Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR:Graduation Party before the graduation ceremony

AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
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edited April 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
What are your personal thoughts on attending a Graduation Party before the person even Graduates?
Update: Got off the phone with my parents to figure out his graduation gift. She told me that my cousin planned a graduation trip. He thought if he could have his party earlier, the money he assumed he would be given, would be used to help fund his trip with his group of friends for their cruise. My mom is very disappointed in her nephew.

Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

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Re: NWR:Graduation Party before the graduation ceremony

  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
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    I think it's really bad. I got an invitation for one and graduation is weeks away.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • Are we talking like a couple days before - where the whole thing is completed and graduation is just a formality? Or weeks before the graduation?
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  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
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    PDKH said:

    Are we talking like a couple days before - where the whole thing is completed and graduation is just a formality? Or weeks before the graduation?




    Stuck in the box
    Weeks before.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • Unless the graduate is leaving for the military or a two year mission trip the day after graduation, it sounds sketchy to me.
    s-aries8990
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
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    It's a bit premature if finals haven't happened yet. So, I'd find it a bit weird. Depending on how bitchy I'm feeling I might put a check dated the day after the actual graduation ceremony in the card. Or an I.O.U. 

    I mean, shit happens people. 
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    Anniversary
  • This isn't as bad as graduations that are scheduled before finals. This was the case for my high school boyfriend; their commencement ceremony, with the caps and gowns and everything, occurred a week before their finals even started. What do you do if you fail all your finals?! Tell your family "Oh hey, sorry but... you'll have to come back next year."

    As far as grad parties that occur before the graduation, I've heard of it. I guess it's not the biggest thing I side-eye, especially if school is out, finals are over, and it's clear that the person IS graduating.
  • Not weird at all. Many programs at the university I attended (including the one I just completed) require a 600 hour internship that is often far from where the university is. It's also common for the internship site to hire on the student for full-time employment immediately after the hours are completed, so most students participate in commencement the semester BEFORE they officially 'graduate,' I did this, and I was able to be a much better host because I lived in the area at the time, could offer people a place to stay and was there to plan. I didn't officially receive my degree until after I completed my internship.
  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
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    Part of it seemed money grabby to me. School is still in session up until a day or two before the graduation ceremony. It's just awkward that the party is next Saturday but the graduation ceremony is in the middle of June. I'm also attending the ceremony.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    Not weird at all. Many programs at the university I attended (including the one I just completed) require a 600 hour internship that is often far from where the university is. It's also common for the internship site to hire on the student for full-time employment immediately after the hours are completed, so most students participate in commencement the semester BEFORE they officially 'graduate,' I did this, and I was able to be a much better host because I lived in the area at the time, could offer people a place to stay and was there to plan. I didn't officially receive my degree until after I completed my internship.




    It's high school not college.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
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    scribe95 said:

    So what is the reason for having the party so early?

    I was told it was "easier and more economic to get the party out the way" than to wait.

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
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    AlexisA01 said:
    So what is the reason for having the party so early?
    I was told it was "easier and more economic to get the party out the way" than to wait.
    Now that is weird. My HS graduation is on a Sat. All grad parties were friday, sat, or sunday.  None were before Friday.  

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  • We did mine a week before graduation because more of my family was coming in town for something else and it made more sense to do it then because they wouldn't be coming back for the actual graduation ceremony (the other thing was a bigger deal). I was not the only one who did it then because the weekend before graduation was Memorial Day weekend, so it worked for more people. It was after finals though since seniors would take finals before everyone else and then had a week off before graduation, so everyone knew they had passed and were graduating the next weekend. I don't think I'd think it was weird a week or so before, especially if classes weren't in session or there's something bringing people in from out of town, but several weeks before seems like a stretch. 
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  • I see this from time to time and it doesn't faze me.  In our smaller town if you are renting a place you'd better rent it early because they fill up crazy fast.  We hosted one of our kids open house at our house and said never again, the rest we rented a place.

    DS's friend is having hers 2 weeks early, I am fine with it.  There is no doubt she will graduate and early open houses happen around here quite a bit.
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
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    Both my high school and college graduation ceremonies were the week before finals (but I also graduated in December and finals ended like 3 days before Christmas). A week or two doesn't seem like a big deal. A month or 6 weeks seems odd. My parties were the day of graduation since ceremonies were in the morning or afternoon.
  • I'll bite. We did this.
    I caught mono senior year and missed so much schoolwork that I needed to make it up over the first part of the summer (private schooling). But we knew my grades were such that I would graduate once I turned in those last assignments and I already had college plans for the fall. So I was allowed to go watch my friends get their diplomas, and we hosted a small party the same weekend so we could all celebrate graduation together before everyone went their separate ways.
    That being said, nobody saw me "walk" or get honored at a ceremony till college. There is a trade off.
  • I wouldn't side eye it. Depending on whether it is high school or graduation, sometimes everyone's graduation parties end up on the same day and then you can't attend other peoples parties. I think spreading it out is never a bad thing.

    Also, sometimes places book out fast, so if it is at a venue of some sort, it might just happen to be when it was free due to demand.

    I think sometimes we just "look for problems" that aren't there.
  • Graduations are a zoo. If it's more convenient for the family to celebrate someone's graduation to host it before hand, then fine by me. I think most students know by April if they're going to graduate or not. 

    I had a graduation pool party back in the day before graduation night, and no one brought any gifts. Not everyone is gift grabbing. Some people actually just like a reason to get together and celebrate a milestone, ya know?
  • I dunno. It seems weird to me. For both HS and college, my final grades were in well before graduation, so I knew I was graduating, but we still did the parties after the actual ceremony.

    I don't think it would bother me enough to not go or side-eye it, but I'd be a little curious.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
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    I dunno. It seems weird to me. For both HS and college, my final grades were in well before graduation, so I knew I was graduating, but we still did the parties after the actual ceremony. I don't think it would bother me enough to not go or side-eye it, but I'd be a little curious.
    It's my cousin's side of the family. They have a have a habit of breaking etiquette rules and doing off things and this event has me and my siblings side eyeing the whole thing. It's just awkward to have the family at the graduation party at the start of May then again all the way in mid June when the Ceremony happens right after school ends. 

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

  • My graduation party was the week before the ceremony. Most of the high schools in my area graduated the same weekend and it was nearly impossible to find somewhere after wards so we did it before.
  • I think it's completely ridiculous. Like holding the wedding reception before the wedding ceremony.
    What if something happens... the student fails their finals or it turns out they're short credits? Do they get a graduation party redo?
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  • I think it's fine. My college only does one graduation ceremony a year, regardless of when you actually finish your classes and finals.

    For example, several of my friends finished their degrees in December, but can't walk until May with everyone else. So, I'd be fine going to a graduation party before their graduation.

    Most of them are waiting, because graduation parties in New England in February aren't generally appealing, and you can't rent a bounce house in a snowstorm.
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
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    Okay follow-up question.  How serious are your graduation parties?

    In my circle/area, they tend to be open houses that family and friends are invited to. Apps and soda is hosted at the person's house and there are pictures up around the house, sometimes a slideshow playing in the background. Wine/beer hosted for adults/family. 

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    chibiyui
  • For us they aren't serious affairs at all. You make food, and there's a fridge/coolers full of beer and whatever else happens to be brought over. My family loves to eat so we bring dishes to each other's parties. Mainly so that someone who sucks at making desserts doesn't have crappy cake at their party. We just love cooking for each other!
    pinkshorts27chibiyui
  • Okay follow-up question.  How serious are your graduation parties?


    In my circle/area, they tend to be open houses that family and friends are invited to. Apps and soda is hosted at the person's house and there are pictures up around the house, sometimes a slideshow playing in the background. Wine/beer hosted for adults/family. 
    A mix of different stuff. It totally depends on a few things.

    In my family, graduation parties are just lunch or dinner after the ceremony with whoever attended the ceremony.
    Mostly graduation parties in my area/circle are backyard bbqs with family and friends.
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    pinkshorts27
  • AlexisA01AlexisA01 Dubai, my royal playground. member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Okay follow-up question.  How serious are your graduation parties?

    In my circle/area, they tend to be open houses that family and friends are invited to. Apps and soda is hosted at the person's house and there are pictures up around the house, sometimes a slideshow playing in the background. Wine/beer hosted for adults/family. 
    Our family gets together for special events such as family reunions, graduations, etc. Many of my family lives overseas in Iran. So we get together with friends and have great food and drinks to those who drink. 

    Live fast, die young. Bad Girls do it well. Suki Zuki.

    pinkshorts27
  • Do I think it's weird? A bit, tbh. But I would probably still go.

    Not sure I agree with the whole "if you know you are going to graduate, it's okay" theory- just based on my own experience. In my senior year, I pulled straight A's, so it looked like I was a shoe-in to graduate. I wound up getting so sick (bedridden essentially), that I missed the final weeks of grade 12, including the exams I needed to take to be eligible for graduation. It's never 100% guaranteed until the diploma is in your hands.

    I get my B.A in a few weeks, but I'm not celebrating until after convocation, even though it'll be a hectic time afterward. Shit happens, and there are never guarantees
    AlexisA01
  • Come to think of it (not that my aunt would have parted with ANY $$ to have an open house for me but I digress) I graduated on a Sunday evening and the following Friday morning I was in an airplane bound for Basic Training.  Other stuff does compete with graduation from time to time.  Then again, I grew up outside a ginormous AF base and the question was only "are you going to college" OR "are you going in the military"
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
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    I guess my "graduation party" is happening before my official graduation, too.  Fi and my sister are organizing to have some friends over for dinner the Saturday night before graduation.  I don't know too much about it besides to keep myself free, but I think it's one of those casual "hey let's get a drink!" things.  We had to do it that day because my grad is on a random weekday, and people are leaving town the next weekend.

    But everyone will be finished with finals for like two weeks at that point.  I would side-eye a high school grad party, or any grad party, before finals.  Plus, the graduate is going to hate a party like that too!  You leave your grad party and then go home to study?  Boo!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches the Northern Plains member
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    In my area, high school graduation open houses tend to take place over the month of graduation. It allows the kids to go to more of their friends' parties instead of being stuck at their own. I believe we did mine the week before graduation and my brother's was the week before his graduation, perhaps two?

    At any rate, no parties take place after the day of the graduation ceremony.
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