Wedding 911

Not meant to be...

Do you ever feel like planning your wedding just isn't meant to be?  We started to get all set on everything, we were having a backyard BOP wedding at my FIL's, and now that is all down the drain.  My FFIL is not doing so well medically and the decision was made that it will be just too much to do it at our FIL's.  I feel like we're running out of time and I have no idea what to do.  

Re: Not meant to be...

  • Why are you running out if time? Did you book things for a specific date?
  • Everything is just booking up fast for the date we chose. Now we basically have to start from scratch including venue. Kind of in a weird position too because we have people coming from MD, DE & PA. So location is kind of an issue.
  • We had to find a new venue about 6 months out. I was terrified, but it turned out to be the best possible thing to happen.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • You must be frustrated and understandably so. We found our venue 6 months out and it turned out to work just fine. If you have a certain date in mind and it's already booked, let the venue(s) you're interested in that day and to contact you if it becomes available. people change their date all the time especially if they are a year out until they want to get married.

    I hope it all works out and the place you end up choosing will be beautiful!
  • I'm just frustrated because we're paying for this on our own.  So I need to know budgeting information.  It's just turning into a nightmare.  Some places you can get your own caterer and bar staff, some you have to use their mandatory vendors and some you have to do in house.  All that stuff plays a major part on budgeting and can vary wildly.  I am just over this whole thing and ready to book a one way ticket to Cabo.
  • Do you have any country clubs around you? We got our venue, the whole country club, for $500. They have their own in house caterer and we were able to get kegs instead of paying per drink. You could also look at local parks that may have a small fee to rent out for the day. I found my venue through a wedding expo.
  • All of the country clubs around here are "exclusive" country clubs.  They want around $100 per person.  You have to use their catering and alcohol.   We looked at one park (online) but FI kind of got snippy about it and was saying that people wouldn't come dressed nicely.  Just was overall negative about it.  I've offered a few suggestions but it just doesn't seem like anything I suggest is right.  I don't know how to tailor the guest list without making people mad.  But at the same time, I rather have a select crowd that we can host properly instead of more people and not having it be correct.  I basically told FI today that I am literally out of options other than eloping or postponing the wedding or him getting on board to help with the "day he wants!"
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2014
    @onlyjamielynn,I think you need to say to fi, "we need to pick a place by X date that has XYZ (outside catering, under x budget, capacity for X etc). ". Have one weekend to look at all the places he picked out and one weekend to look at all the places you picked out. Then sit down just the two of you and discuss the options. If he wants a different place, he is welcome to do the research and figure out some options. He can't just veto all of your ideas without offering any of his own. 

    Have you already sent out your STDs? If so, you cannot change the guest list (STD=Invite). You are right, you should shorten the guest list and do it properly rather than more people and rudely. Other options are Saturday Brunch, Lunch or afternoon cake and punch reception. 
  • @LondonLisa I took a little break from this and then revisited it.  I found two options and offered different date choices.  The one place only books one year in advance and it is a first come first serve situation.  They are currently already booked to date for the 2015 season  .We did not do STD’s.  So I don’t have to worry about changing venue, guest list or date.  The place that I am talking about I offered to push it a couple of months back to October 2015.  Reason one being more time to save money.  Reason two, the venue is already booked now to date and we would have to book July or later.  I was thinking October would be cooler.  I presented that to FI and he was pretty upset about pushing the date back.  I said in reality it is only 4 months.  Not a huge deal.  So ultimately I told him, we have a free day tomorrow, we are going to look at these two venues.  I want an answer and it you don’t like the dates/venue/etc then you will have to start doing the research and planning on your own because I have done all that I can. 


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