Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

FI says he wants to see the dress...


Re: FI says he wants to see the dress...

  • arrippaarrippa member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer


    Why is the one see-through on top? Is it supposed to be that way, or is the top not finished? I don't understand that part, let alone the use of albino stork feathers for the skirt on the other one.
    I believe that is the (in)famous designer Pnina Tournai, whose work is popular among those brides who really want to look "klassy" but also "like a hooker." (sarcastic bs from me or exact words from Say Yes to the Dress? You decide!)
    I am shocked that you aren't familiar with "The Panina," HisGirl! It is literally the only dress on earth you can say "that ugly, tacky Panina dress" and practically everyone on earth knows what you are referring to...I would have said everyone, but at least one person (you) is fortunate enough to not have seen the retina burning monstrosity until now!

    Everyone saw my dress before the wedding except DH. Even his parents, grandma, the flower girl and her mom. Just not DH :)
    You said 'panina' and I read 'panini' and now I'm hungry. So there's that.

    Clearly I'm watching the wrong reality TV. I watch 'True Tori,' which is a damn trainwreck but I love it. I've never watched any of the bridal shows, but apparently I need to start, if this is the entertainment they provide!'

    I don't get the appeal of the see-through dresses. To me, they look unfinished and kind of ugly. But I guess it's the appeal of people seeing it and KNOWING that it's a designer dress and KNOWING that you paid a boat-load of money for it. 
    I am glad that it's finally over. It's my been secret guilty pleasure for the last few weeks.
  • @KatieinBkIn That dress is gorgeous! Jaws are going to hit the floor when you walk down the aisle.
  • jenndeirdrejenndeirdre member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited May 2014
    I'm not trying dresses for months still but I've been trying to just show him ideas that I like to get his options but he has no interest on any of it and doesn't want to see what I choose. When I do go for a dress it will only be my two friends, I don't want too many options so I'll be keeping quiet.
  • I told FI mine is orange with polka dots and sleeves. I don't want him to know even the general shape of it. I DID get him to fess up the other day that he hopes it's a mermaid style to show off the booty, which it is (and does).

    I've shown lots of other people pictures on my phone though. Only my mom, step-mom and sisters have seen me in it personally. I'll probably bring FMIL to a fitting because I know she'd love to be part of that. Her older daughter passed away 4 years ago and FSIL claims she'll never get married so it might be her only shot.

  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    Absolutely stunning dress!!!!
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  • I am really really excited to wear my dress. My dad saw me in it (he was there when it got delivered to the house). I tried it on for Fi, so he saw me in it (but he didn't see it with my belt or make up or my veil or anything). I did kind of want the first time he sees me in it to be at the wedding/first look, but I really love him and his opinion is important to me and I want him to be excited with me. Plus, when I tried it on he got really excited and took me to the bedroom. So there's that. I guess that means that he likes it. :D
  • My FI has seen my dress. It is hanging in the closet so he sees it every time he opens the door. Lol. He hasn't seen me in it though.
  • Hubby wanted to be traditional & not see the dress before I walked down the isle. The only people that saw the dress before the wedding were, my parents, my bridesmaid, one of the BM daughters, my photographer
  • As much as I want to show my FI my dress, he refuses to see it until the wedding, so I have kept mum even though it's been in our closet for the last few months. I make him watch a lot of SYTTD and he knows the references to the "ugly Pnina" and such but all he knows about my dress is that is a Lazaro but has no idea shape/color/fabric regarding my dress.

    He says that all he knows is that it will be a long white dress (t's actually blush) but does not want to know anything else until the day of. Sigh..
  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited June 2014
    @katieinbkln that dress is gorgeous! He is going to love it and will be so happy he waited to see you all put together. FI is curious about my dress but very adamant that he does not want to see it until the day of. I have it hanging in our closet at home and I trust he hasn't taken a peek.
  • I have showed a phone pic of me in my dress to anyone who was willing to look. I haven't showed FI, only because he doesn't want to see it. He wants to be surprised.
  • @katieinbkln Your dress is beautiful!!

  • DH was there when I found and bought "the dress". His opinion was the only one that really counted to me anyway. I had a horrible time trying on dresses on my first go, so to have him there was very calming for me! I don't think it mattered to him at all, but he knew it was important to me.
  • Damn that's a gorgeous dress.

    The only people who have seen me in my dress personally are the people who went shopping with me - mom, sis (MOH), and Dad.  My dad has always helped pick out dresses for all of my formal events and school dances.  He's the one who found my dress and got the sales lady to get me to try it on. Kudos to Dad

    I refuse to let FI see my dress it's currently at my moms place, and then it will be at my Nana's house for safe keeping.  The only things he has seen , are the shoes since I have to break them in, and the hair comb I bought,  But that's only because he's my best friend and he knows how excited I get when I get packages in the mail, so he really wanted to see what was in the box when my comb came in because I was literally jumping up and down.

    I have shown other people pics of me in the dress, but that's only because my dress was discontinued the day I bought it so there are literally NO pics anywhere of it on the internet.  All these people though are like adopted parents though and its only like 5 of them.  It will still be a big shock when I where it on my big day.


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  • I don't have my dress yet but I imagine I will be showing pictures to a lot of people. I never pictured myself as the kind of girl to show off my ring but I love it so much I found myself doing just that for the first couple of weeks! I reeeeeeally don't want my fi to see  the dress before the wedding, though.
  • I think as a general rule of thumb, it's likely wise to only show the people whose opinion really, really matters to you. I have no problem describing mine to anyone who asks ("oh, it has chiffon and beading") but I wouldn't want to show many folks who are going to be guests. 

    Part of my view comes from my own behavior. I can think of at least two people who showed me pictures of their dresses and I had to fake enthusiasm. In my head I was thinking, "Ugh, that trend needs to die," or, "well, that's boring and cookie-cutter."   What I said instead was, "Oh, you're going to be such a beautiful bride!"  

    I had no intention of showing FI my dress and he doesn't want to see it. I went through a brief period of dress regret and showed him some newer designs, none of which he liked, so I'm glad I got his opinion and didn't get anything else.  

  • My FI is my best friend and my main shopping partner and I'm like DYING to show him the dress and get his opinion, but he REFUSES to look at it. and he's not captain tradition either! I can't blame him but my worst fear is that he finds it underwhelming on the day of. I have a very strong sense of day-to-day style, with lots of statement jewelry and bold patterns, and I'm going much more understated (for me personally) for the wedding, I wouldn't want him to be too shocked or disappointed. Doesn't help that he hasn't liked any of the dresses I did show him just to gauge his opinion.
    Bah! I realize it's supposed to be a gamble, but I loathe gambling and I can't keep anything to myself lol.
  • Not going to show FI the dress, nor does he want to see it.  I have, however, shown pictures of me in the dress to whoever else asks to see it.  It's just too exciting to keep a secret from every single person!  About 5 people have seen the dress in person.  

    I did show FI pictures of the other dresses I tried on that I didn't like, and he didn't like them either.  He bought me the jewelry so he's seen that, don't think he's seen the shoes and if he did there's no way he'd remember what they looked like months later so I'm good there!  
  • izza2izza2 member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its

    Also, side question: Do/did any of you show the dress to any friends or family apart from the FI before the wedding? Part of me (an irrational part? I have no idea) wants the entire thing to be as secret as possible so I can surprise people with it, but the other part is like, "what's the surprise? It's a pretty white-ish dress, you look pretty in it, but it's not exactly pushing the bridal envelope." 

    To distill: Who saw your dress before the big day, and would you have done it any differently looking back?
    My mother and my FI have seen my wedding dress - they went with me to pick it out and then when it came in after we'd ordered it in my size. The only other person who's seen the dress is a friend that we've been helping do some repairs around her house; she kept asking so I showed her a couple of photos when I first picked out the dress.
    I wouldn't have wanted to go without my FI. Having my mum there was a guarantee, but being able to have my FI there for that was fantastic. I know most of the time it's a surprise so he can see you all done up on  your wedding day - but I figure he was there, I know he already loves me, he loves the dress, but he still won't know what I'll look like with my hair and nails and makeup done and in my heels and everything. He's still getting that bit of a surprise that's "expected".
    It's also nice to know I won't have to worry that he doesn't like the way I look in the dress, whether I loved it or not. I would've been so worried about that if he hadn't have come.

    It was kind of funny - he knew before I really did that it was the dress I was going to get. I pretty well knew, but still wanted to look around "just in case", and he was like "well, we'll go look, but I know that dress is yours". And he was totally right, but I wasn't listening. :P
  • My FI really wanted to see mine also. Luckily mine was found at a chain that on their website allows you to dress your wedding party in their fashions using computer generated people. He was shown the print out ... It gives him the idea w/o seeing the actual thing... He was good with that.

    As for who has been shown, my mom, MOH, and couple of my friends. Its been very hard not showing everyone. Dad will get to see it soon ;)
  • My fiance hasn't asked to see it yet but I'm the one who is dying to show him! I am so excited and the only ones who saw it are my family that was at the appointment and my bridesmaids (2 are my sisters anyways) and 2 of my best guy friends. No one else... for now! But I wouldn't show my fiance, although its killing me to hide it. I am not good at secrets!
    Best Wishes! 

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  • I've pretty much shown everyone and their mom my dress. Except for FI.

    My cousin got married last September and at her bachelorette party some of her bridesmaids were talking with her about it. I got all excited and said "oh! Can I see?" and she got all awkward and "um, it's a secret." about it. So that was kind of off-putting.

    I think it's fine if you want to keep it a secret, but like with wedding planning, avoid talking about it with people who you don't want to know about it. I don't think anything would have been ruined if I had seen a picture of her in it - it won't be the same on my wedding day with my hair and makeup all done.
  • I went shopping with my mom, I originally wanted my fiance to meet us at the dress store but by the time I received his text message that he was off work, we were already checking out. He is very traditional in that he does not want to see it until the day of the wedding, however, I am the type of person that if the dress were hanging in our own closet, I would be all over trying to show him, thus, my dress is at my cousins house until alterations. I am doing a first look not only with my fiance, but with my dad who has not seen my dress either. The only people that have seen my dress are my mom, my sister, cousin who is also a BM, future SIL who is also a BM, his mom and grandma, and a few coworkers.
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  • When I first found my dress I was dying to show my fiance but he wanted to be surprised. I'm glad I didn't show him now.

    Unfortunately last night I had a picture of my dress and when I was showing him a video it kinda flashed up, I am hoping it was too quick and that he did not notice! I pretended like nothing happened so he wouldn't realize...

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  • FI doesn't want to see it.  He knows the color and it has no sleeves and a corset back, but so do a lot of dresses so I don't think that cheats the surprise in any way.

    My dress is hiding at my mom and dad's house.  I sneak peeks of it when I visit.  Only my mom and 2 bridesmaids have seen it on me.  Only my mom will be with me for the final fitting.  

    My dad is afraid of my dress.  It resides in my old bedroom for now, and he avoids that closet like the plague.  My mom told him the cat might be in that closet once (it's a quiet happy place for her) and to go grab the cat.  He was like "I am NOT going in there!"  I think he's afraid that he will break my dress or something so he avoids it at all costs.  Something I wonder if he doesn't want to see it and be surprised, even though I showed it to him briefly when I brought it home.

    I have pinned several dresses on my pinterest board to throw off FI from which one is really mine ;)
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  • FI doesn't want to see it and it's living at my MOh's house so there can be no peeking! He has no clue what it looks like, nor will he till the ceremony. He filmed a wedding a few weeks ago and said the girl had a dress that he thought I might wear. While it was pretty, it could not be more different from mine! Hers-lace, sleeves, fit and flare, train. Mine- satin and tulle, strapless sweetheart neckline, ball gown.
  • They always want to see it! I recommend trying to wait. The look on his face will be priceless. As far as showing friends, family, etc...My bride friends always take pictures at fittings and send them, so I don't see any problem with that. 
  • I'm not feeling too inclined to share mine before the big day.  I've sent designer photos to my MOBs, and my FI (he's way too involved in this) and that's it.  He won't see me in the dress until the day.  I may have to share it with my sister, as I saw hers.  But that's what she gets for ordering it here and having me mail it to her because dresses are much cheaper in the US than they are in Australia.  I really didn't want to take responsibility for posting the dress unless I knew it was flaw free.  

    I might change my mind closer to the date, but it's a wait and see thing.  I actually sent all my Aussie BMs a picture of me in a dress that is the complete opposite of what I've chosen, because that's the kind of annoying person I am.  They were desperate to see something.  And in any event, the boutique that had the sample of my dress didn't allow photos.  And the sample was size 20; I ended up ordering a size 8, which will need to be taken in.  I don't think that sample dress will resemble the finished product very much by the time everything is fitted.  Plus, I'm making a couple of alterations to the dress aside from the size, and the seamstress I'll be using is totally fine with this.  
  • I told FI mine is orange with polka dots and sleeves. I don't want him to know even the general shape of it. I DID get him to fess up the other day that he hopes it's a mermaid style to show off the booty, which it is (and does).

    I've shown lots of other people pictures on my phone though. Only my mom, step-mom and sisters have seen me in it personally. I'll probably bring FMIL to a fitting because I know she'd love to be part of that. Her older daughter passed away 4 years ago and FSIL claims she'll never get married so it might be her only shot.
    I did a similar thing. I told my husband at my dress was neon green with feathers. When I was engaged, I was ALWAYS in client meetings, and they often asked me questions about the wedding during downtime, so I showed them pics. They were excited for me. Most of my family and bridal party saw pics of the dress, and one of my bridesmaids came with me when I got it altered since she wanted to see it.
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