RSVP regret

KGold80

So I simply could not convince my FI that proper RSVP cards were better than online RSVPs. He didn't see the point in spending the extra money for cards, envelopes, postage, etc. It wasn't a hill I was willing to die on, so invites went out with online RSVPs (through wedding website, but we included my email and phone number as options) on Tuesday. I have already received an email RSVP and had to email back regarding their dinner selections. I instantly regretted going the online route, but can't do anything about it now obviously. It may be silly, but I think it would have been more exciting to get the responses by mail and honestly, I think we are going to get a slower response and probably fewer responses than we would have if we had used cards. I keep having people tell me that they got our invite, but they did not immediately go to the website and RSVP whereas I think most would have filled out the card and mailed it back if they were sure they could come. I'm just kind of sad that I compromised on this.

QueerFemme

I'm sorry you are sad. I think your fears about not getting responses is pretty much likely. Just make sure you have plenty of time to call people.

MobKaz

KGold80 said:

So I simply could not convince my FI that proper RSVP cards were better than online RSVPs. He didn't see the point in spending the extra money for cards, envelopes, postage, etc. It wasn't a hill I was willing to die on, so invites went out with online RSVPs (through wedding website, but we included my email and phone number as options) on Tuesday. I have already received an email RSVP and had to email back regarding their dinner selections. I instantly regretted going the online route, but can't do anything about it now obviously. It may be silly, but I think it would have been more exciting to get the responses by mail and honestly, I think we are going to get a slower response and probably fewer responses than we would have if we had used cards. I keep having people tell me that they got our invite, but they did not immediately go to the website and RSVP whereas I think most would have filled out the card and mailed it back if they were sure they could come. I'm just kind of sad that I compromised on this.

For me, the exact opposite would be true.  When I get an evite, I will often respond immediately because I am already online.  When I have online RSVP's, I tend to do it sooner than later because I am on the computer daily.  

I take care of bills and other snail mail issues once a week.  I put any correspondence, including paper RSVP cards, into that pile, and they are dealt with when bills are paid.

I understand the "loss" at having actual cards to open and read.  My daughter looked forward to that when she married.  However, my son and his wife used an e-system for RSVP's, and they experienced no difference from the traditional system.  As other PP's have stated, responses will come in waves.  The flood typically comes just prior to the due date.  It will still be fun to check your website and see who has responded.  I think it's a bit akin to "registry stalking"; my daughter would snoop on occasion to see what was purchased.  It was almost as exciting as receiving the gifts with the exception of not knowing who made the purchase.

provocajade

Responds come in waves and really depends on your guests. I'm always online so I'll respond first to a evite than go all the way to the post office. 

Also some people are just procrastinators. At my brothers nuptials....our family was horrible about RSVPing. I can expect the same from the same side of the family for mine that you have to RSVP chase them no matter if it's paper, email, wedding website, honing pigeon following them around squaking until they send him back. Whereas my friends are awesomely punctual about responses. 

KGold80

Just to clarify...I did not send out evites. I sent paper invitations and the RSVP info was included on a separate insert.

I've now received a handful of RSVPs and only one did so via email.

thenewmrsq

OP, I know exactly how you feel! Sent my invites out April 20th, included my email, phone number, and wedding website to RSVP with, and then got very anxious/nervous when I didn't hear back from anyone for 2 weeks. At all. Not even my parents. Then, on week 3, I literally got 50 responses in 3 days. We've still got a ways to go (we invited 297 total), but I realize that people have to make plans and clear work schedules, etc. so I've calmed down a little bit!  We're at 60 so far, and my cousin, who did paper RSVPs, wasn't anywhere close to that high of a percentage regarding responses within 3 weeks of sending out her invites!