Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Dad doesn't want to give a toast

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Re: Dad doesn't want to give a toast

  • danamw said:

    Yes really, what kind of a father doesn't care about his daughter being heartbroken on her wedding day, because he won't leave his comfort zone to give a short toast?

    So much for your "love" theory.


    UHM if you're getting heartbroken over a stupid speech, you need a serious reality check.
  • danamwdanamw member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I am still in favor of adults getting over themselves, and for a few minutes in a lifetime, doing the right thing. Now I am done. I don't care anymore, I am glad it isn't me.
  • danamw said:
    I am still in favor of adults getting over themselves, and for a few minutes in a lifetime, doing the right thing. Now I am done. I don't care anymore, I am glad it isn't me.
    How is the right thing? I just don't understand. I don't think I've ever seen the FOB make a speech at a wedding - and I go to a crap ton of weddings. 

    The world doesn't change because you have a ring on your finger and are wearing a white dress. 
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  • danamw said:

    Yes really, what kind of a father doesn't care about his daughter being heartbroken on her wedding day, because he won't leave his comfort zone to give a short toast?

    So much for your "love" theory.

    danamw said:
    I am still in favor of adults getting over themselves, and for a few minutes in a lifetime, doing the right thing. Now I am done. I don't care anymore, I am glad it isn't me.
    image
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  • danamw said:
    I am still in favor of adults getting over themselves, and for a few minutes in a lifetime, doing the right thing. Now I am done. I don't care anymore, I am glad it isn't me.
    I'm also in favor of grown adults getting over themselves.   Like right now, I think it's time that YOU, get over YOURSELF.

    How on EARTH is giving a toast doing the right thing?    Saying no to a request isn't wrong or bad.    He's not comfortable doing it and as his daughter (someone who loves him and respects him), she needs to respect that.    Respect and love work BOTH ways and a daughter who respects her dad respects his answer and moves on.    Only someone who DOESN'T respect him thinks that she's entitled to what she desires in the name of herself.   


  • I wasn't going to come to this thread anymore, but I am going back on that.

    Everyone here comes off as so sensitive and wise, yet no one gets it, that the OP said she was heartbroken because her father said NO to saying a few words in a toast to her, his own daughter, on her *wedding day*.  If he still remains stubborn in the NO, how is that something to respect and love?

    Would it really be so hard and damaging to him to say a few words if it means so much? A middle-aged man is that shy and gawky?

  • danamw said:

    I wasn't going to come to this thread anymore, but I am going back on that.

    Everyone here comes off as so sensitive and wise, yet no one gets it, that the OP said she was heartbroken because her father said NO to saying a few words in a toast to her, his own daughter, on her *wedding day*.  If he still remains stubborn in the NO, how is that something to respect and love?

    Would it really be so hard and damaging to him to say a few words if it means so much? A middle-aged man is that shy and gawky?

    Oh for the love of chocolate.

    Look if a daughter is that heartbroken because her Dad doesn't want to give a toast for whatever reason then she should probably see a therapist because there has to be underlying issues.,

    As a daughter who loves her Father then she should be understanding of his decision and reason as to why he does not want to give a toast.  That is what normal, loving and grown children do.  They don't throw a hissy fit and say they are heartbroken because they don't get what they want.

  • danamw said:

    I wasn't going to come to this thread anymore, but I am going back on that.

    Everyone here comes off as so sensitive and wise, yet no one gets it, that the OP said she was heartbroken because her father said NO to saying a few words in a toast to her, his own daughter, on her *wedding day*.  If he still remains stubborn in the NO, how is that something to respect and love?

    Would it really be so hard and damaging to him to say a few words if it means so much? A middle-aged man is that shy and gawky?

    Do you realize that public speaking is feared more than death?

    Your rationale is what manipulative people say to get their way. You need to accept that what isn't a big deal to you IS a big deal to others.
  • danamw said:

    I wasn't going to come to this thread anymore, but I am going back on that.

    Everyone here comes off as so sensitive and wise, yet no one gets it, that the OP said she was heartbroken because her father said NO to saying a few words in a toast to her, his own daughter, on her *wedding day*.  If he still remains stubborn in the NO, how is that something to respect and love?

    Would it really be so hard and damaging to him to say a few words if it means so much? A middle-aged man is that shy and gawky?

    To the first bolded: What you're not "getting" is that it's unreasonable for her to be heartbroken unless she has some serious daddy issues, in which case she should probably consult a professional.

    To the second bolded: So you think she'd be right in losing love and respect for her dad because he doesn't want to give a toast? What planet of unreasonable consequences do you live on?

    To the third bolded: Yes, maybe. You don't know this man and it's inappropriate for you to judge.
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  • Okay. NOW I understand better. Some of the things you all say make sense. We don't know whether this girl pulls this kind of thing on a regular basis. And we don't know if her dad is a hopeless dweeb, or a war vet who suffers from anxiety. Anything is possible. No, no one should lose love or respect for anyone based on one day, even a wedding. It would have to be egregious.
  • danamw said:
    Okay. NOW I understand better. Some of the things you all say make sense. We don't know whether this girl pulls this kind of thing on a regular basis. And we don't know if her dad is a hopeless dweeb, or a war vet who suffers from anxiety. Anything is possible. No, no one should lose love or respect for anyone based on one day, even a wedding. It would have to be egregious.
    Or, you know, if he just doesn't feel comfortable with public speaking. 



  • No one is required to "get over" not wanting to give a toast at a wedding.

    The person who has "getting over it" to do in this area is you.
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