Calling your in-laws "mom" and "dad"

NavyBlue143

I waffle between calling MIL her first name or mom. She likes when I call her mom. FIL is his first name, or Assface McAsserton behind his back. We get along splendidly. (sarcasm)

H sometimes calls my mom mom, but usually uses my parents' first names.

jenna8984

kbsmom1 said:

Maybe it's a southern thing but my son in law calls me Miss ------( my first name)..... And my daughter calls his parents Miss first name and Mr first name... Works good for us:)

My mom moved to South from Boston and she can't stand that everyone down there calls her Miss Wendy. lol 

amakayeb

My fiance calls my parents Mom and Dad--he started soon after we got engaged.

I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet. 

JasperandOpal

I call FI's parents by their first names. I only have one mother and father and they are the people who raised me, I would not be comfortable calling anyone else that (but I am admittedly weird about what I call people). He jokingly calls my mother "Mummy" because thats what I call her and he thinks its funny but usually he calls her by her name. He calls my father by his name. We live much closer to my parents than to his so I think that changes things. He is pretty close with my parents whereas I only see his parents once or twice a year.

Blergbot

It has never even crossed my mind that I would call them mom and dad. I think they'd be pretty taken aback if I did.

lovesclimbing

I call them by their first names. They are wonderful people, and I like them a lot, but they are not my parents. I could never call them Mom and Dad.  

KytchynWitche

ATM I call the FILs by their first names. That's how they introduced themselves, so that's what I call them. I'll probably keep calling them by their names. I might call FMIL "mom" if she asked me to, but I don't think I could call FFIL "dad". My dad's a jerk, so I wouldn't want to sully a good guy like FFIL by calling him the same thing.

My parents both called each other's parents "mom" and "dad", and it was the same in pretty much all the families in our neighbourhood growing up, so that's the norm that I know. But I grew up in a small town that was quite "traditional", we didn't have much experience of "complicated" family life, blended families etc until I was in my teens. 

I think it's a complicated thing, and you can really only make the decision for yourself based on what you're comfortable with, and what the ILs are comfortable with.

JaxInBlue

I'm the sixth spouse of DH's side of the family.  All the preceding spouse call the ILs Mom and Dad or Mom and Dad Lastname.  So I went with it and, honestly, it doesn't bother me.  On my side, I have my bio parents and step-parents (current and former) who at various times have been insistent that they be called Mom or Dad.

The result is that I have more specific appellations for my parents and I don't feel bad about using Mom and Dad for my inlaws; they're great people who have welcomed me into their family and raised a great son (and his siblings).  It's not a big deal for me.

Maggie0829

My parents are my Mom and Dad.  They raised me and took care of me and supported me and continue to support me.  My in-laws are Mr. First Name and Mrs. First Name.  They are not my parents so why in the world would I want to call them Mom and Dad.  In my situation I would consider calling my in-laws Mom and Dad as almost being disrespectful to my parents who continue to be there for me regardless.

climbingsingle

I'm not very close with FFIL so I call him by his first name. I am close with FMIL. I sometimes call her mom and sometimes call her by her first name. 

FI calls my parents by their first names, mostly. But I have heard him call them mom and dad before. 

LadyMillil

DH calls my parents mom and dad, the same as me. He calls his parents Ma and Pa, so he uses different names for his parents and my parents. He wants me to call his parents mom and dad as well, but I'm not comfortable with that. BIL (married to DH's sister) calls them mom and dad, so I think they expect me to call them that too. We live across the country so I only talk to them on speakerphone with DH during holidays, so I don't really need something to call them. I figure I'll just call them Oma and Opa when we have kids.

Inkdancer

HELL to the no.

It would be a sign of way more respect and affection than I actually feel. Besides, I only just added my Dad to my life. No way will I cheapen that title by giving it to anybody else.

OnceUponAVine

I call my BF's mother by her first name. I have my mom and dad who raised me and BF & I started dating when I was 24 & he was 32, we're all adults and address the other adults in our lives by their first names.

Cookie Pusher

Yea, that's never going to happen. It's unlikely FI will ever call my mom anything but her first name either.

clarke10

No way, I would never be comfortable doing this. I have a Mom and Dad whom I adore. FSIL's husband calls them Mom and Dad and I know they're expecting that I will as well, so I'm assuming this will present some conflict after the wedding. FI calls my mom Momma J, which she loves. 

phira

I call my partner's parents by their first names (their other daughters-in-law already did that, so I just took a cue from them). My partner has been told to call my mom by her first name, but he rarely addresses her by name anyway.

It might be a generational thing maybe? My grandmother expects to be called "Mom" by her children's spouses. Then again, she introduced herself to my partner by her first name and has asked him to call her that (again, he avoids the subject entirely by just not addressing her by name).

However, his grandparents were introduced to me as "Gramma and Papa," so that's what I call them. Weird to me, but it's normal in his family, so I go with it.

jdluvr06

Well I did call FI's grandparents Gran and Gramps. He calls my grandparents mawmaw and pawpaw. Everyone who meets my great grandmother calls her Nanny, I really don't think I've hear anyone call her by her first name ever.

lyndausvi

I call MIL by her first name. DHcalls my parents by their first name also but he feels more comfortable with Mr and Mrs. However my parents said you can call us by our first names or mom and dad but Mr/Mrs is too formal. Especially when DH calls my aunts by their first names. one SIL calls my parents mom and dad. It's sounds weird to me. Plus i do not like her anyway The other calls them by their first. BIL calls them nothing or grandma and pop if referencing them around his kids. He is not comfortable with mom/dad or first names. my sister calls BIL's parents Grammy and somthing(I forget what the kids call his dad). They only want to be called mom and dad and my sister just can't do it. both my brothers call their inlays by their first names. Basically I seems it's all over the place for people. Some are more comfortable than others calling in-laws mom and dad or by their first names. Some parents have their own opinions on the issue. There is no one way. Eta -auto-correct sucks

mrsmorales2be

I call my stepmom - who has been in my life since I was 8 - by her first name.  My mom is my mom. 

FMIL is Doña Josefina. FI's father isn't in the picture and we'll cross that bridge if it ever arrives.  I certainly won't be addressing him as Papa, though! 

princessleia22

I call them by first name and I don't really see that changing.  I'm not necessarily opposed to calling them mom & dad, but it just feels weird to me. Although, I do sometimes refer to them as mom & dad when I'm talking to FI, because it's just easier.  And I know his mom especially would love it if I called her mom, because she has said she already thinks of me as a daughter. But, it just seems weird to me to call them that in person.  

SammiNJonni

I call FI's parents by their first names when talking to them. I call them Mom and Dad in cards from both me and FI and when talking to FI. I call my mom Mama and FI calls my mom Mom which she said he could do after we got engaged. His parents have never said I could call them mom and dad and I have been calling them by their first names since high school. I do call his one grandma Babbe like he does and he calls mine Grandma.

Lowell14

I call my FILs by their first names. That's how they introduced themselves to me and that is how FIs 2 BILs refer to them.

My own mom refers to my Nana (dads mom) as Mom even though my parents have been divorced for 10 years. Nana would be hurt if my mom didn't call her Mom.

Vivandiere8

My parents called each others parents Mom and Dad (or more often Grammy, Gampy, Nanny etc because that's what we kids called them). My sister and brother-in-law called each others parents mom and dad the same way when they got married.

My mother-in-law started calling me daughter before my husband and I were even married, even when referring to me to a stranger ("I'm here with my daughter to try on my dress for alterations). When I first called her Mom at the reception her eyes lit up, and I could tell how happy she was I was calling her that.  IT feels a bit strange, but to me it's a good strange. I like feeling like I'm truly becomming part of my husbands family and he of mine. I'm probably more traditional when it come to customs. I even refer to my husbands sister as my "sister". But in the end I think it depends on the comfort level of all involved, what the words mean to you, etc. I don't think there is nessesarily a right answer.

APDSS22

I like to work around using either first names or mom and dad.  I have a mom and dad, and calling everyone the same thing would be confusing.  However, it seems disrespectful/weird to call them their first names.  When we started dating I went with the typical Mr. and Mrs. Lastname but I was the college girlfriend then.  Now that I'm officially a permanent fixture in the family, it seems like it would be odd to still call them that.  Especially since I would be a Mrs. Lastname as well.  We address Christmas presents and such to "mom and dad Lastname" because they're from both of us.

I don't know what I would do if my ILs straight up said "call us mom and dad."