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Wedding Invitations & Paper
tabathafaye
member
Options
Using Parents' Names
We either want to put "together with their parents" or use our parents' names on our invitation.
Examples show (These are not real names, just the ones on the example)
Together with
Mr. & Mrs. Henry Nakagawa and
Mr. & Mrs. Sean Gallagher
Alyssa Chiemi Nakagawa
&
Stephen Michael Gallagher
However, neither my fiance or I have the same last names as our parents (dads passed away, mothers remarried). Is it ok to have:
Together with their parents,
Mr. and Mrs. MyStepdad Lastname and
Mr. and Mrs. HisStepdad Lastname,
Me Middle MyLast
and
Fiance Middle HisLast
....
And, can I include the moms' names?
Together with their parents,
Mr. and Mrs. MyStepdad and MyMom Lastname and
Mr. and Mrs. HisStepdad and HisMom Lastname,
...
Thanks in advance for the advice!
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: Using Parents' Names
I have seen, in examples while looking for invites myself, the following:
Mr. and Mrs. MyStepdad
Mr. and Mrs. HisStepdad
Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children
Me Middle MyLast
and
Fiance Middle HisLast
Just another option for you. I had to read your post a couple of times to get how you were wanting to your mom's name in there, but that is confusing, they would be listed twice? Within the Mr. and Mrs. & then again just alone? Am I understanding you right?
RSVP Date: September 20
Mr and Mrs. Stepdadfirstname and Momfirstname Lastname
Then included the bride's last name in the middle section.
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company
as they are united in marriage
Day, date
time
Venue
Address
City, State
or
Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Stepfather
Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Stepfather
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
(etc.)
"children" do not get married.
Are both sets of parents hosting your wedding? You should not list people on your invitation just because they are your parents. Only the host's names and the bridal couple should be on the invitation. It is not a family tree. It is not an honor to be on an invitation! It is only an honor to receive one.
You may put your late father's names on your program in a brief "In Memory" section.
RSVP Date: September 20
I would do either,":together with their families", or name them - not both. That is redundant and looks odd.
Traditional:
Ms. Jane Doe
Mr. John Doe
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Bride's first middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time
Venue
Address
City, State
Non-traditional
Together with their parents
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company
as they are united in marriage
Since both sets of parents are hosting your wedding, it is proper to put both names on your invitation, but this does not mean that everybody should do this. When the bride and groom are hosting their own wedding, they never directly invite people. Instead, the invitation is written in the passive voice to avoid this.
There is huge difference between "stroking someone's egos" and honoring your parents for helping you host your wedding. Etiquette = rules for not offending people. Etiquette has nothing to do with whether your parents are touched that you include them on your invite.
Is it required by etiquette? No. Should anyone expect to have their names on an invite because they are helping? No.
But is it a really nice thing to do and will (many) parents be touched you wanted to include their names? Yes.
And I never said that anyone had to include names of parents, hosting or otherwise. I just said it is an honor (from a parent's point of view) to be included on an invite. And yes, this is an opinion. In my opinion, it's nice and it's thoughtful to do if they are putting a lot of time and money into helping pull of your special day.
I'm not arguing with anyone over etiquette rules here.
As a traditional MOB, I would have been embarrassed to be on any invitation unless I was hosting the event! It implies that I want attention and credit for something that I did not do! I certainly was not on the rehearsal dinner invitation, as the groom's parents hosted that.
I never was talking about including parents who aren't hosting, nor was the OP. That being said, "hosting" can be defined any number of ways.
The guests also don't need family trees. What they do need to know is who to communicate with about the wedding, and it wastes their time to list parents as hosts who tell the guests, "Sorry, we don't know anything and can't help you" all because you're trying to use the wrong vehicle to "honor" someone who is not actually performing the functions of a host.
Good luck!