I have felt through much of this wedding planning process that my mom has been purposely defiant. If I make a suggestion about something, she does the EXACT OPPOSITE! Add that to her ridiculous behavior and poor assumptions based on faulty information and I'm about to lose it.
This situation is no different (and this post is more of a VENT than anything). I had been bugging my mom for MONTHS to start looking for a dress for my August wedding. I wanted her to have the opportunity to choose a dress first before FI mom, as is the tradition. She didn't START looking until April. At that point, ordering anything that took 8 - 12 weeks to be delivered was out of the question. Off the rack at a department store was out of the question because she didn't want to spend that much money. So, against my recommendation, she looked online at jjshouse and jdbridal. Both stores are based in China. I warned her of the risks. I cautioned her to check the return policy thoroughly before ordering anything. Did she? Of course not.
She couldn't decide on a dress OR a color. So she ordered 2 styles in 2 different colors. (Total: 4 dresses.) I took her measurements and told her what size to order. She didn't like the size I told her ("I've never been that size ... ever!!"). I explained the awful truth about how sizing for these dresses is AT LEAST 2 sizes bigger than a normal dress. She didn't believe me. And ordered all 4 dresses one size smaller than she should have. So, they're all too small.
So, because 1) she didn't listen to me, 2) ordered a dress from China and 3) didn't listen to me (yes, I said that twice), she may be stuck paying for 5 DRESSES!! 4 of which she can't wear because they are too small / wrong color / wrong style / she doesn't like them.
In her quest to save money, she wound up spending 5x more than she would have IF SHE JUST LISTENED TO ME!!
Does this impact me in the grand scheme of things? No ... except now I have to hear about it.
Re: UPDATED: Online NIGHTMARE! VENTING
my mom found her dress for my wedding off the rack at macys on sale and needs no altering
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/
I think it's time to let go and let your mom be an adult. She knows about the seamstress and she knows what a department store is. I think maybe it'd help if you go back to real wedding plans and start ignoring this crap.
She doesn't own anything that she has worn to other weddings? Honestly not THAT big of a deal. My mother and my fiance's mother are both wearing dresses that they already own. My mom wore it to my brother's wedding just a year ago and I don't give a crap that she's wearing it to mine. I would also tell your FI's mom that she's being very considerate but to just go ahead and get whatever she likes in whatever color she likes.