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Etiquette

Not honeymooning until 3 months after wedding-- thank you card etiquette?

peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
Hi everyone!

My fiance and I are planning to honeymoon 3 months after our wedding. I really, really want to send out thank you cards with a picture of us from our honeymoon but am worried that the 3 month mark will be too late. I fear a lot of our family-- especially older relatives-- still believe thank you cards should be sent out within the month after the wedding. Friends and younger relatives I'm not worried about, plus most of them know we are not honeymooning right away.

Has anyone dealt with this before?
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Re: Not honeymooning until 3 months after wedding-- thank you card etiquette?

  • Definitely send thank you cards before your honeymoon.  Thank you's should be sent within a few weeks, not several months.  Wanting to show friends a picture from your honeymoon is not an excuse for waiting.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
    MGPSewInLoveWithDMB
  • I would find it odd to receive a thank you card with a pic of you guys on your honeymoon.  Just send your thank you cards soon after the wedding.  You can show pics of your honeymoon to family and friends who ask to see them after you get back.
    MGPdoeydoperdonamiSewInLoveWithDMB
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It is proper to send them out within a month of the wedding. If you feel very strongly about sharing a picture from your HM (not sure why? HM registry??) then I recommend using a pic for your holiday card, if the dates happen to work out that way.

     







  • Too late. Find another picture, if you really need to. 
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Ditto Jells and Nikki. I would think it was really weird, but if you want to do it the holiday card is a good option.

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  • I wouldn't wait JUST because you want to include a specific picture. Thank yous should be sent right away, not procrastinated until after your vacation three months away.
    Out of curiosity, why a HM pic? Why not include a pic from the wedding, since that's what the gift was for?
    image
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Since some are asking we are honeymooning in the Swiss Alps right after the holidays and I had a vision of us taking a romantic photo, putting the pic on the thank you card and sending them out as soon as we got home. We are getting married in October so I wouldn't be able to incorporate a thank you card into the hoilday cards I send yearly (I think this is rude, right?)
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    just send out the invites.   TY are daunting enough for some people.   It's silly to put off the process for a picture of you on your HM.  3 months because 4+ after you get back, get the picture developed, then write and send them out.   

    Sorry to be blunt, but most people will not care about the pictures.   They just want a thank you note.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    MGPpinkshorts27MNVegasdoeydo
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    Since some are asking we are honeymooning in the Swiss Alps right after the holidays and I had a vision of us taking a romantic photo, putting the pic on the thank you card and sending them out as soon as we got home. We are getting married in October so I wouldn't be able to incorporate a thank you card into the hoilday cards I send yearly (I think this is rude, right?)
    No you can't make the holiday card do double duty as the thank you note, you are correct it is rude as it would be far too long.
    Send the thank you notes with a month of the wedding and then use the romantic Alps photo for your holiday card. Problem solved! :)

    ETA I read that wrong. Your thank you's should still go out before holiday cards are typically sent. Send Valentines out with the photo if you really want people to see it???
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    pinkshorts27
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Thanks!
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  • Your gut is correct:

    - TYs should be sent out within a month of the wedding
    - don't double them up with holiday cards, you should be thanking people separately from wishing them a merry christmas

    Still take the picture, just put it in a frame and put it up in your house. Show it to people when they come over if you want them to see a photo of your honeymoon.
    *********************************************************************************

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    doeydo
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2014
    you can always take a picture to use for your holiday  cards.    Bring santa hats if you want.


    ETA - i can't read, I though your trip was in October.  But there is not thing wrong with you using the photo for holiday cards for Dec 2015.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    SewInLoveWithDMB
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Yep, rude to have a combo thank you/holiday card. 

    Oftentimes people who want to do a photo thank you card will use one from their engagement session, so the cards are ready to go in time for the wedding.

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  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Yeah, I def did NOT mean to use the holiday cards as a way to also incorporate TYs. I thought maybe you were getting married next month, HMing in Oct, and could send a HM pic and/or wedding pic for the holidays.

     







  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Oh, and FWIW, the Swiss Alps are stunning! One of my fav places in Europe. too bad the timing isn't right because that would be a lovely pic for a holiday card.

     







    peachy13
  • Since some are asking we are honeymooning in the Swiss Alps right after the holidays and I had a vision of us taking a romantic photo, putting the pic on the thank you card and sending them out as soon as we got home. We are getting married in October so I wouldn't be able to incorporate a thank you card into the hoilday cards I send yearly (I think this is rude, right?)

    If you want to use a romantic photo, just find one from your wedding. That's a good tie-in for the thank you cards. You two on a random vacation with a random mountain in the background will come across as... random.
    Don't be stuck on this vision you had. It's causing you to overthink this picture perfect scenic randomness.

    Thank you cards and holiday cards should be separate, of course.

    Honestly? You'll probably have more people look at your Alps pic if you post it on Instagram, anyway lol.
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    ashleyepdoeydo
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    Ditto Jells and Nikki. I would think it was really weird, but if you want to do it the holiday card is a good option.

    I don't think it's weird at all to get a picture like that from a close family member or close friend. Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families? I find it more weird to walk into a house and see pictures of the couple displayed everywhere. . . And only the couple.

    However, I wouldn't wait 3 months to send Thank You cards out to your guests. Send them all out before you leave.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Use the pictures in your holiday cards to friends and family.  Send out thank you notes NOW!!!!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary

    Ditto Jells and Nikki. I would think it was really weird, but if you want to do it the holiday card is a good option.

    I don't think it's weird at all to get a picture like that from a close family member or close friend. Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families? I find it more weird to walk into a house and see pictures of the couple displayed everywhere. . . And only the couple.

    However, I wouldn't wait 3 months to send Thank You cards out to your guests. Send them all out before you leave.

    I didn't necessarily mean the picture itself was weird, but getting a thank you card 3 months late just so a HM pic could be included would strike me as weird. Especially because weddings and honeymoons are totally separate things in my mind - you're thanking me for a wedding gift, why a HM picture? A wedding picture I would understand.

    I have framed pics of my and FI's family all over the house, more than of us. None of friends, although their holiday cards/pics get displayed for a month or two.

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    PrettyGirlLostpinkshorts27
  • Ditto Jells and Nikki. I would think it was really weird, but if you want to do it the holiday card is a good option.
    I don't think it's weird at all to get a picture like that from a close family member or close friend. Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families? I find it more weird to walk into a house and see pictures of the couple displayed everywhere. . . And only the couple. However, I wouldn't wait 3 months to send Thank You cards out to your guests. Send them all out before you leave.
    I do keep pictures of my family and friends on display... but they're pictures I took or pictures of us together or, like, I'm at the event with them and had so much fun, but I'm not necessarily in the picture with them. I do not have pictures displayed of my family or friends on their vacations.
    The ONLY exceptions are school photos (friends' kids and cousins) and pics of my parents and grandparents before I was born.
    I would think it was super weird if someone sent me a picture of themselves on their honeymoon to be displayed. If I wanted a picture of them I could display, I'd take one of them at their wedding I attended lol.

    I do think it's a bit weird when a couple only has photos of themselves. It makes me wonder if they care to remember the other people in their lives.

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    pinkshorts27als1982
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers

     Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families?
    I do keep pictures of my family and friends on display... but they're pictures I took or pictures of us together or, like, I'm at the event with them and had so much fun, but I'm not necessarily in the picture with them. I do not have pictures displayed of my family or friends on their vacations.

    I would think it was super weird if someone sent me a picture of themselves on their honeymoon to be displayed. If I wanted a picture of them I could display, I'd take one of them at their wedding I attended lol.



    This. Like I said, if I didn't even go on the vacation, I have no connection to it, so why would I want a picture of friends on a vacation that I was not part of? 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    pinkshorts27
  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 Oregon member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    AddieCake said:






     Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families?

    I do keep pictures of my family and friends on display... but they're pictures I took or pictures of us together or, like, I'm at the event with them and had so much fun, but I'm not necessarily in the picture with them. I do not have pictures displayed of my family or friends on their vacations.

    I would think it was super weird if someone sent me a picture of themselves on their honeymoon to be displayed. If I wanted a picture of them I could display, I'd take one of them at their wedding I attended lol.




    This. Like I said, if I didn't even go on the vacation, I have no connection to it, so why would I want a picture of friends on a vacation that I was not part of? 

    I agree. The exception for me would be my parents. I do have a wedding photo of them and a great picture of them in Hawaii.


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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited June 2014
    I would find it odd to receive a thank you card with a pic of you guys on your honeymoon.  Just send your thank you cards soon after the wedding.  You can show pics of your honeymoon to family and friends who ask to see them after you get back.
    This. I don't understand why you would want a honeymoon picture. Weird. 

    I would also side-eye waiting three months. 
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2014

     Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families?
    I do keep pictures of my family and friends on display... but they're pictures I took or pictures of us together or, like, I'm at the event with them and had so much fun, but I'm not necessarily in the picture with them. I do not have pictures displayed of my family or friends on their vacations.

    I would think it was super weird if someone sent me a picture of themselves on their honeymoon to be displayed. If I wanted a picture of them I could display, I'd take one of them at their wedding I attended lol.



    This. Like I said, if I didn't even go on the vacation, I have no connection to it, so why would I want a picture of friends on a vacation that I was not part of? 
    I agree. The exception for me would be my parents. I do have a wedding photo of them and a great picture of them in Hawaii.
    Yep.  The only pictures of someone's vacation we were not in attendance is my sister and her family.  They are on a 50 state quest. Actually in state 49 right now, 50 - Hawaii is in Dec.  Anyway she gives us a calendar every year with pictures from their trips.  In her defense she wanted to stop giving us a calendar years ago.  However, DH got disappointed when he found out he was no longer getting a calendar of HIS nieces and nephews.  LOL -  So my sister continues to give him the calendar and it hangs in our kitchen.

    Other than the calendar I would find it odd to get a vacation picture from someone, especially if I was not on said vacation.

    On another note, in my thank you notes I gave guests pictures of themselves at the wedding.  Yep, I had a lot of great shots of people.  Some are with me, DH, both, neither of us.  Some were group shots of family or friends with or without us in the shot.   If I found a good shot of the guest and thought they might like the picture I slipped it in their TY note.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    als1982
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If you absolutely must use a picture, use an engagement picture, or take a cell phone picture now and make the prints at a drugstore or something. Just whatever you do, get the notes out ASAP. And understand that most people will just throw the picture away.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    AddieCake said:






     Don't any of you guys keep or display pictures of your families?

    I do keep pictures of my family and friends on display... but they're pictures I took or pictures of us together or, like, I'm at the event with them and had so much fun, but I'm not necessarily in the picture with them. I do not have pictures displayed of my family or friends on their vacations.

    I would think it was super weird if someone sent me a picture of themselves on their honeymoon to be displayed. If I wanted a picture of them I could display, I'd take one of them at their wedding I attended lol.




    This. Like I said, if I didn't even go on the vacation, I have no connection to it, so why would I want a picture of friends on a vacation that I was not part of? 

    I agree. The exception for me would be my parents. I do have a wedding photo of them and a great picture of them in Hawaii.



    For me the ppl in the picture are the important part, not where the picture was taken. So it doesn't matter if it is a picture from a vacation I wasn't present for. . .it's a picture of close family or friends. If it's a flattering and cool photo, I'd display it.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • send out thgank yous BEFORE honeymood. that is far too late.

    Use your honeymoon (and other pics) as your "christmas card" this year. That is what we did
  • Send out thank you notes ASAP.  Also, I personally strongly dislike and side-eye hard photo thank you (and holiday) cards.  I know they've become the norm, but in my opinion any card or note should focus primarily on the recipient and the sender's well-wishes and/or gratitude for them/their gift, and not be an opportunity for the sender to be an AW.
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