I'm really heartbroken that he doesn't want to and I've tried to tell him how much it would mean to me, and that this is my first wedding, and I want it to be really special and what would make it special is having my dad walk me down the aisle, father/daughter dance, and the toast. That's all I ask, and I never ask him for anything. He didn't want to wear a bow tie, I made it so that he didn't have to wear a bow tie and only my groom will wearing a bow tie and the rest of the gentlemen wear regular ties. Please help! How do I tell my dad, without sounding rude, that I want him to give a a short, simple toast and I don't want to take no for an answer?
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Re: Dad doesn't want to give a toast
I agree with PPs. I would not want to force it upon him if he has already stated he doesn't want to. My mother said she doesn't like speaking in front of people and doesn't want to say anything. My father only speaks Spanish and said he wasn't too comfortable speaking in front of others. That's perfectly fine with me.
Don't let that cloud the rest of your day. There will be plenty of special moments with the two of you that does not have to be publicly expressed.
My dad isn't really comfortable with public speaking so after the MOH and BM gave their toasts my H and I thanked everyone again for coming and then the party began! short and sweet
He may change his mind on the day. Wait and see but let him decide
I am in favor of an adult stepping out of his/her comfort zone long enough to please his daughter on one of the most important days of her life, her wedding day. So I agree, he really should give a toast, sincerely and whole-heartedly.
But he doesn't want to. You are going to have to come to terms with that. It doesn't mean he is right.
I didn't even think to ask my dad to give a toast at my wedding. And nobody felt like it was missing from the events.
But, it sounds like you've made your opinion clear to your dad. And he's made his clear to you. You can't force him to speak. And it's really not a big deal if he doesn't. If he has a problem speaking in front of people, maybe ask him to make a more private & personal tribute to you, like writing a letter for you to read privately before wedding. Plus, then you have the written letter to keep forever.
The only time fathers give toasts/speeches is if they're hosting the wedding AND feel comfortable doing so. He has no obligation just because he's your dad. My dad actually said "you don't expect me to give a toast, right? No random microphone shoved into my hand by surprise like at (sister)'s wedding?" I said "oh hell no, I plan to keep those to a minimum so we can get along with dinner!"
I do think outside the box a lot, so I have dealt with people disagreeing with me, all my life. You ladies are hardly the first to rip me a new one.
I still think there is nothing cute about a grown man with a grown daughter getting married, who is "uncomfortable" speaking at his daughter's wedding. His daughter protecting daddy's feelings. Vomit.
Yes really, what kind of a father doesn't care about his daughter being heartbroken on her wedding day, because he won't leave his comfort zone to give a short toast?
So much for your "love" theory.