XP: RSVP Date

tcnoble

We are getting married 3/28/2015 but are scoping out websites for deals on invites, so trying to have our details nailed down.

Our venue requests a "soft" attendance count 30 days in advance (which would be February 26th), final count 10 days before. I'm struggling with our RSVP date - should it be February 20th (to allow for calling non-RSVPers) or should we push it back to March something, and just give them an educated guess on February 26th based on what we have/have not received at that point? Thoughts??

MyNameIsNot

You don't want your RSVP date more than a month before the event.  It's too far and you'll have people changing their responses.  Ideally, your final RSVP date should be 2-3 weeks ahead of the wedding.  

Since you don't need your final count until 10 days before, I'd put your RSVP date at about 14-17 days out, enough to put it on a Friday.  

You'll have enough early responses and VIP info that you can give a soft count 30 days out just fine.  

HisGirlFriday13

Pick the March date.

Our RSVP date was Sept. 25 for an Oct. 13 wedding. We had probably 80% of our RSVPs by six to eight weeks before our wedding. People were really good about getting them back to us.

Your soft numbers are just that -- soft. You can always add to them but you can't go lower than whatever your soft numbers are.

tcnoble

March RSVP date it is. Thanks for the insight ladies!!

ashleyep

When your soft count is due, give them the number of people you invited. We're sending our invites out in a few weeks and that number is *still* in flux. 

huskypuppy14

ashleyep said:

When your soft count is due, give them the number of people you invited. We're sending our invites out in a few weeks and that number is *still* in flux. 

No, you don't want to over estimate because she'll probably have to pay for that many people. Give an educated guess based on the responses you have and who you know will come.

Our wedding is a little over 5 weeks away, and my RSVP date is the end of next week, and we have probably 80%+ of our responses back. 

HisGirlFriday13

ashleyep said:

When your soft count is due, give them the number of people you invited. We're sending our invites out in a few weeks and that number is *still* in flux. 

Nooooo! We invited 152 people. We had to give 'soft' numbers to our venue a month out, and at that point, based on our RSVPs, I knew the max number attending would be 110, assuming everyone left who hadn't responded responded affirmatively, and I knew that that was unlikely.

In my experience, both with my own wedding and with my friends' weddings, people who knew as soon as they got the STDates that they couldn't attend mail back the RSVPs really early -- we got a slew of 'no' responses in the first 10 days after invites went out. 

It's the people who want to come but aren't sure they can because of work or whatever who typically wait longer.

But do not OVER estimate your soft count, because most places won't let you lower it.

ashleyep

ashleyep said:

When your soft count is due, give them the number of people you invited. We're sending our invites out in a few weeks and that number is *still* in flux. 

Nooooo! We invited 152 people. We had to give 'soft' numbers to our venue a month out, and at that point, based on our RSVPs, I knew the max number attending would be 110, assuming everyone left who hadn't responded responded affirmatively, and I knew that that was unlikely.

In my experience, both with my own wedding and with my friends' weddings, people who knew as soon as they got the STDates that they couldn't attend mail back the RSVPs really early -- we got a slew of 'no' responses in the first 10 days after invites went out. 

It's the people who want to come but aren't sure they can because of work or whatever who typically wait longer.

But do not OVER estimate your soft count, because most places won't let you lower it.

I think you're right. For some reason I thought it was the other way around - I thought that most places don't let you add *more* because they've already added food at that point.

But yeah, obviously deduct any "nos" you get at that point.

Maggie0829

ashleyep said:

ashleyep said:

When your soft count is due, give them the number of people you invited. We're sending our invites out in a few weeks and that number is *still* in flux. 

Nooooo! We invited 152 people. We had to give 'soft' numbers to our venue a month out, and at that point, based on our RSVPs, I knew the max number attending would be 110, assuming everyone left who hadn't responded responded affirmatively, and I knew that that was unlikely.

In my experience, both with my own wedding and with my friends' weddings, people who knew as soon as they got the STDates that they couldn't attend mail back the RSVPs really early -- we got a slew of 'no' responses in the first 10 days after invites went out. 

It's the people who want to come but aren't sure they can because of work or whatever who typically wait longer.

But do not OVER estimate your soft count, because most places won't let you lower it.

I think you're right. For some reason I thought it was the other way around - I thought that most places don't let you add *more* because they've already added food at that point.

But yeah, obviously deduct any "nos" you get at that point.

Places will almost always let you add to your guest count cause that means more money in their pocket.