Ceremony Reception reversal

KGold80

So, I'm an atheist, but I think I'll get married on Easter because I really think those little yellow Peeps would be great for my decor. Plus...bunnies. Doesn't that sound silly? Yet that is kind of what you're saying. You're co-opting a religion's holy day because it signifies the start of their new year and you love the idea of being married on the new year, yet not the actual new year YOU observe. It's actually one of the dumbest ideas I have ever heard. Plus, it's utterly rude and offensive....even to an atheist, so you might want to rethink this whole idea. Are you actually going to TELL people that you picked that date because it's another religion's new year even though it holds no personal significance for you?

Jen4948

lyndausvi said:

Jen4948 said:

Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.

Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.

You are correct-Jewish weddings are not performed on Rosh Hashanah.  I don't think even the most liberal Reform, Reconstructionist, or nondenominational rabbi would consent to perform a wedding at that time.

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jen4948 said:

Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.

Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.

You are correct-Jewish weddings are not performed on Rosh Hashanah.  I don't think even the most liberal Reform, Reconstructionist, or nondenominational rabbi would consent to perform a wedding at that time.

I think she said in a previous post that she wouldn't be getting a Rabbi to perform the ceremony.  She just wants to use the holiday as a spring board for her wedding.  

lyndausvi

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jen4948 said:

Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.

Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.

You are correct-Jewish weddings are not performed on Rosh Hashanah.  I don't think even the most liberal Reform, Reconstructionist, or nondenominational rabbi would consent to perform a wedding at that time.

I think she said in a previous post that she wouldn't be getting a Rabbi to perform the ceremony.  She just wants to use the holiday as a spring board for her wedding.  

still does not answer the question on why she thinks the reception needs to be before the ceremony?

Maggie0829

lyndausvi said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jen4948 said:

Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.

Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.

You are correct-Jewish weddings are not performed on Rosh Hashanah.  I don't think even the most liberal Reform, Reconstructionist, or nondenominational rabbi would consent to perform a wedding at that time.

I think she said in a previous post that she wouldn't be getting a Rabbi to perform the ceremony.  She just wants to use the holiday as a spring board for her wedding.  

still does not answer the question on why she thinks the reception needs to be before the ceremony?

Erm, I think it is because since Rosh Hashana is a sundown to sundown holiday (some people celebrate it for two days not just one) then that means you can't party it up after sundown but she still wants the sundown ceremony for pictures sake.

I honestly have no clue what OP is thinking because the entire thing sounds completely BSC and offensive and weird.

Jen4948

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jen4948 said:

Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.

Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.

You are correct-Jewish weddings are not performed on Rosh Hashanah.  I don't think even the most liberal Reform, Reconstructionist, or nondenominational rabbi would consent to perform a wedding at that time.

I think she said in a previous post that she wouldn't be getting a Rabbi to perform the ceremony.  She just wants to use the holiday as a spring board for her wedding.  

In this post I was answering @lyndausvi's question about whether or not weddings can take place on Rosh Hashanah with this post, not the OP's question, which I answered in another post.

theartistformerlyknownas

Maggie0829 said:

lyndausvi said:

Maggie0829 said:

Jen4948 said:

lyndausvi said:

Jen4948 said:

Ah, just to clear up something PPs have posted: While no work is supposed to be done on Rosh Hashanah, it is not "a day of rest" the way the Sabbath or Yom Kippur are.

Thanks for pointing that out.   But it's still a day that you should not be married correct?

I also do not get why the OP thinks she needs to have the reception AFTER the ceremony.   If she was Jewish it was my understanding you are not to be married that day anyway.  I guess I don't understand getting married on a day that you are not suppose to, but then decide not to have the reception after the ceremony because it's a holy day.  It makes no sense.

Either you are following Jewish faith and not have the wedding at all.  Or you just have a sunset wedding with a reception to follow and it happens to be on Rosh Hashanah?   The semi-combined thing is just plain weird.

You are correct-Jewish weddings are not performed on Rosh Hashanah.  I don't think even the most liberal Reform, Reconstructionist, or nondenominational rabbi would consent to perform a wedding at that time.

I think she said in a previous post that she wouldn't be getting a Rabbi to perform the ceremony.  She just wants to use the holiday as a spring board for her wedding.  

still does not answer the question on why she thinks the reception needs to be before the ceremony?

Erm, I think it is because since Rosh Hashana is a sundown to sundown holiday (some people celebrate it for two days not just one) then that means you can't party it up after sundown but she still wants the sundown ceremony for pictures sake.

I honestly have no clue what OP is thinking because the entire thing sounds completely BSC and offensive and weird.

I think she didn't want her party to have to end early since it's a Sunday and people would need to go home and go to bed. So... come in the early afternoon, get good 'n' shitfaced, then watch her ring in another religion's new year with a wedding, take some pretty sunset pictures, then go home? Mazel tov!

mysticl

amanda6984 said:

Well, thank you all for your opinions. With that said, thank you all so much for making my wedding feel insignificant and wrong. It is not your place to judge me or my choices. I am not being disrespectful or taking others religious beliefs and throwing them out the window. It doesn't matter that I am not Jewish. It doesn't matter that I am a very active member of my synagogue. What matters is when i want to have my ceremony. I was asking a very simple question and you all have turned this into something that it isn't. Once again thank you. Thank you so very much for your input.

Um……if you aren't Jewish how are you an active member of your synagogue? How do you even have a synagogue.

I am not Jewish, however, I belong to one of the traditionally Jewish sororities which means I have a lot of Jewish friends and many of them have shared some of the significant aspects of their faith with me. I wouldn't judge someone for happening to have their wedding on a Jewish holiday since it's just another day to them and they probably didn't even realize it.  However, if I found out that person deliberately picked that day because they wanted to hijack the significance of the day I would be appalled. I might also send a mass Facebook message to all of my sisters telling them about the fiasco.  

sophhabobopha

mysticl said:

amanda6984 said:

Well, thank you all for your opinions. With that said, thank you all so much for making my wedding feel insignificant and wrong. It is not your place to judge me or my choices. I am not being disrespectful or taking others religious beliefs and throwing them out the window. It doesn't matter that I am not Jewish. It doesn't matter that I am a very active member of my synagogue. What matters is when i want to have my ceremony. I was asking a very simple question and you all have turned this into something that it isn't. Once again thank you. Thank you so very much for your input.

Um……if you aren't Jewish how are you an active member of your synagogue? How do you even have a synagogue.

I am not Jewish, however, I belong to one of the traditionally Jewish sororities which means I have a lot of Jewish friends and many of them have shared some of the significant aspects of their faith with me. I wouldn't judge someone for happening to have their wedding on a Jewish holiday since it's just another day to them and they probably didn't even realize it.  However, if I found out that person deliberately picked that day because they wanted to hijack the significance of the day I would be appalled. I might also send a mass Facebook message to all of my sisters telling them about the fiasco.  

I'm wondering this too.

Jen4948

amanda6984 said:

I am not Jewish and neither is my fiance. So, having a Rabbi not preform the ceremony on a High Holy Day is not an issue. I want to be married on Rosh Hashanah because it is the Jewish New Year and what better way to start a new life than on the New Year. For 2015 sunset is at 709, which is the begining of the holiday and I do not want to start my ceremony until then. I understand it is weird for a non-Jewish couple but this is what I want. I will just have the reception late or on a different day. 

What you want is offensive and inconsiderate of not only Jewish people but everyone you want to invite.  Delink your wedding from a holiday that you don't even observe.  And sorry, but just because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it, and we are going to tell you so and judge you for it.  Just by posting here, you asked for our opinions, and yes, opinions = "judgment."

Not only that, having the reception late or on a different day is still rude because receptions are thank-yous to guests for attending the ceremony.  They have to immediately follow the ceremony, not be held hours or days later. 

Maggie0829

Jen4948 said:

amanda6984 said:

I am not Jewish and neither is my fiance. So, having a Rabbi not preform the ceremony on a High Holy Day is not an issue. I want to be married on Rosh Hashanah because it is the Jewish New Year and what better way to start a new life than on the New Year. For 2015 sunset is at 709, which is the begining of the holiday and I do not want to start my ceremony until then. I understand it is weird for a non-Jewish couple but this is what I want. I will just have the reception late or on a different day. 

What you want is offensive and inconsiderate of not only Jewish people but everyone you want to invite.  Delink your wedding from a holiday that you don't even observe.  And sorry, but just because you want something doesn't mean you are entitled to it, and we are going to tell you so and judge you for it.  Just by posting here, you asked for our opinions, and yes, opinions = "judgment."

Not only that, having the reception late or on a different day is still rude because receptions are thank-yous to guests for attending the ceremony.  They have to immediately follow the ceremony, not be held hours or days later. 

This. Honestly what you are wanting to do is like if I decided, as a non-practicing Catholic, to get married under a chuppah and have my H break a glass with his foot because I liked those things. It would be incredibly disrespectful because those are specific Jewish wedding traditions (along with many others), and for someone who is not of that religion to use those traditions because they think they are cool or are nifty is just rude and offensive.