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What the what?!

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Re: What the what?!

  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
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    Gross. Not cute. Go home. Ew.
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
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    MagicInk said:
    As someone who works in higher education this makes me sick. This is 2014. Life is way more than getting married, especially as a teen/young 20-something. I had no interest in marriage when I graduated from undergrad. Zero. I was more concerned about building a life for myself at that point.

    I did get married two months after I graduated with my master's degree. I was 27 and was with a man who fully supported everything I was doing related to school. It was tough. We were long distance for years because of my degree but neither of us felt like it was a comprise. It was an absolute priority for me, and he fully supported it. More than fully supported it. There were times when I thought the stress wasn't worth it and he emphasized how important it was and centered me again.

    But it was amazing how, when I had both my graduation and wedding within two months of each other, the milestone of graduation became an after thought to many people in my life. It pissed me off for exactly the reason that this picture hints at. I'm not even talking about attending the graduation ceremony. But while virtually everyone was going crazy congratulating me on the wedding, very few people mentioned the degree. I was very vocal about grad school and graduation. Anyone who knew me knew how important that was to me.

    Why can I love this only once?

    My mom got a comment the other day that set her off in regards to me getting married. It was something along the line of, aren't you proud Fiona is getting married? To which my mother responded "Proud? No, not really proud. Happy, very happy she and Sophie love each other and I'm so happy they're getting married. I'm proud they can get married, but that's more of an overall human rights issue then specific to Fiona, but I am happy for her", to which the other person said "Well I was proud when my daughters got married! Such an achievement for them", apparently this person does not know my mother well because my mom went off (polietly) and said "Oh really? Marriage is the only thing your daughters have achieved that has made you proud", "Well it's the most important thing they've done!", at which point my mom was off and running "Wow, well my daughter has done many very important things. I'm proud of her for graduating high school, for coming out, for fighting for what she believes in, for being strong, for getting her masters and later her PhD, for working her ass off in a male dominated field, for following her passions and dreams, for being able to give and receive love, for being smart, for being creative and for above all being herself. I'm happy for her wedding, but I'm already proud of all of her actual accomplishments in life". Step-mom regaled me with the story as she was there at the time. 

    Yeah, my mom, she's kind of awesome.

    STUCK in BOX

    Your mom IS awesome!  It makes me ill when people consider marriage an achievement.  My best friend's mother has friends like this who wonder, golly gee, why Friend is over 30 and unmarried. "When is she going to leave the city and settle down already?" To say nothing of her job, her promotions, her masters degree, her success in marathons and triathlons, and hell, her financial security.  Nope, she lives in the city and just parties it up and has no real responsibility.  For shame. 
    ________________________________


    wandajune6RebeccaB88
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    monkeysip said:
    The thing is, if you don't want to go to college, that's fine.  Not everyone needs to go to college.  

    And if you want to get married at 18, 19, 20... that's fine too.  I know plenty of people who married that young and have long happy marriages.

    But it shouldn't be because you think education is stupid, or marrying rich is the solution to your problems, or getting married is somehow just something women *should* do, etc.  

    Everyone makes different choices, but I hate it when girls feel like they have to make certain choices because they're a *girl* or they just don't want to accomplish anything in life.
    Exactly.

    My father wanted me and my brothers to at the bare minimum attend community college. He works for the community college so we can go for free as his off-spring. Me and my youngest brother both did dual enrollment during high school, then went to 4 year universities. My other brother waited until after high school and then went. He did well (he's very bright) but after he got his associates he was done. He has never wanted to go on to anything higher and he does very well for himself. And this is perfectly fine with everyone in our family. He's doing what he wants because he wants too.

    Do whats right for you, but you as an individual. Regardless of gender. I will say, I think for women in the job market, it is more important to be educated then for men. I think it is still a boy's club and an education gives a woman an advantage out there. But if it's not for you, it's not for you.
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    chibiyui said:
    MagicInk said:
    lyndausvi said:
    This is something I would expect to see at one of the schools the Duggar-like girls would attend.  
    Do they even attend college? I know their home schooled, but I never heard any of the girls talk about attending college. 
    As far as I know, none of the Duggar girls have attended any higher education. I don't think they are forbidden from it, but it sure as hell isn't encouraged. 

    Secondly, as @Cookie Pusher mentioned, the diploma holder thingie says Wheaton College. Wheaton College as in the one that believes signing a religious non-profit opt out to push the cost on contraceptive coverage for their employees onto the insurance company/government is a heavy moral burden. And sinful. 

    Honestly, those bitches in the picture should be pregnant. 
    Well it does look like engagement rings, not wedding rings. Not allowed to have the sex to make the baby...yet. Give them a year or so.
    slothiegalSapphireCounselorRebeccaB88
  • edited July 2014
    MagicInk said:
    As someone who works in higher education this makes me sick. This is 2014. Life is way more than getting married, especially as a teen/young 20-something. I had no interest in marriage when I graduated from undergrad. Zero. I was more concerned about building a life for myself at that point.

    I did get married two months after I graduated with my master's degree. I was 27 and was with a man who fully supported everything I was doing related to school. It was tough. We were long distance for years because of my degree but neither of us felt like it was a comprise. It was an absolute priority for me, and he fully supported it. More than fully supported it. There were times when I thought the stress wasn't worth it and he emphasized how important it was and centered me again.

    But it was amazing how, when I had both my graduation and wedding within two months of each other, the milestone of graduation became an after thought to many people in my life. It pissed me off for exactly the reason that this picture hints at. I'm not even talking about attending the graduation ceremony. But while virtually everyone was going crazy congratulating me on the wedding, very few people mentioned the degree. I was very vocal about grad school and graduation. Anyone who knew me knew how important that was to me.

    Why can I love this only once?

    My mom got a comment the other day that set her off in regards to me getting married. It was something along the line of, aren't you proud Fiona is getting married? To which my mother responded "Proud? No, not really proud. Happy, very happy she and Sophie love each other and I'm so happy they're getting married. I'm proud they can get married, but that's more of an overall human rights issue then specific to Fiona, but I am happy for her", to which the other person said "Well I was proud when my daughters got married! Such an achievement for them", apparently this person does not know my mother well because my mom went off (polietly) and said "Oh really? Marriage is the only thing your daughters have achieved that has made you proud", "Well it's the most important thing they've done!", at which point my mom was off and running "Wow, well my daughter has done many very important things. I'm proud of her for graduating high school, for coming out, for fighting for what she believes in, for being strong, for getting her masters and later her PhD, for working her ass off in a male dominated field, for following her passions and dreams, for being able to give and receive love, for being smart, for being creative and for above all being herself. I'm happy for her wedding, but I'm already proud of all of her actual accomplishments in life". Step-mom regaled me with the story as she was there at the time. 

    Yeah, my mom, she's kind of awesome.

    ____________________________________

    Gah! Why can I only love THIS once!? I love your Mom from this post. She sounds amazing.

    I had several key family members, on the other hand, decide that attending my graduation from grad school was "too much of a hassle" because the wedding was only a month and a half away and they would be traveling then too so why make this trip? Evidently earning my Master's degree wasn't an important enough reason.

    ETA: Typos
    image
  • MagicInk said:
    monkeysip said:
    The thing is, if you don't want to go to college, that's fine.  Not everyone needs to go to college.  

    And if you want to get married at 18, 19, 20... that's fine too.  I know plenty of people who married that young and have long happy marriages.

    But it shouldn't be because you think education is stupid, or marrying rich is the solution to your problems, or getting married is somehow just something women *should* do, etc.  

    Everyone makes different choices, but I hate it when girls feel like they have to make certain choices because they're a *girl* or they just don't want to accomplish anything in life.
    Exactly.

    My father wanted me and my brothers to at the bare minimum attend community college. He works for the community college so we can go for free as his off-spring. Me and my youngest brother both did dual enrollment during high school, then went to 4 year universities. My other brother waited until after high school and then went. He did well (he's very bright) but after he got his associates he was done. He has never wanted to go on to anything higher and he does very well for himself. And this is perfectly fine with everyone in our family. He's doing what he wants because he wants too.

    Do whats right for you, but you as an individual. Regardless of gender. I will say, I think for women in the job market, it is more important to be educated then for men. I think it is still a boy's club and an education gives a woman an advantage out there. But if it's not for you, it's not for you.
    So much this!
    image
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
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    MagicInk said:
    My mom got a comment the other day that set her off in regards to me getting married. It was something along the line of, aren't you proud Fiona is getting married? To which my mother responded "Proud? No, not really proud. Happy, very happy she and Sophie love each other and I'm so happy they're getting married. I'm proud they can get married, but that's more of an overall human rights issue then specific to Fiona, but I am happy for her", to which the other person said "Well I was proud when my daughters got married! Such an achievement for them", apparently this person does not know my mother well because my mom went off (polietly) and said "Oh really? Marriage is the only thing your daughters have achieved that has made you proud", "Well it's the most important thing they've done!", at which point my mom was off and running "Wow, well my daughter has done many very important things. I'm proud of her for graduating high school, for coming out, for fighting for what she believes in, for being strong, for getting her masters and later her PhD, for working her ass off in a male dominated field, for following her passions and dreams, for being able to give and receive love, for being smart, for being creative and for above all being herself. I'm happy for her wedding, but I'm already proud of all of her actual accomplishments in life". Step-mom regaled me with the story as she was there at the time. 

    Yeah, my mom, she's kind of awesome.
    Your mom =

    image


    Seriously, she's a BAMF.
    Anniversary

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    VulgarGirlrajahmdchibiyui
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    MagicInk said:
    My mom got a comment the other day that set her off in regards to me getting married. It was something along the line of, aren't you proud Fiona is getting married? To which my mother responded "Proud? No, not really proud. Happy, very happy she and Sophie love each other and I'm so happy they're getting married. I'm proud they can get married, but that's more of an overall human rights issue then specific to Fiona, but I am happy for her", to which the other person said "Well I was proud when my daughters got married! Such an achievement for them", apparently this person does not know my mother well because my mom went off (polietly) and said "Oh really? Marriage is the only thing your daughters have achieved that has made you proud", "Well it's the most important thing they've done!", at which point my mom was off and running "Wow, well my daughter has done many very important things. I'm proud of her for graduating high school, for coming out, for fighting for what she believes in, for being strong, for getting her masters and later her PhD, for working her ass off in a male dominated field, for following her passions and dreams, for being able to give and receive love, for being smart, for being creative and for above all being herself. I'm happy for her wedding, but I'm already proud of all of her actual accomplishments in life". Step-mom regaled me with the story as she was there at the time. 

    Yeah, my mom, she's kind of awesome.
    Your mom =

    image


    Seriously, she's a BAMF.
    She really is. Usually she cusses more, I was surprised there was a lack of cussing.
    themuffinman16
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
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    MagicInk said:

    Why can I love this only once?

    My mom got a comment the other day that set her off in regards to me getting married. It was something along the line of, aren't you proud Fiona is getting married? To which my mother responded "Proud? No, not really proud. Happy, very happy she and Sophie love each other and I'm so happy they're getting married. I'm proud they can get married, but that's more of an overall human rights issue then specific to Fiona, but I am happy for her", to which the other person said "Well I was proud when my daughters got married! Such an achievement for them", apparently this person does not know my mother well because my mom went off (polietly) and said "Oh really? Marriage is the only thing your daughters have achieved that has made you proud", "Well it's the most important thing they've done!", at which point my mom was off and running "Wow, well my daughter has done many very important things. I'm proud of her for graduating high school, for coming out, for fighting for what she believes in, for being strong, for getting her masters and later her PhD, for working her ass off in a male dominated field, for following her passions and dreams, for being able to give and receive love, for being smart, for being creative and for above all being herself. I'm happy for her wedding, but I'm already proud of all of her actual accomplishments in life". Step-mom regaled me with the story as she was there at the time. 

    Yeah, my mom, she's kind of awesome.
    I could see my mom saying she's proud of me getting married. I mean, the woman skipped my college graduation, but marriage must be really important to her, having done it three times now. ;-)



    DISCLAIMER - that snark is directed at my mother and my mother alone, not any ol' person who happened to have been married thrice or more.

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    VulgarGirl
  • I was oh so young and dumb. I got married in April, graduated high school in May. Yes you read that correctly. ExH joined the Navy and left for boot camp, I missed him sooooooo much (read all the teenage drama you want into that, then add some). I knew we were soul mates and had to be with him, he felt the same way. So we, actually me, planned a quickie wedding in the 2 weeks he had between boot camp and his A school. 

    I went from an A/B student, college bound to 18 and married. Biggest mistake of my life. The only positive to come out of it was my 3 kids. 

    Marriage is not an accomplishment. It's awesome when you are married to the right person though. 
    ashley8918CMGragainthemuffinman16
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    MagicInk said:

    Why can I love this only once?

    My mom got a comment the other day that set her off in regards to me getting married. It was something along the line of, aren't you proud Fiona is getting married? To which my mother responded "Proud? No, not really proud. Happy, very happy she and Sophie love each other and I'm so happy they're getting married. I'm proud they can get married, but that's more of an overall human rights issue then specific to Fiona, but I am happy for her", to which the other person said "Well I was proud when my daughters got married! Such an achievement for them", apparently this person does not know my mother well because my mom went off (polietly) and said "Oh really? Marriage is the only thing your daughters have achieved that has made you proud", "Well it's the most important thing they've done!", at which point my mom was off and running "Wow, well my daughter has done many very important things. I'm proud of her for graduating high school, for coming out, for fighting for what she believes in, for being strong, for getting her masters and later her PhD, for working her ass off in a male dominated field, for following her passions and dreams, for being able to give and receive love, for being smart, for being creative and for above all being herself. I'm happy for her wedding, but I'm already proud of all of her actual accomplishments in life". Step-mom regaled me with the story as she was there at the time. 

    Yeah, my mom, she's kind of awesome.
    I could see my mom saying she's proud of me getting married. I mean, the woman skipped my college graduation, but marriage must be really important to her, having done it three times now. ;-)



    DISCLAIMER - that snark is directed at my mother and my mother alone, not any ol' person who happened to have been married thrice or more.
    My mom's only done it twice and really...I think she would've been fine never getting married again. Her wife just really wanted to get married and they could get the benifits so sure why not go for it.

    My grandma has never been married though and at my parents' wedding said to my grandmother (dad's mom) "I don't see what the big deal is, babies get born if mom and daddy are married or not. Trust me, both mine came out", she loves my dad, just never got why they bothered to get married. She doesn't get why I'm getting married either, she doesn't see the point to the big "hu-bub" according to her if you want to be together just be together, no need to make a thing out of it and involve the government and God (her words). She also didn't totally get why my mom and I both perused higher education since we could totally get good enough jobs without it. But she did show up at every graduation I had.
  • MagicInk said:
    lyndausvi said:
    This is something I would expect to see at one of the schools the Duggar-like girls would attend.  
    Do they even attend college? I know their home schooled, but I never heard any of the girls talk about attending college. 
    I don't think Duggar girls go to college. Their ambitions seem to be to following Mom's example, and have an endless of multitude of little Duggarettes piling out of their vaginas like clowns from a clown car. Sad and terrible.
    wandajune6rajahmd
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
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    beethery said:
    image

    I can't remember if this turned out to be a hoax or not, but it still cracks my shit up.
    Now this one I like cause it's like "These damn bitches keep talking about their fucking rings and what their fucking colors are and I just wanna get wasted". 
    themuffinman16
  • monkeysip said:
    Yeah, just getting married isn't really an achievement.  Being a good wife/husband, keeping a marriage healthy and strong for a long time, supporting your spouse through terrible times, etc.... now THOSE are great achievements.  I worry too many people are focused on just the "getting married" part that they forget the whole building a solid relationship and foundation for marriage part…
    It's like you're in my brain. Getting engaged all you did was say yes and put on a piece of jewelry.  Getting married again all you "accomplished" was participating in some type of ceremony and maybe throwing a party.  Staying married to the same person for 50+ years, that's an accomplishment.  
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    smichek
  • I did a 4 year Bachelor's in the top program in Canada for my field, then went on to do my Master's and am now working on my PhD. All at top universities, all with scholarships, awards and publications. My greatest accomplishment was finding a boy that would date me. *rolls eyes so hard* Having a lasting, happy marriage is an accomplishment, getting a sparkly ring not so much. Article relevant to this discussion http://www.huffingtonpost.com/valerie-alexander/lets-ban-weddings-and-baby-showers_b_4428778.html

    Anniversary
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
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    I did a 4 year Bachelor's in the top program in Canada for my field, then went on to do my Master's and am now working on my PhD. All at top universities, all with scholarships, awards and publications. My greatest accomplishment was finding a boy that would date me. *rolls eyes so hard* Having a lasting, happy marriage is an accomplishment, getting a sparkly ring not so much. Article relevant to this discussion http://www.huffingtonpost.com/valerie-alexander/lets-ban-weddings-and-baby-showers_b_4428778.html
    I always thought the author of that article sounds really bitter. Just because getting married isn't an accomplishment doesn't mean that it isn't a huge life event worth celebrating with your friends and family. She makes some good points but I think the article is pretty skewed. 


  • I did a 4 year Bachelor's in the top program in Canada for my field, then went on to do my Master's and am now working on my PhD. All at top universities, all with scholarships, awards and publications. My greatest accomplishment was finding a boy that would date me. *rolls eyes so hard* Having a lasting, happy marriage is an accomplishment, getting a sparkly ring not so much. Article relevant to this discussion http://www.huffingtonpost.com/valerie-alexander/lets-ban-weddings-and-baby-showers_b_4428778.html
    I always thought the author of that article sounds really bitter. Just because getting married isn't an accomplishment doesn't mean that it isn't a huge life event worth celebrating with your friends and family. She makes some good points but I think the article is pretty skewed. 
    Ya, I was re-reading it and I agree that her tone is off, but I think she makes a lot of good points. 

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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
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    The OP picture pisses me the fuck off. Like, I'm sitting here angry. Ugh. The girl with the degree - I want to smack her upside the head. Get that frown off your face!

  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
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    edited July 2014
    Just to add a little tidbit...

    As I mentioned earlier, I teach at an all girls high school.  Well, it's a Catholic school, and for senior year the girls take a class on vocations.  So they were studying the vocation of marriage and all that the sacrament of marriage means (which I think is great), BUT the teacher decided it was a good idea to get the girls into it by having them plan their future wedding.

    At first it was just about planning the sacrament, like what scripture readings/hymns they would have in the nuptial mass.  Ok, that's not so bad.  But then he expanded it to have them pick their bridal party, their wedding dress, their venue, ETC.  

    *GAG*  

    It was all the girls could talk about forever.  It was so annoying... and just reinforced their obsession with the glamour of getting married, instead of the serious commitment of marriage itself.

    And since I'm the economics teacher, I was at least hoping he'd give them a budget.  But no, the girls were planning their dream wedding with NO budget.  UGH!

    SaveSave
  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas peaced out. member
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    monkeysip said:
    Just to add a little tidbit...

    As I mentioned earlier, I teach at an all girls high school.  Well, it's a Catholic school, and for senior year the girls take a class on vocations.  So they were studying the vocation of marriage and all that the sacrament of marriage means (which I think is great), BUT the teacher decided it was a good idea to get the girls into it by having them plan their future wedding.

    At first it was just about planning the sacrament, like what scripture readings/hymns they would have in the nuptial mass.  Ok, that's not so bad.  But then he expanded it to have them pick their bridal party, their wedding dress, their venue, ETC.  

    *GAG*  

    It was all the girls could talk about forever.  It was so annoying... and just reinforced their obsession with the glamour of getting married, instead of the serious commitment of marriage itself.

    And since I'm the economics teacher, I was at least hoping he'd give them a budget.  But no, the girls were planning their dream wedding with NO budget.  UGH!
    I'm crushing on you a little bit right now for being an econ teacher. <3

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    monkeysipwandajune6themuffinman16
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited July 2014
    I was proud of my daughter when she got married - proud that she had listened to me and waited for the right man to come along!  She was 31 when she married a very mature young man who really suits her.  I was worried that she would settle just because her clock was ticking.  She really found her prince!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    ashley8918JCbride2015
  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
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    Maybe she's sad her degree is from Wheaton college (Illinois). 

    There is also a liberal arts Wheaton college in Massachusetts, that is one of the oldest colleges for women. Same name, very different colleges.
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  • sophhabobophasophhabobopha The Midwestern tundra member
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    I have to throw up. And I'm an engaged 20 year old college student. But seriously.
    image
  • It HADDD to be posed!!! I mean right, because the world doesn't hate us this much right? And by us I mean the collective us as in the world. 
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