Helicopter Parents Suck!

jenajjthr

My stepson joined the Navy (as a Nuclear Engineer - go him!) and left for boot camp today. When the leave the processing center its only the recruits, there is no active duty person in charge of them. They do put one of the recruits in charge, lead them to the check in counter, get their boarding passes, lead them to the gate, etc. But they are basically on their own. They are now adults, they should be able to handle checking into the airport on their own, getting on their flight all by themselves. Families are welcome to meet them there and see them off though. 

One mom I guess didn't think the recruit in charge or her son could handle that. So once there, got in the check out line, called him away from the group, took his official papers, took his ID, and tried to get his boarding pass for him. I mean really? I joked to the hubby that she was probably going to buy a ticket for the same flight as well. 

I went through this last year myself when my son joined, wanting to make sure he was checked in, nothing was overlooked. But I controlled that mommy instinct in me to do things for him. I had to step back and let him go. I wish this mom did this, because this poor boy might not hear the end of it on the flight. 

/end rant/

SBmini

I can't even begin to imagine the teasing that kid is going to be subjected to after having his mommy take care of him in front of all the other recruits.

emmyg65

Oh man, that poor kid is going to get a razzing.

cupcait927

Bootcamp is going to be ROUGH on that kid if that's the way he's starting out. Poor guy

AddieCake

Humiliating.

lyndausvi

Poor recruit.    

My husband had gotten phone calls from parents about their adults kids schedule, write up, you name it.    DH clearly says "I do not deal with parents".   Some parents do not take that answer and will storm in his office demanding their kid get a better schedule or to get a write up removed.

Umm. I'm sorry, but your angle is not so much of an angle.  She clocked into work then was seen by security driving away.   Not only that the HR director and DH were driving together a few miles away where they saw her on the side of the road talking to some people.  IN UNIFORM, while on the clock.  She is lucky she still has a job lady.

SBmini

lyndausvi said:

Poor recruit.    

My husband had gotten phone calls from parents about their adults kids schedule, write up, you name it.    DH clearly says "I do not deal with parents".   Some parents do not take that answer and will storm in his office demanding their kid get a better schedule or to get a write up removed.

Umm. I'm sorry, but your angle is not so much of an angle.  She clocked into work then was seen by security driving away.   Not only that the HR director and DH were driving together a few miles away where they saw her on the side of the road talking to some people.  IN UNIFORM, while on the clock.  She is lucky she still has a job lady.

My parents gave one of my cousins a job. After he just completely and utterly failed at it- showing up hours late, not showing up at all, not doing the work he was supposed to do, etc- my parents fired him.

My aunt and uncle came into the office to beg for their 30-year-old son's job back. And yes, he stilled lived with them. 

Edit- grammar is hard

theexactlee

My sister did this when my nephew joined the navy. She was humiliating. Then when he was being sent home due to his severe migraines and he was like, between being in the active navy and home (there is a name for this I can't remember) she was calling everyday asking for updates on him. They told her to back off. She was livid.

jenajjthr

As a teacher I get my share of helicopter parents, and I've heard other horror stories. This was just painful to watch for the poor kid. The look on his face as he walked up to her in line was just horrifying. You knew he wanted to be a million miles away from there. 

What was funny to watch was the other kids milling about while the recruit in charge went up to get the boarding passes. Some looked comfortable and relaxed, some looked nervous, but they all were just circling about in a small circle. All wearing the same Navy top and jeans. It was kind of cute, they looked like little lost kids waiting for somebody to show them what to do. Lol. 

mysticl

My husband is a Navy Nuke.  Even after they've been in a while you hear all sorts of stories of moms (and wives) freaking out and trying to get involved. 

There are usually some fun stories during deployments. Sometimes they can't contact home because they are busy (after all it's not a Carnival Cruise) or outgoing personal communication gets shut down for a while.  Some sailors will forget to mention this to their loved ones and the first time communications get shut down people go a little crazy.  Some panic that something horrible has happened, others get pissed that their sailor is out there having a good time and can't be bothered to send an e-mail.  

LadyMillil

In the lab next door a parent actually called the principal investigator and asked him to hire her son, who was a 4th year university student. Parent had sent in the resume and wanted to set up a job interview between her, the PI and her son. It's one thing to help your kid make a resume and go over interview skills, but this was way over the top.

mysticl

LadyMillil said:

In the lab next door a parent actually called the principal investigator and asked him to hire her son, who was a 4th year university student. Parent had sent in the resume and wanted to set up a job interview between her, the PI and her son. It's one thing to help your kid make a resume and go over interview skills, but this was way over the top.

Why do I feel like she may have just compromised her job as well as guaranteeing her kid doesn't get hired?

banana468

My dad still tells the story about when he went to boot camp in the Navy in 1969 and some kid showed up with 7 sets of clothing packed by his mommy.    Poor dude was teased by everyone.

jenajjthr

ExH was Navy and I remember being told by somebody that if the military wanted him to have a wife he would have been issued one in his seabag. IF something happened to him I would be informed by somebody and no news was good news, meaning don't bother people if I didn't hear anything. That was something I still remember to this day with my son who is now in the Navy, and now stepson. But today there is this awesome thing called the internet. I have more contact with my son through FB, Skype, email. I'm a happy momma, I'm good when I hear from hear about once every week or so. 

I've read stories like LadyMillil said in internet columns, but to hear that from an actual person, wow, just wow. 

mysticl

jenajjthr said:

ExH was Navy and I remember being told by somebody that if the military wanted him to have a wife he would have been issued one in his seabag. IF something happened to him I would be informed by somebody and no news was good news, meaning don't bother people if I didn't hear anything. That was something I still remember to this day with my son who is now in the Navy, and now stepson. But today there is this awesome thing called the internet. I have more contact with my son through FB, Skype, email. I'm a happy momma, I'm good when I hear from hear about once every week or so. 

I've read stories like LadyMillil said in internet columns, but to hear that from an actual person, wow, just wow. 

Which is kind of the problem. Because it did used to be no news is good news. Now people are used to all this contact so when they don't hear anything they freak out thinking the worst has happened. The last time DH was deployed I had people making comments about "when you call him".  They were flat out shocked to hear I couldn't place a phone call to him.  He was on an aircraft carrier, they don't get incoming personal calls.  

jenajjthr

When my exH was in, he was in trident submarines. We got 40 word telegrams, and only 8 of them. They got nothing. Unless there was a port call, then you may have received a letter if he sent one out. Aaahhh. The memories. Lol. Now I hear they do have email access. That would be cool. Stepson is considering subs, so some contact would be nice for his sister. But that is years away.

mysticl

jenajjthr said:

When my exH was in, he was in trident submarines. We got 40 word telegrams, and only 8 of them. They got nothing. Unless there was a port call, then you may have received a letter if he sent one out. Aaahhh. The memories. Lol. Now I hear they do have email access. That would be cool. Stepson is considering subs, so some contact would be nice for his sister. But that is years away.

My husband used to be on subs and tells stories about the telegrams.  He had transferred to surface by the time we met.  The subs do have e-mail access now but depending on his job he may not have a whole lot of time to send them.  Nukes tend to be pretty busy.  

lovesclimbing

How old is he?  If he's in boot camp, he's got to be at least 16-18?  I knew exactly how to get my ticket, check bags, read my ticket and get where I needed to be on time when I was 12. I traveled for the first time alone when I was 13.

Simply Fated

mysticl said:

show previous quotes

jenajjthr said:

ExH was Navy and I remember being told by somebody that if the military wanted him to have a wife he would have been issued one in his seabag. IF something happened to him I would be informed by somebody and no news was good news, meaning don't bother people if I didn't hear anything. That was something I still remember to this day with my son who is now in the Navy, and now stepson. But today there is this awesome thing called the internet. I have more contact with my son through FB, Skype, email. I'm a happy momma, I'm good when I hear from hear about once every week or so. 

I've read stories like LadyMillil said in internet columns, but to hear that from an actual person, wow, just wow. 

Which is kind of the problem. Because it did used to be no news is good news. Now people are used to all this contact so when they don't hear anything they freak out thinking the worst has happened. The last time DH was deployed I had people making comments about "when you call him".  They were flat out shocked to hear I couldn't place a phone call to him.  He was on an aircraft carrier, they don't get incoming personal calls.  

This X a million.

buddysmom80

First off, FI's BM is former submarine nuc engineer guy it's cool to hear there are other people out there still interested in that!

Second, my CW is the queen of helicopter moms. She called all her daughter's professors to make sure that her daughter was doing her work and what she could do to bring her grade up. The professors refused to speak to her becasue technically her daughter is an adult and my CW had a fit, she almost drove to the school to set up meetings. Before then when they were assigning roommates, her daughter got bunked with a girl on the other side of the state and they were chatting all summer. Of course the topic of boys came up and CW's daughter told the roommate which guy she liked. The roommate contacted the guy via FB and snapchatted a ton of pictures to him. CW was so livid she paid extra to have her daughter have a private room her first year away at college.

There's a million stories, but those are the top two.

Same CW, her son is 25, still lives at home (not surprised in this geographic area) and fills out job applications for him, pays all his bills, gas money, buys him clothes and gives him money to take his girlfriend out.

Maybe it's just me, but my parents told me once I turned 18 to deal with shit because I'm an adult now.

Thanks mom and dad X 1000000000

SBmini

In reading this thread I've realized that my MIL is a helicopter parent. If he doesn't call her at least every few days she leaves these horribly manipulative messages. "Why aren't you answering? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" I've told him many times that she needs to back off because you are an adult who can handle his own life.

But she does this with everyone. She had her brother and two nieces live with her for years totally free. Cooked for them, cleaned for them, did their laundry, etc. Never pushed them to move on because she felt like it was her duty to take care of them. The nieces have since moved out, by her brother will probably never leave.

gladyscf

My oldest is in the marines and he was shocked at how many of his fellow recruits he had to teach to do their own laundry. 

I just smiled remembering how he thought I was the worse mother for making him do his own laundry, learn to iron, learn to cook, etc. He sheepishly apologized for all the fights and thanked me for teaching him how to be an adult. Best parenting moment ever!

lyndausvi

mrsstatic2b said:

My oldest is in the marines and he was shocked at how many of his fellow recruits he had to teach to do their own laundry. 

I just smiled remembering how he thought I was the worse mother for making him do his own laundry, learn to iron, learn to cook, etc. He sheepishly apologized for all the fights and thanked me for teaching him how to be an adult. Best parenting moment ever!

When I was tall enough to reach the knobs I was doing laundry.  I started cleaning around 8?  Once a week I had to vacuum and dust my room.    Eventually bathroom duty was added (my sister and I took turns).   We even had lawn mowing duties. It was a riding mower, slap on the walk-man and off I went.  It was relaxing actually.

Anyway, I bitched at the time, but was thankful for the skills when I went off on my own.  Of course now I can afford a housekeeper  :-)

MIL doesn't let her kids "touch her stuff".  Definition of stuff includes, oven, microwave, washer, dryer, vacuum, well you get the idea.   At any given point at least 1 of the adult kids (late-20's to 40's) is living with her. (most times there are 2, but BIL just moved out last week).  She does everything.    The youngest gets married in the fall and she is the last to move out.  Sadly she is moving out with NO SKILLS.    Isn't even allowed to boil an egg.   On the the other side MIL is going to be devastated she has no one to take care of.  

I've said this before, but DH is a profession chef.  He runs 20 MILLION dollar kitchens.  He has cooked for 3 presidents, countless celebrities and other high profile people.  He has do some major events for upwards of 3000 people.      His mom will not let him cook in her home.  Not even allowed to turn on a stove.    She's crazy.

However, she only does that at home.  She has no problem letting them take risks or figure out life on their own.  If you fail, you fail.  Use it as a learning experience.    Just do not think about touching her stuff.

falsara

My dad was in the marines and my mom was in the Navy, both are retired now, but I remember when I was a kid and Dad was on deployments, and when he sent a letter, everything in my house came to a halt.  In my early years it was only snail mail, and then his last deplyment before he retired was 2004, it was so different for me to actually get emails, and phone calls from him that weren't spaced about a month apart.  We never had the ability to skype though, now military family members are downright spoiled, by the amount of consistent contact they can have.

 

I'm so happy my parents made me learn how to be self sufficeint when I was growing up, we had chores and a schedule for homework and everything, there were a lot of times when we were home before mom, and we knew what was expected of us when we walked in the door.

 

  Right now I have a summer job at the school I go to in the Academic Advising office, when I get calls from parents to set up thier kids' appointments it drives me nuts.  Especially when I ask the parent a question about contact info and I hear her going "hey bobby, whats your email?"  and then I can hear him answer back. Lady, put your kid on the phone so he can learn to be an adult.  Its not just the freshman students either, the transfer kids are just as coddled. SMH.

 

VulgarGirl

My friend just told me she had to teach her 28 year old husband how to boil water because he had no idea. Before the got married she had to teach him how to do laundry and load the dishwasher because in her words "You get a wife, not a maid" and I might have taught her those words. But she was raised by a helicopter mom too, just not as bad as he was. Her mom picked out her clothes for her every morning. Until she was a junior in high school. Which explains a lot of her fashion choices up til then. Every morning while she showered her mom went in her room, picked out her clothes and laid them out for her.

I cannot grasp helicopter parenting because I had the exact opposite. I don't remember how old I was when I learned to use the washer/dryer. Because it was just kind of something I always knew how to do (according to my mom, I was about 3 when she had me start helping her). I was the child of working divorced parents. I didn't just run my own life and keep track of my schedule, I kept track of my parents too. Otherwise, someone would forget to pick me up. I knew who was suppressed to be where at what time, I made doctor's appointments as needed for myself and  a lot of the times my parents. 

My friend (the one mentioned above) called me when she was about 21 and told me she didn't feel well and needed to see a doctor. I asked if she needed a ride and she said "No, but uh, how do I ya know...tell the doctor I need to see him?" I had to walk her through setting up a doctor's appointment because she had never done it. Her mom always did it for her, I even had to walk her through what she'd need to bring and what a co-pay was. Then I called my mom and thanked her for letting me do my own shit. 

I've also had parents come yell at me for tattooing/piercing their over the age of 18 child. I even had one mom come in with her 30 year old daughter and tell me I shouldn't have tattooed the girl without her permission. Over the age of 18 and of sound mind? Yeah, she gets to make her own body art choices, I'm not calling her mommy. 

beethery

MagicInk said:

My friend just told me she had to teach her 28 year old husband how to boil water because he had no idea. Before the got married she had to teach him how to do laundry and load the dishwasher because in her words "You get a wife, not a maid" and I might have taught her those words. But she was raised by a helicopter mom too, just not as bad as he was. Her mom picked out her clothes for her every morning. Until she was a junior in high school. Which explains a lot of her fashion choices up til then. Every morning while she showered her mom went in her room, picked out her clothes and laid them out for her.

I cannot grasp helicopter parenting because I had the exact opposite. I don't remember how old I was when I learned to use the washer/dryer. Because it was just kind of something I always knew how to do (according to my mom, I was about 3 when she had me start helping her). I was the child of working divorced parents. I didn't just run my own life and keep track of my schedule, I kept track of my parents too. Otherwise, someone would forget to pick me up. I knew who was suppressed to be where at what time, I made doctor's appointments as needed for myself and  a lot of the times my parents. 

My friend (the one mentioned above) called me when she was about 21 and told me she didn't feel well and needed to see a doctor. I asked if she needed a ride and she said "No, but uh, how do I ya know...tell the doctor I need to see him?" I had to walk her through setting up a doctor's appointment because she had never done it. Her mom always did it for her, I even had to walk her through what she'd need to bring and what a co-pay was. Then I called my mom and thanked her for letting me do my own shit. 

I've also had parents come yell at me for tattooing/piercing their over the age of 18 child. I even had one mom come in with her 30 year old daughter and tell me I shouldn't have tattooed the girl without her permission. Over the age of 18 and of sound mind? Yeah, she gets to make her own body art choices, I'm not calling her mommy. 

FI said something about the kitchen needing to be vacuumed just once. One whole time. I had been super busy at work and with some night class things. I'm still working with him on cleaning up his own messes, but he has learned that going about it this way is not going to get the nicest response:

FI: Floor is kind of dirty in here, were you going to vacuum soon? I hate having to brush my feet off after I walk in here.

Me: I am not the only one who lives here. You know where the vacuum and extension cord live. You know how to use the vacuum. I pick up your slack when you get busy, and you ought to do the same when I get busy. Even exchange. We good?

FI: We good.

His parents' house is always spotless, and I think he didn't put it together that cleaning takes time and effort, and sometimes he needs to get it together and clean too.

SBmini

lyndausvi said:

show previous quotes

mrsstatic2b said:

My oldest is in the marines and he was shocked at how many of his fellow recruits he had to teach to do their own laundry. 

I just smiled remembering how he thought I was the worse mother for making him do his own laundry, learn to iron, learn to cook, etc. He sheepishly apologized for all the fights and thanked me for teaching him how to be an adult. Best parenting moment ever!

When I was tall enough to reach the knobs I was doing laundry.  I started cleaning around 8?  Once a week I had to vacuum and dust my room.    Eventually bathroom duty was added (my sister and I took turns).   We even had lawn mowing duties. It was a riding mower, slap on the walk-man and off I went.  It was relaxing actually.

Anyway, I bitched at the time, but was thankful for the skills when I went off on my own.  Of course now I can afford a housekeeper  :-)

MIL doesn't let her kids "touch her stuff".  Definition of stuff includes, oven, microwave, washer, dryer, vacuum, well you get the idea.   At any given point at least 1 of the adult kids (late-20's to 40's) is living with her. (most times there are 2, but BIL just moved out last week).  She does everything.    The youngest gets married in the fall and she is the last to move out.  Sadly she is moving out with NO SKILLS.    Isn't even allowed to boil an egg.   On the the other side MIL is going to be devastated she has no one to take care of.  

I've said this before, but DH is a profession chef.  He runs 20 MILLION dollar kitchens.  He has cooked for 3 presidents, countless celebrities and other high profile people.  He has do some major events for upwards of 3000 people.      His mom will not let him cook in her home.  Not even allowed to turn on a stove.    She's crazy.

However, she only does that at home.  She has no problem letting them take risks or figure out life on their own.  If you fail, you fail.  Use it as a learning experience.    Just do not think about touching her stuff.

Lol! That is my MIL! She won't let me do ANYTHING when I visit. I have to wash dishes behind her back. And she washes, irons and folds everything we brought before we leave. I had to teach my husband how to do everything when we moved in together, but thankfully, he didn't come with any illusions that it wasn't his job to help out. I always clean my house before she visits, but it doesn't matter, she'll just clean everything again. She visited once when she was very sick with a sinus infection that wouldn't go away. I told her to rest made her promise not to do anything. When I came home, she was cleaning my blinds.

SBmini

beethery said:

show previous quotes

MagicInk said:

My friend just told me she had to teach her 28 year old husband how to boil water because he had no idea. Before the got married she had to teach him how to do laundry and load the dishwasher because in her words "You get a wife, not a maid" and I might have taught her those words. But she was raised by a helicopter mom too, just not as bad as he was. Her mom picked out her clothes for her every morning. Until she was a junior in high school. Which explains a lot of her fashion choices up til then. Every morning while she showered her mom went in her room, picked out her clothes and laid them out for her.

I cannot grasp helicopter parenting because I had the exact opposite. I don't remember how old I was when I learned to use the washer/dryer. Because it was just kind of something I always knew how to do (according to my mom, I was about 3 when she had me start helping her). I was the child of working divorced parents. I didn't just run my own life and keep track of my schedule, I kept track of my parents too. Otherwise, someone would forget to pick me up. I knew who was suppressed to be where at what time, I made doctor's appointments as needed for myself and  a lot of the times my parents. 

My friend (the one mentioned above) called me when she was about 21 and told me she didn't feel well and needed to see a doctor. I asked if she needed a ride and she said "No, but uh, how do I ya know...tell the doctor I need to see him?" I had to walk her through setting up a doctor's appointment because she had never done it. Her mom always did it for her, I even had to walk her through what she'd need to bring and what a co-pay was. Then I called my mom and thanked her for letting me do my own shit. 

I've also had parents come yell at me for tattooing/piercing their over the age of 18 child. I even had one mom come in with her 30 year old daughter and tell me I shouldn't have tattooed the girl without her permission. Over the age of 18 and of sound mind? Yeah, she gets to make her own body art choices, I'm not calling her mommy. 

FI said something about the kitchen needing to be vacuumed just once. One whole time. I had been super busy at work and with some night class things. I'm still working with him on cleaning up his own messes, but he has learned that going about it this way is not going to get the nicest response:

FI: Floor is kind of dirty in here, were you going to vacuum soon? I hate having to brush my feet off after I walk in here.

Me: I am not the only one who lives here. You know where the vacuum and extension cord live. You know how to use the vacuum. I pick up your slack when you get busy, and you ought to do the same when I get busy. Even exchange. We good?

FI: We good.

His parents' house is always spotless, and I think he didn't put it together that cleaning takes time and effort, and sometimes he needs to get it together and clean too.

Going to echo this one too! My MIL's house is so spotless that my husband was shocked when he realized how much work it took to keep things clean! "So are you going to clean the bathroom this weekend?" Am I? You know where the supplies are, if you have a problem with how clean something is, why don't you take care of it?

lyndausvi

SBmini said:

show previous quotes

lyndausvi said:

mrsstatic2b said:

My oldest is in the marines and he was shocked at how many of his fellow recruits he had to teach to do their own laundry. 

I just smiled remembering how he thought I was the worse mother for making him do his own laundry, learn to iron, learn to cook, etc. He sheepishly apologized for all the fights and thanked me for teaching him how to be an adult. Best parenting moment ever!

When I was tall enough to reach the knobs I was doing laundry.  I started cleaning around 8?  Once a week I had to vacuum and dust my room.    Eventually bathroom duty was added (my sister and I took turns).   We even had lawn mowing duties. It was a riding mower, slap on the walk-man and off I went.  It was relaxing actually.

Anyway, I bitched at the time, but was thankful for the skills when I went off on my own.  Of course now I can afford a housekeeper  :-)

MIL doesn't let her kids "touch her stuff".  Definition of stuff includes, oven, microwave, washer, dryer, vacuum, well you get the idea.   At any given point at least 1 of the adult kids (late-20's to 40's) is living with her. (most times there are 2, but BIL just moved out last week).  She does everything.    The youngest gets married in the fall and she is the last to move out.  Sadly she is moving out with NO SKILLS.    Isn't even allowed to boil an egg.   On the the other side MIL is going to be devastated she has no one to take care of.  

I've said this before, but DH is a profession chef.  He runs 20 MILLION dollar kitchens.  He has cooked for 3 presidents, countless celebrities and other high profile people.  He has do some major events for upwards of 3000 people.      His mom will not let him cook in her home.  Not even allowed to turn on a stove.    She's crazy.

However, she only does that at home.  She has no problem letting them take risks or figure out life on their own.  If you fail, you fail.  Use it as a learning experience.    Just do not think about touching her stuff.

Lol! That is my MIL! She won't let me do ANYTHING when I visit. I have to wash dishes behind her back. And she washes, irons and folds everything we brought before we leave. I had to teach my husband how to do everything when we moved in together, but thankfully, he didn't come with any illusions that it wasn't his job to help out. I always clean my house before she visits, but it doesn't matter, she'll just clean everything again. She visited once when she was very sick with a sinus infection that wouldn't go away. I told her to rest made her promise not to do anything. When I came home, she was cleaning my blinds.

My mom's house has always been spotless.  However, she enlisted the help of us kids.    Then once they moved to Japan they had a daily maid.  When they got back to the states it went down to every other week.    Even before the housekeeper gets to her home it's spotless.

Now that she has RA she is not as anal, but even the grandkids at age 4 knew to make their beds and pick up their rooms when staying at grandma's house.

beethery

SBmini said:

Going to echo this one too! My MIL's house is so spotless that my husband was shocked when he realized how much work it took to keep things clean! "So are you going to clean the bathroom this weekend?" Am I? You know where the supplies are, if you have a problem with how clean something is, why don't you take care of it?

I like to write out cleaning lists if I plan to go on a redbull-fueled cleaning rampage. One time, I wrote out what products I was going to use to do each thing, because I got a bunch of new stuff and was going to try it out.

Well, sunday came around and I had to do a bunch of emergency errands with my mom and I couldn't go on my cleaning binge. FI saw the cleaning list with details about products and he did everything on there while I was gone. Apparently before he saw that list, he didn't know that what was how I cleaned things. His mom should've educated him lol

Chipmunk415

Here's some fun ones.....

My mom threw a fit of epic proportions one time I visited home from college. Because I did my own laundry before coming home. Granted, I am her only child, this was freshman year thanksgiving, and it was less of a "you dont know how" and more of a "nostalgic want to take care of you" moment. I now tease her about it and allow her to iron my slacks (I can never get the front pleat quite right) when she visits. DH is also amused by her offers to help out around the house when she visits and will jokingly tell her he's saving all his ironing for her for her next trip in 3 months.

When in law school, my folks decided to get me a tv (supposedly for me but mostly so dad would be able to watch tv when he visited). I found the one they wanted to get me at a better price locally than where they were. Dad wanted to cone over and set it up for me. Mom just looked at him and said "whats to set up? There's a power cord and a cable cord that she as a 23 year old law student should be able to figure out by now, and she's the one who hooks up the dvd player for us, so I'm sure she can handle that as well." Dad backrd off but I caught him checking the back of the tv before turning it on.