Oh, I'm just so....excitied to share this shitstorm with all of you.
Ok, breath, calm down. Alright, my cousin (lets call her Ursula) got married 8 years ago. I was in her wedding as a bridesmaid. Not be cause we like each other or are even friends, but because I was a female family member of bridesmaid age. Seriously, that was the only reasons. It was shitty. I got yelled at for having tattoos and then when we tried the crappy cover up make up they got it looked terrible (I'm very pale), and I got yelled at for that. We had to have matching hair, shoes, make up, nails, everything. Match, match, match. When we were ordering our dresses I ordered my size and I was the smallest one and got yelled at for that because I shouldn't be thinner then the bride. I was only 19 at the time and still trying to get this side of the family to be in my life (since I've flipped the lot of them the bird and grown a backbone of steel) , that's my defense for not just bowing out. I was with FI at the time and was told she would not be invited if I introduced her as my girlfriend. Dad went to bat for me on this one. We were not to do anything that would make anyone uncomfortable, but I could introduce her as my girlfriend, but she wouldn't sit at the head table with me. And oh yeah there was a cash bar.
So a few years later come to find out...this was a PPD (of course I didn't know that term then). Ursula was Catholic and our grandma had insisted she be married in a Catholic ceremony. But her mother was insistent she be married at the fancy shamncy golf course so they could impress people. So Ursula had a super small private Catholic ceremony to appease grandma, then the big to do PPD I was at later. Huge eye roll from me but by this point I no longer spoke to Ursala.
Well yesterday a save the date shows up proclaiming that Ursula is to be wed to Jaffar. So...I'm confused. Cause they've gotten married twice already. No last names though, so maybe she met a different Jaffar and is marrying him? I decide to check out the wedding website. Which reads:
Jaffar and Ursula are getting married on DATE. They've been together for 8 years now and are finally get the wedding they deserve!
Ok...what? I was at your second fucking wedding! My dad did some investigating. Apparently Ursula is very upset, and has been for a long time, that her second wedding was her mother's vision and not her's. So she's going to do a do-over! And this time it'll be the wedding she dreamed of!
I laughed so hard that she has spent the past 8 years being pissed her wedding wasn't her vision. And yeah, there's a honeyfund because "We have all the material good we need!" sure ya do, you've been married for 8 years.
I'm really considering going just to see what happens.