September 2014 Weddings

Can we discuss people not RSVPing?

*insert sarcasm here* Look—I get it. It’s not easy to go to WeddingWire.com and simply click on your name saying you will be there, or, to send me a text saying you will/won’t be there. It’s a LOT of effort. *end/sarcasm* But you know…it’s about respect! The food/alcohol needs to be paid for in full by the last week of July, and without everyone telling me either way, it is going to drive me batty. I won’t be able to get an accurate head count, so I might be shelling more out than I need and have an overwhelming amount of wasted food/drinks. UGH. Anyone else dealing with this??
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Re: Can we discuss people not RSVPing?

  • Well, for one you have to consider who are the people you're asking to RSVP.  My Grandma wouldn't know how to go on to WW and RSVP by clicking her name even if it is simple to people like us. Or know how to send a text. I haven't sent out my invites yet, I plan to this week, but I don't need a final count until around 2 weeks before the wedding. I find it kind of odd you need a head count so early.

    I think you're stressing yourself out too early...it's only July 7th. Give yourself another week or so and then start calling people. Say, "Hey there! I was just wondering if you received our invitiation and if you were planning on making it. We need a final count by X date so I'm just calling to check in."
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Hate to tell you this but you brought this on yourself. That is way too early to expect everyone to RSVP, especially electronically if you have older/less web-savvy guests. You should have either negotiated with your venue to have payments due later, or budgeted to account for everyone showing up and eating whatever excess payment you made. Not everyone can make plans that far in advance and for a September wedding, your deadline should be sometime in August.

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  • There won't be any older guests, or anyone that doesn't know how to text or how to go to a website. So-- that's not the issue. 
    It's a wedding out of town where people have to get hotel rooms. The hotel rooms needed to be booked by July 10th, and the final head count for food/drinks is July 31st. I am unsure why they are asking me to get a total head count by then, but that's the rules with this venue.

    I already have the money set to the side if everyone shows up, but if I pay for 60 people, and only 30 arrive, I will be a bit upset that I overspent. That's the point I am making. I did consider contacting everyone the last week of July asking if they were going, but I didn't know if that was proper ettiquette or not. I didn't want to seem rude or pushy.
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  • KaurisKauris member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    There won't be any older guests, or anyone that doesn't know how to text or how to go to a website. So-- that's not the issue. 
    It's a wedding out of town where people have to get hotel rooms. The hotel rooms needed to be booked by July 10th, and the final head count for food/drinks is July 31st. I am unsure why they are asking me to get a total head count by then, but that's the rules with this venue.

    I already have the money set to the side if everyone shows up, but if I pay for 60 people, and only 30 arrive, I will be a bit upset that I overspent. That's the point I am making. I did consider contacting everyone the last week of July asking if they were going, but I didn't know if that was proper ettiquette or not. I didn't want to seem rude or pushy.
    That depends entirely upon if you gave your guests a deadline to RSVP by. Did you specifically say, "RSVP by July 28th" or something along those lines? Because if you did not, you need to give your guests a little more time.

  • Once the RSVP date is upon you, you can absolutely call people and ask for their RSVP. You still have a few weeks so hopefully you'll get more in that amount of time. But it's been my experience that when you ask for RSVPs in a more casual manner, people treat them more casually. So you may have a few calls to make!
  • lgsdesignerlgsdesigner member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    @kasmith1 - Yes. I told them by July 20th. I guess I will wait a little longer. The invites went out the last week of May (so people could book their hotel room in time), so my inpatient little butt needs to at least wait until the 20th, I guess. ;)

    @Simky906 - Okay, good. I didn't want to be rude. Thank you!
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  • KaurisKauris member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Eh, you're excited. It's understandable. But yes, give them until the date and then start contacting people.

    lgsdesigner
  • I can certainly understand your frustration. I provided a pre-addressed and stamped envelope in all of my invites. So all people have to do is write their name, lick it, and stick it in the mailbox. Easy peasy, right?

    I mailed them at the end of June and I figured I'd get a FLOOD of them back right away but I am surprised to find that isn't the case. I think we've only gotten a handful back. We requested responses no later than 8/15 though so I have while before I can start harassing people! lol

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    lgsdesigner
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    From what I can tell, it's normal to get the initial flow of responses from people who are habitually prompt, and then a final flow of people who habitually leave things to deadlines. 

    Don't worry- just make some phone calls 2 or 3 days after the deadline passed.  

    (We sent invites to our parents too and both sets replied, "Oh, thanks for inviting us. We'll be there."  LOL)  
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    lgsdesigner
  • I can relate with some impatience and a venue that is a little too savy with final numbers.

    My final detail meeting is August 2 (wedding is September 5) and I had to get finals in before then so I set my rsvp date for yesterday.

    For those who were not as savvy- we provided a formal rsvp. We will are waiting for 5 people.

    lgsdesigner
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