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Etiquette

(rant) friend snarking on my ring(s)

Friend (acquaintance) of mine just got all self-righteous about how she has a pearl E-ring instead of a diamond one because I'm murdering babies in Africa by having my small (certified conflict free) 3-stone and my studded wedding band with teensy diamonds in it. I wanted diamonds because they're durable, though I didn't have any choice in the matter; it was a surprise proposal. I do a lot with my hands as an artist, and I also garden, so I'm glad he got me a diamond ring. She literally went on and on for 10 minutes about how she is morally superior because she has a pearl ring and also how "stupid" diamonds are. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when she accidentally whacks it on the countertop and it breaks. I told her they were fragile, and she was shocked. LOL SHE DIDN'T KNOW. Apparently the jeweler said nothing to her about the proper care of a pearl and how fragile the nacre is? I only wear pearls on my ears, since I'm unlikely to hit an earring on something unless I also break my face (in which case, I'm more worried about my face than an earring LOL). I don't even wear my pearl earrings in the shower because I've heard that even soap can mess them up.


UUUUgh... some people. Sorry, I had to let this loose. It feels better to write it down. She also said my car was a "lesbian" car. I drive a Subaru Forester. I told her that lesbians must be pretty smart, since my car has AWD and hasn't needed anything other than routine maintenance since I bought it used in 2007. I guess she's not really a friend, though I liked her okay until now.

*end rant*


My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

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PrettyGirlLostgrumbledoreashleyepadverb1129Marzipan13
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Re: (rant) friend snarking on my ring(s)

  • Wow, I really don't understand why she feels your ring is any of her business. Everyone has different likes and tastes, she has no right to judge that. How rude of her! Definitely wouldn't be considering her a friend any longer.

    Also, that lesbian car statement sounds really judgey and stereotypical. I didn't know lesbians were supposed to drive a specific type of car? UGH. Yeah, get ride of this friend! Lol
    kitsunegari89chibiyuithemuffinman16MadHops21
  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    Yeah, she sucks. I'm going to avoid being in her presence in the future, which is hard since we have mutual friends. I can't be around homophobes, anyway. I have too many un-straight friends, so it's like they're insulting my buds personally and that is not cool.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
    PrettyGirlLostthemuffinman16
  • kitsunegari89kitsunegari89 member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    People who feel the need to gratuitously snark on diamonds are generally insecure about their non-diamond rings.  There's nothing wrong with wanting something other than a diamond, but if you were really happy/secure about it, you wouldn't feel the need to put down people who do have a diamond.  It's one thing if someone is rude to you about not having a diamond and you explain why you don't have one, but otherwise, STFU.
    Her hubs admitted to me that he bought her ring on Overstock (they just get it polished/tuned up etc at the place she thinks he got it), but I'm, like, not supposed to tell her. I honestly think she is pretty insecure, though mine is a teacher's salary ring. It's not a huge rock or anything, but I love it! It does not occur to me to judge other people's rings, though if a ring is too huge (like I-am-a-celebrity huge) I do tend to side-eye a little bit. Maybe that's me being jealous... dunno.
    My colors are "blood of my enemies" and "rage".

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3h1kr8sYk1qzve89.gif
    PrettyGirlLostBelle52011MinnieLovesMikithemuffinman16
  • thats nuts. No one should judge anyone's rings. So dumb. I have a friend with a pearl ring who literally cant even wear it anymore because the pearl fell out so many times she keeps almost losing it.

    They are beautiful rings but they really cant be worn daily.
    kitsunegari89PrettyGirlLostthemuffinman16
  • Ugh! Sorry she treated you like that. I would seriously re-consider my friendship with her. We all have our judgy moments, but that was just uncalled for. Engagment and wedding rings are such personal pieces of jewlery that they really cannot be compared to one another. And really, the beauty of the ring isn't the stone but the larger commitment it symbolizes anyway.

    I have a sapphire engagement ring as well, hence my screen name. I love it. It is beautiful, but the real value of this ring is the fact that it was actually my DH's grandmother's ring. I feel very honored to have it.

    image
    kitsunegari89Belle52011
  • Ugh! What a horrible person. Ick. She is crazy anyway. I would never have a pearl ring. They are too fragile. I'll stick with my emerald.
    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Ugh. I personally have a diamond but I love rings that are other things. For a while, I really wanted a pearl, but I learned how fragile they are and changed my mind. I like to wear my rings everyday and I feel comfortable doing that with a diamond. My mom has a beautiful sapphire and I friend has a gorgeous opal.
    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89
  • Sugargirl1019Sugargirl1019 Deep in the Heart of Texas member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Knowing what I know about pearls, I would not want one as an engagement ring. I want to wear my engagement all the time. But would i love a fun fancy pearl ring for parties? Yes! Im a pearl girl. I have several pearl necklaces and earrings and bracelets. My wedding jewelry is pearl.

    But engagement ring? No.. He must never want her to wear the ring. Must be embarrassed to have her claimed as his. - so don't wear that ring out anywhere!

    image   image   image

    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89
  • All that matters is that you love the ring you received and it fits for you and your lifestyle. For me it was important to have a ring that didn't sit too high up because of the activities I like to do. And in regards to diamonds, my comment to her would be does that go the same for diamonds handed down through generations or estate sale pieces? At least you found this out now before you had the chance to ask her to be a BM, because if she is making comments like this about your ring, I can only imagine how she would rip apart any other decision you make about your wedding. If she asks you details about your wedding, I would just say, we're keep the information to ourselves at the moment and will share them when the time is right. 

    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89themuffinman16
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I have never had anyone say a negative word about my sapphire--only "It's perfect for you!" I can't believe people would be so insecure about their rings that they'd need to be rude to others.

    For real, your FI proposed to you, not to anybody else. So why are you comparing your ring to anyone else's ring?
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89themuffinman16
  • People who feel the need to gratuitously snark on diamonds are generally insecure about their non-diamond rings.  There's nothing wrong with wanting something other than a diamond, but if you were really happy/secure about it, you wouldn't feel the need to put down people who do have a diamond.  It's one thing if someone is rude to you about not having a diamond and you explain why you don't have one, but otherwise, STFU.
    This. I have a sapphire e-ring by choice and for largely sentimental reasons. My diamonds are non-conflict because that's a huge deal to me. I don't think why people get rings other than diamonds is anyone else's business unless you ask nicely and are complimentary. I have a friend who has a GORGEOUS peridot e-ring because her FI is in seminary and doesn't have a lot of cash, so he bought a less expensive stone. So what? It's still beautiful and it symbolises their commitment.
    Mine's a peridot with tiny diamonds and I love it :)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89themuffinman16
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2014
    phira said:
    @PrettyGirlLost As soon as you get a certain number of Love-Its, you get your meanie-pants certification ;D

    image



    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    kitsunegari89themuffinman16
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    BTW adding GIFs to posts by dragging and dropping them in is broken now ><

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    kitsunegari89
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    MagicInk said:
    Everyone knows the official car of lesbians is a Jeep. And anything hybrid.
    Scooters.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    kitsunegari89SmileDamnitgrumbledorethemuffinman16
  • vmj23vmj23 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its 5 Answers
    People who feel the need to gratuitously snark on diamonds are generally insecure about their non-diamond rings.  There's nothing wrong with wanting something other than a diamond, but if you were really happy/secure about it, you wouldn't feel the need to put down people who do have a diamond.  It's one thing if someone is rude to you about not having a diamond and you explain why you don't have one, but otherwise, STFU.

    exactly what i was thinking.   sounds like she is just trying convince herself that her pearl is better than a diamond.  

     

    and i always wear pearl earrings in the shower...i had no clue they where that delicate..should i not?!

    kitsunegari89
  • jenni1221 said:
    People who feel the need to gratuitously snark on diamonds are generally insecure about their non-diamond rings.  There's nothing wrong with wanting something other than a diamond, but if you were really happy/secure about it, you wouldn't feel the need to put down people who do have a diamond.  It's one thing if someone is rude to you about not having a diamond and you explain why you don't have one, but otherwise, STFU.

    exactly what i was thinking.   sounds like she is just trying convince herself that her pearl is better than a diamond.  

     

    and i always wear pearl earrings in the shower...i had no clue they where that delicate..should i not?!

    Pearls are very delicate and porous. Plain water isn't the worst thing for them, but yes, the minerals in hard water can be bad for them (let alone chlorinated water). You are supposed to put on pearls after you have done your makeup and hair, even, since those can damage them. And wipe them down if you have sweated a lot that day. They are very, very easily damaged. 
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
    PrettyGirlLostkitsunegari89vmj23
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