Tipping- Help me read between the lines

lizzypoo96

In my effort to be a Type A bride in my chaotic world, I'm trying to get all tips and things already set so they can be handed out at the wedding all ready to go. I emailed our event coordinator at our venue (we're having the reception at a banquet room within a restaurant) to see if the "facility" charge included gratuity for servers. Her exactly reply: "the facility charge comes back to the house and pays the servers' salaries, covers the cost of linen, china, etc. You are not obligated to leave a gratuity. If, however, you feel as though the staff did a good job and would like to leave them a little something, you're welcome to do that."

ok, so should I plan on tipping the servers? I don't even know how many there'd be? or am I just crazy for trying to work this all out before the wedding? ack!

photokitty

Mine said the same thing, but also added "they are paid well." You could always ask what their hourly rate is...

I didn't end up tipping extra bc I had some major issues and the servers barely did an adequate job. DH had cash to tip them as we expected stellar service, it was faaaaar from it sadly.

April192002

I would ask again as photokitty suggested. Based on the original response, I don't imagine you will get a straight answer, but I would take TKs advice and budget 15-20%, and tip according to service. Most restaurants tend to add gratuity for larger parties so even if you can't necessarily afford "The $tandard" defined below, a tip of any kind is usually appreciated - and if they don't appreciate the amount, what's the likelihood that you'll be back and they'll remember you outside of your wedding attire?

When I go to restaurants many of the problems I have aren't the server's fault so I tip them based on what they did or could control. IMO, if you have a problem big enough to feel the need not to tip you should make a manager aware of the situation. When with a larger group and we have gratuity tacked on, I will take the amount I would normally tip, subtract the gratuity, and leave the difference. Now that I'm thinking about it, you could probably get away with anticipating 10-15% tip assuming that they are going to be paid minimum wage or higher and/or gratuity has already been included somewhere in the bill already.

 

Wedding Reception Staff

This type of staff includes the on-site coordinator, maitre d', and banquet manager. A service charge (typically 2 percent) is almost always built in to the food and drink fee, so check your contract. If the gratuity is not included, tip as follows.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 20 percent of the food and drink fee (based on labor, not the cost), or $200 - $300 for the maitre d'.
When to Tip: If it's covered in the contract, the final bill is typically due before the reception. Otherwise, have the father of the bride or best man hand the envelope to the maitre d' at the end of the reception since you will need to know the final tab to calculate the percentage.

lc07

Basically, she is saying that the gratuity is not included. If you don't tip them, they won't be tipped. I would ask her what the standard gratuity is.

melbenso

I had something similar happen to me.  When I asked our DOC about tipping, she told me that I didn't have to tip, but I could if I wanted to.  I asked her how much the servers and bartender were paid per hour (turned out to be more than standard minimum wage, rather than server wage - so 3-4 times as much as most waiters or bartenders). 

I still tipped them, because service was very good.  But rather than tip 20% of the bill as a part of their salary for the night, I considered it more of a thank you gift. I tipped the servers each $50 and the bartender $150.  I based the amounts on the approximate numbers of our guests that they served throughout the night.  (i.e. bartender served all our guests, servers each served about 20% of them, but did other things like set up and clearing as well)

jules3964

Are you supposed to tip 15-20% on the overall catering bill, just food and drink, or what? Our catering bill includes costs broken out for the following:

- rentals

- food

- drinks

- staff

- service charge

20% of the total bill seems outrageous to me, but I do want to tip what is fair. Their "service charge" unfortunately does not include gratuity.

melbenso

@jules3964 If the servers/bartenders are making server wage (usually $2.13/hour unless your state has a law that makes it higher) you should tip them 15-20% of the food bill (for all servers together) and 15-20% of the bar bill (for all bartenders together), more if you think there was excellent service; just as you would if you were tipping at a restaurant. Things like service charge, rentals, and staff costs should not be included in the amount you calculate tip from.

jules3964

melbenso said:

@jules3964 If the servers/bartenders are making server wage (usually $2.13/hour unless your state has a law that makes it higher) you should tip them 15-20% of the food bill (for all servers together) and 15-20% of the bar bill (for all bartenders together), more if you think there was excellent service; just as you would if you were tipping at a restaurant. Things like service charge, rentals, and staff costs should not be included in the amount you calculate tip from.

Thanks!! That sounds much more reasonable.

dramamonkey

I had a gratuity that was built in to my fee, but I still tipped the bartender ($50 bucks) and the "service captains" who were, in essence, my on-site coordinators day of ($50 each).