Send invite even if someone already knows they can't make it?

dinnerparty3

Hello! I have not sent out my invitations yet (my wedding is this Sept), but from sending Save the Dates, we already had some people mention to us they won't be able to attend. Should we still send them the formal invitations? I'm particularly wondering about a friend of mine who is moving to Dubai (why she can't come!)...I want her to feel included and everything, but getting special international postage for the invite and response card to be able to mail her the invite in Dubai, when I already know she can't make it, seems sort of silly. But I want to do the right thing! Any input or advice would be much appreciated. Is there an etiquette when it comes to including people who already mentioned they can't make it? 

KGold80

Yes, if someone received a save the date, they must also receive an invitation even if they have told you they won't be able to make it. Plans can change.

manateehugger

Just go ahead and send it. We sent plenty invitations abroad to people we know more than likely won't make it, but we wanted to extend the invite anyway.

If it makes you feel better, follow up with an email saying you just wanted to include her and sent it out of whishful thinking.

dinnerparty3

Thanks so much! I will follow both of your advice!

princessleia22

We are doing destination wedding and after our STD's we knew pretty much who was coming or not. There were a couple people still unsure, but we actually had some form of communication from everyone about if they planned to attend before we sent out formal invites. At that time, we were expecting only 30-40 out of 80 people that were on our guest list. We still sent out invites to all 80 people.  We even had some people that we included on guest list that we knew wouldn't be able to travel due to health reasons and knew from the start that they couldn't attend. Even if they can't attend, it's still nice to get the invite and info. And sometimes people's plans change and they may be able to attend after all.

Plus, like KGold80 said, the official etiquette stance is that anyone who gets STD should also receive invite, even if they can't attend.

huskypuppy14

Send the invite always.  

Story time: My FMIL told us that cousin Sally couldn't attend the wedding, and not to send her an invitation. I said, Sally was invited to the bridal shower and received a STD, I'm still sending her an invitation. If she can't come, she will respond accordingly.

Guess what? Cousin Sally responded that she will attend. I think they were coming back from vacation that day, but decided to come to the wedding anyway. Great, but if she didn't receive an invitation, she probably would have been offended.

Always send an invitation even if you know or think they can't come.

huskypuppy14

Also, don't worry about putting a stamp on the response card. Just put a little note, that she can respond via email. For the actual invitation, the international postage was $1.15 for under 1 oz, and $2.30 or something for under 2oz. It's not that bad.

dinnerparty3

oh thanks @hukypuppy14 great advice!!