dinner seating

VulgarGirl

MagicInk said:

Maggie0829 said:

I am now really interested in the reason why a seating chart is just not going to happen.  I know you don't want to disclose it but I really cannot for the life of me think of a reason that is so important that a seating chart would be such a huge no-no.

This is pretty much where I am. Are there people offended by having seating charts? Did someone get in a vicisious fight at another wedding about where they were sitting and now they are banned in the family? Seriously, I'm coming up with some pretty creative idea of what went down. Including someone possibly being offended by poster board...

That said a king's table/head table is fine and dandy and I agree teenagers would probably rather not sit with their parents.

When I was a teenager I liked being with my parents and my Mom, even though we argued a lot because that is what teenage daughters and their Mothers do, was and still is my best friend.  So yeah, not all teenagers don't want to sit with their parents.

Good point. I liked hanging with my parents (still do, they're pretty cool) but when there were other teenagers around, I wanted to go hang with them. Even if it was just my brothers. Actually especially when it was them because I'm older then both of them and would convince them to do bad things because I am evil. Or I'd use there cuteness to get extra food/sweets/ect for us to share. Again, evil.

littlemushroom

I have a bunch of people in my circle that HATE assigned tables/seats.  

My parents got seated with family of the bride (not the MOB and FOB that they were close to) that they barely knew, and the rest of their close friends were at a different table far away from where they were.  It was meant as an honor, but they wanted to sit with their friends (2 other couples) and couldn't. Instead they were stuck at a table full of people who otherwise knew each other, and were the odd ones out.

At my BFF's wedding, there were a bunch of no shows, and two friends were at a table by themselves since the other 6 people didn't show up.  They didn't want to move to another table because of the assigned tables, and ended up leaving super early.

At several other weddings I have been to other guests were jerks and ignored the table assignments, causing people who were trying to follow the seating plan to have nowhere to sit. All they knew was their seats were occupied at the assigned table, and they didn't know what tables would now have empty seats.

Many people in my circle would much rather have open seating rather than any assignments because things like that happen all the time with assignments.

QueerFemme

We had open seating. Everyone found a seat with the people they wanted to sit with and we had excess seating. We had a small table just for the two of us. I think if you include anyone else in the "reserved" seating area other than just your children, you risk being really offensive.

Sugargirl1019

I think you may go with a head table, even a head table for 3, and put little signs on the back of the chairs. Mr., Mrs., "little man" or whatever a nickname might be. Since you are insistent with open seating but one reserved table, I think this could do it. Everyone will know it's yours, and nobody would get the impression that they should be looking for an assigned seat (because all the other chair backs are empty).

Viczaesar

Maggie0829 said:

MagicInk said:

Maggie0829 said:

I am now really interested in the reason why a seating chart is just not going to happen.  I know you don't want to disclose it but I really cannot for the life of me think of a reason that is so important that a seating chart would be such a huge no-no.

This is pretty much where I am. Are there people offended by having seating charts? Did someone get in a vicisious fight at another wedding about where they were sitting and now they are banned in the family? Seriously, I'm coming up with some pretty creative idea of what went down. Including someone possibly being offended by poster board...

That said a king's table/head table is fine and dandy and I agree teenagers would probably rather not sit with their parents.

When I was a teenager I liked being with my parents and my Mom, even though we argued a lot because that is what teenage daughters and their Mothers do, was and still is my best friend.  So yeah, not all teenagers don't want to sit with their parents.

Same.

Istoleahalo

MagicInk said:

MagicInk said:

Maggie0829 said:

I am now really interested in the reason why a seating chart is just not going to happen.  I know you don't want to disclose it but I really cannot for the life of me think of a reason that is so important that a seating chart would be such a huge no-no.

This is pretty much where I am. Are there people offended by having seating charts? Did someone get in a vicisious fight at another wedding about where they were sitting and now they are banned in the family? Seriously, I'm coming up with some pretty creative idea of what went down. Including someone possibly being offended by poster board...

That said a king's table/head table is fine and dandy and I agree teenagers would probably rather not sit with their parents.

When I was a teenager I liked being with my parents and my Mom, even though we argued a lot because that is what teenage daughters and their Mothers do, was and still is my best friend.  So yeah, not all teenagers don't want to sit with their parents.

Good point. I liked hanging with my parents (still do, they're pretty cool) but when there were other teenagers around, I wanted to go hang with them. Even if it was just my brothers. Actually especially when it was them because I'm older then both of them and would convince them to do bad things because I am evil. Or I'd use there cuteness to get extra food/sweets/ect for us to share. Again, evil.

LOL  True... I always loved being with my dad...but my OCD mother was another thing.  I loved her (still do!!) but she (still) tries to control/dictate everything so I hated sitting next to her ("You need to eat another bite of your meat, you had two bites of corn in a row" -- and that was just the other day and I'm 36!  haha)

Istoleahalo

NikkiJay3333 said:

I have a bunch of people in my circle that HATE assigned tables/seats.  

My parents got seated with family of the bride (not the MOB and FOB that they were close to) that they barely knew, and the rest of their close friends were at a different table far away from where they were.  It was meant as an honor, but they wanted to sit with their friends (2 other couples) and couldn't. Instead they were stuck at a table full of people who otherwise knew each other, and were the odd ones out.

At my BFF's wedding, there were a bunch of no shows, and two friends were at a table by themselves since the other 6 people didn't show up.  They didn't want to move to another table because of the assigned tables, and ended up leaving super early.

At several other weddings I have been to other guests were jerks and ignored the table assignments, causing people who were trying to follow the seating plan to have nowhere to sit. All they knew was their seats were occupied at the assigned table, and they didn't know what tables would now have empty seats.

Many people in my circle would much rather have open seating rather than any assignments because things like that happen all the time with assignments.

That's some of the issue here too.

Istoleahalo

Sugargirl1019 said:

I think you may go with a head table, even a head table for 3, and put little signs on the back of the chairs. Mr., Mrs., "little man" or whatever a nickname might be. Since you are insistent with open seating but one reserved table, I think this could do it. Everyone will know it's yours, and nobody would get the impression that they should be looking for an assigned seat (because all the other chair backs are empty).

It's not that I'm insistent with one reserved table, i'm just not sure what else to do with open seating...that was kind of the point of this post. 1) to see how it would be recieved and 2) if there is another option that I'm missing.  I like the chair signs

glbelou

As a wedding planner, I see weddings with just one reserved table all the time. You could also do a small table for just you, your FI and your child. There are unlimited options, and no one is going to judge you for the way you decide to seat people.

Jen4948

glbelou said:

As a wedding planner, I see weddings with just one reserved table all the time. You could also do a small table for just you, your FI and your child. There are unlimited options, and no one is going to judge you for the way you decide to seat people.

Correction: No one is going to judge you to your face for having open seating, but they may well enjoy your wedding a lot less if they are left to fend for themselves having to look for somewhere to sit or losing their seat because someone stole it from them while they happened to be away from the table.

littlemushroom

People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.

Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  

Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with.

Jen4948

NikkiJay3333 said:

People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.

Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  

Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with.

BS.  The whole point of seating assignments is to make sure everyone has a place to sit.  Anyone who tampers with the arrangements is being rude.  "Jerks will be jerks and steal seats" is not an acceptable excuse for not assigning tables.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

NikkiJay3333 said:

People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.

Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  

Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with.

BS.  The whole point of seating assignments is to make sure everyone has a place to sit.  Anyone who tampers with the arrangements is being rude.  "Jerks will be jerks and steal seats" is not an acceptable excuse for not assigning tables.

I don't think that is what she was trying to say.  She was simply stating that just because you make a seating chart does not mean that people will abide by it.  Some assholes will just sit at whatever table they want regardless of where they are supposed to sit according to the seating chart.  Is this rude of that person?  Heck yes!  But whatever way you go, assigned tables or not, people will find issues with what was decided.

In the end it really comes down to what is normal in your area, what people are use to, and apparently in OPs circumstance, what will and will not cause family drama.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

NikkiJay3333 said:

People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.

Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  

Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with.

BS.  The whole point of seating assignments is to make sure everyone has a place to sit.  Anyone who tampers with the arrangements is being rude.  "Jerks will be jerks and steal seats" is not an acceptable excuse for not assigning tables.

I don't think that is what she was trying to say.  She was simply stating that just because you make a seating chart does not mean that people will abide by it.  Some assholes will just sit at whatever table they want regardless of where they are supposed to sit according to the seating chart.  Is this rude of that person?  Heck yes!  But whatever way you go, assigned tables or not, people will find issues with what was decided.

In the end it really comes down to what is normal in your area, what people are use to, and apparently in OPs circumstance, what will and will not cause family drama.

The bolded is true, but it is not a good reason not to do assigned tables and make a seating chart.  Some people may take offense at assigned seating, but they are not understanding why seats are assigned.  It is not done to "tell people what to do" but simply to make sure that at the start of the reception, there is a place for everyone to sit.  People who would create drama over it are being rude and making things harder for everyone else, including both the hosts and the other guests.

theartistformerlyknownas

Jen4948 said: Maggie0829 said: Jen4948 said: NikkiJay3333 said: People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.
Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  
Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with. BS.  The whole point of seating assignments is to make sure everyone has a place to sit.  Anyone who tampers with the arrangements is being rude.  "Jerks will be jerks and steal seats" is not an acceptable excuse for not assigning tables. I don't think that is what she was trying to say.  She was simply stating that just because you make a seating chart does not mean that people will abide by it.  Some assholes will just sit at whatever table they want regardless of where they are supposed to sit according to the seating chart.  Is this rude of that person?  Heck yes!  But whatever way you go, assigned tables or not, people will find issues with what was decided.
In the end it really comes down to what is normal in your area, what people are use to, and apparently in OPs circumstance, what will and will not cause family drama. The bolded is true, but it is not a good reason not to do assigned tables and make a seating chart.  Some people may take offense at assigned seating, but they are not understanding why seats are assigned.  It is not done to "tell people what to do" but simply to make sure that at the start of the reception, there is a place for everyone to sit.  People who would create drama over it are being rude and making things harder for everyone else, including both the hosts and the other guests. OP has said multiple times that there are several times as many seats as guests. If she has 50 guests, 100 chairs, and very strong feelings against seating charts for unknown family reasons, I really, really think it's ok to let this one go. We all agree that generally speaking, seating charts are the way to go. But there are exceptions to every rule and it sounds like this is a solid one.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

NikkiJay3333 said:

People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.

Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  

Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with.

BS.  The whole point of seating assignments is to make sure everyone has a place to sit.  Anyone who tampers with the arrangements is being rude.  "Jerks will be jerks and steal seats" is not an acceptable excuse for not assigning tables.

I don't think that is what she was trying to say.  She was simply stating that just because you make a seating chart does not mean that people will abide by it.  Some assholes will just sit at whatever table they want regardless of where they are supposed to sit according to the seating chart.  Is this rude of that person?  Heck yes!  But whatever way you go, assigned tables or not, people will find issues with what was decided.

In the end it really comes down to what is normal in your area, what people are use to, and apparently in OPs circumstance, what will and will not cause family drama.

The bolded is true, but it is not a good reason not to do assigned tables and make a seating chart.  Some people may take offense at assigned seating, but they are not understanding why seats are assigned.  It is not done to "tell people what to do" but simply to make sure that at the start of the reception, there is a place for everyone to sit.  People who would create drama over it are being rude and making things harder for everyone else, including both the hosts and the other guests.

But she didn't say that was a reason to not do assigned tables.  She was just providing an example of how even with assigning tables, people could still be asses and not follow the seating chart.  She was simply saying that either way you decide to go there will be people who will judge or be upset because that is just how they are.  Do I think it is silly if people get their panties in a wad because they weren't sat with so and so?  Sure?  But those are the kind of people who would find anything to get their panties in a wad about.  If it isn't the seating chart it is the flavor of the cake or it is the music that is playing during dinner.

When it comes to seating charts it really comes down to what your circle is used to or what is easiest.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

NikkiJay3333 said:

People judge others with seating plans too for many reasons.  They didn't get seated with who they wanted, they didn't get seated where they wanted (too close/far from the head table, family, bar, speakers, dance floor, bathrooms), etc.  These are just examples of complaints I have heard personally about table assignments at various weddings and events I have attended.

Table assignments do not ensure you have a place to sit. There are almost always people who ignore the table assignments and sit where they want no matter what.  This leaves people trying to follow the seating chart left with no place to sit, and they can't just pick somewhere else because the tables are assigned.  

Judgmental people will judge others no matter what.  Jerks will be jerks and steal seats whether it is open or assigned seating.  It's not like having table assignments assures everyone is happy.  There are issues with both open seating and assigned seating, and we just have to decide which issues we would rather deal with.

BS.  The whole point of seating assignments is to make sure everyone has a place to sit.  Anyone who tampers with the arrangements is being rude.  "Jerks will be jerks and steal seats" is not an acceptable excuse for not assigning tables.

I don't think that is what she was trying to say.  She was simply stating that just because you make a seating chart does not mean that people will abide by it.  Some assholes will just sit at whatever table they want regardless of where they are supposed to sit according to the seating chart.  Is this rude of that person?  Heck yes!  But whatever way you go, assigned tables or not, people will find issues with what was decided.

In the end it really comes down to what is normal in your area, what people are use to, and apparently in OPs circumstance, what will and will not cause family drama.

The bolded is true, but it is not a good reason not to do assigned tables and make a seating chart.  Some people may take offense at assigned seating, but they are not understanding why seats are assigned.  It is not done to "tell people what to do" but simply to make sure that at the start of the reception, there is a place for everyone to sit.  People who would create drama over it are being rude and making things harder for everyone else, including both the hosts and the other guests.

But she didn't say that was a reason to not do assigned tables.  She was just providing an example of how even with assigning tables, people could still be asses and not follow the seating chart.  She was simply saying that either way you decide to go there will be people who will judge or be upset because that is just how they are.  Do I think it is silly if people get their panties in a wad because they weren't sat with so and so?  Sure?  But those are the kind of people who would find anything to get their panties in a wad about.  If it isn't the seating chart it is the flavor of the cake or it is the music that is playing during dinner.

When it comes to seating charts it really comes down to what your circle is used to or what is easiest.

Yes and no.  Supposing that some of the people are used to open seating and some are used to assigned tables?  It might be easiest not to assign in that case, but that's not necessarily the best thing to do.  

Istoleahalo

YIKES!!   Looks like this caused drama even on here!  I think I will go ahead and go with the one table for us...possibly with the signs on the backs of the chairs, I like that idea.  There is plenty of room for everyone and then some.  Not to mention it is a casual country wedding where almsot everyone knows each other.  It's not formal (Because it is at the family's farm/barn, I'll be lucky if a few of my uncles show up in something other than their work overalls!).  Thank you to everyone who responded.  

moonpowder

My guess would be to have a reserved head table and maybe a ''table coordinator'' per table? You just assigned 1 person per table and naturally talking with people during cocktail hour the groups will form and tables as well. 

Maggie0829

moonpowder said:

My guess would be to have a reserved head table and maybe a ''table coordinator'' per table? You just assigned 1 person per table and naturally talking with people during cocktail hour the groups will form and tables as well. 

What?  No.