Dog at Ceremony/Reception?

nsaadeh

I am curious to hear from anyone who has included their dog in their wedding. Our dog is literally our only child and my best friend. I would love to be able to include her but not sure how. At the very least I would like to have her at the reception. Has anyone done this? How was your experience?

southernbelle0915

nsaadeh said:

I am curious to hear from anyone who has included their dog in their wedding. Our dog is literally our only child and my best friend. I would love to be able to include her but not sure how. At the very least I would like to have her at the reception. Has anyone done this? How was your experience?

I have never seen this. Keep in mind a lot of people are allergic to and/or scared of dogs. I know it's almost impossible to see your own dog that way (I have a cat that I just *know* everyone loves..), but you really need to think about your guests and knowing every single person's intimate fears and medical conditions is simply not possible.

What if you included the dog in your photos? So before/after the ceremony you took "family" photos with the pup?

Jen4948

nsaadeh said:

I am curious to hear from anyone who has included their dog in their wedding. Our dog is literally our only child and my best friend. I would love to be able to include her but not sure how. At the very least I would like to have her at the reception. Has anyone done this? How was your experience?

I advise against it.  In addition to people being allergic and/or scared of dogs, also keep in mind the dog's needs.  It still needs to be walked, fed, and otherwise treated the same as any other day.  Many dogs are scared of or not able to be around strangers properly or otherwise handle breaks in routine.  

Also, there needs to be no sniffing, biting, urinating, defecating, chewing on venue property that isn't yours, or other intrusive or destructive behavior by the dog.

kmmssg

 There are people like me who have epi pens because of dog allergies.  I "grew into" this allergy.  Had dogs as a child and a wife/mom in my 20's.  Started getting sensitive in my later 20's and now my seasonal allergies which used to be severe are nothing and my dog sensitivity requires me to care the epi pen.  It sucks because I really love dogs.

Please leave your dog at home.  Only people seriously close to me know of my allergies so you can't really say you "know" none of your guests are allergic.  LOTS of people who know me have no idea I can't be around their dog.

Then there are people who are just uncomfortable around dogs.  They do exist and they shouldn't have to be uncomfortable or afraid, regardless of how socialized your dog is.

Then, there is your dog's comfort and well-being.  Please don't do this.  Do you have someone who can bring him for pictures and then take him back home prior to the wedding?  Then you could include him in some of  your wedding pictures.

I love my cats like you love your dog.  I get that you want to include him - it just isn't a good idea for a variety reasons.

mysticl

That's a lot of stimulation for a dog. Even a well mannered one. Also your reception venue may have rules about non-service animals.  

vsgal

 Even the most well-behaved animals can freak out when surrounded by a lot of hubbub. 

Case in point, my friend got married and had her cocker spaniel in the wedding at the ring bearer.  The dog was about 7 years old and extremely well behaved.  Was trained at obedience school and would do anything on command.  The most loving dog I have ever seen.  At the wedding, the dog got jittery. There were a lot of people around and the noise level was high.  He peed on the bride's dress before even going down the aisle.  We waited another 20 minutes so the dress could be cleaned, but you could still see the spot.  Finally started the procession.  The dog went down the aisle only after being forced by the MOH.  Halfway down, he pooed on the aisle.  Nice.  Get down the aisle, he growled at the BM when he went to get the rings.  At this point, I feel horrible for the dog and the fact that my friend cared less about his well-being and more about forcing an animal to do a human job. Half way through the ceremony, a rabbit hopped by and the dog went ape-shit barking. They had to stop the ceremony to wrangle the dog back.

Right after the ceremony, everyone was mingling.  One of the children at the wedding went to pet the dog and he bit her finger almost clean off.  Remember, this dog had never shown any sign of aggression ever.  He would lick you to death.  The little girl was taken to the ER and the bill was sent to the bride.  And it was not cheap.  The dog was taken home immediately by the MOH.  Problem was home was 30 minutes away during rush hour.  MOH never came back to the reception because by the time she got to the house and got the dog situated she was spent and irritated because the dog pooed and peed in the back seat. 

The point is that most people turn their animals into "children".  They are not. They are animals that have an unpredictable quality.  Even the most behaved can flip if they have the desire and right circumstances.  Put two of them together and you are asking for trouble.  I understand wanting to include the animals.  They don't know what is going on.  They don't appreciate it.  I would highly recommend if you want to include the animals, use pictures of them at the reception.  Take bridal or engagement photos with them.

Please, please, please do not force the animals to perform in your wedding day.  They will be much happier at home.

nsaadeh

vsgal said:

 Even the most well-behaved animals can freak out when surrounded by a lot of hubbub. 

Case in point, my friend got married and had her cocker spaniel in the wedding at the ring bearer.  The dog was about 7 years old and extremely well behaved.  Was trained at obedience school and would do anything on command.  The most loving dog I have ever seen.  At the wedding, the dog got jittery. There were a lot of people around and the noise level was high.  He peed on the bride's dress before even going down the aisle.  We waited another 20 minutes so the dress could be cleaned, but you could still see the spot.  Finally started the procession.  The dog went down the aisle only after being forced by the MOH.  Halfway down, he pooed on the aisle.  Nice.  Get down the aisle, he growled at the BM when he went to get the rings.  At this point, I feel horrible for the dog and the fact that my friend cared less about his well-being and more about forcing an animal to do a human job. Half way through the ceremony, a rabbit hopped by and the dog went ape-shit barking. They had to stop the ceremony to wrangle the dog back.

Right after the ceremony, everyone was mingling.  One of the children at the wedding went to pet the dog and he bit her finger almost clean off.  Remember, this dog had never shown any sign of aggression ever.  He would lick you to death.  The little girl was taken to the ER and the bill was sent to the bride.  And it was not cheap.  The dog was taken home immediately by the MOH.  Problem was home was 30 minutes away during rush hour.  MOH never came back to the reception because by the time she got to the house and got the dog situated she was spent and irritated because the dog pooed and peed in the back seat. 

The point is that most people turn their animals into "children".  They are not. They are animals that have an unpredictable quality.  Even the most behaved can flip if they have the desire and right circumstances.  Put two of them together and you are asking for trouble.  I understand wanting to include the animals.  They don't know what is going on.  They don't appreciate it.  I would highly recommend if you want to include the animals, use pictures of them at the reception.  Take bridal or engagement photos with them.

Please, please, please do not force the animals to perform in your wedding day.  They will be much happier at home.

Oh gosh, wow! After reading this I am definitely second guessing having her present. Maybe just have her present in our engagement pics instead.

beethery

My cousin had she and her now H's dog as the ring bearer in their wedding. He was quiet and behaved well, due to his training. He is a failed-the-test seeing eye dog. My cousin ended up keeping him because he pulled on the lead too much during his test. When he is on a leash, he is the coolest cucumber in the produce section. The most he 'acted out' was when he stood up to look at a bee.

I have a wild-ass chocolate lab that loves EVERYBODY and her two favorite things in the whole world are stimuli and new friends!!!! She would lose her ever-loving mind if we tried to get her to walk down an aisle and not say hi to her grandparents and buddies. I love my dog, but she is not going to be part of the wedding.

WildMagelet

I love my dog.   She will not be invited to the wedding.  Even if we ignore all the things that can go wrong re: the people there plus a dog, it's just way too much for her.  I don't want to have to be watching her interactions with every guest to judge her body language and comfort levels. 

A lot of people include their dogs in photos.  Ours was more than welcomed by our Epic photographer but she ended up staying with my FMIL and being pampered instead.  I plan on doing a TTD with her sometime after the fact (she's a husky, so we're going sledding!).

artbyallie

nsaadeh said:

I am curious to hear from anyone who has included their dog in their wedding. Our dog is literally our only child and my best friend. I would love to be able to include her but not sure how. At the very least I would like to have her at the reception. Has anyone done this? How was your experience?

I can't help but wonder whether this means you actually birthed a canine through your vagina or if it means you dress your toddler up like a dog and feed them out of a bowl on the floor.

AddieCake

I am not a fan.

lyndausvi

I love my dogs.  I'm with them almost 24 hours a day during the weekend and only away from them 6-8 hours a day on the weekends.   No way I would have them at a wedding.  Even though they are great, well behaved dogs, they still need to be watched.   As the bride I wouldn't want the responsibility to  looking after a dog.   I like my family/friends too much to put them in charge just so they can be a prop.  Basically that is what they are props since they have no real concept of what is going on. 

 Depending on where you are getting married it might not even be an option.

QueerFemme

I live my dogs too. I do rescue. I like dogs much more than people. And I agree that they are better left at home during your wedding. There is so much going on. People and food everywhere. Alcohol. Way too much for a dog to be stressed out by, especially when their people are going to be too busy to care for them and give them attention.

doeydo

I know some people are scared of dogs, but I always kind of roll my eyes at those people.  I was walking my family dog once (a lab that was a big baby) and a woman jumped back in horror and clung to the wall as I walked by.  Another woman that lived in the building I once lived in, who I nicknamed The Scowler, gave me this horrible look whenever I walked by with my sister's dog (another big baby lab whom my mom and I used to babysit).  As for those with allergies, maybe you could put somewhere on an insert and/or your wedding website that there will be a dog on location for the wedding.  My FI's allergic to dogs and he just takes an allergy pill when he knows there is going to be dogs somewhere.  I know some people's allergies aren't as easily managed, but IMO they should be kind of used to having to deal with it.  If you want your dog there, none of your VIPs would skip the wedding because of the dog being there, and you know your dog is OK with larger crowds of people and people she doesn`t know then I don`t see why not to bring the dog.

I would only have the dog during the ceremony and/or for pictures.  I would also have someone (probably hire someone, as it would be unfair to ask a guest to do this on the wedding day) take the dog to and from the venue, make sure the dog is well walked, and that she has gone to the bathroom beforehand.  

vsgal

@doeydo

People have a real fear of dogs.  You should not roll your eyes at them.  You have no idea where the fear comes from.  Just because you love dogs doesn't mean that everyone shares your enthusiasm. 

As for allergies, again, your FI "deals" with his.  There are people that have severe reactions.  They cannot be around dogs even for a minute.  No amount of allergy pills will make them feel better.  My friend is one of them.  His allergies are so bad that he will close up around any kind of dog.  Not to mention, you can't expect people to plan for a dog to be present at a wedding. 

VIP consent or not, dogs do not have a place at the wedding ceremony or reception. 

I am honestly a bit surprised that you  are behind this plan.

OP, please leave the dog at home.  Please reread my post and understand there are real problems with animals and the general public.

doeydo

Well, if one had horrible allergies to dogs I would assume if they were warned about a dog being somewhere, then they can choose to not attend if they don't want to or do whatever they need to do.  If the dog is social and has been around crowds before and excited people and handles it well, again, I don't see the issue.

mrscomposer

If I was throwing a party and chose to have an allergy-trigger there, and people I cared about COULD NOT ATTEND because that allergy-trigger would cause them to have a severe medical emergency... I would be mortified.  I love my cats - they are also like my babies.  But people at a wedding reception trump my cats.

@nsaadeh - my sister and her FI had their dog in their engagement pictures.  They had one with the two of them kissing in the background, out of focus, with Murphy in the foreground with a sign that said 'my humans are getting married'.  Another one (my favourite) was the two of them as a frame for Murph ( you just saw them from the waist down on either side of him), with their hands together in a heart, and Murphy was looking up at their hands.  Adorable.

Murphy, for the record, will not be at the wedding.  He is very social, and very well trained, and loves people and is just fine in crowds.  He can have bad days.  He's staying home to make it easier on everyone - because if he hurts someone because he's stressed out, he will know it and feel horrible. 

Simply Fated

@doeydo‌ I love cats, but I can not be anywhere near them without having difficulties breathing. A magical pill doesn't exist to help me "manage." I would have to decline the invitation if I knew a cat would be in the room.
That's pretty douchey to choose one guest (the dog) over another guest. That's like knowing a guest can't be in the same room as peanuts, but serving a peanut sauce on the chicken. Or having a guest with seafood allergy and only offering salmon.


OP, I'm sorry to compare your beloved dog to food, but I'm just trying to make allergy comparisons. I absolutely understand loving your dog like a child, but unlike a human child, dogs can pose risks.

For what it's worth, I don't recommend using children who can't walk or communicate, yet, as bridal party members, either.

xnotbobx

Definitely a no-go. Could be cute idea for e-pics, though.

While I'm afraid of dogs, it's always been more important that I'm allergic to them. I used to be "regular" allergic. Then one day at work, I started having trouble breathing. Come to find out a patient had a service dog with them.

@doeydo you sound like a beebee.

artbyallie

doeydo said: Well, if one had horrible allergies to dogs I would assume if they were warned about a dog being somewhere, then they can choose to not attend if they don't want to or do whatever they need to do.  If the dog is social and has been around crowds before and excited people and handles it well, again, I don't see the issue.
ETA: Because TK eats my quote boxes  


This makes it sound though as if the dog's presence is more important than the guest's and in what world is that fair? The dog won't even know/remember what the fuck is going on, but maybe the guest would like to be able to be at the wedding.

southernbelle0915

doeydo said:

Well, if one had horrible allergies to dogs I would assume if they were warned about a dog being somewhere, then they can choose to not attend if they don't want to or do whatever they need to do.  If the dog is social and has been around crowds before and excited people and handles it well, again, I don't see the issue.

I guess... I'd be pretty disappointed if I wanted to attend a family member's wedding and I couldn't because they valued the presence of a dog more than mine. Ouch. 

ElcaB

I would strongly advise against including your dog in the wedding. I understand how much you love him/her, because I feel the same way about mine & she is part of our family. 

However, as many posters pointed out, there are many people who fear dogs or have allergies. And, on a less important note, think about what is in your dog's best interest. My dog would be very nervous to be surrounded by 100+ strangers in a strange environment. I would also be uncomfortable with the idea that she could be fed people food by well-meaning guests, or disciplined by others in ways I am not comfortable with. Not to mention, who would be keeping an eye on her? 

Leave your pup out of this celebration and party with her when you return. 

Marzipan13

I absolutely adore dogs, and have attended 2 weddings with dogs in them, but each time I couldn't stop thinking, "Please don't poop.  Oh, I hope they can sit through this whole thing.  Oh geez, he started barking, please stop.  Please don't poop, please don't poop."

I'd suggest not having your dog in the ceremony, personally.  PPs have stated other (better) reasons why.

etf: TK hates paragraphs 

kmmssg

doeydo said:

I know some people are scared of dogs, but I always kind of roll my eyes at those people.  I was walking my family dog once (a lab that was a big baby) and a woman jumped back in horror and clung to the wall as I walked by.  Another woman that lived in the building I once lived in, who I nicknamed The Scowler, gave me this horrible look whenever I walked by with my sister's dog (another big baby lab whom my mom and I used to babysit).  As for those with allergies, maybe you could put somewhere on an insert and/or your wedding website that there will be a dog on location for the wedding.  My FI's allergic to dogs and he just takes an allergy pill when he knows there is going to be dogs somewhere.  I know some people's allergies aren't as easily managed, but IMO they should be kind of used to having to deal with it.  If you want your dog there, none of your VIPs would skip the wedding because of the dog being there, and you know your dog is OK with larger crowds of people and people she doesn`t know then I don`t see why not to bring the dog.

I would only have the dog during the ceremony and/or for pictures.  I would also have someone (probably hire someone, as it would be unfair to ask a guest to do this on the wedding day) take the dog to and from the venue, make sure the dog is well walked, and that she has gone to the bathroom beforehand.  

 

SITB

 

That's great your husband can take a pill for his dog allergies.  I take a pill for my seasonal allergies and an epi pen followed by a trip to the ER for my dog allergy.  Your FI has a MILD allergy if he can control it with a pill.  I have a SEVERE allergy.  It is not controlled with a pill. 

 

I adored the dogs I was able to have - they were part of my family and my heart.  I understand the love people have for their animals but I don't think weddings are the right place for them.

 

I am disappointed you roll your eyes at people who are afraid of dogs.  Fear is fear and it isn't up to you to judge it.  It is real and should be shown some empathy and compassion.

 

climbingsingle

My cousin had her dog at her ceremony and reception. Her dog was very well behaved and there were no issues that I noticed at all. 

Our venue doesn't allow dogs, so it's not an option for us. That did make me a little sad at first, but honestly, it might have been a pain having to look after/worry about her. What if she got out/off the leash? I don't want to have to leave the wedding the walk her too. And then I'd have to have someone take her back to our house. 

We're having a photo booth at our wedding. I'm making a small cut-out poster of our dog so she can be used as a prop in the photo booth. I thought it was a cute way to include her. 

AddieCake

My husband was bitten on the face by a dog when he was a child and still has the large scar from it. He is very uncomfortable around dogs as a result. Go ahead and roll your eyes about that, though. Perhaps you'd feel differently if something like that had happened to you. I adore you, Doeydo, but that really rubbed me the wrong way. 

KatieinBkln

Wow, I did not expect to see such strong feelings here! 

OP, if you do want your dog involved, you might take a leaf from my cousin's book: Her dog was the "ring bearer" at her wedding, and walked up the aisle (on a leash, with their friend who had volunteered to mind the dog), and posed for some pics. Then the friend took the dog back to my cousins' place. 

This worked because of how close the venue was to their home, and because their roommate/friend was willing and able to be "in charge" of the dog for the short time she was at the ceremony. She also happens to be an extraordinarily well behaved dog, which is pretty crucial for this kind of thing (my dog would freak the eff out at all the people and new sounds, for example). 

Honestly I don't know how common extreme dog allergies are. I feel like dogs are basically everywhere, but living in the city you do tend to come across more (of everything, not just dogs) than if you live in a suburb and tend to drive more often. I think this is a know your crowd, and know your dog, situation.

doeydo

I guess for me, if I had a dog that I felt was like my baby and could handle a very social and excited situation like that, then yes it would be more important to me for him or her to attend than Great Aunt Jo who I see a couple times a year and am inviting out of "requirements".  If it was one of my VIPs (ie. our parents, siblings, etc.) then perhaps the dog would not attend the wedding.  I completely understand that not everyone's allergies can be "solved" by taking a pill, but you can choose to avoid places that will have dogs (though, of course, people walk dogs in public all the time).

As for the fear thing, I was abused by my father.  That doesn't mean that I should just fear all white men or all fathers out there, because that's a generalization and completely wrong.  If someone doesn't attend an event because a dog is present or leaps back as a dog that is just sitting or walking around then they need serious help, IMO.

vsgal

doeydo said:

I guess for me, if I had a dog that I felt was like my baby and could handle a very social and excited situation like that, then yes it would be more important to me for him or her to attend than Great Aunt Jo who I see a couple times a year and am inviting out of "requirements".  If it was one of my VIPs (ie. our parents, siblings, etc.) then perhaps the dog would not attend the wedding.  I completely understand that not everyone's allergies can be "solved" by taking a pill, but you can choose to avoid places that will have dogs (though, of course, people walk dogs in public all the time).

As for the fear thing, I was abused by my father.  That doesn't mean that I should just fear all white men or all fathers out there, because that's a generalization and completely wrong.  If someone doesn't attend an event because a dog is present or leaps back as a dog that is just sitting or walking around then they need serious help, IMO.

A dog is an animal.  Period. Not a baby.  Not a child.  Not a prop.  

It concerns me that you hold an animal in higher regard than your wedding guests.  Would you have that conversation? 

Great Aunt Jo, I wanted to invite you, but my dog will be there.  I know you are scared, allergic, whatever, but my dog is more important than you. Do you see how self-centered and bitchy that sounds?

Your animal has no idea what is going on.  There is a time and place for animals.  The dog park? Yes.  The pet store?  Fine.  The walking path in your neighborhood?  Great.  A public place or event that people generally don't expect to see animals and  that may have adverse reaction to your animal?  Irresponsible.  If you feel that you can take your animal any and everywhere and everyone else has to deal with it makes you a bad pet owner.  You are your animal and other people at risk for injury for your own self-indulgence.  Your outlook on how other individuals react to animals is appalling and honestly, very disturbing.  

I love animals.  But I also know there is a time and place for them.  

banana468

doeydo said:

I guess for me, if I had a dog that I felt was like my baby and could handle a very social and excited situation like that, then yes it would be more important to me for him or her to attend than Great Aunt Jo who I see a couple times a year and am inviting out of "requirements".  If it was one of my VIPs (ie. our parents, siblings, etc.) then perhaps the dog would not attend the wedding.  I completely understand that not everyone's allergies can be "solved" by taking a pill, but you can choose to avoid places that will have dogs (though, of course, people walk dogs in public all the time).

As for the fear thing, I was abused by my father.  That doesn't mean that I should just fear all white men or all fathers out there, because that's a generalization and completely wrong.  If someone doesn't attend an event because a dog is present or leaps back as a dog that is just sitting or walking around then they need serious help, IMO.

The thing is, your dog isn't your baby. It's your dog. He's not human and shouldn't come before the comfort and health of humans.

Maggie0829

All I have to add is that I definitely love my dog more then some of my family members and I find absolutely nothing wrong with that.