I was originally not planning a rehearsal dinner because my hubby-to-be and I cannot afford it. However, we got so much backlash from his family that is coming from out-of-town. Now we feel obligated to host a rehearsal dinner but we still cannot afford it and no one is offering to help with the costs. My future MIL thinks that it should be ok to tell them that they need to pay their own way. FI and I plan to pay for ourselves, our children, and the pastor that is performing our ceremony. How do we invite people to the rehearsal dinner? Do we send invites or make phone calls? If we make a phone call are we to just come out and say "You are welcome to come to our rehearsal dinner. However, in light of the costs we are asking everyone to pay their own way."? Or do we send invites? And if so, how do we word it so that everyone knows that it is not on our dime.
Also, please keep in mind that we are going to a local Chinese buffet for the rehearsal dinner so it will only be $11.95 per person plus whatever the cost of their drinks are. And the bridal party is fine paying for themselves as we already handled the discussion with them. Advice right now would be so appreciated as I am about to lose what sanity I have left.