SO: Did your H help you write thank you notes?

climbingsingle

I handled all of the writing of TY notes after our inadvertent engagement party (that's another story) because while FI is a genius when it comes to things like science and math and building stuff, his handwriting is illegible and he makes a lot of grammatical errors. He did, however, sit with me while I wrote all of them and helped me come up with a individual note for each one. I expect this is the same way we'll do the TY notes for the wedding.

ETA: He also bought stamps and mailed all of them out.  

wrigleyville

H has terrible handwriting, so I gave him envelope-sealing-and-stamping duty. He also took them to the post office for me.

I really didn't mind writing them. I did a bunch on the plane to/from our honeymoon, and I finished up the rest while watching Netflix.

grumbledore

We still have almost 6 months, but like hell will I be writing all of them by myself.

Maggie0829

My H did not help me write TY notes.  I wrote the majority of mine at work because my work is slow as heck so I have a lot of down time.  But if I had a busy job and had to do them after work and on the weekends instead, then yeah he would have helped.

KGold80

My FI has never helped me write thank you notes for anything. He puts his signature on things we send out as a household or partnership, such as holiday cards and thank you cards, but I do all of the selecting and writing. With our wedding, I'm doing the planning, he's going along with most of what I want, we decided on the registry stuff together, and I'll write thank you notes when all is said and done. We have a pretty clear division of labor in our household though. He does most of the cleaning and laundry. I do all of the food shopping, cooking, gift buying, and thank you note writing. We play to our individual strengths and preferences. I actually LIKE buying gifts for others and sending out cards and thank you notes. It makes me happy whereas he finds it stressful. I'll ask for his input when it comes time to write the thank you notes after the wedding, but I'll write them all myself.

kitty8403

Mine doesn't do thank you notes, period. He might call or sign his name if I pester, but every hand-written thank you for the past 8 years has been my job, and both of us have horribly illegible writing. I'm a little sympathetic when I see brides saying they have hundreds to do and zero help.

cupcait927

I have a feeling I'll end up writing most of them myself but I'll ask FI to help. I may put him on duty to stuff, address and stamp the envelopes.

banana468

We had a deal that I'd write the notes and DH was in charge of reorganization of the gifts in our home.

That said, I had them all done within 3 weeks of the big day and no one called or emailed that Marie Barone-like tirade that we saw in the other thread.

daria24

I wrote all of our TY notes-engagement party, shower, and wedding. Our wedding TY notes I did on the 13 hour plane ride to our HM-H addressed the envelopes for me. 

Honestly if I told him that he had to do them-he would have waited MONTHS before getting it done. 

HisGirlFriday13

DH has terrible handwriting. Also, he was not raised to write TYs, whereas I was, so I can crank them out in under two minutes.

I wrote all TYs for both showers and our wedding, and it took me one night for each shower and three days for the wedding.

He put on stamps and mailed them and kept me company while I did them.

I handled those joint social obligations because they were from both of us. He was in charge of writing the Christmas card to his BSC grandmother, because that was not a joint social obligation.

lyndausvi

He wrote most of his family's and close friend's TY notes.  I mostly did my side.

VulgarGirl

We'll do them together. If FI left me just in charge of it, I'd probably get distracted by something shiny and wander off. If I left FI in charge of it, everyone would get a form thank you note. Together she'll keep me on task, and I'll get her to actually write a personal thank you note.

A few years ago some friends threw us a 5 year anniversery party (cause they wanted to) and we got gifts. We sat down and figured out if we wrote thank you notes together it was a lot easier. And we had some fun with it (read: wine and cake). 

Bubblegum5586

We both have terrible hand writing so no excuses for hubby! I typically handle all thanks you's and cards from us, but the wedding was where I drew the line and told him I expected him to help. I think after a year of watching me write TYs for our engagement party and my shower he realized he could do (about 1/3) of the TY's. He did great and it saved us so much time!

csuave

lyndausvi said:

He wrote most of his family's and close friend's TY notes.  I mostly did my side.

Same here.  DH was already a TY writer and card sender when I married him so he wanted to do "his."  He also does the cards for "his people" and I do mine.

singinchick13

I did most of them for gifts we got before DS was born, but I got FI to write the ones to his family. The same thing will probably happen for the wedding.

Fran1985

I actually think he will do most of the thank you notes. The registry is like his baby he is so excited for cooking stuff.

AprilH81

DH has horrible handwriting, but I had him help me.  We had around 30 family units at the wedding and not everyone gave gifts so we just split the thank you notes in half.  He wasn't too happy about it, but I had written the thank you notes for anything that came early and anything sent after we got back.  I think we each wrote about 11 notes and had them done in one evening within a week of getting back from the honeymoon.

chibiyui

FI and I both have terrible handwriting. I've done most of the thank you cards...... I gave a few to FI for some gifts his friends gave us.....I should make sure he did those tonight......

Ven&Radio

My H wrote all of the thank you notes for his friends and family. I think he came up with some better notes than I did.

sarawifenow

I am a freak and absolutely love writing thank you notes, so I am going to hoard them all to myself. In reality, I don't think FI minds one bit. Also, this way, I can be as much of a control freak as I want and I know exactly what they will all say.

HeatherKat

Seeing as I'm the one who wrote out the Mother's Day cards for both moms this year, it's been decided that I'm in charge of writing the cards, and he gets to address, lick, and stamp them. Seems like a fair division of labor to me!

photokitty

DH is thoughtful, good with words and has decent handwriting - SCORE! 

He wrote the thank you for his side of the guest list. 

I wrote for my (much larger) side of the guest list. 

I addressed them all and wrote any for gifts that arrived after the wedding.

JCbride2015

Fi gets this weird anxiety about writing cards to people.  He gets mild social anxiety if he fears he is being judged, so writing any sort of card just bothers him.  He thinks he won't know what to say.  He's also weird about calling people, even his own family.  For work?  No problem.  Personally?  He's awkward.

So with that said, when we did our TYs for our engagement party, I wrote the note inside and he put the card in the envelope, addressed, licked, and stamped.  He has very neat handwriting (as do I).

My joint pain in my hands has gotten worse lately though, and I can only write for about ten minutes before I need to take a break.  So I think Fi may need to pitch in more when it comes time for the actual wedding.

SO of a SO: do you guys use return address labels or a stamp?  And did you get a new one immediately if you changed your name when you got married?

grumbledore

bubblegum1309 said:

We both have terrible hand writing so no excuses for hubby! I typically handle all thanks you's and cards from us, but the wedding was where I drew the line and told him I expected him to help. I think after a year of watching me write TYs for our engagement party and my shower he realized he could do (about 1/3) of the TY's. He did great and it saved us so much time!

It's no excuse period.  I can understand having the person with the better handwriting do the invitations, but not the thank yous.  I think it's seriously shitty how many brides on this thread did them alone or nearly alone.  Fuck that noise.

phira

I hope that we will write them together. We're planning on having him write the notes for "his" guests, and having me write the notes for "my" guests. We'll sign them all together.

Again, this is what I'm hoping, but there's, like, a 75% chance I'm writing all of them.

thisismynickname2

I have a feeling I'll be writing them myself due to FI's chickenscratch and overall allergies to cards in general. I will sure as hell put him on signature and stamp'n'seal duty though.  

True story, he NEVER does cards. Birthday, holiday, mother's day.... I'm the card person, so this year his mom got a card.  

Also, just the other day we had the following conversation: FI: "Hey, who are the invitations coming from?" Me: "Unless you're putting our return on address on every single envelope, they're coming from me, since I have hundreds of freebie charity address labels."  (I don't care about styles and stuff.)  

jdluvr06

My FI is in charge of thank you notes. I have horrible writing and carpel tunnel so it will be better all around if he does it. He asked if he could pick the thank you notes out since he was the one who was writing them all and I was like go for it. Little did I know that he would spend months and hours online trying to pick the perfect thank you notes. He spent more time looking at thank you notes then we did designing the invitations.

climbingsingle

JCbride2015 said:

Fi gets this weird anxiety about writing cards to people.  He gets mild social anxiety if he fears he is being judged, so writing any sort of card just bothers him.  He thinks he won't know what to say.  He's also weird about calling people, even his own family.  For work?  No problem.  Personally?  He's awkward.

So with that said, when we did our TYs for our engagement party, I wrote the note inside and he put the card in the envelope, addressed, licked, and stamped.  He has very neat handwriting (as do I).

My joint pain in my hands has gotten worse lately though, and I can only write for about ten minutes before I need to take a break.  So I think Fi may need to pitch in more when it comes time for the actual wedding.

SO of a SO: do you guys use return address labels or a stamp?  And did you get a new one immediately if you changed your name when you got married?

I can feel your FI's pain re: the phone. I HATE calling people. And I hate answering the phone. Maybe it's because I have to be on it most of the day at work? I don't know. But when my phone rings, I cringe and if I have to call someone, I feel uncomfortable. Maybe except for my mom. 

So far, I've just been hand-writing our return address. I'm thinking about ordering labels. 

VulgarGirl

JCbride2015 said:

SO of a SO: do you guys use return address labels or a stamp?  And did you get a new one immediately if you changed your name when you got married?

We're planning on getting some new one's printed and FI wants to use her new last name on them. We'll probably order then prior to the wedding so we have them for thank you notes post wedding.

CrazyCatLady3

I'm not happy about it but will probably end up writing them myself, because FI waits until the last minute to do things and if he is in charge of doing them, they will not go out until later than I am comfortable waiting to send them out.  We do have a 10 hour flight to our HM so I plan to get them all knocked out on the plane.

luckysnorkel

We've only gotten a few early gifts so far, but we have split the TY card duties 50/50.  FI even helped me hand-address our invitation envelopes, and ended up doing a better job than I did!