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Wedding 911

FI got a lap dance.. Am I Overreacting?

2

Re: FI got a lap dance.. Am I Overreacting?

  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    atlastmrsg said:
    This is also a good case for picking battles.  It's his bachelor party.  He was supposed to go have fun.  He did.  He didn't cheat, get an STD, get arrested for public intox, drain a bank account, end up in a hospital with alcohol poisoning, or get a tattoo.

    Problem number one--trying to control the bachelor party.  If you're marrying him,presumably he's trustworthy and will have fun without doing anything stupid.

    Problem number two: asking about the bachelor party.  It should have been something for him and the guys, not something where you get the play by play anyway.
    From what the OP has stated, presumably he's not trustworthy. 

    Look, I have no problem with strip clubs, hell, I told the BM I'd throw him a 20 if he wanted to take H to the strip club and get that man a lap dance. The OP is obviously (and somewhat wrongly) distraught over the lap dance, when as we have all said, the communication break down is the issue. It's totally possible to go to a strip club and walk out with no lap dance. You don't need a lap dance to have fun at a strip club. And if the OP asked her FI to not get a lap dance, he should have not gotten a lap dance. 
    A lot of my friends smoke weed. I've been tempted to try it, cause why not? My H does not like weed, he thinks it should be legal, but disagrees with it on a moral/intellectual level. He has asked me not to smoke it. Thus, I have not tried weed. It has nothing to do with the fact that I have a vagina instead of a penis and everything to do with respecting my H. If trying weed were super important to me, I'd talk with my H about why I should try weed just this once, and have a discussion with him, Not go ahead and do it and then weeks later when he mentions something about weed be all "Oh, I totally smoked some last month"  Why you ask? Because I'm not an asshole. 

    OP's FI done goofed. And bullshit like "Guys can't help going to strip clubs" is pulling away from the breakdown of communication which is the fucking issue here. 

    Fucking boxes. 
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    Maggie0829spara0038
  • MagicInk said:
    I'm too lazy to find the quote, but I really don't understand why people don't like entire professions because of the actions of a single person. A graphic designer was part of the reason that my parents split- but people would call me ridiculous if I was like, "Yeah, it's just a personal thing I have against graphic designers." It takes two to tango. Edited because of paragraphs and autocorrect fails.
    Fucking graphic designers slutting around, ruining marriages.
    Hey now!!! Watch it. I'm a graphic designer....
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  • hales2010hales2010 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    I'm too lazy to find the quote, but I really don't understand why people don't like entire professions because of the actions of a single person. A graphic designer was part of the reason that my parents split- but people would call me ridiculous if I was like, "Yeah, it's just a personal thing I have against graphic designers." It takes two to tango. Edited because of paragraphs and autocorrect fails.

    That would be my post I am assuming since I am the one that posted it about my parents. In my defense this was not just with my parents. 3 of my other friends have had their marriages torn apart due to a trip to the strip club. As I put in orginal post. I do not have a problem with strippers. I have a friend who is a stripper. I do not think any less of the profession. I also agree it does take 2 to tango. That was my dads and my friends' FI/H faults. My FI and I have already had this discussion and he actually brought up the fact he does not want to go to strip club before I could even say anything. I told him I was ok with him going as long as he does not get a lap dance. It is the physical contact where my limit is. He said even if they ended up at one he would not drink so that a bad decision would not be made by being under the influence and that if pushed on him that he would leave. This might be because he has been here through this entire thing with my parents and has seen how much it has hurt my family and I...idk..but that is what he has told me. That is why my limits are what they are though and why I personally will not even step foot in a strip club and would perfer my FI not to but if he does/want to I will trust that he will respect my limits. He also has said this which kind of put it in perspective...he would not want me grinding on some other guy in just a bra and g string so why would it be any different for him to have some half dressed girl grinding on him. I thought it was a good way to put it.

     

    On the side note...I think they need to add a spell checker to this lol. I am not the best speller and would love for them to add it.


  • MagicInk said:
    I'm too lazy to find the quote, but I really don't understand why people don't like entire professions because of the actions of a single person. A graphic designer was part of the reason that my parents split- but people would call me ridiculous if I was like, "Yeah, it's just a personal thing I have against graphic designers." It takes two to tango. Edited because of paragraphs and autocorrect fails.
    Fucking graphic designers slutting around, ruining marriages.
    Hey now!!! Watch it. I'm a graphic designer....
    So am I, I believe she's kidding.
    hikebikebemerry
  • @hnbright2010

    I did see that you don't have anything against strippers.  However, far too often have I heard people calling strippers sluts/whores because their friend/friend of a friend/great aunt/third cousin twice removed/ etc. had a relationship that was "ruined" by a stripper therefore, they claim that all strippers are homewreckers/ golddiggers/ etc., and I was more so just pointing out how silly it is.  (In my opinion.)

    Also, what browser do you use?  I use Chrome and it has spell check on it!
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  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    MagicInk said:
    I'm too lazy to find the quote, but I really don't understand why people don't like entire professions because of the actions of a single person. A graphic designer was part of the reason that my parents split- but people would call me ridiculous if I was like, "Yeah, it's just a personal thing I have against graphic designers." It takes two to tango. Edited because of paragraphs and autocorrect fails.
    Fucking graphic designers slutting around, ruining marriages.
    Hey now!!! Watch it. I'm a graphic designer....
    It's cool, I'm a tattoo artist. We're sluts/drug dealer/criminals according to some people I've talked. No seriously I've been asked "So you ever dealt drugs?", no because jail does not appeal to me. 
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • @hnbright2010

    I did see that you don't have anything against strippers.  However, far too often have I heard people calling strippers sluts/whores because their friend/friend of a friend/great aunt/third cousin twice removed/ etc. had a relationship that was "ruined" by a stripper therefore, they claim that all strippers are homewreckers/ golddiggers/ etc., and I was more so just pointing out how silly it is.  (In my opinion.)

    Also, what browser do you use?  I use Chrome and it has spell check on it!
    Not to get off topic but I've got to ask since spell check came up: I'd like to know how your paragraphs actually work. I use Chrome and my paragraphs disappear. 
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  • MagicInk said:
    I'm too lazy to find the quote, but I really don't understand why people don't like entire professions because of the actions of a single person. A graphic designer was part of the reason that my parents split- but people would call me ridiculous if I was like, "Yeah, it's just a personal thing I have against graphic designers." It takes two to tango. Edited because of paragraphs and autocorrect fails.
    Fucking graphic designers slutting around, ruining marriages.
    Hey now!!! Watch it. I'm a graphic designer....
    So am I, I believe she's kidding.
    Yes, I know. I was too. :) But I really am a graphic designer lol
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  • beetherybeethery So sayeth the fuckin' Pope. member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Not to get off topic but I've got to ask since spell check came up: I'd like to know how your paragraphs actually work. I use Chrome and my paragraphs disappear. 
    Hit the HTML editor and make sure there is a <p> in front and a </p> at the end of each paragraph. If there aren't, add them.
    --

    I'm the fuck out.

    image

  • MagicInk said:
    I'm too lazy to find the quote, but I really don't understand why people don't like entire professions because of the actions of a single person. A graphic designer was part of the reason that my parents split- but people would call me ridiculous if I was like, "Yeah, it's just a personal thing I have against graphic designers." It takes two to tango. Edited because of paragraphs and autocorrect fails.
    Fucking graphic designers slutting around, ruining marriages.
    Hey now!!! Watch it. I'm a graphic designer....
    So am I, I believe she's kidding.
    Yes, I know. I was too. :) But I really am a graphic designer lol
    Yay, GD party :)
    beetheryKauris
  • Make sure the two of you are clear on this issue going forward. You didn't want him to get a lap dance as your fiance, but would you be ok with one as your husband? Or going to strip clubs at all? Some times we assume that we are on the same page about stuff that we aren't.

    I have seen this issue spelled out so many time by soon to be brides (and a few grooms) who were devastated to learn that their fiance went to a strip club right before their wedding. I think it's so important to make it clear ahead of time what you think about such things. Doesn't matter if some people think it's nothing, and some people think it's wrong. You and your partner need to agree about how it will go in your family.
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    steph861holyguacamole79
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    This is also a good case for picking battles.  It's his bachelor party.  He was supposed to go have fun.  He did.  He didn't cheat, get an STD, get arrested for public intox, drain a bank account, end up in a hospital with alcohol poisoning, or get a tattoo.

    Problem number one--trying to control the bachelor party.  If you're marrying him, presumably he's trustworthy and will have fun without doing anything stupid.

    Problem number two: asking about the bachelor party.  It should have been something for him and the guys, not something where you get the play by play anyway.
    Damn, this is strike two at your attempt to advise OP.  OP made it clear what boundaries she could accept.  He ignored them.  THAT is the problem.  There are a bazillion things guys can do for fun that don't include strippers.  If that boundary has been set and he agreed to it he WAS wrong.

    Also - in 17 1/2 years of marriage there has been NOTHING I could not ask my husband about.  NOTHING.  He is over the top remarkable about the boundaries I have for a successful marriage and I truly hope I have been the same regarding his.  She did nothing wrong by asking and she did nothing wrong by having the no strippers boundary.  She said their conversation went like this:  " I had told him how I felt about him getting a lap dance and that it would really bother me.  He said that he had no intentions to and if someone bought one, he'd probably just give it to one of his buddies. "
  • MegEn1MegEn1 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    It was rude and disrespectful of your FI to ignore your request about the lap dance. He could have discussed it with you if he disagreed with your request. The fact that he just went against it is a no-no. Your feelings are entirely legitimate, and don't let anyone tell you differently. If you hadn't told him that you'd prefer he not get one and he did anyway, it wouldn't be a big deal because he didn't know it would hurt you. In this case, he knew it would make you unhappy but he did it anyway. That's the real issue.

    Honestly, at the end of the day, you have to be the one to decide if this is enough of a problem to fuss over. Either way though, I would recommend pointing out to him how you feel, that you're upset that he went ahead and did this after you told him it would upset you, and that if he disagrees he can state his case but you would very much prefer that it not happen again.

    That's not trying to control him or his party. That's making a request of him based on your feelings - something all people do in relationships. All relationships have boundaries, and it is up to each couple to set their own. The only way those boundaries work or matter is if the couple respects each other enough to respect their relationship. 

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    hales2010
  • Wow... just... wow. I must certainly have a different relationship than most of you ladies (not saying it's right or wrong, but it's just completely foreign to me).

    I would CERTAINLY have a problem with my FI getting a lap dance. Going out with the sole intent of admiring another woman in a sexual manner is, in my opinion, cheating (I feel that way about porn too). If my FI sees a real head-turner of a woman in the grocery store and passes a glance... ok, whatever. I'm guilty of doing that with men. But (again, just my opinion), if he goes out and actively looks for that kind of thing after committing to someone (including dating, engagement, etc), then there's a problem with that.

    That said... my definition of "cheating" is probably a lot more broad than most people's. The best definition of cheating I've heard which describes exactly how I see it is "anything that would cheat the other partner out of intimacy and trust in the other person or relationship"- whether that's issues with fidelity, money, alcohol, drugs, overworking, not spending time with your partner, doing something that's against your core values as a couple,  etc.

    I would certainly question motives if fidelity wasn't top on the priority list, but then again my fiancé and I have discussed it and he feels pretty much the same way, so we're on the same page. Sounds like that's a discussion you need to have with him- not over the actual lap dance itself, but it sounds like there are some underlying respect and communication issues that you need to get resolved before you get married.

    hales2010
  • spara0038 said:

    Wow... just... wow. I must certainly have a different relationship than most of you ladies (not saying it's right or wrong, but it's just completely foreign to me).

    I would CERTAINLY have a problem with my FI getting a lap dance. Going out with the sole intent of admiring another woman in a sexual manner is, in my opinion, cheating (I feel that way about porn too). If my FI sees a real head-turner of a woman in the grocery store and passes a glance... ok, whatever. I'm guilty of doing that with men. But (again, just my opinion), if he goes out and actively looks for that kind of thing after committing to someone (including dating, engagement, etc), then there's a problem with that.

    That said... my definition of "cheating" is probably a lot more broad than most people's. The best definition of cheating I've heard which describes exactly how I see it is "anything that would cheat the other partner out of intimacy and trust in the other person or relationship"- whether that's issues with fidelity, money, alcohol, drugs, overworking, not spending time with your partner, doing something that's against your core values as a couple,  etc.

    I would certainly question motives if fidelity wasn't top on the priority list, but then again my fiancé and I have discussed it and he feels pretty much the same way, so we're on the same page. Sounds like that's a discussion you need to have with him- not over the actual lap dance itself, but it sounds like there are some underlying respect and communication issues that you need to get resolved before you get married.

    I am very happy to see someone shares this view with me. Though I am ok with porn, I would not be ok with some other girl rubbing her junk on my FI. I look at it this way. He would not want me dancing topless/half naked on some other guy so why would it be ok for him to have some half naked/topless girl dance on him. Thankfully my FI and I have had this talk and he shares this opinion with me.
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 


  • Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     
    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers



    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     

    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.


    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic.

    This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.
    image



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    climbingwifeatlastmrsgholyguacamole79
  • chibiyui said:



    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     

    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic.

    This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.

    I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so...

    I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.
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  • Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     
    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic. This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.
    I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.
    Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.

    chibiyuibeetheryJasperandOpalVulgarGirl
  • brideofgingerbrideofginger member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    beethery said:
    kns1988 said:

    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     
    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic. This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.
    I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.
    Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
    UUUUUUGH THIS.

    "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

    "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."
    I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)
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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    beethery said:
    kns1988 said:

    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     
    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic. This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.
    I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.
    Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
    UUUUUUGH THIS.

    "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

    "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."
    I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)
    Generally speaking, telling someone that you don't know that the place they work sucks, and that they should go back to college and better themselves is extremely presumptuous and rude. I work retail, I have a BFA. I have had customers ask me why I work there. I can just laugh it off at this point, but if someone told me I needed to better myself back when I was depressed, working retail and fed ex to be able to make payments on my goddamn student loans, I probably would have spent the rest of the day crying because I felt like a failure. 
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What's a video store @brideofginger‌ ?
    brideofgingerkns1988
  • What's a video store @brideofginger‌ ?
    Nobody knows anymore! 
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  • brideofgingerbrideofginger member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    chibiyui said:
    beethery said:
    kns1988 said:

    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     
    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic. This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.
    I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.
    Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
    UUUUUUGH THIS.

    "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

    "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."
    I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)
    Generally speaking, telling someone that you don't know that the place they work sucks, and that they should go back to college and better themselves is extremely presumptuous and rude. I work retail, I have a BFA. I have had customers ask me why I work there. I can just laugh it off at this point, but if someone told me I needed to better myself back when I was depressed, working retail and fed ex to be able to make payments on my goddamn student loans, I probably would have spent the rest of the day crying because I felt like a failure. 
    True. I would, however, invite you to check out an Oklahoma strip club sometime and see how great you feel for the folks working there. I realize there are awesome places where the women are respected and the industry is viewed much more positively. The Bible Belt ain't it. I would guess the women there experience much worse interactions than a drunk guy trying to talk them into changing jobs.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    chibiyui said:
    beethery said:
    kns1988 said:

    Uh, OK? Good for you ladies. Everyone has a different relationship and honestly, your posts come off as extremely judgmental. 
     
     
    I got jumped at earlier on this post for posting about my dad having an affair with a stripper and when I have seen other ladies with my opinion post on here they usually get judged for being untrustworthy or rude for wanting to control their FI. Regardless of the opinion your going to be judged. I have found that out from this site which is why I do not care to say my opinion on here anymore.
    Well, if you think all strippers are bad because one stripper had an affair with your dad, that's a prejudice/fault in your logic. This thread is also kinda old now. I think that's the bigger issue here.
    I know nobody cares now, but I wouldn't care if my FI went to a strip club. But he also told me that one of the only times he went, he got drunk and tried to talk a girl out of her job and into going back to college, so... I mean, really, he'd probably feel grosser and more guilty about it than I would.
    Ughhhhh I hate men that have to try to be saviors. Strippers are not damsels in distress that need saving. They're women doing their damn jobs.
    UUUUUUGH THIS.

    "Don't you want to go to college and try to make something of yourself?"

    "I paid for tuition with last months tips. By the way, you owe me $60."
    I hadn't realized it was horribly offensive/The Worst Thing Ever. I just thought it was funny. He probably could have/would have had the same conversation if it had been someone behind the counter at a Blockbuster Video or something (and I can attest that video stores are a godawful place to work.)
    Generally speaking, telling someone that you don't know that the place they work sucks, and that they should go back to college and better themselves is extremely presumptuous and rude. I work retail, I have a BFA. I have had customers ask me why I work there. I can just laugh it off at this point, but if someone told me I needed to better myself back when I was depressed, working retail and fed ex to be able to make payments on my goddamn student loans, I probably would have spent the rest of the day crying because I felt like a failure. 
    True. I would, however, invite you to check out an Oklahoma strip club sometime and see how great you feel for the folks working there. I realize there are awesome places where the women are respected and the industry is viewed much more positively. The Bible Belt ain't it. I would guess the women there experience much worse interactions than a drunk guy trying to talk them into changing jobs.
    I've had customers tell me to go to hell. That doesn't make the ones who ask why "such a smart girl is selling mattresses" any better. 
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  • chibiyui - I've had about ten years in retail/service industry. I know how you feel. In retrospect, there were always more important places for me to direct my outrage than to people who thought they were being nice but were inadvertently being rude to me.
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