Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Ceremony Reception reversal

I want to have my wedding ceremony at sunset on the first night of Rosh Hashanah but for the next two years Rosh Hashanah begins on a Sunday. Would it be weird to have the recpetion first and then the ceremony? 
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Re: Ceremony Reception reversal

  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Yes, it'd be weird.  Why is Rosh Hashanah so important to you for your wedding date?
  • I want to have my wedding ceremony at sunset on the first night of Rosh Hashanah but for the next two years Rosh Hashanah begins on a Sunday. Would it be weird to have the recpetion first and then the ceremony? 
    Yes, the whole purpose of the reception is to receive your guests for the first time as H&W.  Not knowing what time sunset is, can you go right into dinner and skip cocktail hour after the ceremony?  You would just need to have all your pictures done before your ceremony.
  • Yes, that would be odd.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • It would be weird. Sunset is usually about 7 in September (here anyways). You could do a 6:45 ceremony start time and if you do pictures before the ceremony could start your reception (depending on length of ceremony) about 7:30
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It would be odd. Also, would your Jewish friends and family be okay with attending a wedding that ends right as one of the high holy days begins?
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  • Yes, I think that would be odd.

    Now I'm not Jewish, but I thought Rosh Hashanah was one of the forbidden days to get married in the Jewish Calendar?  Would you even be able to find a Rabbi to marry you?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Have you run this by your VIPs? I'm not Jewish, but I have my own traditions for holidays and observances that would not involve a wedding. Would you be including other customs into the day? And, to my understanding via my Jewish BFF, isn't the start of Rosh Hashana a serious, reflective time, not a time for celebration?

    To the original question, yes I would find it highly odd.

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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    Have you run this by your VIPs? I'm not Jewish, but I have my own traditions for holidays and observances that would not involve a wedding. Would you be including other customs into the day? And, to my understanding via my Jewish BFF, isn't the start of Rosh Hashana a serious, reflective time, not a time for celebration? To the original question, yes I would find it highly odd.
    Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year, so it's a time of celebration. But it is a biblically mandated day of rest, and not a day an observant Jew could get married.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    mlg78 said:
    Yes, it'd be weird.  Why is Rosh Hashanah so important to you for your wedding date?
    Because Rosh Hashanah is one of the most important Jewish observances in the calendar, and Jewish law prohibits weddings taking place on Rosh Hashanah or between it and Yom Kippur (the other most important Jewish observance). That's ten days in which weddings are prohibited by Jewish law. That said, OP, the purpose of a reception is to receive the guests who attended the ceremony, so scheduling it for before the ceremony does not make sense.
  • emmyg65 said:
    Have you run this by your VIPs? I'm not Jewish, but I have my own traditions for holidays and observances that would not involve a wedding. Would you be including other customs into the day? And, to my understanding via my Jewish BFF, isn't the start of Rosh Hashana a serious, reflective time, not a time for celebration? To the original question, yes I would find it highly odd.
    Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year, so it's a time of celebration. But it is a biblically mandated day of rest, and not a day an observant Jew could get married.
    I thought that was the full day though (the day after), and the night it starts is more reflective?

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    emmyg65 said:
    Have you run this by your VIPs? I'm not Jewish, but I have my own traditions for holidays and observances that would not involve a wedding. Would you be including other customs into the day? And, to my understanding via my Jewish BFF, isn't the start of Rosh Hashana a serious, reflective time, not a time for celebration? To the original question, yes I would find it highly odd.
    Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year, so it's a time of celebration. But it is a biblically mandated day of rest, and not a day an observant Jew could get married.
    I thought that was the full day though (the day after), and the night it starts is more reflective?
    Nope. Jewish holidays go from sundown to sundown, so there's no "the day after."
  • I am not Jewish and neither is my fiance. So, having a Rabbi not preform the ceremony on a High Holy Day is not an issue. I want to be married on Rosh Hashanah because it is the Jewish New Year and what better way to start a new life than on the New Year. For 2015 sunset is at 709, which is the begining of the holiday and I do not want to start my ceremony until then. I understand it is weird for a non-Jewish couple but this is what I want. I will just have the reception late or on a different day. 
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2014
    Why not get married on December 31 or January 1 instead? I find it very weird you want to get married on this particular day, when you have no association with it.
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  • I am not Jewish and neither is my fiance. So, having a Rabbi not preform the ceremony on a High Holy Day is not an issue. I want to be married on Rosh Hashanah because it is the Jewish New Year and what better way to start a new life than on the New Year. For 2015 sunset is at 709, which is the begining of the holiday and I do not want to start my ceremony until then. I understand it is weird for a non-Jewish couple but this is what I want. I will just have the reception late or on a different day. 

    If you're not Jewish and instead you're just co-opting religious holidays willy-nilly, what about the Chinese new year?
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Lots of new years for you to choose among! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year
  • Well, thank you all for your opinions. With that said, thank you all so much for making my wedding feel insignificant and wrong. It is not your place to judge me or my choices. I am not being disrespectful or taking others religious beliefs and throwing them out the window. It doesn't matter that I am not Jewish. It doesn't matter that I am a very active member of my synagogue. What matters is when i want to have my ceremony. I was asking a very simple question and you all have turned this into something that it isn't. Once again thank you. Thank you so very much for your input.
  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited May 2014
    You are totally being disrespectful. You are saying you specifically want to get married on a holiday specific to a religion that has deep roots in that community. I am completely shocked. What makes this worse is your attitude. Do you have ties to the Jewish faith? If you did, you would know it is inappropriate to schedule a wedding during this time. You are using a person's religion as an accessory to your wedding. Then, on top of that you don't want to properly host guests because your "perfect date" falls on a Sunday. Tacky' Edit for clarification
    ROCK IS KING!!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I am not Jewish and neither is my fiance. So, having a Rabbi not preform the ceremony on a High Holy Day is not an issue. I want to be married on Rosh Hashanah because it is the Jewish New Year and what better way to start a new life than on the New Year. For 2015 sunset is at 709, which is the begining of the holiday and I do not want to start my ceremony until then. I understand it is weird for a non-Jewish couple but this is what I want. I will just have the reception late or on a different day. 
    Amanda, were you aware that Jews view Rosh Hashanah as a time to review how one has behaved over the last year and there are a lot of references to repentance, because the tenth day of the Jewish year is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement?  It's not like January 1 but in fact has some very solemn tones to it.  Is that what you want for your wedding?

    Amanda, please do not coopt Jewish holidays for unrelated purposes if you are not Jewish.  Observant Jews will not appreciate that, and no rabbi is going to marry you on Rosh Hashanah-not even the most liberal ones.
  • I'm not even Jewish and I'm offended.    Rosh Hashanah is a day of rest.  It's forbidden to get married that day.  Do you get how weird it is to use that date in the manor you want?

    Getting back to your first question if you are not Jewish then there is nothing stopping you from having a sunset wedding on a Sunday with a normal reception afterwards that happens to be Rosh Hashananh.  Although I would leave that part out of the public if I were you.  









    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'm sorry but if you aren't Jewish then why do you want to get married on a Jewish holiday that is actually supposed to be a day of rest?  How odd.

    If you want to get married at sunset then great do that.  But the whole wanting to get married on Rosh Hashanah but you aren't Jewish but want to celebrate the holiday in a completely wrong and offensive way is just bonkers to me.

  • vsgalvsgal member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    If you want good insight, you should post this query on the Jewish Faith board.  Those girls may have better insight for you.

    http://forums.theknot.com/categories/cultural-wedding-boards_jewish-weddings

    ROCK IS KING!!
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.
  • Jen4948 said:
    emmyg65 said:
    Have you run this by your VIPs? I'm not Jewish, but I have my own traditions for holidays and observances that would not involve a wedding. Would you be including other customs into the day? And, to my understanding via my Jewish BFF, isn't the start of Rosh Hashana a serious, reflective time, not a time for celebration? To the original question, yes I would find it highly odd.
    Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish new year, so it's a time of celebration. But it is a biblically mandated day of rest, and not a day an observant Jew could get married.
    I thought that was the full day though (the day after), and the night it starts is more reflective?
    Nope. Jewish holidays go from sundown to sundown, so there's no "the day after."
    I know in terms of the holiday itself it's sundown to sundown, but there is very much an actual next calendar day. The other half of Rosh Hashana, if you will. 

    Regardless, it doesn't matter much if the OP is just taking a day that's super significant to some people because she thinks it's kitschy cute for herself. 

    Well, thank you all for your opinions. With that said, thank you all so much for making my wedding feel insignificant and wrong. It is not your place to judge me or my choices. I am not being disrespectful or taking others religious beliefs and throwing them out the window. It doesn't matter that I am not Jewish. It doesn't matter that I am a very active member of my synagogue. What matters is when i want to have my ceremony. I was asking a very simple question and you all have turned this into something that it isn't. Once again thank you. Thank you so very much for your input.
    Your wedding is very much is insignificant in comparison to a major holiday for an entire culture which is not yours. Guess what, if I had my wedding on Christmas, it would be insignificant compared to the fact that IT'S CHRISTMAS. I would expect people to not attend and be offended that I was trying to claim a holiday as my own, and it IS part of my own religion. 

    If you want a new year that can belong to you, why not the Orthodox new year? It's based upon the Julian calendar rather than the Gregorian calendar. It's a Wednesday in 2015.

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  • Jen4948 said:
    Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.
    Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

    I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

    Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Everything that I have read says that getting married on Rosh Hashanah is prohibited/forbidden.

    And I think many of us are using the term "a day of rest" to denote that no work, no weddings, no events (unless religious in nature) are to take place on that holiday.  But rather it is a day to focus solely on your religion and what that holiday means to you.

    But then again, I am still hung up on the "I am not Jewish" but want to use a Jewish holiday as a platform for my wedding bit.

  • I'm still really hung up on her wanting to get married on a High Holy Day for a religion that isn't hers. I really just can't get past that.

    That being said, DH and I got married on the start of Hajj -- we didn't plan it that way, and as Catholics, it's not a holiday to us, but it's not like I looked at a calendar and said, 'Oh, let me co-opt this hugely significant holy day in another religion for my own AWish means!' 

    If you happen to get married on a holy day in someone else's religion, well, that happens. There was a Knottie recently who was upset that her Hindu friends were having a birthday party on Easter Saturday -- well, Easter Saturday is just another Saturday in April for them, so why shouldn't they?

    But to DELIBERATELY co-opt someone's holy day for your own personal, selfish, AWish reasons is just so far beyond the pale of tacky that I've ever experienced on TK I am (almost) rendered speechless.

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    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I'm still really hung up on her wanting to get married on a High Holy Day for a religion that isn't hers. I really just can't get past that.

    That being said, DH and I got married on the start of Hajj -- we didn't plan it that way, and as Catholics, it's not a holiday to us, but it's not like I looked at a calendar and said, 'Oh, let me co-opt this hugely significant holy day in another religion for my own AWish means!' 

    If you happen to get married on a holy day in someone else's religion, well, that happens. There was a Knottie recently who was upset that her Hindu friends were having a birthday party on Easter Saturday -- well, Easter Saturday is just another Saturday in April for them, so why shouldn't they?

    But to DELIBERATELY co-opt someone's holy day for your own personal, selfish, AWish reasons is just so far beyond the pale of tacky that I've ever experienced on TK I am (almost) rendered speechless.

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    This.  All of this.







  • What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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