...we decide on a beach wedding.
Which, okay, is not OFF my list. I want a small wedding, and the beach is the perfect way to say Oh, it's just close family, and then have a "your presence is a gift" kind of casual reception at a somewhat later date. Besides, I love the beach - particularly the beaches I would be getting married at. The places I have considered (prior to her "offer") are places that I've spent vacations since I was a little girl. But I have a couple of ... reasons to hesitate, let's say, when it comes to her offer.
One thing is, we got engaged on May 6th, but our wedding is not until October of 2015. Right off the bat, FMIL started dropping far-from-subtle hints that she wanted us to get married on the beach. I'm not against a beach wedding, but I want our wedding to reflect us, and I'm not certain that a beach wedding would do that at all. I love the beach, but I'm not sure my fiancé does. Also - that is a FULL 16 months between proposal and "I do"s. I jumped right in at first, but it stressed me out so much that I stepped back.
Another thing is that she said she offered up to $X amount. Meaning, I assume, that if we came in under that amount, she'd pay it - and that would be that. Which isn't a big deal, it's a generous offer, but if she's going to give us $X, I would prefer for $X to go into my savings account, and then I do with it as I see fit - and if that means getting a less-expensive wedding pulled together and having some money left over to put back towards a VERY nice dinner out with our families after the ceremony, then great. If I choose to do a less-expensive wedding and pay for lodging for everyone, sweet. If I decide to blow the whole $X on the wedding and pay for a lower-key but still nice dinner, that's fine too.
The largest issue, though, is that it came with the caveat of "if you have a beach wedding". I don't necessarily NOT want a beach wedding, but if the $X that she offered only applies to that particular option, then any other option I might have had in mind is, essentially, off the table. And while the $X that she offered is not a large amount of money by any means, it is substantially more than enough to make me consider it.
I guess my question is - should I run the risk of offending her by asking for clarification on whether it's $X, outright, and if I don't spend that much on the beach wedding I can use the rest for the reception/honeymoon/whatever else I see fit? Should I even bring up the possibility that we might not want to get married at the beach? Or am I being a horrible selfish person for even questioning the offer? (I feel like it's the last one.)