Dress details- to share or not??

carybrad2014

I have a friend who keeps asking me to see pictures of my dress.  She came to my bachelorette party, etc so we are pretty good friends.  I personally feel the dress is supposed to be a surprise to all guests the day of the wedding. I don't have pictures of my dress because I don't want my fiance to accidentally see it and it came from a boutique so it isn't on a website where I could say something like "go to Davids and find dress F-108" so she could see it without it being on me.  I keep blowing it off telling her I don't have pictures but she keeps asking. One of my bridesmaids does have pictures from the day I picked it and the girl knows that.  Is it me or isn't it rude to ask a bride to see pictures of her dress before the wedding? Or am I being rude by not wanting to show her?

manateehugger

carybrad2014 said:

I have a friend who keeps asking me to see pictures of my dress.  She came to my bachelorette party, etc so we are pretty good friends.  I personally feel the dress is supposed to be a surprise to all guests the day of the wedding. I don't have pictures of my dress because I don't want my fiance to accidentally see it and it came from a boutique so it isn't on a website where I could say something like "go to Davids and find dress F-108" so she could see it without it being on me.  I keep blowing it off telling her I don't have pictures but she keeps asking. One of my bridesmaids does have pictures from the day I picked it and the girl knows that.  Is it me or isn't it rude to ask a bride to see pictures of her dress before the wedding? Or am I being rude by not wanting to show her?

Lol, well I've never felt the bolded, because really I never care that much about the suprise dress as a wedding guest. Most of my friends have seen my dress; hell, random people I work with have seen my dress.

But at the end of the day, it's your decision. Just say you wanted to keep it a surprise for everyone and that you aren't showing pictures. If she asks again, just say, "Girl, I already told you it's supposed to be a surprise! You'll see it eventually." You could always describe it to her to get her off your back.

If nothing else, be flattered that she's that excited to see your dress.

doeydo

Just tell her you want to keep it a surprise.  She should really drop it, I mean, to ask the first time was OK I guess but to keep asking is just rude and annoying, IMO.

theexactlee

I've never felt that way. When my friends get married we totally share the dress around. When I've been looking at dresses I show as many people who will let me. Stranger on the bench ya'll. LOL. But at the end of the day, this is your choice. I considered showing every dress I liked but then not telling anyone which I chose. So do what you want to do and congrats on your super special moment.

[Deleted User]

I shared it with a few people, but most people had to wait until the wedding photos were posted. If you don't want to share, you are totally in your right to say "I appreciate how excited you are about my dress but it's very special to me and I prefer not to share the details of it with people until my wedding, I hope you can understand."

Senecaf

I wouldn't have a problem sharing, it's a big deal and some people just think it's fun. But if you don't want to don't! She should understand that.

ElcaB

I don't think it's rude to ask a bride about her dress. 

The reason she keeps asking is because you aren't being honest with her. Next time she asks, just tell her you're waiting until the wedding day for everyone to see it. Then she'll stop asking. 

theartistformerlyknownas

I thought for a hot second that I wanted to keep my dress a surprise, then I realized how very much I wanted to show it off to anyone who would indulge me. So like half our guest list has seen the picture. Whatever! I'll still look 1000x better on my wedding day than I did with my dirty hair pulled back in a bun the day I bought it, so I think I'll still get the *gasp* walking down the aisle.

AddieCake

I shared it with a few people. I agree she keeps asking b/c you are not being honest. If you don't want her to see it, there is nothing wrong with just saying you'd rather nobody saw it before the wedding.

climbingsingle

I would just tell her you want it to be a surprise. I don't necessarily think it's rude to ask. But personally I don't ask because I know that some do want to keep it a secret. 

vmj23

Just be honest and tell her you want it to be a suprise, nothnig wrong with that.  I personally showed many people my dress...anyone that asked, other than my finance.

Ven&Radio

I don't think it's rude to ask once or twice (that's showing an interest IMO).  Asking repeatedly aftering being put off is kind of rude.

My personal feeling on it was, if my FI didn't get to see the dress, no one else did either.  Only my parents, MOH (she was my only BM) and H's mom saw my dress before the wedding day.  I've had friends show everyone pictures of their dress.  It's really a personal preference.  There's nothing wrong with telling someone you'd prefer not to share.

charlottesmom0626

I'm so thrilled with my dress I'll show it to anyone who mentions the wedding. As PPs said, it'll be so so much better when you're all done up on your wedding day.

missnc77

I'm happy to show my dress to any of my friends that ask about it, especially if I know they can't make it to the wedding (invited of course, just can't make it). I do find myself being less showy with it around my FI's friends' wives even though I am very friendly with them. I think it's one thing to see how you look in a sample on an iPhone vs. the actual wedding day. However, if she is friend enough to be at your bachelorette party, what's the harm in just being honest with her and tell her you want everyone to be surprised on the actual day? There's nothing offensive or wrong with that unless you're showing everyone but her. Any level headed person would completely understand.

missnc77

jenni1221 said:

Just be honest and tell her you want it to be a suprise, nothnig wrong with that.  I personally showed many people my dress...anyone that asked, other than my finance.

I had so much fun taking pictures of the garment bag that it came in and sending it to my FI. It's a trumpet fit, but I made the bag puff out so much that it looked like a huge ball gown inside.