not. 

Here's another - My Mom was being tested for Multiple Myeloma back in March. She didn't want to tell me until she had a confirmed diagnosis. But she did tell her sister. Her sister told her son, my cousin, not thinking in a million years he'd reach out to me. In an epic bean-spilling text message he did reach out to me and therefore my poor Mom's attempt at controlling information failed. Was I mad at her? No. Did I and do I still believe she had every right to control her personal information and the dissemination of it as she saw fit? Of course I do. Was there an omission? Obviously. Am I butthurt? Not at all. 

Viewing things the way we do wouldn't be possible for some people. That's ok. But I think it's a really easy concept to wrap one's head around, regardless of being favor of it or not. 

APDSS22

STBMrsEverhart said:

jdluvr06 said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

Simply Fated said:

Yea, making children bitter and miserable, and unsure how to spend their own (future) money THAT'S THE TICKET!

No. It's important to teach children how to save their money and budget it for something they really want. It shouldn't be that hard to not raise entitled spoiled brats. I understand you don't like gossiping, but please explain to me, in detail, how your plan will avoid people gossiping about you.

Well, for starters, there's nothing to gossip about. Here's how it will go: Intended guests will receive their invitation in the mail. Intended guests will discuss the pros and cons of going on vacation to Mexico with their prospective travel partner. Intended guests will decline if he/she/they cannot afford to go, don't want to, whatever. No gossip so far. 

If intended guests do decide to go, he/she/they make travel plans, go on a rad vacation, attend a ceremony that lasts less than twenty minutes then are subsequently hosted at a wonderful reception, their vacation then resumes shortly thereafter. Also, nothing to gossip about. 

If at any time someone finds something to gossip about, let them. Living life afraid of the opinions and words of others is not a way I choose to live. 

This is a bit off topic but another thing that pisses me off is when people assume their DW is going to be an awesome vacation for their guests. I hate DWs simply because I hate having to use vacation days from work to go to a place that someone else has selected.

Why would you "have" to? Do you view an invitation as a summons? If anyone invited doesn't want to go for whatever reason, that's what the decline line on the RSVP card is for. I can't imagine begrudgingly going anywhere for a wedding. But, in our case anyway, if we were to stay home for our wedding, it would be a destination for most of our VIP's anyway. We live in CO. Much of our families live on the east coast. And the feedback we've received about the destination has been positive or more than positive, bordering on downright giddy. So I think this a "know your crowd" type thing more than making false assumptions about what people consider fun. 

But they're not attending a wedding.  They're attending a play you're putting on where you and your husband "get married."  I don't care if you're calling it "information control" you're lying to people about what they're shelling out money to attend.  If you think any of them wouldn't want to attend if they knew it wasn't the ceremony by which you got married, then you're manipulating your "loved ones". 

I would never want to treat people I care about in such a way, but if you don't care enough about them to be honest with them, then you can deal with the consequences when they find out.  Which will happen eventually because you've told someone and you can't guarantee that they'll never get drunk and mention that you were already married or go without sleeping for a long enough period that they start spilling all their secrets to random strangers.

And if any of your guests you're not telling are from the states, you're putting a lot bigger burden on them to get them to Mexico vs. CO (passport, customs, language barrier, etc.)  So the fact that they'd be traveling from either of the coasts to CO would be much easier in many ways than getting from their house to Mexico to see your "special day".  Even if they live in Alaska, it's easier to get to CO than Mexico.

DaisyMaeMommy

This is how I feel when I read some of these conversations on here. They can be great entertainment, especially when someone is arguing that their PPD (or cash bar, honeymoon fund, etc etc) isn't rude because of XYZ.

chibiyui

DaisyMaeMommy said:

This is how I feel when I read some of these conversations on here. They can be great entertainment, especially when someone is arguing that their PPD (or cash bar, honeymoon fund, etc etc) isn't rude because of XYZ.

I love any reason to post popcorn gifs. 

[Deleted User]

Original reason for this thread was, I believe, about children being okay with PPDs because they believe everyone deserves the wedding they always dreamed about.  I just want to say that of course children believe everyone deserves to be a princess for a day.  They can't anticipate any reason why a wedding would have to happen without all the decorations and trimmings.  I don't think we have to try to convince children about the error PPDs other than to say that it's not nice to lie to family and friends.  Just don't lie.  If you don't lie to me and end up getting married in an unfancy wedding and start talking to me about planning the big fancy thing, I'll (as your good friend or family member who you are not lying to) be able to convince you that a redo is a lie to the rest of your friends and family and instead you should just throw a kickass party minus the aisle and vows and lies.