How much do you gift?

ElcaB

When you're giving cash as a gift for a wedding, how much do you typically give? 

I know there are a lot of variables and in the end, it's best to give what you can afford, but I was just wondering what the norm was for you ladies. 

JCbride2015

It has varied widely depending on how close I am to the person and my job situation.  The lowest I ever gave was $75 while I was a first-year law student.  Typical is probably $150.  This summer, FBIL is getting married and we plan to give $400.  

We have Fi's cousin's e-party coming up and I think we'll give $75 as a couple.  I like to give a check for an e-party, too, but smaller than the wedding.

cupcait927

I've been to all of three weddings in my life. The first one I was 18 and probably gave like $50. The second wedding I was the MOH so I didn't give a gift at the wedding, just the shower along with hosting the shower and bachelorette party. This last wedding I went to a couple years ago, I was FI's plus one (hadn't been dating that long) and he gave $50. It's not much but it's what he could afford at the time. Going forward, we'll probably give at least $100 or more if it's family.

KatieinBkln

Honestly it would depend on how close I am to the person. It definitely depends on my financial situation, too. A few years ago I was making shit wages in an apprenticeship industry so people would be lucky to get a few wooden spoons from the registry (with a heartfelt card!). Although usually I buy off a registry, if they have one.

I like the idea of actual cash money though--there's something about a $50 or $100 bill that makes me happy (plus I avoid the "So are you changing your name?" question I'd have to ask with a check). 

vk2204

I have always given minimum of $100. But honestly it depends on how close we are to the couple getting married. The most we have given was $200.

CallaLily25

Minimum: $150

Average: $200 

Really close friend or family: $300

This is what we currently give, but as our financial situation improves, I can see us giving more.

pinkcow13

It depends on how close we are to the couple, but usually around $150-$300. We are going to a wedding this weekend,it is for my coworker who I am good friends with, and I am going to give $300. A mutual coworker (who is also going) and I discussed it because we wanted to give the same amount.

emmaaa

I give what I can afford. If that's a $40 frame they registered for, then that's what I get. If it's the $200 set of pots and pans, then that's what I get. It depends on my financial situation at the moment.

Maggie0829

Minimum: $50 

Average: $100 

On the rare occasion (close close friends/relatives): $300

sarahufl

Typically between $100-$200, depending on closeness, etc.

melbelleup

Usually it's $100, but sometimes less depending on my finances. For my sibling- I'll be giving them $200. We're not loaded with money by any means so I'm not going to give more than I can afford.

[Deleted User]

It depends on who, but the minimum is the equivalent of how much I would spend on a night out with dinner drinks and dancing.  150 +

blabla89

It really depends on whether I've already given a shower gift, how much I can budget for, and (let's be real) how much I like the couple. I'll usually give around $75-150, which seems to be pretty average for my hometown (which is where most weddings I attend are), maybe a little on the low side for where I live now.

Peaseblossom55

It depends mostly on how close I am to the bride and groom, we average between $200-$400.

wandajune6

I give more when I'm going as part of a couple. When single, it's usually around $100. As a couple, it's usually around $150.

That said, I'm not a big fan of giving money. My family never gives money, gift cards, etc. for any gift-giving occasion-- with the exception of the occasionally gift card to teens. I'll frequently stalk an item on the person's registry and wait for it to go on sale then pair it with a coupon so I can get them something completely out of my price range for their wedding. For instance, that's how I managed to buy a friend a Le Creuset pot for her wedding for under my $150 max.

mysticl

I normally give an actual gift. The last wedding I went to they flat out asked for cash on the invite and DH chose to honor that request (it was his coworker). We stopped at the ATM on the way to the wedding and he took out a few hundred dollars, not just for the gift but to have cash. I'm pretty sure he ended up putting over $100 in the card which I was not particularly happy about since I didn't spend that much on my best friend's gift and this was a co-worker that he rarely saw outside of work and had known for less than 2 years.

Simky906

We (well, I, but I am in charge of gift giving) are boxed gift givers generally. The amount we spend on gifts varies due to our relationship with the couple. In the last year we spent about $200 on FI's cousin, close to $300 for my stepsister and sent a $50 gift to a couple whose wedding we were a courtesy invite to (my stepmon's best friend's daughter) and whose wedding we did not attend.

Another one of FI's cousin's is getting married soon and will probably get a check for $150. We're not as close to this cousin and they asked for cash which I find annoying.

When I was younger though, I spent less because that's what I could afford at the time. 

daria24

I will always buy off the registry if there are any decent options. Otherwise it's $200.

chibiyui

In the past, I've mostly given physical gifts of around 30-50 dollars. At the last wedding we went to, we gave 80. And I honestly feel kinda bad and that we should have done 100. In the future, I imagine 100 will be our baseline.

Unless there's something like a honeyfund, in which case we''ll probably do 50 bucks and something small (like, beach towels or something)

doeydo

About $50.  But for my sister's upcoming wedding, I am putting more around $100 into a joint gift.

FutureMrsN3312

In my circle most people try to "cover their plates".  We typically give $300-400 for a wedding.  Depending on the person/financial situation at the time of course.  Shower gifts depends on who it is.  Usually $50-100.

Jells2dot0

We have very small families, so 99% of the weddings we've been to are friends. All of them required quite a bit of travel on our part to attend. So, we usually give $100-$200. Our plane tickets usually run $350-$400pp plus accommodations if it wasn't close to our hometowns.

In addition, I always buy a shower gift if invited, even if I do not attend. I usually spend $100 on the shower and the cost of the plane ticket if I could attend.

The only family member that has gotten married was my brother last year. I spent almost a thousand dollars on their wedding/shower gifts plus all of our travel costs.

Cookie Pusher

It totally depends on the circumstances. We typically give boxed gifts from the registry, but we've been moving more towards giving cash. Assuming FI and I both attend:

- For someone where I'm pretty sure I'm just a courtesy invite because we're not close, $75-100

- For a friend/coworker, $200

- For family $300-1,000

Then there are extenuating circumstances:

- If I find out it's a PPD, you get nothing

- If there's a cash bar, $50-100 right off the top, depending on if non-alcoholic drinks are being hosted

- Gap and/or not enough food for the time of day, $100 less

- If your wedding is timed so we have to either book a hotel room over night or drive home in the middle of the night, I deduct the approximate amount of the hotel room or $50 if I have to drive home at 2am

- Honeyfund (especially if I find out you're just going to pocket the cash), I just cut your check by half

- I just flat out don't like you for whatever reason, you'll get a nice but off-registry boxed gift or an I charge an asshole tax on the cash I give

beethery

Weddings for friends, we give $150 each.

When my cousin got married, we gave them a card and I painted them a picture. Didn't help that their venue ran out of food, and that I later found out it was a PPD. They also were going to be living in two separate countries for over a year and I found out my parents gave them a pretty huge check. Didn't feel really bad about not handing off some cash.

FBIL's wedding last year, we gave nothing. FI had to buy a whole new suit (when he already had a black one that looked EXACTLY THE SAME as the one he was nagged/guilted/bitched at into buying), AND he ended up paying for FOB/BOBs golf outing costs for the bachelor party, because they didn't fucking show up on time. Plus I think he got them some plants and other yardwork shit that they asked for for the 'surprise' bridal shower that FSIL wanted superextrabad and her shitty sister wouldn't host for her, so my FMIL set it up.

Dick behavior gets no gift.

It's been a year (as of yesterday), and I am still feeling WAVES of relief from that whole debacle being DONE.

banana468

Generally for friends and cousins we give around $150. For BIL and very close friends we give more.

ktjanesmom

I went to a wedding last summer, the daughter of a cousin.  Not close to either one.  But I am embarrassed as to how cheap I was with my gift.  Especially after seeing what is "normal".  Would it be terribly weird if I was to send her a check or gift card this far after the wedding?  I really feel bad. 

Knottie37373131

Fiance and I gifted $100 as a couple to the only reception we have been to together. We were not invited to the wedding but we were invited to the reception.

jdluvr06

We tend to give $50 for friends $100 for family. I try not to go to showers but I'll send something. Usually a gift card to wherever they are registered.

jenna8984

ktjanesmom said:

I went to a wedding last summer, the daughter of a cousin.  Not close to either one.  But I am embarrassed as to how cheap I was with my gift.  Especially after seeing what is "normal".  Would it be terribly weird if I was to send her a check or gift card this far after the wedding?  I really feel bad. 

@ktjanesmom Don't feel bad- some of these people live in places like NYC so their "normal" will be higher than those who live elsewhere. I normally give $50-75. My brother was the only $100. When I was just out of college and wasn't making as much, I often did $30 boxed gift from TJMaxx.

I went to a wedding once and a week afterwards I heard them bashing a mututal friend for giving a $10 Dunkin Donuts gift card. Yes it seems low but if that's all they could afford at the time so be it. I found the receiver much more rude than the giver for disclosing!

KPBM89

Before we moved, FI and I would give around $150.  Now that we have to travel 24+ hours to go to weddings, we typically give $50-100, more if they're family.  It costs us a lot of money to do all the travel, plus whatever we paid for the gifts we had sent for showers.

I'd love to know if any of the couples ever appreciated their money and gifts though.  We have never received a thank you card for anything we've given at a wedding or shower.  Not a single one.  And I've been to a fuckton of weddings.

d2va

I havent been to many weddings as an adult. A few years ago i purchased a BBQ set with a cutting board for a pretty close friend for her shower and I believe gave her like $75 for the wedding, but I was B listed because we were fighting. lol

I spent much more on her baby shower, as thankfully I could afford it.

I have gone to FIs nephews wedding and I think we gave $200 together, I was named as a guest when we were engaged... lol

Another wedding we went to as a couple we gave $200.

So it seems that we give around $100 per person attending the wedding.