So many levels of wrong

SmileDamnit

Purity Balls (<< clicky)...have you heard of them?

Am I the only one who is a little (lot) creeped out? Want to vow abstinence? Go for it! But having "Daddy as your boyfriend" is just NOT okay. At all. Ever. 

What the actual fuck?????

HisGirlFriday13

Yep, I've heard of 'em.

Yep, I think they're freaky as hell.

Yep, I'm a whole lot of creeped out by them.

KGold80

Gross.

chibiyui

Yep. All kinds of fucked up.

Remember girls, the only thing that matters is your hymen!

JennyColada

Omg. I thought these were physical balls to represent purity and you are giving that physical gift in representation.

This topic had a very different (and confusing) meaning to me.

JCbride2015

Yeah, this is wrong on all kinds of levels and I think it's really damaging to the daughters.

Anybody else catch the "Wait for your Prince Charming to come along" comment?  Way to reinforce fairy-tale expectations.

Barf.

JennyColada

Shit. If I have a daughter, I want her to have as much sex as she wants! Be sexy, be happy, live your life how you want. If that involves not fucking, then cool. If that involves fucking, also cool. I'm just happy that you're happy.

That's how I was raised and I think I came out ok.

smalfrie19

ewwww...ewwww...ewww

theartistformerlyknownas

Wow. Yeah maybe should have chosen a different word than "balls." lol

JennyColada

lolo883 said:

Wow. Yeah maybe should have chosen a different word than "balls." lol

I'm going to be crass, but:

Just keep the shaft out of it!
If it's just the balls then it's still pure.

PrincessOfHavoc

Eww. That just creeps me out. Daddy as boyfriend/dictator is gross to me, and I'm an admitted Daddy's Princess. Plus, I have only seen them with the holier than thou types and I'm not on the side of holier than thou automatically equals purity.

Add in they seem dangerous. The quiverful movement scares the daylights out of me - breed until your uterus self implodes and have your older daughters raise all their siblings. Great idea. Next are we going to honor killings? No, I'm really not sarcastic there. I can see that happening already. Look up the Hana Williams case.

Couggal12

EW. Also, nice way for them to add in that hashtag.

#purityballs is that trending on social media now?

kaos16

Jennycolada said:

Omg. I thought these were physical balls to represent purity and you are giving that physical gift in representation. This topic had a very different (and confusing) meaning to me.

Me too!

DaisyMaeMommy

I read the story... And this was my reaction as I continued to read... I was NOT expecting a Princess-type ball. Ew.

phira

I cannot staaaaand purity culture. Like, I am 100% for not having sex until you are ready to have sex. But wow, is purity culture damaging.

VulgarGirl

I went to a school that was big on purity pledges and I know of a few girls who went to purity balls. According to the rumor mill in high school, there was still plenty of stuff that they did. Plenty. 

They always grossed me out. You know what my dad did to "protect" my virginity. Not a fucking thing because it was my virginity to do what I wanted with it. He educated me (as best he could, the man knows very little about lesbian sex, but god love him he tried), he taught me to love myself, he talked with me about the emotions that go along with sex, and then he trusted me to make my own decisions. 

Of course, there are no purity balls for young men. No mommies protecting their little boys virginity because of course not. Because boys will be boys and boys will think about sex and want sex and even have sex and that is all totally fine. They are boys. It is allowed. Girls need to be protect from becoming giant whores though. In fact if a boy has sex, it is the girls fault for tempting him. 

This whole "daddy protecting his little girl" bullshit pisses me off. Purity balls, the pictures of dads waiting for the first day with guns, all of it. Your little girl is a capable human being able of making her own decisions and protecting herself. Your raised her that way!!!

I am more thankful that my father raised me to be a strong adult rather then his little princess than I ever have been. 

gladyscf

I'm kind of glad I clicked the link because that is not what I thought it was going to be about. 

However, I could have gone longer not knowing that that kind of thing existed.

Emmy1493

To add. I misread the article. I thought the young girls gave balls to their dad for safekeeping. Not balls, like princess balls. 

jdluvr06

Oh just ick.

chibiyui

JCBride2014 said:

Yeah, this is wrong on all kinds of levels and I think it's really damaging to the daughters.

Anybody else catch the "Wait for your Prince Charming to come along" comment?  Way to reinforce fairy-tale expectations.

Barf.

So, I watched Frozen for the first time the other night, and freaking love how they skewered the whole Prince Charming thing.

SBmini

I'd love for them to do a follow up to see how many of these girls ended up pregnant at 16. It's sad that a father would rather give a girl a ring to shut her up about sex than take the time to explain what it is, when it should happen, and how to be safe. 

ShallowSeas

ShallowSeas

kaos16 said:

Jennycolada said:

Omg. I thought these were physical balls to represent purity and you are giving that physical gift in representation. This topic had a very different (and confusing) meaning to me.

Me too!

Glad I'm not the only one. The title can be taken so wrong...

jenna8984

Yup I've heard about it before and always thought it was absolutely creeptastic.

You know what the funny thing is- don't kids always want to "rebel"? My parents never once talked to me about sex, birth control,bj's, emotions, waiting or any of it. And I turned out to be prudey mcprude- the only one of all my friends to graduate high school a virgin & the only one to graduate college without a one night stand. I somehow developed all these morals and pretenses about sex on my own without anyone telling me (and my friends telling me the opposite).

wandajune6

Yuck.

I wasn't raised with any purity talk. I was just told to wait until I met someone I loved and was prepared for the consequences. They even went so far as to refer to things that could be "fixed" (pregnancy, some STDs) and things that can't be (AIDS era, herpes, etc.).

While I definitely had my crazy periods, those waited until I was old enough to be prepared for the consequences - and much older than a lot of people.

RebeccaB88

The main thing I have against purity movement stuff is that it's all sexist. It only puts the responsibility for purity on the girls.  There's nothing that holds the guys to the same standards. So in essence, they're saying it's ok for the guys to go out and get laid and get the experience, but then go find a 'good girl' to marry. It perpetuates the 'madonna and the whore' complex, so when the good girl has a houseful of kids with him, he can't see her as being sexy and desirable anymore, and goes looking for that elsewhere. He does that because he was conditioned that it's ok.

That and my sex life (or lack of it) isn't any of my parents' business.  I learned the mechanics of sex from Glamour magazine, and figured out the morals and beliefs I had about it myself. And I'm ok.

FutureMrsN3312

My mind automatically saw balls and thought like the ones in 50 shades...silly silly me...

B0320

Gross - "daddy is my boyfriend" is a phrase that would have any normal person calling Child Protective Services.

jdluvr06

I just told my mom about this and she cracked upped. She thinks it is the craziest thing ever. My mom has always been really liberal about sex so doing something like that is just unthinkable for her. I'll never forget when I was 16 and my mom sat me down to have another sex talk (she did it once a year with each of us and changed it to suit our current age). This was the first sex talk where she brought up marriage and her exact words were "remember when the time comes for marriage it is important that you and your partner are compatible in every way. So if you want to wait until after the wedding that is perfectly fine but wouldn't rather know what you were getting yourself into?"

grumbledore

Jennycolada said:

Shit. If I have a daughter, I want her to have as much safe sex as she wants! Be sexy, be happy, live your life how you want. If that involves not fucking, then cool. If that involves fucking, also cool. I'm just happy that you're happy. That's how I was raised and I think I came out ok.

FTFY.  And I agree.

PrincessOfHavoc

Oh I knew about them years ago. My state has a BIG one. In my graduating class, 3 girls had taken the pledge that I know of (and they must share the info far and wide). 2 of them had children by graduation, one was pregnant for the second time at graduation.

@ MagicInk and Rebecca have it right. Icky. My dad's version of sex ed was bag it up and don't go letting crazy in you or putting you in crazy in my brother's lecture. But hey, we all got the same lecture.