Chit Chat

XXXX

lazajaclazajac member
First Comment
edited June 2014 in Chit Chat
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Re: XXXX

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I'd be pretty upset, too, unless he booked it before he got your STD.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    When did he book the cruise?

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Yeah, I would feel really hurt. I'm sorry. :)

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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would be disappointed and temporarily hurt, but would not hold a lifelong grudge over the issue. Invitations are not summons. I swear the only reason DH knows his sister's wedding date is because it's our anniversary also. Although DH would have a general idea of the when and ask before booking.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • He did book the cruise in March and the STD's didnt go out until April, however, as I mentioned, he has been part of the conversation since November, knowing that we are getting married on the 8th anniversary of us meeting.
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Well, are you sure he knows the date you met 8 years ago? I can't tell you most of my best friend's anniversaries. That's kind of silly to expect him to remember the exact date. And if he booked it before the STD went out, I don't really see how you can be so angry with him.
    Yeah, I'm leaning toward this.

    I completely understand being bummed out about it.  And having a first reaction of, "what the flip?!"  But it sounds like it was an honest mistake and a little miscommunication.  Go out to dinner afterwards and he can share photos of his cruise and you of your wedding!
    Anniversary

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  • Cruise booking are non-refundable as much as 90 days before the sailing date.  Trip insurance is non-refundable.  Airline tickets are often non-refundable.
    Let it go.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    OK, I would not expect someone to just remember my date like that.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • raissyraisraissyrais London member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Do you think that maybe he's always been in love with you and just can't see you get married to someone else? Tum tum tum
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  • SBminiSBmini member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    He's a guy and sometimes guys can be awful at remembering things like this. I still have to remind my husband when his niece and nephew's birthdays are. The kids are 8 and 5! So I wouldn't put it past him to forget a date that is three months away if he doesn't have a STD on his fridge. But it is strange that he wouldn't at least think, "Hmmm isn't Lazajac's wedding around this time? I should check with her."

    I had this happen to me. She's a person who I had considered a really good friend. Every time I saw her after I got engaged she'd start the conversation out asking about planning and saying things like, "What are we doing?" or "Where are we eating?" She knew the date, and was one of the first people I told. I thought her RSVP would be one of the first I received. Instead, I got nothing. I messaged her to make sure she got the invitation and she replied that she was sorry she couldn't go, because she was going to San Diego the week before and couldn't afford two trips to California. 

    Ok fine, your life doesn't revolve around my wedding. But why would you act so excited if you were going to make plans that trumped my wedding? I was really hurt when it happened, but my husband reminded me that it isn't the first time she's flaked on me. And I realized he was right. She always had an excuse as to why she had to change plans or couldn't come to a party. 

    Oh, but she said we would have to catch up after I got married. So I tested her. I haven't reached out to make plans with her. And she hasn't so much as said a word to me since I got married two months ago. I guess I got my answer. 
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  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I would let it go.  You can't expect somebody else to not make plans for a whole 2 months around a date that you want months in advance.  Heck, I've double booked myself for plenty of things because I forgot to put it in my calendar!  I'm horrible with dates.

    My best friend cannot make my wedding because of health reasons.  I plan on still sending her a Welcome Bag and favor.


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    Anniversary
  • I'd be mad for awhile then let it go.

    He's probably a stereotypical guy and didn't remember the date. Doesn't matter if you talked about it every week leading up to when he booked the cruise. He just didn't remember and booked the cruise.

    What would make me really mad for a long time is if this person was apart of the wedding party. But this isn't the case here. He's just a really good friend. And a wedding invitation isn't a court summons.
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  • lazajac said:
    He did book the cruise in March and the STD's didnt go out until April, however, as I mentioned, he has been part of the conversation since November, knowing that we are getting married on the 8th anniversary of us meeting.
    I just asked DH to tell me the day we met…….he has no clue. Neither do I. I sure wouldn't expect someone else to remember it.  

    I have exactly one friend who I can tell you the date she met her husband. That is only because some really major things happened that weekend that I will never forget. If she hadn't met him then I wouldn't have a clue.  
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  • FI and I actually met about 5 months before our first date at a mutual friend's birthday party (the friend who eventually set us up) but neither of us has any memory of meeting each other (there's a picture of us sitting a few seats away from each other - it's weird), and I have to look at a calendar to remember my own dating anniversary.

    Be sad, be disappointed, but don't let it become a rift.
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    PrettyGirlLostJasperandOpal
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Now that you have clarified he booked the cruise before StDs went out-- yeah, you are overreacting.  Especially that you jumped to thinking he's "not a real friend."  It's pretty unreasonable he would just remember your wedding date off the top of his head like that.

    Let it go.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    PrettyGirlLost
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    You need to get over this.

    He booked the cruise before you sent out your STDs. It doesn't matter that you verbally told him what date you wanted to get married back in November; 1st, at that time you were basically just pulling a date out of your ass bc no one officially has set a wedding date until they have actually signed a contract and put a deposit down on their venues, and 2nd why in the world would you think your friend would remember your dating anniversary? !

    It has nothing to do with him being a guy as PPs have suggested, and everything to do with the fact that your dating anniversary is totally irrelevant to him unless he's dating you!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    pinkshorts27chibiyuisnippet17hellohkb
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited June 2014
    Awwww...another DD.  Another speshul snowflake bites the dust.  I guess she just couldn't handle the truth - that her wedding is NOT the most important date in everybody's life.
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    PrettyGirlLostpumpkinsandturkeys
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Aww, no one quoted the OP. :(

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    ~*~*~*~*~

    ashley8918beetherysarawifenowperdonami
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
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    what a great puppy!
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  • Yes! Didn't realize OP had cross posted, and cross dropped. Now I feel doubly proud of myself for quoting her. I had a sense... 
    OliveOilsMomashley8918
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said:

    I don't even know my own dating anniversary, I'm certainly not going to remember a friend's.  


    I don't even remember most of my friends' wedding anniversaries.  I'm bad at birthdays too. 

    This, to OP.

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I don't even know my own dating anniversary, I'm certainly not going to remember a friend's.  

    I don't even remember most of my friends' wedding anniversaries.  I'm bad at birthdays too. 
    This, to OP.
    FI and I met at a party at my best friend's house less than 2 years ago, and even she doesn't remember the date.

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'm shocked by the DD. Just shocked.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    miaawallacerajahmd
  • KatieinBklnKatieinBkln (NO SLEEP TIL) Brooklyn! member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
    paperpusher
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