Wedding Party

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  • Its nit picky and you know it.  

    Grow up.  (<---- I'm sure going to get it for saying that too)

    Edited - happy now
    So to be clear, what you wanted was for you to post your opinion and then no one disagree or comment on it at all? Was that your goal? Because the best way to do that is to not post your opinion. 
  • I'm guessing she was expecting all of us to be like, "OMG! You are so right! We should expect ridiculous duties from our MOHs and demand that they attend our multiple bridal showers. Thank you for showing us the error of our ways. We will now crown you Queen of The Knotties!"
  • I in no way have the patience to read through this whole thread, so I'm not going to. I am going to respond to OP, to discuss the original issue brought up.

    I too have seen a lot of brides get crushed on here for mentioning an issue with a MOH/bridesmaid. I have seen women who have very high expectations for "duties" of a MOH etc. But many of these women are not upset about shirked duties- they're hurt that their friend isn't being supportive, or maybe lied to them, or something else. Wedding planning can be a big task, that you do take on with your fiance and added stress from an issue with a friend can lead to the issue not be dealt with very well. 

    Looking back on it, I can see that I had my moments with my MOH in particular. I had a small, fairly simple wedding, but it was still time-consuming to plan. I didn't ask my MOH to do any of the "Duties" so often listed on Pinterest and such. But like OP said just not in the way I would've said it- I did have things I was hoping for, and she and I openly discussed them, like I think should be done. You should talk with your MOH about whether you would hope for a bachelorette party because some women don't want them, some women fine male strippers offensive, etc. You do at least bring up these things- some posters are writing as if you get to hope for nothing. Granted, if your MOH can't afford to throw you a bachelorette party, or doesn't have time, or doesn't want to, or anything- you shouldn't be asking "should I kick my best friend out of my wedding because I don't get a bachelorette party" like I've seen on here. But, I understand women hope for some things, and can feel disappointed. When many disappointments stack on top of each other, venting happens. I think some posts are here are the result of a line of disappointments or frustrations, that likely just built on one another- most aren't a big deal, but in the stress and in the moment feel like a big deal. I hope that women in these situations can take a step back and just try to relax, and appreciate your friendship beyond your wedding. Work through any wedding-related issues like you would any other fight or disagreement with your friend. 

    A lot of us on here have gone through it, and instead of attacking women who are currently disappointed, frustrated, or hurt, useful advice or support would be nice. Having been through it, I'm glad I didn't "demote" or "kick out" my MOH despite issues we had. And I'd encourage others to not do such things unless you really have a reason to (like she killed your puppy?) because eventually you'll get to the point of looking back and realizing your best friend/sister/whoever is just that- an important person in your life, who happened to be your MOH and may not have done some of the things you were hoping she'd do but she wasn't required to do anyway. 

    Was I disappointed my MOH kept bragging to me and everyone about the amazing bachelorette party she had planned for me, and then when the time came it turned out she forgot to send out invites and only the bridesmaids came? Absolutely. Was I disappointed that she didn't think to figure out transportation, and it was a big mess? Yes. Was I frustrated when she didn't order her dress until the month before the wedding and then kept complaining about the cost of getting it rush ordered (when she'd been free to pick out any knee-length or floor length black dress and had known for months)? Yes, very much so. Those are all things that in the moment I was hurt, upset and emotional about. Now, I chalk most of my issues up with her being she's always been really bad at planning things, and at least she tried. Hopefully in the future she'll accept help from other girls when they offer to help plan things, as my bridesmaids did, but she'd been very prideful/controlling and declined. Maybe it's a lesson to other brides that if, like me, your best friend is someone you know is disorganized, forgetful and not great at planning things- you could decide to just skip a bachelorette party, or plan a girls night yourself if that's all you're looking for, or maybe it's so important to you that you should ask someone else to be your MOH.

     In the end, I can look back on it all and be glad that my best friend was a part of my wedding day. The rest doesn't really matter. When I see brides who are hurt/upset/frustrated/anything because their MOH or bridesmaid isn't living up to the things they'd hoped for, that's my advice for them- look forward to having this important woman in your life being a part of your wedding, hope for the best, and talk through any disappointments with your fiance/mother/whoever you choose, rather than considering kicking the woman out or demoting her.  
  • I was waiting for it.

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                                 Anniversary
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  • To all everyone that quoted: I love you and I am happy.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  

    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.  
  • I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  


    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.  
    JIC
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    Anniversary
  • I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  

    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.  
    Someone needs a margarita, badly.

    image

  • I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  

    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.  
    Someone needs a margarita, badly.

    image

    Love love love love this movie!!!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'm guessing the OP is about 16....
    Mental age of 2
  • I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  

    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.  
    Someone needs a margarita, badly.

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    Midnight margaritas!



  • I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  

    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.
    I am so happy I never got this carried away about the internet while I was planning my wedding.
  • jneen101 said:
    I deleted because I'm over all this shit.  I don't need to "stand by" anything.  I said what I said and its plastered all over in all of the reply's so obviously I know deleting does nothing, but I chose to do it, so get over it.  

    You can all post away about how immature I am and how I treat my friends like shit and that I'm a bridezilla.  I don't care.
    I am so happy I never got this carried away about the internet while I was planning my wedding.
    image

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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