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Snarky Brides

Could anything else have gone wrong??

So, my wedding was this past Sunday, yay for that! Every-damn-thing went wrong! I realized late Saturday night that I forgot to pack a razor. My H (!!) had taken my car to another hotel where he was staying with one of the groomsmen, so I was stuck at the hotel. I called the front desk to ask if they had one, and they sent up this cheap single balde thing that looked like something Dr. Kavorkian would have owned. My MIL and SIL offered to go to WalMart down the street for me. They knew I needed them back by a certain time to start hair and makeup, and they knew I was waiting on them to come back so I could take a shower. An hour and a half later they finally show back up, laughing. MIL says "Oh, haha, you must have thought we got lost". Why, yes, yes I did. To which MIL says "Well, see, we ran into H downstairs and I really wanted to have breakfast with my baby boy just one last time". UMMM, what??? We've all been waiting, and you do realize I'm not sending him off to war, right?? You will see him again. OMG. Then, even despite being made aware we were already late because of her, she still insisted on the hair and makeup lady doing her too, making us even more late! 
Did I mention my wedding was on a deck at the beach??

5 Hours before the ceremony H sends me a text asking if we have a notary. No, I don't think so. Why do we need a notary? Well, apparently, because the friend H insisted on officiating is not authorized by the state to legally marry us. H had his sister notarize the marriage license. I explained to him that she should not have signed the license not only because she didn't officiate, but at least in our state, you can not notarize immediate family members. So, yeah, I don't know that we're even legally married. I do have a friend who does legal research for a living looking into it, though, because she seems to think officiating the wedding of family is the one exception to the rule.

So, wedding and reception fly by in a blur. Monday afternoon H, SIL, and I are packing the hotel room to head back home. I told H to put his bout with my bouquet because I want to have it preserved. We get home and I can't find it. I ask him where it went. He says SIL wanted it, so she took it. Again, ummm, what?? She told him that she wants to put the flowers in a Christmas ornament. He thought it was an easy and cheap gift since she struggles with money. I explained that without being properly preserved, those pretty white flowers will turn ugly brown and we won't want them on our tree. He says Oh, sorry, I didn't think about that.

Tuesday, I'm balancing my checkbook and see a charge of $250 from the hotel. So, I send an email to the coordinator lady asking what the charge is for. She tells me that is a "clean up fee". Clean up for what? Well, apparently, my MOH's 7 y/o daughter was dipping strawberries and marshmallows in the chocolate fountain and pelting people and cars off the balcony. The clean up fee was to cover dry cleaning, cleaning cars, and pressure washing the patio and sidewalk. The coordinator lady tells me several staff members saw the same little girl carry a minimum of 5 plates out to the balcony before my own coordinator finally intervened. H and I are glad this wasn't worse because it certainly could have been. The hotel really could have charged any arbitrary number they wanted and called it a "clean up fee" and because I'm the one who signed the contract, I'd be obligated to pay it. We're also lucky no one called the police because this really could be construed as vandalism, just to name one. So, now I'm struggling with how, or even if, to handle this with my MOH. I'm afraid she'll just get defensive and try to blame the other kids who were there. But, several people have all told me her's was the only one doing it.

Ugh, I've been so frustrated with how everything happened. I wish I could say Well, at least we're married. But, I don't know if we really are. All I can say is At least it was a pretty party. In that respect, everything was perfect; the dress, the flowers, the venue, the food. But, I told H it will be a long time before I forgive his mother and sister.

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Re: Could anything else have gone wrong??

  • APDSS22 said:
    Why on earth did your MIL not just tell your H to grab a table, run the razor up to you and go back down for breakfast? I mean yeah, totally unnecessary for her to have breakfast with him in the first place, but the least she could've done is give you the razor first so you could shave whilst they partook of breakfast foods.
    Exactly! 
    When we got back to our room after the wedding, he asked what held us up. I told him Your mother. I told him what she told me. First he said Well, it's kind of hard to stay mad after that, right? Umm, no, actually, that made it worse! What are you, a 12 y/o momma's boy?? WTH??
    But then, he apologized and said if he had known I needed them back at a specific time he would have made sure they were, and that had he known I was waiting to even shower, he would have gotten the razor to me somehow.
    I love that man. But I think I need some distance from his family for awhile!
  • Holy crap. You absolutely need to tell your MOH her child cost you $250. I know a lot of people would say don't, but allowing her child to pelt PEOPLE with chocolate dipped crap is UNACCEPTABLE. I have 3 future step daughters, and if any one of them did anything even remotely close to this, I'd be SO embarrassed. I'd absolutely pay and probably get you a gift card for a mani pedi as an apology.
    I agree. I would be mortified if it had been my child. But, how do you bring something like this up without making her feel attacked?
    H says we're even more lucky no one got aggressive and came upstairs. That could have ended badly for everyone. I know he's right. I know I'd likely be confrontational if I got hit with a chocolate covered anything!
  • I have nothing to add other than I really, really sorry. If I weren't Knotting on mobile, I would GIF wine for you.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    SoontobeMrsNytes[Deleted User]casey8784themuffinman16
  • Oh dear. Sorry! At least you're definitely married by intention! Congrats!

    I think you have every right to be mad at MIL - that shit's ridiculous. But I'd let SIL off the hook if possible; I'm assuming that she couldn't have controlled MIL's breakfast plans (although she could have brought you the damn razor), and I'm also assuming she didn't know what you wanted to do with the flowers.
    I kind of tend to agree. SIL is known in the family to be quite "flighty". I don't think she thinks much in general. She just kind of follows along. I also assume she didn't know about my plans for the flowers, but H did and he should have gotten them from her. So, I guess I'm really more angry with him about the flowers. But I've been so angry with her and MIL over everything else, I guess it's easy to displace some of the blame.
  • OH EM GEEEEE I'm dying at the kid throwing chocolate marshmallows off the balcony! And then after the laughter, the RAGE because WHO WASTES CHOCOLATE MARSHMALLOWS?! 

    ETA but hey, you're married! (Probably.) And it sounds like nobody caught on fire, so not EVERYTHING went wrong. ;)


    SITB:
    Probably. So, if it turns out I'm not, in fact, legally married, does that entitle me to a PPD? Does any of this entitle me to a PPD?? Just kidding, I swear!
    One of my other bridesmaids told me today this little girl bugged her mother several times during the ceremony if it was over yet because she was bored. I had made seating arrangements to be sure her dad was in the front row and there was an extra seat with him so she could quietly sit down if needed. I'm so glad I was so focused on H I didn't hear her because I likely would not have responded nicely.
  • I have nothing to add other than I really, really sorry. If I weren't Knotting on mobile, I would GIF wine for you.


    Still SITB:
    Thank you!
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    OH EM GEEEEE I'm dying at the kid throwing chocolate marshmallows off the balcony! And then after the laughter, the RAGE because WHO WASTES CHOCOLATE MARSHMALLOWS?! 

    ETA but hey, you're married! (Probably.) And it sounds like nobody caught on fire, so not EVERYTHING went wrong. ;)


    SITB:
    Probably. So, if it turns out I'm not, in fact, legally married, does that entitle me to a PPD? Does any of this entitle me to a PPD?? Just kidding, I swear!
    One of my other bridesmaids told me today this little girl bugged her mother several times during the ceremony if it was over yet because she was bored. I had made seating arrangements to be sure her dad was in the front row and there was an extra seat with him so she could quietly sit down if needed. I'm so glad I was so focused on H I didn't hear her because I likely would not have responded nicely.
    DO OVER!

    image
    image
    SoontobeMrsNytesthemuffinman16
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    At the very least, you should tell your MOH cause her daughters ass needs to be grounded yesterday.

    And your MIL is kinda nuts.

    But hey, you're most likely married! Congrats!
    image



    Anniversary
    SoontobeMrsNytesluckysnorkelthemuffinman16
  • Thank you all for making me feel like I'm not crazy for being upset!
    Jen4948themuffinman16
  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Thank you all for making me feel like I'm not crazy for being upset!
    Not crazy at all.  If I was your MOH I'd want to know that my kid had been behaving that way so I could address it.  So would most of my friends who are parents.  Hopefully, she didn't hit anyone who is allergic to chocolate or strawberries.  
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    wrigleyville
  • mysticl said:



    Thank you all for making me feel like I'm not crazy for being upset!

    Not crazy at all.  If I was your MOH I'd want to know that my kid had been behaving that way so I could address it.  So would most of my friends who are parents.  Hopefully, she didn't hit anyone who is allergic to chocolate or strawberries.  


    SITB, again:
    OMG, I didn't even think about allergies!


  • Thank you all for making me feel like I'm not crazy for being upset!

    We always say here, 'As long as, at the end of the day you got married, it was a success.' You can't even for sure say that right now, so I think you have every right in the world to be upset by this.



    I've been trying to keep it together and in perspective, but this legal issue has had me near tears for days!
  • But, here are a couple pics from guests :)

    thisismynickname2KeptInStitcheschibiyuimanillabar
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    At least the list of things that went wrong don't include your wedding day look. You look fabulous! I love the first pic of you walking with your [insert relationship status here]. 
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    But, here are a couple pics from guests :)
    So beeeaaauuuuuutiful! You look like incredible and everyone else does too!!!!
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image
  • ElcaB said:

    At least the list of things that went wrong don't include your wedding day look. You look fabulous! I love the first pic of you walking with your [insert relationship status here]. 


    That's my Dad! He looks awesome for 67!
  • My H just had to get a pic with his beloved motorcycle!
  • You look fantastic and I LOVE your bouquet!
    SoontobeMrsNytes
  • Thank you! I actually just dropped it off this morning with the preservation people. They all commented on how well it has held up. I told them when I met with my florist I specifically requested flowers that would preserve well. Then I kept it in the fridge for the last few days. I was so happy with it I cried when they were delivered!
  • ShellD13ShellD13 Can't get there from here member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    My H just had to get a pic with his beloved motorcycle!
    First let me say congratulations!  You looked fantastic and I'm glad to read that everything else worked out well.  I don't know what state you are in but I'm a notary and our state does allow for the notarization of marriage licenses for immediate family members (but that is it).  Hopefully, your state has a similar exemption for weddings.  I'm sorry for the drama that your MIL, SIL, and MOH's daughter caused. 

    My FI and I have been trying to figure out a way to incorporate his motorcycle as our getaway vehicle - our restaurant is only 3 miles from the ceremony site and it is a very informal wedding.  But no one else in the party has their motorcycle endorsement so no one else can ride the bike to the ceremony site.  Not to mention that I'd have to practice riding "side saddle" since trying to get on the bike in my full length gown would be more of a show than anyone would want to see... 
    Anniversary
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You looked amazing!

    I'm sorry to hear all the crap you had to go through. I would take all that wedding day bad luck as a sign that you will have a very long and happy marriage!
                                 Anniversary
    imageimageimage


     

  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Your pictures are gorgeous! When you get stressed about the "status", just look at the pictures. Look at how HAPPY you look. You are definitely married; you just need to figure out the license.

    My friends forgot to bring theirs to their wedding (oops), so they weren't legal until the following Tuesday.

    I love those beachy colors.

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Your BMs also are wearing different shoes. A PPD is very necessary. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    SoontobeMrsNytesd2va
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Great pictures! You looked gorgeous! 

    And I'd be hella pissed about what your MOH's daughter did. I would definitely tell her. 

  • Your BMs also are wearing different shoes. A PPD is very necessary. 


    I needed that laugh, thank you!
    phiraShesSoCold
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