Dear Wednesday
You're here already?? It's been a busy week!
Your Friend,
Desperately needs a vacation
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Dear Neighbor Kids
You're lucky I called you 'Kids' instead of something else. Coming into my fenced/gated back yard which has a sign that says 'No Trespassing' is not cool. You kids don't know how to properly latch the gate back behind you. When I've told you on multiple occasions I don't want you in my backyard, I meant it. When I put a lock on my gate latch so you cannot open it - I didn't mean 'get creative'. When I knock on your door and you run to it and say 'My mom's in the shower' - you're really not pulling a fast one over me (either she's not home or you don't want to get in trouble - or both). Then knocking on my door 3+ times because you finally figured out I don't want you on my property to get your ball and then mouthing off to me saying 'See, wasn't it better when we just went back there and got the ball ourselves' - doesn't earn you any brownie points. I don't care if you're 8 years old or 38 years old, trespassing is trespassing. Kicking your ball over my fence 6+ times in a 3 hour period is excessive. I have dogs, I love my dogs very very much and you not so much; I do not want my dogs biting your asses because your idiots and in their eyes intruders because you're on their property without permission. I also do not want you accidentally letting my dogs out to potentially get hurt because you don't know how to properly latch a fence.
Sincerely
Keep your ball on your own side of the fence!
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Dear FI
Can you please call me back? I know you weren't feeling well, just want to see if you're doing any better.
Love
FI