Helicopter Parents Suck!

lyndausvi

I went to my parent's last month for my dad's party.    The next morning I decided to run to the store for some chocolate milk for myself and nieces/nephews.  My dad RUNS out of the house and stops me as I'm pulling out to give me money.       

I'm like "dad, I can afford milk".

Dad "no, no, no, let me pay"as he is opening up his wallet.

Me:  "DAD, really, it's ridiculous to give me money for MILK.  Milk you do not even drink".

Off I went.      Later that day I found some cash stuffed in my purse.  Had to have been from my dad because I do not put cash in that pocket.

Once a parent always a parent.

mysticl

lyndausvi said:

I went to my parent's last month for my dad's party.    The next morning I decided to run to the store for some chocolate milk for myself and nieces/nephews.  My dad RUNS out of the house and stops me as I'm pulling out to give me money.       

I'm like "dad, I can afford milk".

Dad "no, no, no, let me pay"as he is opening up his wallet.

Me:  "DAD, really, it's ridiculous to give me money for MILK.  Milk you do not even drink".

Off I went.      Later that day I found some cash stuffed in my purse.  Had to have been from my dad because I do not put cash in that pocket.

Once a parent always a parent.

My grandma used to give my mom money. My grandparents were on a fixed income so we would hide it somewhere in the apartment for them to find after we left.  

Kauris

My stepmom always give me "walking around money" when I visit. If I go out with friends for the evening, she'll slip me a $20 and walk off.

gladyscf

My mom has always been extremely picky about cleaning. We always say that the 5 second rule doesn't exist at her house. Kiddingnotkidding. You could literally eat off of her floors. We didn't wake up to breakfast smells growing up, we woke up to Pine-Sol and bleach. 

When my kids were little and I was trying to get them to clean, I would tell them that Granny was coming to visit. That would get their little butts moving and they would clean like crazy. We used to say that all we could see was asses and elbows as they were scrambling to clean up! As they got older and if I asked them to clean something they would ask if they had to "Granny clean" it or just regular clean it. 

VulgarGirl

lyndausvi said:

I went to my parent's last month for my dad's party.    The next morning I decided to run to the store for some chocolate milk for myself and nieces/nephews.  My dad RUNS out of the house and stops me as I'm pulling out to give me money.       

I'm like "dad, I can afford milk".

Dad "no, no, no, let me pay"as he is opening up his wallet.

Me:  "DAD, really, it's ridiculous to give me money for MILK.  Milk you do not even drink".

Off I went.      Later that day I found some cash stuffed in my purse.  Had to have been from my dad because I do not put cash in that pocket.

Once a parent always a parent.

Out parents still stop by with food for us. I don't know why. But hell food is food.

lyndausvi

MagicInk said:

lyndausvi said:

I went to my parent's last month for my dad's party.    The next morning I decided to run to the store for some chocolate milk for myself and nieces/nephews.  My dad RUNS out of the house and stops me as I'm pulling out to give me money.       

I'm like "dad, I can afford milk".

Dad "no, no, no, let me pay"as he is opening up his wallet.

Me:  "DAD, really, it's ridiculous to give me money for MILK.  Milk you do not even drink".

Off I went.      Later that day I found some cash stuffed in my purse.  Had to have been from my dad because I do not put cash in that pocket.

Once a parent always a parent.

Out parents still stop by with food for us. I don't know why. But hell food is food.

My parents pretty much just takes us out for meals. I would say about every 5th time we are able to pay.  And that is only if we are able to slip the credit card to the staff before my dad does.

Whatever, I know he would never put his retirement needs over buying us dinner, so I just go with it. It was strange for DH to get use to.  His family is the complete opposite and if anything we are expected to pay for them.   

Anyway, we see my parents once, maybe twice a year for a few days each.  It's not like he is feeding us all year.

wandajune6

mrsstatic2b said:

My oldest is in the marines and he was shocked at how many of his fellow recruits he had to teach to do their own laundry. 

I just smiled remembering how he thought I was the worse mother for making him do his own laundry, learn to iron, learn to cook, etc. He sheepishly apologized for all the fights and thanked me for teaching him how to be an adult. Best parenting moment ever!

My parents did that for us too!

We learned to do our own laundry when we complained about being asked to help. Dinner was different. My dad cooked every night and we would help him while we waited for mom to get home. When we were little, it was stuff like grabbing stuff from the pantry, later it was peeling veggies, and later it was lots of chopping. It's how I learned to cook.

I never did learn to iron though- my parents avoid it like the plague!

SBmini

MagicInk said:

lyndausvi said:

I went to my parent's last month for my dad's party.    The next morning I decided to run to the store for some chocolate milk for myself and nieces/nephews.  My dad RUNS out of the house and stops me as I'm pulling out to give me money.       

I'm like "dad, I can afford milk".

Dad "no, no, no, let me pay"as he is opening up his wallet.

Me:  "DAD, really, it's ridiculous to give me money for MILK.  Milk you do not even drink".

Off I went.      Later that day I found some cash stuffed in my purse.  Had to have been from my dad because I do not put cash in that pocket.

Once a parent always a parent.

Out parents still stop by with food for us. I don't know why. But hell food is food.

His mom will make dolma (grape leaves stuffed with meat and rice) and take them out to AZ when they visit. We're talking like 100 of these little things at a time. She must spend hours doing it. All because my husband likes them. LIKES no loves, but likes, and he asked her to make them for him once. I asked her to teach me how to make them, but she won't show me because it is "hard." If anyone wants any dolma, I currently have three large tupperwares of them in the freezer.

LakeR2014

I won't lie...my mom will still bring my DH and I food/medicine when we're sick.   She's always been the 'comforting' type of mom and I absolutely love her for it.   When we come back from trips away, they're usually the ones to pick us up at the airport.  She'll come bearing food and groceries to 'get us through the next few days' so our first stop doesn't have to be the grocery store.

Thankfully growing up they gave us plenty of structure, chores, and space for independence so I'm self-sufficient, but even at my age (30s) I can still appreciate the comforts of home.

Maggie0829

I wouldn't say that my Mom was a helicopter parent at all (I mean she let me wear what I want and do what I want and not freak out over every little thing) but she was a SAHM and according to her, her job was to take care of the house and the kids.  That meant that I didn't have to clean or do laundry or wash the dishes, nothing.  Luckily just by watching her do it I learned how and was able to "survive" just fine when I moved out (H, not so much), but I had a new found respect for just how much shit she did.

Even today when my Mom comes to visit she can't help but do my laundry and dust and vacuum around the house, but she isn't as crazy about it as she once was.  But no matter how hard I try she won't let me spend any money on her when she is home to visit.  If we go out shopping, she pays.  We go to eat, she pays.  We go pick up a few items from the food store, she pays.  I always try to pay but tend to just give up after a while.

wandajune6

SBmini said:

MagicInk said:

lyndausvi said:

I went to my parent's last month for my dad's party.    The next morning I decided to run to the store for some chocolate milk for myself and nieces/nephews.  My dad RUNS out of the house and stops me as I'm pulling out to give me money.       

I'm like "dad, I can afford milk".

Dad "no, no, no, let me pay"as he is opening up his wallet.

Me:  "DAD, really, it's ridiculous to give me money for MILK.  Milk you do not even drink".

Off I went.      Later that day I found some cash stuffed in my purse.  Had to have been from my dad because I do not put cash in that pocket.

Once a parent always a parent.

Out parents still stop by with food for us. I don't know why. But hell food is food.

His mom will make dolma (grape leaves stuffed with meat and rice) and take them out to AZ when they visit. We're talking like 100 of these little things at a time. She must spend hours doing it. All because my husband likes them. LIKES no loves, but likes, and he asked her to make them for him once. I asked her to teach me how to make them, but she won't show me because it is "hard." If anyone wants any dolma, I currently have three large tupperwares of them in the freezer.

I love dolma. I would love to make them but have been told the same thing- a friend's mom makes them and she never wants to show me. Can't figure out why.

gmcr78

shrekspeare said:

MIL does our dishes when she's at our house. It drives me BSC. She doesn't use the dishwasher and she doesn't put them away in the right place. It's nice of her, but not nice when I have to rewash and hunt through the cupboards for the next week to find my beaters.

My MIL will sneak off to do dishes when we have them over, but it's bad for a different reason. She's not used to doing them (they have a dishwasher, we don't) so they're not really clean and I have to redo them anyway.  It's really nice of her to want to help, but it doesn't really help.

jenajjthr

I hated my mom for making me do dishes, do laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning, etc. But now, how much I love her for that. I made my kids do the same. They know how much hard work it is to keep a house, maybe not sparkly clean, but at least decently clean. When we go over to my mom's I still help out and clean up before and after dinner. I hate to leave it dirtier than we we arrived, or make her clean up all our dishes. That's just wrong in my opinion. But she just says to leave it, I'll get it later. Nope, not gonna happen. But if we go out to eat, she insists on paying. Granted she makes more than hubby and me combined, but still I don't like her paying every time either. I love her to death, but she frustrates me in the good sense.

gladyscf

When FI and I were still doing the long distance thing, my mom and step-dad would take me to/from the airport. When they picked me up, mom always had a pop wrapped in tin foil to keep it cold for me. This thread just reminded me of that one of many awesome things my mom has done over the years. It wasn't something huge, but I'll always remember that and smile.

thisismynickname2

Re: Helicopter Parents

I can't say much due to FERPA, but I work with adult learners. We got an angsty call from a student's dad once about how "she can't handle this, she's just a kid" or words to that effect.  I check her file; she's 42.  She's a licensed professional pursuing higher education.  Oh, and she's a professional athlete.

I don't have nearly enough psych education to figure that one out.