Registry and Gift Forum

Hardly Any Gifts?!

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Re: Hardly Any Gifts?!

  • lyndausvi said:


    Viczaesar said:


    banana468 said:

    I think we forget that guest etiquette DOES call for sending a gift that is a reflection of your love for the couple. There isn't a dollar value that it needs to meet but it IS improper etiquette to give nothing at all.

    However, a guest has time to send a gift and it doesn't necessarily need to be right at the wedding. Since it's rude to bring gifts to the wedding, a guest may decide to give a gift before the wedding or after the wedding when the couple has returned from their honeymoon.

    Etiquette says that you ought to if you can, because if you're close enough to be invited to the wedding then you should be close enough to want to give them a present as a token of congratulations.  But they're still not required.

    I've gotten invitations to cousin's kids I would not recognize if  they were standing in front of me before.    So I do not jump on the if you get an invite you should send a gift train.  Some invites are truly to get gifts and I'm not rewarding them for that.

    But yes, in generally I send a gift.


    Yeah. If the wedding invitation is from people you don't know then I understand it's just gift fishing and rude. I'm really referring to those weddings that one actually attends or wants to attend.

  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    lyndausvi said:
    Viczaesar said:
    banana468 said:
    I think we forget that guest etiquette DOES call for sending a gift that is a reflection of your love for the couple. There isn't a dollar value that it needs to meet but it IS improper etiquette to give nothing at all. However, a guest has time to send a gift and it doesn't necessarily need to be right at the wedding. Since it's rude to bring gifts to the wedding, a guest may decide to give a gift before the wedding or after the wedding when the couple has returned from their honeymoon.
    Etiquette says that you ought to if you can, because if you're close enough to be invited to the wedding then you should be close enough to want to give them a present as a token of congratulations.  But they're still not required.
    I've gotten invitations to cousin's kids I would not recognize if  they were standing in front of me before.    So I do not jump on the if you get an invite you should send a gift train.  Some invites are truly to get gifts and I'm not rewarding them for that.

    But yes, in generally I send a gift.
    I agree, but that is not what Miss Manners says.  You ought to give a gift because you ought to be close enough to the bride and groom to want to give a gift (with the idea being that otherwise you would decline the invitation), but not because you are obligated to give a gift. 



  • We received cash from a cousin who isn't able to attend. It was a total surprise because I don't think I've even met this person. She lives about 4 states over. 

    We also got a gift or two from people who weren't even invited! I felt touched and special, but I also felt sorry that I hadn't invited them to the wedding. I sent a thank you note right away. 

    I admit, I've been peeking at my registry too. We have 6 days until the wedding and I've just been curios. We registered for about 110 items, and about 20 have been purchased at this time.

    The gifts from guests are a bonus, I'm just really looking forward to getting married!!!! EEEEE!!!!  6 Days! 
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