Ruby, Ruby, when will you be mine? (or not)

cmscheidegger

I feel so bad. I have been engaged for almost a year (a year in September) and I am still coming to terms with my engagement ring. 

I just don't know how to handle the situation.

I always dreamed of my engagement ring, a very simple antique diamond ring. Nothing flashy, just simple and delicate.

And then I finally got engaged and I was presented with a very flashy, large ruby with little diamonds surrounding it.

I know I can't tell him because he gets very defensive about the ring. I had a friend talk to him about it before he popped the question and he felt very hurt and angry that she didn't like his decision.

I do have my great aunts ring that is more my style, is there a polite way to try to switch the rings?

I feel like a terrible person but I want to be proud of showing off my ring and right now I feel like I'm wearing one of those rings you got as a child in those fake plastic play jewelry sets. Do I suck it up or do I try to make myself happy?

Maggie0829

If you are this unhappy with your ring you should have said something to your FI a while ago.  Waiting like you did will make the conversation even harder and will cause your FI to wonder why you waited so long to speak up.  If you spoke up sooner the ring could have possibly been returned but at this point that ship has sailed. Even though it is hard and you will hurt his feelings and he may get defensive, when you are not happy about something then you need to speak up.

Honestly at this point I would be focusing on my wedding band and getting something that I love and then moving the e-ring to my right hand after the wedding.

chibiyui

Exactly what maggie said. Get a wedding band you like and wear your e - ring on your right hand.

cmscheidegger

To be honest I didn't know that you were suppose to move the ring to your right hand

KeptInStitches

cmscheidegger said:

To be honest I didn't know that you were suppose to move the ring to your right hand

You're not necessarily "supposed" to, but nothing says you can't.

chibiyui

cmscheidegger said:

To be honest I didn't know that you were suppose to move the ring to your right hand

It's not a common practice in the states. I wear mine on my right hand, no one has commented on it. In your case it seems like a good compromise.