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Assigning someone to usher or sit at the guest book table

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Re: Assigning someone to usher or sit at the guest book table

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    ShallowSeasShallowSeas member
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    Seriously? When people see a book and pen, they will know its a guest book and will sign their name. Most weddings have guestbooks so its something they're going to be looking for when they first walk in. Same with programs.  I don't understand why people think they need to have someone up there making sure guests do these things.


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    berrynuttyfarmberrynuttyfarm member
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    People on this board are just rude period. I've seen many, many rude responses to other peoples' posts. Not just mine. I'm not a diva, so apparently I'm on the wrong website.
    I don't really care if people think guest book attendants are rude or faux pas or whatever. The people who are at my wedding will expect someone to be doing it. That's just how it is where I live. And I'm sure as heck not going to leave a custom made print (that we are using as a guest book) sitting on the table unattended.
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    bmydesignerbmydesigner member
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    OP, I manned the guest book at my brother's wedding. I was the first person that all the guests encountered, and I got to see and talk to every one of them. I was sort of the welcoming committee and had a fun time with it! Since I knew just about every person who was coming, it worked out well. I would feel uncomfortable doing it for a friend though since I likely wouldn't know many of the guests.
    For my wedding in August, I WILL be having a guest book attendant. We are not having a traditional guest book though. We are having something like this (see link below), so it will need to be manned to insure that it doesn't get knocked around/damaged/etc and to make sure that people actually sign it.
    Being an usher is an honor. I'm having my 2 brothers and they will be dressed just like the groomsmen.
    I am also having someone man the gift table (maybe one of my nieces). I think it's important that it be watched and secure.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/90717303/unique-wedding-guest-book-custom?ref=sr_gallery_4&ga_search_query=fingerprint+heart+guest+book&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
    *SIB* There's security you can hire for that, don't make family do this. FFS.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    berrynuttyfarm said:
    People on this board are just rude period. I've seen many, many rude responses to other peoples' posts. Not just mine. I'm not a diva, so apparently I'm on the wrong website.
    I don't really care if people think guest book attendants are rude or faux pas or whatever. The people who are at my wedding will expect someone to be doing it. That's just how it is where I live. And I'm sure as heck not going to leave a custom made print (that we are using as a guest book) sitting on the table unattended.
    So if everyone jumped off a cliff at the end of the wedding you would do it as well because that is just how things are where you live?

    And I have been to a lot of weddings with custom made prints or big pictures of the bride and groom surrounded by a mat for people to sign and never has a guest vandalized the picture.  Why?  Because adults are smart and realize that doing something like that would be wrong.

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    xiaopeapodxiaopeapod member
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    I agree, I'm really shocked at all the backlashes OP or anyone of similar opinion are getting for this. Maybe it is only an Asian/Chinese thing, but I also had close ones manned and accepted gifts at the reception table in my wedding. The same goes to an Indian wedding and a Japanese wedding I have attended, not to mention countless Chinese ones. I have always assumed it is the norm because love ones assigned to such roles usually felt honored. Going through these boards, it surprises me how often it is seems rude to involve families and friends in anything. Even when said families and friends volunteered and offered to do something.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    xiaopeapod said:
    I agree, I'm really shocked at all the backlashes OP or anyone of similar opinion are getting for this. Maybe it is only an Asian/Chinese thing, but I also had close ones manned and accepted gifts at the reception table in my wedding. The same goes to an Indian wedding and a Japanese wedding I have attended, not to mention countless Chinese ones. I have always assumed it is the norm because love ones assigned to such roles usually felt honored. Going through these boards, it surprises me how often it is seems rude to involve families and friends in anything. Even when said families and friends volunteered and offered to do something.
    To the bolded, if someone volunteers or offers their help then I am all for taking that person up on their offer IF it is really something that you need help with.  If it isn't then I am a fan of the "thanks so much but I just want you to relax and enjoy the day" line.

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    PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
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    berrynuttyfarm said:
    People on this board are just rude period. I've seen many, many rude responses to other peoples' posts. Not just mine. I'm not a diva, so apparently I'm on the wrong website.
    I don't really care if people think guest book attendants are rude or faux pas or whatever. The people who are at my wedding will expect someone to be doing it. That's just how it is where I live. And I'm sure as heck not going to leave a custom made print (that we are using as a guest book) sitting on the table unattended.
    Oh here we go. . . .

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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    xiaopeapodxiaopeapod member
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    edited April 2014
    Referencing the thread in general:
    Maybe everyone's stressed out from all their wedding planning, hence the tendency to use harsh words or be overly critical of each other? I honestly have seen brides suggested worst things, like having a fake wedding, that truly deserves everyone's reprimand. But I really am disappointed to see so much negativity around here in general. Weddings are stressful to plan and I thought that fellow members would be more supportive of each other given that we have all been through it or are going through it.

    Edited for clarification.
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    mbross3mbross3 member
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    wrigleyville said:
    @berrynuttyfarm - You can't MAKE someone sign a thumbprint guestbook, especially since many people will be turned off at the idea of sticking their thumb in ink while wearing nice clothes. Additionally, some people don't like the idea of having their fingerprint preserved like that.
    Totally agree @wrigleville! I always turn down the thumbprint guest books. Not only do I not want ink all over my hands, but I also don't want people to have access to my fingerprints! 

    OP came on here and stated outright that she knew that most people found this behavior to be rude. It is not rude to disagree with someone, something most PP shouting "rude" seem to be missing. What is rude is to come on these boards, ask a question, and then tell people how they can answer! That's not how it works! 

    If the majority of internet strangers from all over the world are saying that your proposed actions are rude, then it is likely that you are planning something rude! Whether or not you choose to follow the advice of the ladies on this board is up to you--but I find that generally they are very wise, blunt and honest, but wise. 
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    xiaopeapodxiaopeapod member
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    edited April 2014

    wrigleyville said:



    OP came on here and stated outright that she knew that most people found this behavior to be rude. It is not rude to disagree with someone, something most PP shouting "rude" seem to be missing. What is rude is to come on these boards, ask a question, and then tell people how they can answer! That's not how it works! 

    If the majority of internet strangers from all over the world are saying that your proposed actions are rude, then it is likely that you are planning something rude! Whether or not you choose to follow the advice of the ladies on this board is up to you--but I find that generally they are very wise, blunt and honest, but wise. 
    It is completely fine to disagree with something and state your opinion, especially when asked. OP came on here and posted this, so she's obviously open to everyone's opinion. I guess I am just not used to all the bluntness as you call it. People can still say wise things and be polite more about it.

    Anyway, GL to everyone. I'll just go back over to the Bump forums. All the hormonal mother-to-be's over there are extremely supportive of each other. If you are expecting or plan to be, see you over there. :)
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    CamiSeleneCamiSelene member
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    I would never "assign" someone to do that job. I had a cousin who asked me to do this at his wedding once while I was also entertaining his brother's kid. I was super put off! However, if someone were to offer, then that is different. My 6 year old cousin is my flower girl and her 10 year old sister asked me if she could sit at the guest book table for the cocktail hour to help (I was surprised but I think she just wanted to be part of the wedding in some way too) so I told her she certainly could but to feel free to abandon it if she gets bored. I have a feeling she'll meet some of my FI's female cousins that are her age and will want to hang with them.

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    JCBride2014 said:
    AddieCake said:
    Are you inviting people to your wedding who might draw penises or mustaches on your picture or something? That's why you can't leave it unattended? If so, you need to hang out with a better class of people.
    Well, they're in high school, so.... this might be a valid concern.

    Teen bride isn't the one who said that, though! Otherwise, I would totally agree!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
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    Once when I was a kid a family member died and for some reason at the funeral it was decided I would be in charge the guest book. I was like 8. I could not get people to sign that damn thing if I were giving away free cake with it! I was very frustrated. I was in charge of people signing the book and they wouldn't sign the freaking book! And if they did, they wouldn't even talk to me! It was very annoying. So no, guest book manager is not an honor.

    AddieCake said:
    Are you inviting people to your wedding who might draw penises or mustaches on your picture or something? That's why you can't leave it unattended? If so, you need to hang out with a better class of people.
    She might not have those people coming but I could see my friends doing it! Well maybe not on the picture but near it, totally. Especially after a few drinks. And I would laugh at them so so hard.

    We are thinking of having a doing a mirrored mat that you sign with a special pen that engraves right onto the mirror. Since it requires a special pen we're thinking of having my brothers (who are ushers) coach the first few people through how it works, and then letting word of mouth instruct the others. 
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    pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    Did you ever watch the SATC episode where they spoke about how guarding the guestbook is such a crappy task to be given at a wedding? And it's true. First off, I would probably just sit there and not tell grown adults to sign a book, and polish off drinks because I would be dying of boredom at such a mundane task. Adults know to sign a guestbook, and they won't if they don't want to, no matter who is guarding the table.

    And there is no way I would leave my fingerprints around. I watch way too much Discovery ID for that. I also had to get fingerprinted at my job, and I would not feel comfortable leaving them anywhere else.
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    carliealissacarliealissa member
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    berrynuttyfarm said:
    People on this board are just rude period. I've seen many, many rude responses to other peoples' posts. Not just mine. I'm not a diva, so apparently I'm on the wrong website.
    I don't really care if people think guest book attendants are rude or faux pas or whatever. The people who are at my wedding will expect someone to be doing it. That's just how it is where I live. And I'm sure as heck not going to leave a custom made print (that we are using as a guest book) sitting on the table unattended.
    Uhmmm, why not?  What's going to happen to it??  People are going to vandalize it because it's custom made?  So confused...

     

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    APDSS22APDSS22 member
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    Friends of ours got married and had a custom "guest book" that was a picture of them from their engagement session for everyone to sign instead of the traditional book.  They left it out on a tree stump (outside wedding) with a bunch of sharpies and had family spread the word about where it was located.  No babysitter necessary, people signed it no problem, and no vandalism occurred.  No one tucked it up under their jacket and tried to make off with it.

    You don't need a guest book sitter.  It's one thing to invite someone to be part of your ceremony with an honor position like bridesmaid, groomsman, usher or reader.  They get to be part of your ceremony, picked out as important people in your life and honored as such.  If you want to force one of your loved ones to sit next to a guest book telling grown adults how to use one instead of mingling as they would like, that's your prerogative.  You should probably heed the fact that so many people on here think it's a bad idea and have sat by the book anyway for love of the wedding couple.  But we can't force you to reconsider if you're determined.
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    lc07lc07 member
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    MagicInk said:
    I feel like as an adult if I was left in charge of the guest book I'd probably just sit there, get drunk, plan on my phone and then write dirty jokes in the damn book. Because I was drunk. Or I would oversell. Hello! I'm Fiona! Welcome to the guest book! Let me tell you what you gotta do here, first this is a pen. Whose used a pen before? Yes? You have? Excellent! What we want to do is remove the cap from the pen, is everyone with me so far? Good good! Alright now we want to point the pen so this little tippy part here is at the bottom, now place the pen against the page and begin to write. Does anyone need any help?
    Nope. I don't think you even get to do that. Whenever I've seen a guestbook/gift book attendant there is no chair provided. Double whammy of awful.
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    CamiSeleneCamiSelene member
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    severmilli12 said:
    berrynuttyfarm said:
    People on this board are just rude period. I've seen many, many rude responses to other peoples' posts. Not just mine. I'm not a diva, so apparently I'm on the wrong website.
    I don't really care if people think guest book attendants are rude or faux pas or whatever. The people who are at my wedding will expect someone to be doing it. That's just how it is where I live. And I'm sure as heck not going to leave a custom made print (that we are using as a guest book) sitting on the table unattended.



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    @severmilli12 LOVE the Jenna Marbles reference!!

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    kitty8403kitty8403 member
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    edited May 2014
    Jen4948 said:
    berrynuttyfarm said:
    OP, I manned the guest book at my brother's wedding. I was the first person that all the guests encountered, and I got to see and talk to every one of them. I was sort of the welcoming committee and had a fun time with it! Since I knew just about every person who was coming, it worked out well. I would feel uncomfortable doing it for a friend though since I likely wouldn't know many of the guests.
    For my wedding in August, I WILL be having a guest book attendant. We are not having a traditional guest book though. We are having something like this (see link below), so it will need to be manned to insure that it doesn't get knocked around/damaged/etc and to make sure that people actually sign it.
    Being an usher is an honor. I'm having my 2 brothers and they will be dressed just like the groomsmen.
    I am also having someone man the gift table (maybe one of my nieces). I think it's important that it be watched and secure.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/90717303/unique-wedding-guest-book-custom?ref=sr_gallery_4&ga_search_query=fingerprint+heart+guest+book&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery
    Security should be hired to do that-not asking a guest to do it.
    I wouldn't trust something as important as a table full of wedding gifts to my niece! Of course, she's a child. That's a job for an adult -- or, you know, a room or car with a lock?
    I see no problem with asking someone to be an usher, as long as there is more going on than just handing people programs. An "usher" should be escorting people to their seats, offering directions/information, and participating in the ceremony, if there is a relevant role (ie, if you're doing a ring warming or something else is getting passed among the guests.) It's a quick, extremely helpful job that ends before the reception starts and doesn't tie anyone up all night.
    None of those things are true about gift table or guest book attendants.  
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    Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 member
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    Oh my goodness.

    BINGO!

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