Second Guessing My Dress

hannca02

I went dress shopping yesterday. It was completely different than I thought it would be. I thought it would be fun and I would be wowed! But I wasn't really comfortable during my appointment. I am not a girly girl and I don't enjoy shopping. What I had in mind was completely different than what looked good on me. I went to my first appointment yesterday with my mom and my aunt. My mom is paying for my dress. We started at a small boutique. I never really felt like anything struck me as the perfect dress. I tried on about 20 different dresses and was ready to leave, but my aunt pulled one more to try on. I liked how it looked on me, but I never cried or felt overjoyed. I was ready to be done and I felt pressured to buy the dress. I am overwhelmed that maybe I didn't choose the right dress because I didn't get "that feeling". I cried last night and I have been up all night thinking about it. I feel like I shouldn't have bought the dress, but all sales are final. I am having a hard time deciding how I feel. I like the dress and the way it looks on me but I am not in love with it. Maybe it's my personality. I need some advice so I can stop fretting about the dress. Please help!

Blergbot

On the one hand, some people never have that feeling about their dress. It is just a dress. On the other hand, maybe it's just not your dress. In which case I would immediately contact the store and see what your options are. Even if you really are stuck with the dress, you can try and sell it on tradesy or oncewed or something. Then keep looking for the dress you love. Any pics?

RebeccaFlower

The bridal industry wants us to find the 'perfect dress' and that everyone should just sobbing with excitement. This is because they want us to go over budget and spend more to fulfill a dream moment and I think they're playing into this right now. This isn't reality. It's a dress you wear for one day. Not even a full day in most cases! 

If it's in budget and you like it, it sounds like you're fine. You can get in contact with the store to see if you can transfer your deposit but it sounds like their policy could be pretty tight since you already no that there are no refunds. 

SBmini

Not everyone gets 'that feeling' I didn't. Tell me this, are you the type to get super emotional about other things? Do you cry during commercials with dogs in them, or during stories you hear on the radio? No- then don't worry about it. I am one of those people who balls my eyes out regularly during NPR's Story Core and I didn't cry when I got my dress. I loved it, but I didn't have a "this is it" moment. My mom and sister did, however... for a dress I hated.

So don't trust those emotions. If you love your dress, then it is the right dress. Did you get any photos of yourself in it? Look at them and try to make an honest assessment now that you are beyond the emotions of your shopping day. Since you got it so recently, if you are 100% sure it isn't your dress, the boutique may work with you on a return.

babs0726

In my opinion...keep looking!!!  Would the store you bought yours from do an exchange or give you store credit so it could go towards shoes, accessories, flower girls, bms, etc?

I got my first dress at David's Bridal and I liked it, and so did my family.  But that's the thing...I just LIKED it.  I was really stressed out about it and kept it to myself because I was afraid my family and FI would be pissed.  

I bought the dress the very first time I went shopping and they told me the sale was only lasting until the next day (which they do all the time).  My BMs and mom thought it was the perfect dress.  I felt kind of pressured into it.  I started looking at more dresses and then finally told everyone what was wrong.  FI was pissed like I thought, but I did some research and found out David's would exchange or give me store credit.  I didn't find any other dresses there that I liked so I went to a few different shops.  

And then it happened.  I found THE dress.  It was flattering, a perfect fit, and anything but simple, like me.  It was absolutely perfect.  So I bought it and I still love it just as much as I did the first time I put it on!!  I don't even wonder about other dresses anymore.

In the end, you'll only get married (hopefully) once and it should be everything you want it to be!  Do your research and see what you can do.   Good luck!

dbacksgirl

@hannca02, I was feeling exactly like you a few weeks ago.  I tried on dresses at 6 different places over the course of about 2 months and there was only ONE dress that made me KIND OF feel like a bride.  My sister picked it out and insisted I try it on even though it wasn't at all what I imagined for myself.  Surprisingly, I really did kind of like it but it was close to $2000 before alterations, which was out of my budget.  Anyway, we went to a discount boutique and I found one that was similar up top to the one I liked but VASTLY different than anything I'd ever pick out for the skirt.  It was a good price though and the fit was very flattering, I will admit, so I listened to the consultant and my sister and I bought it.  FINAL SALE.  I came home and obsessed for a week or so over whether or not I would be miserable on my wedding day.  Then I decided to make an appointment with a seamstress that specializes in wedding gowns.  I just figured she might be able to add a belt and change the neckline for me and it might help me like it a bit more.  Well, let me tell you... that lady listened to what I liked and didn't like about the dress and went to work pinning and making suggestions.  By the time I left an hour later, I really felt like I will love the dress when she's finished with the alterations.

So, bottom line: no, not everyone has that "OMG!" moment and bursts into tears of joy when they find THE DRESS.  Yes, it absolutely does happen, but not for everyone.  If you really aren't crazy about the dress, see about getting some redesign work done on it.  It's more expensive than say, a simple hem or bustle, BUT if you got a nice deal on the dress and have a little extra money for alterations, a lot can be done to make the dress your very own.  Good luck with whatever you decide.  I can totally empathize with you!