Seating arrangements: is my dad right?

knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226

I was discussing seating arrangements with my dad and mentioned that I planned to sit family together, groups of friends who know each other together, etc. He said he always thought it was good to sprinkle people around and to have tables where you know a few people, but not everyone; that way people can get to know each other, etc. I thought it was better to put people with others they know so that no one is uncomfortable or feels awkward. 

What do you prefer?
What did you do/do you plan to do?

I know there's no "RIGHT" way, but I'm curious.

indianaalum

I would prefer to sit with people I know!

knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226

That was my thinking, too!

KeptInStitches

I would want to sit with people I know as well.

photokitty

I prefer to sit with people I know. Or if I don't know people, people the B&G thinks I will like and/or have things in common with.

beachyone15

Seat me with people I know! I hate forced mingling.

thisismynickname2

Seat me with people I know!

For all the crap about weddings being a great place to meet people, you are literally stuck at a dinner table for hours with people.  That's not meeting people, that's forced small-talk where you're censored on what you can talk about with the people you already know.   Boring, boring, boring. 

People who want to mingle can do so during cocktails or once the dancing starts. 

daria24

My ILs had the same opinion as your dad. Personally I just want to sit with people I know. I think it's weird to try to force people to get to know others. 

ETA: When I've seen the forced mingling at weddings, what always happens is that the 4 people who know each other just talk amongst themselves. And thus every table has two "factions." Especially because who wants to try to talk across a 72inch round table? 

JaxInBlue

Agree with PPs. Seat me with people I know! DH and I were at a wedding last fall in which table assignments were super random. We were at a table of people whose ages, careers, relationships to the couple were all different. Small talk was odd and mostly about the food. We wound up leaving shortly after cake since it was so awkward feeling.

RebeccaB88

With people I know, definitely.

sarawifenow

Another vote for being sat with people you know! When I am forced to mingle, I just talk to the one person at the table I know. Everyone else does, too, so it gets awkward quick.

nsweare

Definitely people I know. I'm a grown-up. If I want to meet people I'll mingle. Sitting me with people I don't know just to give me the opportunity to make friends is patronizing. I can make friends without anyone's help thankyouverymuch.

huskypuppy14

Why do people insist on having their guests mingle. These are people that your guest probably won't see again if they are not already friends. Sometimes you have to put some people with others they don't know because of how the tables turn out, but forced mingling at a wedding is dumb. This isn't a company outing where they want you to mingle with others from different departments.

lc07

At a dinner party, I enjoy meeting new people and being seated with people I don't know. At a wedding, I want to catch up with my friends and family. We are all spread out all over the country. They are my priority and I would be annoyed if you sat me away from them because you want me to become BFFs with one of your friends I may or may not ever see again.

kmmssg

4 time MOB - (well as of next Saturday anyway) and I REFUSE to do what your father is proposing when it comes to our seating charts!  Mandatory mingling sucks and is very awkward and I really hate it.

bethsmiles

No one is at your wedding to get to know people, chances are they will never see most of these people again.

I think it's best to sit people with others they know when possible. Obviously, you might have to sit them with some people they know and some they don't but don't do it just to force mingling.

RebeccaFlower

Absolutely with people I know. If I don't know anyone, please make an effort to make it someone you think I wouldn't mind conversing with.

Simply Fated

I am not a fan of forced mingling, either. If I want to meet new people, I will. Feeling I need to make small talk with my tablemates isn't an ideal way to spend my time at someone's wedding.

sophhabobopha

I hate forced mingling. I am a grown up! Let me be shy.

monkeysip

Yeah, we sat people with people they knew, and there was still tons of mingling.  I really couldn't believe how our two families (and some random friends) all were dancing and talking with each other all night.

If people want to mingle... they will.  If they don't want to... they won't.  Don't force it!

ETA:  Some of our family and friends who had never met each other before our wedding all went out after the reception was over and went bar hopping.  Including my friend from high school and my DAD.  Kind of weird... lol... but glad they all had fun that night!

downtondiva

I'd much rather sit with people I know. I'm not an outgoing person and I hate small talk.

When the time comes, I will only seat people with people they don't know if they're coming with a guest they can talk to if they don't want to mingle. And ideally, they'd still be at a table with people who are in the same age group or have similar interests.

NYCMercedes

People I know, no question about it.

grumbledore

Same here.

JoanE2012

Sit people with who they know.  No one cares about getting to know someone when chances are they will never see them again.

Chipmunk415

From experience. ... I sat people with people they knew, with two exceptions. I put some of DHs friends with friends of mine who had similar interests and personalities. They had a blast. I put my dads friends (he paid so he got to show off to a few) at the same table. With two of the couples, the husbands knew each other from the usmc. The other two- well one was a friend of my dad's from high school and she got along fabulously with my aunt who was seated with them. I knew they would all be a good mix together bc I also knew these people personally

Ven&Radio

I prefer to sit with people I know. I'm extremely awkward with people I don't know.

I had one guest include a note with their RSVP asking to be seated with people they didn't know. They felt like they see the family regularly and wanted the opportunity to meet new people. It was easy enough to accommodate their request.

schellzinator

I would also air on the side of caution and sit people with people they know for a number of reasons.  

1) I enjoy family weddings because it is a time that I am able to catch up with cousins/aunts/uncles that I don't normally get to see. I don't mind meeting new people - but I'd be bummed if I don't get to see how my extended family is doing.

2) You don't know necessarily if their personalities are going to match. Although everyone will probably be well-behaved for those few hours - you might as well try to make the experience enjoyable.

With that being said - I did have one table that was half college friends/half post-college friends because of how it worked out number wise. Although both groups were cordial - they spent the time catching up with the friends they knew. 

I also sat a pregnant friend of mine who was not as close with others at the wedding with a married couple with no kids they had met once or twice before and two new moms. The one new mom decided to get liquored up and tell the expectant mother about her excruciating long, bloody and painful pregnancy - epic fail on my part.  The good news is - my pregnant at the time friend had a speedy and healthy delivery!

larrygaga

The last wedding I went to they tried to force us to sit with people we didn't know. Everyone just sat with who they wanted and messed up the entire chart. There will be time for mingling after dinner.

Maggie0829

I am with everyone else.  Sit me with people I know.  Your wedding is not a business event where you will actually want people to mingle with new individuals to make good business contacts.  You want your guests to be comfortable and have a good time.  And for many people the last thing that makes them comfortable is having to force conversation with a stranger.

KatieinBkln

Ha, I love the consensus here. And I agree too, forced mingling is stupid. I went to a wedding like this and I felt weirdly infantilized by it--I AM a grown-up, and I WILL mingle, if I feel like it. If I don't, what's it to anyone? I'm here to chat with my cousins, man. 

The strange thing was that the wedding was between two very, VERY shy and introverted people. So maybe it was some kind of projection on their part, but either way I wasn't into it. Don't get me wrong, we were fine--had some decent conversations with the people at the table with us--but it definitely wasn't as fun as being at a table with friends/family/people you can run your mouth to.

climbingsingle

I don't need forced mingling with strangers. Seat me with people I know.