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Customs and Traditions

FI says he wants to see the dress...

KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
I'm not Captain Tradition or anything, but I have a feeling he'll secretly be let down if he sees it A. not on me, B. pre-alteration, or C. without the hair/makeup/general ambiance of a wedding. Should I just ignore his puppy eyes and tell him to suck it up and NO PEEKIN', or is there some way to give him hints/clues that will get him excited about it but not ruin the surprise? 

Also, side question: Do/did any of you show the dress to any friends or family apart from the FI before the wedding? Part of me (an irrational part? I have no idea) wants the entire thing to be as secret as possible so I can surprise people with it, but the other part is like, "what's the surprise? It's a pretty white-ish dress, you look pretty in it, but it's not exactly pushing the bridal envelope." 

To distill: Who saw your dress before the big day, and would you have done it any differently looking back?
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This baby knows exactly how I feel
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Re: FI says he wants to see the dress...

  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Oh my gosh, I showed my dress to everybody who seemed willing to look, including DH. I had the photo saved on my phone and everything. I get really excited about things and can't keep a secret. It was still kind of a surprise on the wedding day to see everything all put together.
    lc07kasasr1024
  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I'm not allowing my FI to see my dress until our first look. The only people who have seen it ON me are my mom, his mom, my MOH, and his daughter. Pictures (not of me wearing it) have been shown to a couple of other people, but otherwise, I'm not feeling particularly share-y (I know that's not a word) about it. Not that it's some super fantabulous over the top dress from a big name designer, but I'm still fairly mums the word about it. My wedding is 3 weeks away and I doubt I will look back and wish I had shown my dress to more people.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker


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    khaugsness
  • I wore my aunt's dress, so anyone at her wedding (mom, her, her husband) had seen mine.

    Mom saw it during the alteration process, and Dad saw it on me the night before the wedding.

    DH saw a photo of it (again -- family heirloom, there are photos of it being worn the first time) before I wore it, but didn't see it on me or in person until our first look photos.

    Other than that, my BMs saw it as I was getting dressed and waiting in the bridal suite.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    lc07
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I showed some friends and family members. My husband was adamant that he not see any part of what I would be wearing, including the jewelry.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I showed a few people but not many (didn't want too many opinions/comments).  It was all I could do not to show my H because I was super excited about my dress and not to sound overly cheesy or anything, H is seriously my best friend, next to my Mom, and I just wanted to share my dress with my best friend.  But in the end he didn't see it until the day of, but it was so freaking hard!

    KatieinBklnlilacck28
  • My mom, my sister, my BFF, FI's mom and FI's sister were there when I found the dress and bought it.  

    I showed pictures of the dress from the catalog to a few people at work, and a picture of me in the dress to FI's aunt.  

    Dad saw the dress on the hanger the day we brought it home.  He probably won't see it on me until the day of the wedding.

    My sister also helped me try on my dress this past weekend because my first alterations appointment is in a few weeks and I was worried my dress wasn't going to fit (good news was it zipped all the way!).

    FI doesn't get to see the dress until our First Look.  He likes watching the dress shows on TLC like SYTTD and I Found the Gown, but is always careful not to say anything bad about any dresses until I do.  He doesn't want to chance saying something about a dress like mine.  He knows it is white (ivory) and he knows it doesn't have feathers or these weird skirts that we see on tv all the time.  That is it.
    KatieinBklnjaprincess24
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
     He knows it is white (ivory) and he knows it doesn't have feathers or these weird skirts that we see on tv all the time.  That is it.
    I'm dying to know what "these weird skirts" are!
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I showed a few people but not many (didn't want too many opinions/comments).  It was all I could do not to show my H because I was super excited about my dress and not to sound overly cheesy or anything, H is seriously my best friend, next to my Mom, and I just wanted to share my dress with my best friend.  But in the end he didn't see it until the day of, but it was so freaking hard!
    This seems like what my situation is going to be like. (I am also best friends with FI, no cheese-hate here!). Like, I know he'll love it, and I really WANT to share it with him but it seems like it may be worth delaying that gratification. 
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Personally, I wouldn't show my dress to FI. I want him to wait until our first look. 

    I showed pictures of me in my dress to a co-worker and to some close friends. 

  • edited May 2014
    I don't want to offend anyone, but FI and I think these are kind of weird.  It works on some people, but still looks kind of weird to me. For example:

    image

    image

    image

    Ok this whole dress is kind of weird:

    image

    Hopefully these pics work since I have never tried to post one before.

    ETA:  Bummer.  Looks like two of them didn't.  No idea why.


  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    @nikkijay333 about 50% of them posted. I totally see what you mean about the skirts--froofy was never my thing, personally. I ended up going with a trumpet silhouette. 
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    Knottie88144401
  • @KatieinBkIn  Yes, exactly.  I went in thinking A-Line, but ended up with a slight drop waist chiffon over satin.  It has just enough detail on the bodice and the skirt doesn't have any embellishment.  It's light, flowy, and beautiful.  The trumpet silhouette is beautiful and I bet you look gorgeous in it!

    I added links to the other dresses above.
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    @KatieinBkIn  Yes, exactly.  I went in thinking A-Line, but ended up with a slight drop waist chiffon over satin.  It has just enough detail on the bodice and the skirt doesn't have any embellishment.  It's light, flowy, and beautiful.  The trumpet silhouette is beautiful and I bet you look gorgeous in it!

    I added links to the other dresses above.


    SIDB

    Oh dear god, that last one! It looks like a Project Runway designer was forced to use toilet paper for their "unconventional materials" challenge. (Which...is totally fine if that is your style, I am not judging, oh to hell with it, yes I am! I'm not nice.)
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't want to offend anyone, but FI and I think these are kind of weird.  It works on some people, but still looks kind of weird to me. For example:

    image

    image

    image

    Ok this whole dress is kind of weird:

    image

    Hopefully these pics work since I have never tried to post one before.

    ETA:  Bummer.  Looks like two of them didn't.  No idea why.


    What in the hell?  Is that last one supposed to be a dress?  It looks like an albino Big Bird.

    [Deleted User]KRD2014Knottie3401862
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary

    What in the hell?  Is that last one supposed to be a dress?  It looks like an albino Big Bird.
    I say if you're going to do it, do it right: 
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    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Son of a bitch, my pic didn't work and now I'm stuck in underline? Gah! What I was trying to say was:

    image
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited May 2014
    BALLS! It was Bjork. It was Bjork's swan dress, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW COMPUTER DEMONS?


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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    Maggie0829theartistformerlyknownasKRD2014mrsmagicgeek
  • H saw the picture that my dress is based on (custom made dress). He didn't see the actual thing till our first look. I showed my bridesmaids and my parents before the wedding.




  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    FI helped me pick my dress, and I'm helping her pick her suit. We like dressing each other. 
    image
    image

    KatieinBklnkitty8403rajahmdkasasr1024
  • I don't want to offend anyone, but FI and I think these are kind of weird.  It works on some people, but still looks kind of weird to me. For example:

    image

    image

    image

    Ok this whole dress is kind of weird:

    image

    Hopefully these pics work since I have never tried to post one before.

    ETA:  Bummer.  Looks like two of them didn't.  No idea why.



    SITDB

    Why is the one see-through on top? Is it supposed to be that way, or is the top not finished? I don't understand that part, let alone the use of albino stork feathers for the skirt on the other one.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary

    SITDB

    Why is the one see-through on top? Is it supposed to be that way, or is the top not finished? I don't understand that part, let alone the use of albino stork feathers for the skirt on the other one.
    I believe that is the (in)famous designer Pnina Tournai, whose work is popular among those brides who really want to look "klassy" but also "like a hooker." (sarcastic bs from me or exact words from Say Yes to the Dress? You decide!)
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    theartistformerlyknownaspenguin44lovesclimbing
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited May 2014

    SITDB

    Why is the one see-through on top? Is it supposed to be that way, or is the top not finished? I don't understand that part, let alone the use of albino stork feathers for the skirt on the other one.
    I believe that is the (in)famous designer Pnina Tournai, whose work is popular among those brides who really want to look "klassy" but also "like a hooker." (sarcastic bs from me or exact words from Say Yes to the Dress? You decide!)
    I am shocked that you aren't familiar with "The Panina," HisGirl! It is literally the only dress on earth you can say "that ugly, tacky Panina dress" and practically everyone on earth knows what you are referring to...I would have said everyone, but at least one person (you) is fortunate enough to not have seen the retina burning monstrosity until now!

    Everyone saw my dress before the wedding except DH. Even his parents, grandma, the flower girl and her mom. Just not DH :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    carliealissa
  • Thus far, only my mom, seamstress and MOH have seen the dress at all, and only the first two have seen it on me. FMIL is campaigning hard, but she can't keep a secret. FI can't peek even if he wanted to -- the shop has it anyway!
  • princessleia22princessleia22 Oceanfront Property in Arizona member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    edited May 2014
    I refuse to let FI see my dress. And if I keep it at home, I'm worried he will peek, so it's staying with my seamstress until last minute then at my FMIL's, who agreed to hide it for me. I really want to see the look on his face when I walk in all dressed up. And I think seeing any part of it would reduce that moment. The only thing he has seen is my jewelry, because he bought it for me as a (pre)wedding gift. Nobody, besides sales person and seamstress, have actually seen me in the dress. And only seamstress has seen it with all accessories. I've shown photos to my mom, BM's, and FMIL, but none of them have seen the complete dress with sash and everything (I bought a plain blue sash & had beading added). A few other people have seen sales photos of the dress, but not of me wearing it. For the most part I want to keep people in the dark until wedding day. Even my mom & BM's, I want to keep the whole final look secret until day of. And my dad saw sales photo, but I'm keeping the rest secret from him to do a first look photo with him on morning of wedding.

    image 

  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I did not let my DH see the dress.  I also did not share it with friends or family except for my mom and DHs mom.

  • SITDB

    Why is the one see-through on top? Is it supposed to be that way, or is the top not finished? I don't understand that part, let alone the use of albino stork feathers for the skirt on the other one.
    I believe that is the (in)famous designer Pnina Tournai, whose work is popular among those brides who really want to look "klassy" but also "like a hooker." (sarcastic bs from me or exact words from Say Yes to the Dress? You decide!)
    I am shocked that you aren't familiar with "The Panina," HisGirl! It is literally the only dress on earth you can say "that ugly, tacky Panina dress" and practically everyone on earth knows what you are referring to...I would have said everyone, but at least one person (you) is fortunate enough to not have seen the retina burning monstrosity until now!

    Everyone saw my dress before the wedding except DH. Even his parents, grandma, the flower girl and her mom. Just not DH :)
    You said 'panina' and I read 'panini' and now I'm hungry. So there's that.

    Clearly I'm watching the wrong reality TV. I watch 'True Tori,' which is a damn trainwreck but I love it. I've never watched any of the bridal shows, but apparently I need to start, if this is the entertainment they provide!'

    I don't get the appeal of the see-through dresses. To me, they look unfinished and kind of ugly. But I guess it's the appeal of people seeing it and KNOWING that it's a designer dress and KNOWING that you paid a boat-load of money for it. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    theartistformerlyknownasHauteRoxy
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I don't get the appeal of the see-through dresses. To me, they look unfinished and kind of ugly. But I guess it's the appeal of people seeing it and KNOWING that it's a designer dress and KNOWING that you paid a boat-load of money for it. 
    They'll know you're tacky, too! 

    All I know is, for that price, it should have four wheels, a motor, and leather interior (if not all-wheel drive). 
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Nope, FI doesn't want to see it and I don't want him to see it either.  I want "the moment" when I am walking down the aisle and he sees me in the dress and everything for the first time.  He trusts my taste so he knows I won't be in a Pnina or some other ridiculous dress.  As for who else I will show the dress to before the wedding, my mom and perhaps my sisters.  I want most of the guests to be surprised; IDK about you guys but I am always curious about 'the dress' when I go to a wedding.
    image
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Gosh, it feels like everyone has seen my dress(es) except FI. He's seen the the cultural and reception dresses, but not the ceremony dress. He doesn't want to see it, either, which helps. He's actually avoided going into my dressing room for fear he might accidentally stumble upon my dress. Such a cutie.

    And now, OP, I think it's only fair for you to post a picture of your dress so we can ooh and aah over it!
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    edited May 2014
    Gosh, it feels like everyone has seen my dress(es) except FI. He's seen the the cultural and reception dresses, but not the ceremony dress. He doesn't want to see it, either, which helps. He's actually avoided going into my dressing room for fear he might accidentally stumble upon my dress. Such a cutie.

    And now, OP, I think it's only fair for you to post a picture of your dress so we can ooh and aah over it!


    SIDB

    Here she is:
     image
    image
    Editing to add the link to the site, since those pics are baby-small: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Strapless-Fit-and-Flare-Sequin-Gown-with-Gold-Lace-SWG605
    image
    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    ashleyepJCbride2015
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