Wedding Etiquette Forum

Second PPD!!!

Oh, I'm just so....excitied to share this shitstorm with all of you.

Ok, breath, calm down. Alright, my cousin (lets call her Ursula) got married 8 years ago. I was in her wedding as a bridesmaid. Not be cause we like each other or are even friends, but because I was a female family member of bridesmaid age. Seriously, that was the only reasons. It was shitty. I got yelled at for having tattoos and then when we tried the crappy cover up make up they got it looked terrible (I'm very pale), and I got yelled at for that. We had to have matching hair, shoes, make up, nails, everything. Match, match, match. When we were ordering our dresses I ordered my size and I was the smallest one and got yelled at for that because I shouldn't be thinner then the bride. I was only 19 at the time and still trying to get this side of the family to be in my life (since I've flipped the lot of them the bird and grown a backbone of steel) , that's my defense for not just bowing out. I was with FI at the time and was told she would not be invited if I introduced her as my girlfriend. Dad went to bat for me on this one. We were not to do anything that would make anyone uncomfortable, but I could introduce her as my girlfriend, but she wouldn't sit at the head table with me. And oh yeah there was a cash bar.

So a few years later come to find out...this was a PPD (of course I didn't know that term then). Ursula was Catholic and our grandma had insisted she be married in a Catholic ceremony. But her mother was insistent she be married at the fancy shamncy golf course so they could impress people. So Ursula had a super small private Catholic ceremony to appease grandma, then the big to do PPD I was at later. Huge eye roll from me but by this point I no longer spoke to Ursala. 

Well yesterday a save the date shows up proclaiming that Ursula is to be wed to Jaffar. So...I'm confused. Cause they've gotten married twice already. No last names though, so maybe she met a different Jaffar and is marrying him? I decide to check out the wedding website. Which reads:

Jaffar and Ursula are getting married on DATE. They've been together for 8 years now and are finally get the wedding they deserve!

Ok...what? I was at your second fucking wedding! My dad did some investigating. Apparently Ursula is very upset, and has been for a long time, that her second wedding was her mother's vision and not her's. So she's going to do a do-over! And this time it'll be the wedding she dreamed of!

I laughed so hard that she has spent the past 8 years being pissed her wedding wasn't her vision. And yeah, there's a honeyfund because "We have all the material good we need!" sure ya do, you've been married for 8 years.

I'm really considering going just to see what happens.
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Re: Second PPD!!!

  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper

    Jesus Christ. I mean if people want to spend their money like that though. Whatever. I have a people will do what they will do mentality.


    I am in a snarky mood today anyway. mehhh

    Anniversary
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • Do you get to be a bridesmaid again or does one even have a wedding party for PPD pt 2?
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    grumbledore
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I kind of almost wish they'd live-stream this monstrosity so we could all see it live!
    ~*~*~*~*~

    PrettyGirlLostgladyscfConesus
  • I may not completely understand the definition of a PPD - I know its a pretty princess day.  But I feel like this is more of a "Oh shit, we're out of money lets throw a party and tell everyone no gifts so they'll all bring money!!"
    MairePoppyLDay2014bookworm1115
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    phira said:
    Ahahaha I know you picked the names intentionally but Ursula and Jaffar getting married--I would watch that movie.
    I was totally blanking on another male Disney villain. But yeah, that movie would kick ass.
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Why the everloving fuck couldn't they get married at the Catholic church and then have their reception at the fancy schmancy country club?

    That said, you TOTALLY need to go and then report back.
    Because that's reasonable, logical and sane. And they are none of those three things.
    wrigleyvillePrettyGirlLost
  • PPD's (as in, "she was dying, we wanted to get married before she died, now she's better... lets do a fun big dress ceremony and reception", or "I need in state tuition and my fiance is from that state, lets do it quick now and have big dress later" or "just got a new job with free housing if you are married... lets get married right now fiance!" ) really don't bother me the way they seem to for most people here. But this one... wow. Really earns the title PPD in my opinion! And just... yeah, wow. Hilarious. 
  • Normal people take their money and spend it on an anniversary trip. People who like attention and gifts renew their vows and have PPD's. All that money spent for celebrating a marriage for the 3rd time?
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    ashleyepPrettyGirlLost
  • And oh yeah there was a cash bar.

    So a few years later come to find out...this was a PPD (of course I didn't know that term then). Ursula was Catholic and our grandma had insisted she be married in a Catholic ceremony. But her mother was insistent she be married at the fancy shamncy golf course so they could impress people.

    Yeah, I'm sure that cash bar was super impressive.


    Sorry for those who had a cash bar where it's the norm, but I'm sure you didn't do it with this mom's mentality, "Let have a fancy shmancy big to-do at the impressive golf course... but make them pay for their own drinks." Yeah. No.

    Out of curiosity, why was she not able to have a fancy shmancy impressive wedding at the church? You know, the ceremony there then the reception at the golf course?

    You need to go and report back. What exactly is her vision? Does it involve burlap and mason jars?
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    grumbledorecowgirl8238beharrington
  • She could have at least called it a vow renewal and pretended to have some class about it! It would have been a shit show either way, but then at least she's pretending.
    Anniversary
    PrettyGirlLost
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Planning one wedding sucks enough.
    Planning two... why?
    Planning THREE? Fuck no.

    My FI hated his first wedding but his second wedding is with someone different (me). Three weddings with the same person, go eff yourself. Seriously.  Gross. 
    ________________________________


    melbensopolly212rajahmdgrumbledore
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    DEAR GOD. I'm going to need to hold a little course on the definition of the word "deserve" for all the precious, special snowflakes of the world. I mean, I'm pretty sure I was discouraged from even using the word "deserve" when I was a child. Partly because nothing sounds more petulant than someone pontificating about what they deserve, but more likely because "deserve" is irrelevant. If anything, I didn't deserve half of the good stuff that was thrown my way by virtue of my birth. There may have been times when I deserved better than what I got (first job salary comes to mind). But in either of those cases, what did "deserve" matter? It's the corollary to "life isn't fair." It isn't, for better and for worse. You could deserve a kingdom, but proclaiming this to be so and throwing yourself another-nother wedding? That is just icky. Put some of that energy toward helping a child in need or something! (A child who, by the way, probably "deserves" help more than any person has ever "deserved" a wedding).
    THIS. 9 times out of 10 when I hear that someone thinks they DESERVE something, I want to smack the everliving fuck out of them.

    Also, I've heard so many people say "Oh man, I wish I could have a redo wedding now that Pinterest is a thing and I can find way better ideas!" BUT THEY DON'T ACTUALLY DO IT.

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    VulgarGirl[Deleted User]PrettyGirlLostgrumbledore
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    ashleyep said:
    She could have at least called it a vow renewal and pretended to have some class about it! It would have been a shit show either way, but then at least she's pretending.
    Right, I'd probably still roll my eyes because she is who she is. But I'd judge way less. But no, flat out calling it her wedding. From what I could suss out it looks like she's letting people believe they've just been together for 8 years, not married for 8 years. I'm not sure anyone is falling for it, but that's what she seems to be aiming for.
    ashleyepgrumbledore
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    DEAR GOD. I'm going to need to hold a little course on the definition of the word "deserve" for all the precious, special snowflakes of the world. I mean, I'm pretty sure I was discouraged from even using the word "deserve" when I was a child. Partly because nothing sounds more petulant than someone pontificating about what they deserve, but more likely because "deserve" is irrelevant. If anything, I didn't deserve half of the good stuff that was thrown my way by virtue of my birth. There may have been times when I deserved better than what I got (first job salary comes to mind). But in either of those cases, what did "deserve" matter? It's the corollary to "life isn't fair." It isn't, for better and for worse. You could deserve a kingdom, but proclaiming this to be so and throwing yourself another-nother wedding? That is just icky. Put some of that energy toward helping a child in need or something! (A child who, by the way, probably "deserves" help more than any person has ever "deserved" a wedding).
    THIS. 9 times out of 10 when I hear that someone thinks they DESERVE something, I want to smack the everliving fuck out of them.

    Also, I've heard so many people say "Oh man, I wish I could have a redo wedding now that Pinterest is a thing and I can find way better ideas!" BUT THEY DON'T ACTUALLY DO IT.
    I feel like she saw this e-card and took it as real advice.
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    There's a person on WW who's planning her vow renewal and it's super irritating because she's treating it like a wedding (wedding party, bridesmaids dresses, the works). But at least she's not calling it a wedding.

    @thisismynickname I just can't even wrap my head around spending money on ANOTHER WEDDING. Am I made of money or something?
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    ashleyep
  • Nooooooo.  I just found out my sister had a PPD.  H is actually still mad about it.  I think she did it for stupid reasons (just cause you're marrying into the military doesn't make you a SS) but whatevs...I can't really fix it now.

    BUT AT LEAST SHE'S NOT HAVING TWO (cause trust me, dad would NOT pay for that, haha)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
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