Chit Chat

My flowers were all wrong

Hi Ladies!

Looking to get some advice. This may get long lol. 

When my flowers arrived at the ceremony site, I noticed A LOT was wrong about them. My wedding colors were eggplant and ivory. My dress was ivory and I wanted a very dark purple (eggplant like) bouquet. It was supposed to be tulips (I think they are called Queen of the Night or something), the darkest of the 'Moon Series' carnations that is almost like an eggplant, and the Halloween rose. When my bouquet arrived, the only thing that was correct were the roses. I told my florist that I wanted NO white in bouquet and no greenery sticking all through it. 

It came with white peonies, a light purple/pinky carnation, a bunch of other purple stuff I didn't order and lots of green crap in it!! My husband's bout was supposed to be the dark carnation but it was the light purple/pinky color, same with my Ring Bearer, and also the carnation petals that my flower girl threw. I also ordered carnations for the mothers/grandmothers corsages but it was something completely different (but very nice) that she sent.

 I called the shop hoping I had been given someone else's flowers but the florist wasn't there. I received an email from her that afternoon explaining that the tulips she ordered had mold on them so she ordered another bunch and they arrived Saturday morning (morning of the wedding) and they had mold on them as well. She said she had to make a 'personal' decision as to what she thought was best. My questions was why didn't she call me? If she'd called I would have said please no white, just use whatever purple you have. Her father is ill and I know she has been dealing with that, and I hope the best for him, but she also runs a business and needs to be accountable. 

Because the bouquet that was sent was not what I had been envisioning for over a year, my Maid of Honor and one of my Bridesmaid took apart my bouquet, took all of the white and green stuff out, and put all the purple from the throw-away bouquet into mine. It looked much better color-wise but not professionally done, obviously!  She refunded me $100. I paid about $500 for everything. Do you think I should just leave it at that? Should I be asking for more? My bouquet cost me $85, so she refunded me a bit more than that. My bridesmaids bouquets were correct (3 times $65). The fathers and groomsmen bouts were correct but I think they only cost me $3.50 each. I guess I would have to sit down and figure out the cost of everything that was incorrect.

My wedding was 2.5 weeks ago and this is still bugging me! Have I left it too long?
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Re: My flowers were all wrong

  • Flowers was one of the things I cared least about in planning our wedding, so I'm probably not the best one to give advice here. However, It seems reasonable to me that if the flowers you originally wanted were not of good quality that she would substitute. I get the frustration that it wasn't what you ordered, but it seemed like she really tried and was concered with giving you a quality product. I also worked with a florist who told me from the first appointment that flowers are unpredictable and that she would do the best she could and would make me a lovely bouquet but it may not be exactly what we discussed depending on the crop/season/etc., so I was prepared for that.

    Again, though, flowers were not my thing. Hell I got so wrapped up in the moment that when I lined up to go down the aisle, I forgot my bouquet in the bridal room. I did not care.

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  • edited July 2014
    Damn, I was trying to post a "Let It Go" GIF and it failed. :(
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  • Yes, it sounds like she did the best she could and compensated you for more than the cost of the bridal bouquet.  It's reasonable that she would have to substitute if the original flowers were moldy, and it sounds like she did the best she could.  Let it go.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I think she did what she could and you should let it go now.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Damn, I was trying to post a "Let It Go" GIF and it failed. :(
    Allow me to assist.

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  • AddieCake said:

    I think she did what she could and you should let it go now.

    And most florists have a clause for substitute flowers, so she is probably covered there.

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  • Nope never said I wanted moldy flowers. I told her specifically I didn't want white or greenery in my bouquet and she put white and greenery in my bouquet etc, not going to repeat myself. The first order of tulips came in moldy on Thursday and I would have appreciated a phone call because at that point I would have said use whatever dark purple you have but please no white. I guess I wasn't clear in that I wasn't asking if I should ask for further compensation for my bouquet. It was more than just my bouquet that was incorrect. Anyway, Thanks for the advice. I'll just let it go. I am lucky that is the only thing that went wrong that day.
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  • Jen1051 said:

    Nope never said I wanted moldy flowers. I told her specifically I didn't want white or greenery in my bouquet and she put white and greenery in my bouquet etc, not going to repeat myself. The first order of tulips came in moldy on Thursday and I would have appreciated a phone call because at that point I would have said use whatever dark purple you have but please no white. I guess I wasn't clear in that I wasn't asking if I should ask for further compensation for my bouquet. It was more than just my bouquet that was incorrect. Anyway, Thanks for the advice. I'll just let it go. I am lucky that is the only thing that went wrong that day.

    She still probably did the best she could - that dark purple isn't very common; maybe she used all the purple she had and needed filler. She's likely covered by her contract anyway, and I think she was more than fair in refunding the $100.

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  • Jen1051 said:
    Nope never said I wanted moldy flowers. I told her specifically I didn't want white or greenery in my bouquet and she put white and greenery in my bouquet etc, not going to repeat myself. The first order of tulips came in moldy on Thursday and I would have appreciated a phone call because at that point I would have said use whatever dark purple you have but please no white. I guess I wasn't clear in that I wasn't asking if I should ask for further compensation for my bouquet. It was more than just my bouquet that was incorrect. Anyway, Thanks for the advice. I'll just let it go. I am lucky that is the only thing that went wrong that day.

    SIB:

    Okay, sassafras. I won't repeat myself either. What does your contract day and what do you really expect her to do? Refund your whole order. That is unreasonable. 
  • Jen1051 said:
    Nope never said I wanted moldy flowers. I told her specifically I didn't want white or greenery in my bouquet and she put white and greenery in my bouquet etc, not going to repeat myself. The first order of tulips came in moldy on Thursday and I would have appreciated a phone call because at that point I would have said use whatever dark purple you have but please no white. I guess I wasn't clear in that I wasn't asking if I should ask for further compensation for my bouquet. It was more than just my bouquet that was incorrect. Anyway, Thanks for the advice. I'll just let it go. I am lucky that is the only thing that went wrong that day.

    Okay, I am willing to amend my first post slightly. I do understand your frustration if you specifically said no white. In this situation I, like you, would want a call on Thursday as well just to check in and let me know what options I had. To your credit, it sounds like you were willing to be a bit more flexible than your first post might have suggested. However, pp is right in that there may not have been purple flowers on hand on the day.

    However this isn't still isn't a huge deal. She probably thought the second batch of flowers wouldn't be moldly and so thought it wouldn't be an issue. And she did try to make it good with the refund.

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  • Wow, Sassafras? I said I wasn't going to repeat myself because I didn't think those reading would want to read something that I already wrote. I wasn't trying to be a smart ass by saying that. My original post wasn't asking if I should get a full refund. It may not have been clear but I was asking if anyone thought I should ask for further compensation because it was more than just my bouquet that was wrong. Everyone agrees that I should let it go and I was courteous and said thank you that's what I'll do.... So I'm not sure why you then call me a 'sassafras'.
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  • @SapphireCounselor no I wasn't as clear in my first post. I think that's what frustrated me the most, is that when she tried fixing the problem, she did exactly what I said I didn't want. On Thursday I would have said to her ok no problem on the tulips, use whatever purple you have, whether it's dark or not but no white. Thanks for your response!
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  • Can I ask why you didn't want white? I mean you can prefer anything you want, but if the flowers were really the only thing you have to complain about, be happy!  I understand you didn't want white, and she added white, but most brides have all white bouquets, and things were different than what you asked, because of the mold.

    Like other pp, I didn't care that much about the flowers. And 2 months before my wedding, my original florist had some business issues, and had to close. So I almost didn't have flowers at all.
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  • theexactleetheexactlee member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    Jen1051 I'm really sorry this happened to you. I recognize that you also just wanted to vent to other brides that might be able to commiserate. Unfortunately flowers are one of the main things that turn up wrong the day of the wedding. 

    I remember my girlfriend Andrea's wedding. It was a Disney wedding held in the Wedding Pavilion, one of those 85k weddings. She was an obsessive bride. Everything had to be PERFECT. Her flowers arrived in a completely different color purple than she had ordered. Oh dear lord she melted. We scrambled to get in touch with the florist and she was out of touch for the day. Andrea swore she wouldn't walk down the aisle with that color bouquet. It meant that much to her. These things absolutely can ruin your entire mood on your special day. Luckily we were able to talk her off the ledge and her special day went off (not without more hitches) but as wonderful as we could make happen.

    The florist most likely offered up what is was willing to offer up. Yes, it sucks that she used exactly what you asked her not to use. I mean HELLO, could you have been more clear! The only thing you can do from this point on is express your upset, thank her for the discount and not recommend her to future brides. I'm sure you still looked gorgeous and no one besides you knew the bouquet and bout were out of whack. 
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  • @huskypuppy14 i didn't want any white because I wanted an all dark purple bouquet. It's the vision I've had in my head for about 16 months before the wedding.
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  • Jen1051 I'm really sorry this happened to you. I recognize that you also just wanted to vent to other brides that might be able to commiserate. Unfortunately flowers are one of the main things that turn up wrong the day of the wedding. 

    I remember my girlfriend Andrea's wedding. It was a Disney wedding held in the Wedding Pavilion, one of those 85k weddings. She was an obsessive bride. Everything had to be PERFECT. Her flowers arrived in a completely different color purple than she had ordered. Oh dear lord she melted. We scrambled to get in touch with the florist and she was out of touch for the day. Andrea swore she wouldn't walk down the aisle with that color bouquet. It meant that much to her. These things absolutely can ruin your entire mood on your special day. Luckily we were able to talk her off the ledge and her special day went off (not without more hitches) but as wonderful as we could make happen.

    The florist most likely offered up what is was willing to offer up. Yes, it sucks that she used exactly what you asked her not to use. I mean HELLO, could you have been more clear! The only thing you can do from this point on is express your upset, thank her for the discount and not recommend her to future brides. I'm sure you still looked gorgeous and no one besides you knew the bouquet and bout were out of whack. 
    So she cared more about her flowers than her spouse... nice.
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  • @theexactlee I know how your friend felt! I was very upset and to some brides (like many who have commented here) it wouldn't be a big deal and I completely respect their opinions, but it was a big deal to me. We had no shows, someone showed up with an uninvited guest, my stepdaughter's maternal grandparents came to pick her up and decided to sit down for over an hour and help themselves to food and drink (they weren't invited to the wedding)..... But it was the damn flowers that upset me that day, nothing else! Lol.
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  • Well she was kinda lost in the moment. She was definitely not by any means a relaxed type. Picture the bride who had been planning their wedding since they were 7 years old and then they were living the moment. There were moments when I think she forgot what she was really there for. That is one of the reasons she had us there. To calm her down and remind her what it was really about. 

    People have different personalities and wedding planning and wedding days bring out those personalities. I love my friend but it was a spectacle. 

    That was just a very exaggerated story to share with Jen (the story wasn't exaggerated but to compare to what happened to Jen).
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  • Jen1051 said:
    @theexactlee I know how your friend felt! I was very upset and to some brides (like many who have commented here) it wouldn't be a big deal and I completely respect their opinions, but it was a big deal to me. We had no shows, someone showed up with an uninvited guest, my stepdaughter's maternal grandparents came to pick her up and decided to sit down for over an hour and help themselves to food and drink (they weren't invited to the wedding)..... But it was the damn flowers that upset me that day, nothing else! Lol.

    Yep, weddings are stressful. Some people will say they were super relaxed and nothing bothered them. I had another girlfriend who seriously was so relaxed on her wedding day that it felt eerie. Her mom stressed over everything so maybe she just knew she wouldn't have to. I seriously think the church could have burned down around her and she would have smiled through it. Don't apologize for being upset by something that happened. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty that you were upset. It was your big day. Your feelings were valid. Hugs coming your way.
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  • lyndausvi said:
    Jen1051 I'm really sorry this happened to you. I recognize that you also just wanted to vent to other brides that might be able to commiserate. Unfortunately flowers are one of the main things that turn up wrong the day of the wedding. 

    I remember my girlfriend Andrea's wedding. It was a Disney wedding held in the Wedding Pavilion, one of those 85k weddings. She was an obsessive bride. Everything had to be PERFECT. Her flowers arrived in a completely different color purple than she had ordered. Oh dear lord she melted. We scrambled to get in touch with the florist and she was out of touch for the day. Andrea swore she wouldn't walk down the aisle with that color bouquet. It meant that much to her. These things absolutely can ruin your entire mood on your special day. Luckily we were able to talk her off the ledge and her special day went off (not without more hitches) but as wonderful as we could make happen.

    The florist most likely offered up what is was willing to offer up. Yes, it sucks that she used exactly what you asked her not to use. I mean HELLO, could you have been more clear! The only thing you can do from this point on is express your upset, thank her for the discount and not recommend her to future brides. I'm sure you still looked gorgeous and no one besides you knew the bouquet and bout were out of whack. 
    So she cared more about her flowers than her spouse... nice.

    **** SITB  ***

    Can't imagine how Andrea would have reacted had her beach wedding was cancelled because of the hurricane and it had to be performed under a hot tent? Oh that her cake melted a little.  And she spent $4600 for the perfect photographer to take pictures of her and her new husband on the beach only to have most of the shots taken under a tent.   The few shots taken outside were in the eye of the storm.  The wind was blowing so hard it hurt your eyes.  

    Yeah, that was my wedding and no one had to talk me off of the ledge. 

    People really need to gain a little perspective here.   Disappointed, of course.  To dwell and need to be talk of a ledge, please.  I hate to see them handle a real issue.

    First, @lyndausvi you are a champ! I am so sorry that you dealt with that.

    In general, brides "having to be talked off the ledge" are just ridiculous. Does stuff go wrong? Of Course! Is it irritating and frustrating? Of Course. But to let it ruin your entire day and take the focus off the fact that you are getting married is just immature.

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  • @lyndausvi sorry to hear that a hurricane decided to show up on your wedding day but it sounds like you just let it roll off your shoulders as best you could.
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  • @lyndausvi that is awful! I can't believe you handled that so well. I'm in between relaxed and high strung but that, well I think I would have gone a little whack in that situation. 
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  • Jen1051 said:
    @lyndausvi sorry to hear that a hurricane decided to show up on your wedding day but it sounds like you just let it roll off your shoulders as best you could.
    No need to be sorry.   Shit happens.   At the end of the day the goal was accomplished.  I married my husband.

    The reception was AMAZING.   Everyone had a great time. The food was great and plentiful.  The bar was flowing.  Heck they ran out of Jack Daniels and had to run to the liquor store for more.  The dance floor was packed all night with guests aged 6 to 92.  People still talk about the candy bar.

    When I look back I do not dwell that I didn't get my beach wedding dream.  I look at how much fun everyone including us had.   Plus it's a good story. One that is talked about all the time among our guests.   Most people have a normal wedding, our guests tell their friends about the awesome wedding they attend during a hurricane.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'm not dwelling, it's just something I've been thinking about for the last couple days. It didn't ruin my day by any means but I was pretty upset that morning because the bouquet didn't even remotely look like what I'd ordered - I thought I had someone else's flowers, it was that different.
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  • Yeah, I agree with PPs. Get past it. Worse things can happen.
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  • I'm sure in every wedding there is something that doesn't go "perfect" and is upsetting. It's how we react that shows our character.  Not getting the "right" shade of purple and throwing a Disney size hissy fit and having to be talked down off a ledge, not cool. Having to work through a hurricane on the day of your beach wedding and still being okay, way cool. (Saw your pics, I will say...AWESOME ATTITUDE).

    I have an issue with being on time. The person I paid to do my make up moved like syrup in winter time.  She made me late to getting dressed, which made me late for my pictures. I got so upset. That and a terrible makeup job made me one not nice person. BUT the moment I stepped out of the car and say my FI, my anger went away. The meaning of the day poured into me. I was going to marry HIM! From that moment on, nothing could upset me. 

     $100 off a $500 bill is 20%, that's a pretty nice adjustment on her part. I would let the rest go. The flowers were a big deal for you, and she gave you a big discount. So what if there was white or green? So what if it wasn't your vision? You still got to marry your H, that is what was truly, truly, important about that day. Not the color of your bouquet. 


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