My FI has a daughter, whom I really adore. She's a great kid and I'm excited to have her be part of our family. That being said, I don't think I want children at the wedding. On one hand I want this to be a family event- I love FI's family and am excited to be a part of it and vice versa- but I also kind of want this day to just be about us. I would love ideas of how to reach a happy medium where she can either be there and I don't have to invite everyone's kids or she doesn't attend the wedding/ reception but we do something to make her feel a part of it (not just the wedding but what it all means, etc.)
If it comes down to it, my relationship with her is more important than having kids at the wedding or the day exactly how I want.
As a note, she will be a bit old to be a flower girl at the time of our wedding (10 or 11) and I really don't like the idea of Junior Bridesmaids.