Separate or Joint?

AddieCake

We have his, mine, and ours.

jenndeirdre

We have a joint middle account as we say, that our mortgage comes out of. Some other bills come out of that account but I only put mortgage money in it. I'd need to keep my own main account though.

LabLove86

We also have personal and a joint.

Joint with each of us depositing $XXX into it each month for house-hold expenses. 

Personal that we do our own things with - we each actually have several personal accounts. I personally have a checking, general savings, First Home Clubs Savings (home-buying savings program through my bank), then my "safety net" line of credit for accidental over-draws (which hasn't happened in years)

You just have to find what works for you as a couple - who's better with the money, budgeting, ect. 

Knottie37373131

We each have our own accounts and we will also share a joint account within a few months. We will be married May 2015. We plan on depositing money into the shared account for our savings and for our larger purchases as well as rent. We also want to keep our own accounts so that we each have our own spending money as well.

sarahufl

I find this post intriguing. It is really interesting to see how everyone manages their money. FI and I have started talking about this more recently and haven't really landed on a solution. We don't live together right now and we are both very independent, so our finances are too. We are also very fortunate that we have well-paying jobs, although he makes significantly more than I do.

Neither of us have debt and we are both very good with money. This was honestly something that would be a deal breaker for me, the management of money is something I take really seriously. We already tend to spend money for each other without reconciling the differences (I will buy plane tickets for a trip and not expect him to pay me back, he always pays for dinner, etc). 

I think we will go with a his, mine, ours system and just clear big purchases. Neither of us are spendy people and he works hard, so if he wants to go out and buy a new computer, I certainly won't object.

behsco90

emmyg65 said:

We combined all finances, both assets and debt (checking and savings account, credit card debt, my student loans). It's just a lot easier for us, and we believe in joint property so it's not an issue. We do each get an "allowance" each month that we keep in our own accounts to spend as we wish, and we each have an individual credit card. But everything else is joint and we pay all expenses together. We shifted to this model a few months before we got married.

This is pretty much what BF and I have talked about doing once we live together/get married.  Right now, we pay each other back or split it (like cell phone bills, travel, dinner etc) and we both get annoyed with keeping track of who owes who what and how much.  So we are both looking forward to joining accounts and money.  I think we will each still have our own credit cards, for us to spend our "allowance" however we want.

huskypuppy14

jenna8984 said:

Our system works as it is now so we probably will not change it once we get married. I am the financial guru and he is not as good with money. So we have our own accounts. He gives me "rent" which is 50% of our monthly bills and then I pay all those bills. So the amount he gives me is for everything we share- mortgage, cable, electric, trash, groceries (rounded to a set amount).

We are each responsbile to pay our bills that are not joint (car, insurance, gas, cell) and we can do what we wish with the remainder in our accounts. As long as the bills are paid, the rest is our own but we mostly try to save and consult each other on any purchase over $100.

When we book a vacation or something, I book it and he pays me 50%. Neither of us make enough to be the sugar daddy and pay 100% and even if one of us did we like feeling like an equal team.

We pretty much do exactly this too. But we don't consult each other with any purchases made with our own money. We are both pretty good with money, so it's not an issue.

However, I think we are going to put each other as users on our main bank accounts (my main checking, his main checking). But we won't use each others account unless there is an emergency.

 We just bought a house, and we got a check with both our names separated by "and". My bank said that either we both had to be there in person to deposit it, or I had to put his name on the account. So we might do that soon.

Cookie Pusher

Separate, and I highly doubt that will change after we get married.

clarke10

We have everything joint. It just works better for us. We both trust each other and consult one another before making any large purchases. 

MrsMack10612

Between the two of us we have about 7 or 8 banks accounts.  Three of them are joint accounts and most of them are from before we lived together or got married (10 yrs & 1.5 yrs ago respectively).

We are (hopefully) buying a new house soon and we'll be making some changes in the accounts (possibly closing at least one).

The joint accounts are for different things. One is for utilities/house repairs/condo fees and some dinners out and we each deposit equal (or close to equal amounts), the second was where we put all the savings for the wedding, we continue to put the same amount in that account to pay the credit card, some savings and an emergency fund, the third is what the mortgage is paid out of.  The last two we put $$ in based on our incomes.  H makes more than I do so it's relative.

We still have personal checking and savings accounts.  He doesn't want to pay for my hair & nails, I don't want to pay for his brewing supplies

The money is very much his, hers & ours.  We don't nickel & dime each other if I got it this time and he gets it next time, but we do try to be fair about it.  There is enough our money in various accounts for covering one or the other if the shit hits the fan.  But we also work out how to pay back the our money/accounts if we do need to borrow.  That money is usually earmarked for something and it can throw off a savings plan if it's not there when we need it.

I agree with PPs that you have to do what works for you and what you are comfortable with.  Just because we or anyone doesn't combine all their finances and make it all "our" money doesn't mean there are trust issues; it's all in what works.

lovesclimbing

Joint. We talk before either of us makes large purchases (large being anything over $100 or so.)

SammiNJonni

We have two joint checking and savings accounts. As it is right now even though both names are on all four accounts I have one checking account and he has the other. (We do not currently live together) My savings account is the wedding fund and his is the emergency fund. We both deposit equally into the accounts and have access to all in case money needs to be moved around. When we move in together one checking account will be switched to our bills and the other spending money.

LDay2014

Joint chequing, separate savings. Plus all of FIs stock investments are in his name.
He's a money guru, and handles the bills. I put in my pay cheque and let him do his thing. He likes to be in control of it. I spent so long as a single mom worrying about each and every penny that it's a bit of a relief to not have to watch so closely anymore. Neither of is are really spenders anyway and we talk about any purchases out of the ordinary.

blabla89

I like this thread. It's given me a lot to think about, since FI and I currently don't live together or share any finances.

I think once we're married we'll both be all in and have a joint checking account that we use to pay for the mortgage, monthly bills, car stuff, household expenses, groceries, doing things together, etc. Then we'll maintain our individual checking accounts where we will keep whatever amount of individual discretionary spending money we agree to. Once we're married and combine finances, we'll be able to focus more on paying off his student debt asap, and after that's done we'll start building up a joint savings account. We haven't talked about what we'll do with my personal savings account (which is substantial, and I won't dip into it unless I lose my  job or something) - I would just as soon leave it where it is and give him access in case we need to transfer money for some reason.

huskypuppy14

I'm curious if there is a correlation between age or place in life and whether people do joint or separate.  My thought is that the older you are and the more established you are in your careers, the greater chance there is of you keeping your banking separate.

FI and I have separate accounts. We are in our early and mid 30s and have been living independently 10-15 years now. It works for us, and we'll probably keep it like that. We also make similar amounts of money; we are in the same tax bracket, I just make a little bit more than he does. 

My sister and her husband were married in their early 20s and right after/during grad school. They have 100% joint accounts. 

My parents were also married in their early 20s and basically had no money when they started out so they were always joint as well. 

I think there are probably other factors involved too, like if someone is a SAH parent or have drastic income disparities, they are probably more likely to have joint.

The point is, people have to do what works for them. And something that works well for one couple, might be terrible for another couple.

CamiSelene

FI and I have discussed this a lot too. We plan to have his, mine, and ours where both our paycheques will go to the "ours" account and we will go over our budgets and equally split whatever is left into his and mine. We figure it will work better for us because he make 2-3 times more than me and at the same time, he also likes to spend while I like to save so this way we have the same amount of "fun money" but he can do what he wants with his and I can do what I want with mine and have no worries!

KytchynWitche

We have separate finances, and we'll probably keep it that way. We both consider all our money to be ours rather than his vs mine, it's just a case of where it is (that is, which account it's in) as to who 'pays'. FI has a 'swiping limit' on his bank card (he can only spend X on that card per day), so if we do a big shop we'll decide that, for example, he'll pay for the stuff from Shop A, I'll pay for the stuff from Shop B. We don't generally buy anything without the other person being there anyway, except FI sometimes picks up bread and milk etc on the way home.

MrsMack10612

@huskypuppy14 - H & I are 40 & 41 respectively.  We met at 27/26 and moved in together at 30/29, married at 39/38.  We have always kept our finances in the above scenario.

 

We would probably not have any joint accounts except we needed one to prove we lived together so I could put him on my health insurance pre-marriage.  Through various events (saving for the wedding, picayune banks, life) we have slowly ended up with more joints, but if not for those things, we would probably still only have the one.

gladyscf

We have everything separate and I'm not sure if that will change.

FI gives me cash when he gets paid and I deposit it into my checking account and pay most of the bills. He does pay a few bills here and there with his own account if I've had an extra bill come in and he takes care of filling the propane tank. After bills are paid, I transfer what is left over into a savings account of mine that I've designated for the wedding. He admits to not being great with saving money and I'm like a squirrel with nuts so this works for us. 

MrsMack10612

mrsstatic2b said:

We have everything separate and I'm not sure if that will change.

FI gives me cash when he gets paid and I deposit it into my checking account and pay most of the bills. He does pay a few bills here and there with his own account if I've had an extra bill come in and he takes care of filling the propane tank. After bills are paid, I transfer what is left over into a savings account of mine that I've designated for the wedding. He admits to not being great with saving money and I'm like a squirrel with nuts so this works for us. 

SITB:

 

We avoid the bolded because we made sure that the majority of our accounts are at the same bank and we can just electronically transfer it when necessary between shared accounts or we do everything through our works' direct deposit system.  No actual money ever changes hands.  Some of it we never "see" because it goes directly into this or that account.